Dancing at the Pity Party
Part poignant cancer memoir and part humorous reflection on a motherless life, this debut graphic novel is extraordinarily comforting and engaging.From before her mother's first oncology appointment through the stages of her cancer to the funeral, sitting shiva, and afterward, when she must try to make sense of her life as a motherless daughter, Tyler Feder tells her story in this graphic novel that is full of piercing--but also often funny--details. She shares the important post-death firsts, such as celebrating holidays without her mom, the utter despair of cleaning out her mom's closet, ending old traditions and starting new ones, and the sting of having the "I've got to tell Mom about this" instinct and not being able to act on it. This memoir, bracingly candid and sweetly humorous, is for anyone struggling with loss who just wants someone to get it.

Dancing at the Pity Party Details

TitleDancing at the Pity Party
Author
LanguageEnglish
ReleaseApr 14th, 2020
PublisherDial Books
ISBN-139780525553021
Rating
GenreSequential Art, Graphic Novels, Autobiography, Memoir, Nonfiction, Comics

Dancing at the Pity Party Review

  • Steven Feder
    January 1, 1970
    My late wife (and Tyler's mother), Rhonda, was a bright, beautiful, sensitive, loving and very kind woman, unlike anyone I had ever known. She was a wonderful wife of 21 years and an adoring mother. She epitomized the meaning of the word "mother" and was totally devoted to her children. Rhonda "walked softly but carried a big stick". She was respected and admired by all who knew her and her loss was and continues to be seismic. In reading my daughter Tyler's memoir, "Dancing at the Pity Party", My late wife (and Tyler's mother), Rhonda, was a bright, beautiful, sensitive, loving and very kind woman, unlike anyone I had ever known. She was a wonderful wife of 21 years and an adoring mother. She epitomized the meaning of the word "mother" and was totally devoted to her children. Rhonda "walked softly but carried a big stick". She was respected and admired by all who knew her and her loss was and continues to be seismic. In reading my daughter Tyler's memoir, "Dancing at the Pity Party", I gained an even greater insight into the special relationship between them. Through my daughter's ever-lasting love for her mother, and her immense talent, I am so glad the memory of this amazing woman can be honored in this special way. Thank you, Tyler. I love you.
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  • Olivia | Liv's Library
    January 1, 1970
    Okay but I wasnt expecting to ACTUALLY CRY?! I loved this.You dont need to have an experience with a family member being ill in order to relate to this story. The process of grief was described so well in this book and at times had me laughing out loud! It was such a wonderful variety of sadness, heart felt moments & things that made you laugh until you actually cry. I highly recommend picking this one up!Thank you to Penguin Teen for so kindly gifting me a copy! Okay but I wasn’t expecting to ACTUALLY CRY?! I loved this.You don’t need to have an experience with a family member being ill in order to relate to this story. The process of grief was described so well in this book and at times had me laughing out loud! It was such a wonderful variety of sadness, heart felt moments & things that made you laugh until you actually cry. I highly recommend picking this one up!Thank you to Penguin Teen for so kindly gifting me a copy!
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  • CallMeAfterCoffee
    January 1, 1970
    Oddly enough I finished this on my brother's birthday (who passed away in '97), so grief and nostalgia have really been in my mind the last few days. I found this memoir very endearing and easy to read. The talk of grief was very relateable, especially the part with "dead mom" written on the side of the elephant in the room. Even 20+ years later it's something that crosses my mind when I meet someone new... How long until I have to break the "dead brother ice" and break this poor person's heart, Oddly enough I finished this on my brother's birthday (who passed away in '97), so grief and nostalgia have really been in my mind the last few days. I found this memoir very endearing and easy to read. The talk of grief was very relateable, especially the part with "dead mom" written on the side of the elephant in the room. Even 20+ years later it's something that crosses my mind when I meet someone new... How long until I have to break the "dead brother ice" and break this poor person's heart, and then feel sad that I made them sad because they weren't expecting it. Like I said, suuuper relateable. Being that the author's mother passed from cancer I think it would strike a particular chord with that crowd, but even just loss in general is a very relateable topic with this memoir. Thank you so much to Penguin Teen for sending me an advanced copy to read, it showed up at the perfect time!
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  • Candace Hernandez
    January 1, 1970
    Thank you @penguinteen #PenguinTeenPartner for sending an ARC of #DancingatthePityParty my way! And an extra thank you for sending along the cutest little packages of tissues, because I certainly needed them. I didnt even make it through the prologue without crying. 😭When I was 13 years old, I lost my mom to stomach cancer. We all know those pesky teen years are rough, and losing a parent during that time (or any time, for that matter) added an extra layer of crap to it.I had a feeling this book Thank you @penguinteen #PenguinTeenPartner for sending an ARC of #DancingatthePityParty my way! And an extra thank you for sending along the cutest little packages of tissues, because I certainly needed them. I didn’t even make it through the prologue without crying. 😭When I was 13 years old, I lost my mom to stomach cancer. We all know those pesky teen years are rough, and losing a parent during that time (or any time, for that matter) added an extra layer of crap to it.I had a feeling this book was going to be an emotional rollercoaster, but somehow @tylerfeder managed to seamlessly blend grief with humor in just the right way. I laughed, I cried. I laughed so hard I cried. So much about this book resonated with me (my copy is COVERED in book darts). I have vivid memories of returning to school after my mom died and experiencing that awkward “reintroduction” to friends - not wanting to be the center of attention while also becoming the person that comforts others about your own grief. Tyler captured that feeling so well.While this book covers a sensitive topic, it still managed to bring me so much comfort. The illustrations are gorgeous and are often the source of humor throughout the narrative. I would highly recommend this book to everyone - not just those of us that are a part of The Dead Mom Club!I wish I had a book like this when I was 13, but I am so grateful to have it now. I’m hopeful this book falls into the hands of the sons and daughters that need it so they know they aren’t alone in their grief.DANCING AT THE PITY PARTY is out 4.14.20 (20 days from now!), so mark those calendars and get your pre-orders in now!
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  • Suzanne thebookblondie
    January 1, 1970
    Dancing at the Pity Party by Tyler Feder (#33 in 2020)Thank you to @penguinteen for my advanced review copy!Tyler Feder recounts her experience with learning of her mother's cancer diagnosis all the way through the grief she experiences after her mother's death. Dancing at the Pity Party is YA, but it's more than just a book for teens. Dealing with grief is something that anyone can relate to, and, through most of the book, Tyler is in her college years.While it's told through a graphic novel Dancing at the Pity Party by Tyler Feder (#33 in 2020)Thank you to @penguinteen for my advanced review copy!Tyler Feder recounts her experience with learning of her mother's cancer diagnosis all the way through the grief she experiences after her mother's death. Dancing at the Pity Party is YA, but it's more than just a book for teens. Dealing with grief is something that anyone can relate to, and, through most of the book, Tyler is in her college years.While it's told through a graphic novel format, this book's messages are much bigger than "just a comic book." Tyler offers advice on how to communicate with someone who is grieving. She explains what to say and do and how to be present for the people in our lives who need us most. When Tyler discusses her shock at the physical and emotional changes in her mother as the cancer took over her brain, I couldn't help but have an immediate flashback to my grandmother's cancer battle. The range of emotions that Tyler expresses is vast and makes the reader realize that all of those feelings are completely normal. I highly recommend that you add this book to your TBR. Dancing at the Pity Party is currently available for pre-order and will publish on 4/14/2020.I never thought I'd admit that I cried over a comic book, but I did... multiple times. Thank goodness @penguinteen included custom tissues in my bookmail package! 5 stars
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  • Kelly
    January 1, 1970
    Fresh still in my own grief, Tyler's book about losing her mother to cancer at a young age really hit me hard. It's raw and visceral while also being quite funny. Everything she experienced in terms of grief is something I'm learning and understanding quite well, though our circumstances are obviously different. But the voice, the pain, and the ways that healing is non-linear are damn good here. I've always loved Tyler's work, and her marriage of art and storytelling are fantastic. This will Fresh still in my own grief, Tyler's book about losing her mother to cancer at a young age really hit me hard. It's raw and visceral while also being quite funny. Everything she experienced in terms of grief is something I'm learning and understanding quite well, though our circumstances are obviously different. But the voice, the pain, and the ways that healing is non-linear are damn good here. I've always loved Tyler's work, and her marriage of art and storytelling are fantastic. This will bring comfort to so, so many people. It is one that'll get you in your emotions. The art is beautifully full-color.
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  • Rachel
    January 1, 1970
    I cannot say this enough times - YOU WILL CRY IN PUBLIC. Today while reading it I cried 1) waiting for an event in a bookstore, 2) on the subway, like a lot, and 3) walking home just talking about it. SO GOOD.
  • Brenda Kahn
    January 1, 1970
    I grabbed this on my way to the airport and read it while I waited for my flight. I wept copiously. So much about this beautiful, important graphic novel resonates. It truly belongs in every possible library collection. I wouldn't necessarily hand it to someone newly grieving the loss of a loved one, but certainly to everyone who wants to help. While reading this, I couldn't help but remember the cancer journey my close friend had. We were friends because two of our sons were good buddies. She I grabbed this on my way to the airport and read it while I waited for my flight. I wept copiously. So much about this beautiful, important graphic novel resonates. It truly belongs in every possible library collection. I wouldn't necessarily hand it to someone newly grieving the loss of a loved one, but certainly to everyone who wants to help. While reading this, I couldn't help but remember the cancer journey my close friend had. We were friends because two of our sons were good buddies. She was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer when her youngest son was in second grade. Early on she wept with me and said, "I just want him to be able to remember me." I think that desire kept her alive long enough to plan his bar mitzvah and the weekend after her oldest son graduated college, she passed. Not a day passes that I do not think of her.
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  • Rec-It Rachel
    January 1, 1970
    what a gut punch, and so beautifully captured
  • Spencer Gibbons
    January 1, 1970
    What a funny, heartfelt, and poignant graphic memoir! This book will bring you comfort and help you feel understood if you've suffered with grief, and will provide essential insight if you haven't. My favorite thing about this book is that it made me laugh out loud and cry out loud. In my experience, it is very rare that a book can delve into serious, painful topics while also incorporating the levity that I believe instinctively goes along with suffering as a method of coping. Well actually, my What a funny, heartfelt, and poignant graphic memoir! This book will bring you comfort and help you feel understood if you've suffered with grief, and will provide essential insight if you haven't. My favorite thing about this book is that it made me laugh out loud and cry out loud. In my experience, it is very rare that a book can delve into serious, painful topics while also incorporating the levity that I believe instinctively goes along with suffering as a method of coping. Well actually, my favorite thing about this book is that my sister wrote it! But all that other stuff is still true. I couldn't ask for a better, more thoughtful portrayal of this story that I actually lived through. So proud of you Tylie!!
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  • Ally (book__ventures)
    January 1, 1970
    #PenguinTeenPartner .Book Review of Dancing at the Pity Party by Tyler Feder. ..First of all thank you to Penguin Teen for allowing me to review this book. I feel extremely honored. You can tell just from the first few pages that this book is special. Tyler Feder shares the story of her mom's passing, how she coped (and maybe didn't cope at times), all while illustrating it with her own amazing pictures. I loved how Feder kept the language playful, while even when she was talking about a more #PenguinTeenPartner .Book Review of Dancing at the Pity Party by Tyler Feder. ..First of all thank you to Penguin Teen for allowing me to review this book. I feel extremely honored. You can tell just from the first few pages that this book is special. Tyler Feder shares the story of her mom's passing, how she coped (and maybe didn't cope at times), all while illustrating it with her own amazing pictures. I loved how Feder kept the language playful, while even when she was talking about a more difficult moment in her life, she worded it in a way that still brought a smile out on my face. The pictures were even better. She found creative ways to depict what she was saying on that page, without being too heavy on a topic. I loved that the package Penguin sent included these tissue packets, which are talked about within the novel itself. Feder describes that if you are going through a loss, it's important to have quality tissues, so you don't have to switch to toilet paper, or even worse paper towels. ..This is a graphic novel and set up comic book style. I know it's hard to write a book like this without being really sad, but Feder nailed it at being perfectly tasteful. If you've ever gone through loss and are looking for something to relate to, definitely get a copy of Dancing at the Pity Party. If you haven't gone through loss, but still want to check out Tyler Feder's amazing work, this book will hit shelves in 20 DAYS and is currently available for pre-order as well. And a definite 5 star read..#books #bookstagram #bookworm #bookblog #bookshelf #bookobsessed #booksandtea #bookish #yabooks #yareads #youngadultbooks #lightroom #vscoreads #bookstack #bookstagrammer #bookcommunity #igreads #bookphotography #bookaholic #book #DancingatthePityParty #PenguinTeenPartner
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  • MaryJo
    January 1, 1970
    After losing my own mother on Sept. 2019, I found this this deeply refreshing to read. I spent months after losing her searching for people my own age (28) that have lost their mother young like me. Tyler Feder's experience was much like my own. The feelings and writings of grief throughout this book are real, and truthful. From the feelings of jealousy of people who have mothers, to saving literally everything my mother ever touched or used, to dealing with first holiday's, birthdays, not being After losing my own mother on Sept. 2019, I found this this deeply refreshing to read. I spent months after losing her searching for people my own age (28) that have lost their mother young like me. Tyler Feder's experience was much like my own. The feelings and writings of grief throughout this book are real, and truthful. From the feelings of jealousy of people who have mothers, to saving literally everything my mother ever touched or used, to dealing with first holiday's, birthdays, not being able to call your mother, and the ever dreading holiday that is Mother's Day, Tyler Feder's graphic novel memoir of her own experience made me feel as if I was not alone. Grief is hard to process, but Dancing at the Pity Party is a wonderful and beautiful explanation of what it is like losing a loved one, and finding your "New Normal". As a new member of the Dead Moms Club, Tyler Feder made me feel welcomed, not crazy in my emotional rollercoaster of grief, and most importantly, that I was not alone.
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  • Grace
    January 1, 1970
    While this book is obviously rough, you should read it. There is humor, love, fear, all the varying of emotions you would expect. I liked to see Judaism in a book Im reading for once. I lived in Israel and I starting crying when I read יתקדל ויקדש שעה רבה (a prayer for those who are no longer with us, recited at every service ever). I loved how open the author was about her relationship with her mom, cause she sounds like such a hoot that graced our world. As a reader, I am always so impressed While this book is obviously rough, you should read it. There is humor, love, fear, all the varying of emotions you would expect. I liked to see Judaism in a book I’m reading for once. I lived in Israel and I starting crying when I read ״יתקדל ויקדש שעה רבה״ (a prayer for those who are no longer with us, recited at every service ever). I loved how open the author was about her relationship with her mom, cause she sounds like such a hoot that graced our world. As a reader, I am always so impressed by the creativity of writers/ illustrators that write graphic novels because of how they tell the story through panels. Will it be an open page? How do you think to put that with that and have it work so well? How do you think of random nuggets to add to a panel? I could go on. The art in this is so nice, and consistent throughout the book. I loved it so much.
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  • Liz
    January 1, 1970
    Read an ARC I rec'd at PLA: This book was a beautiful, funny, and emotional look at how the author dealt with and continues to deal with the loss of her mother when the author was 19. It is very relate-able for those who have lost a parent, especially if you have lost a parent when you were young, and it has a lot of great information of what the author wished the people around her knew and would do/did in relation to her after the death of her mother. For example, it's okay to talk about the Read an ARC I rec'd at PLA: This book was a beautiful, funny, and emotional look at how the author dealt with and continues to deal with the loss of her mother when the author was 19. It is very relate-able for those who have lost a parent, especially if you have lost a parent when you were young, and it has a lot of great information of what the author wished the people around her knew and would do/did in relation to her after the death of her mother. For example, it's okay to talk about the deceased and the author really loved/likes when people speak to her about her mother, especially sharing stories with her.
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  • Lex
    January 1, 1970
    First ty to Penguin Teen for the ARC of Dancing at the Pity Party. This book reminded me of my best friend, Andrea. I took my time reading this one on purpose bc I wanted each chapter to set in. I wanted to experience it as fully as I could even though I wanted to devour it. The art, the details, the story... everything was beautiful and bittersweet and thoughtful. Ill be getting a finished copy myself as well. Thank you, Tyler. First ty to Penguin Teen for the ARC of Dancing at the Pity Party. This book reminded me of my best friend, Andrea. I took my time reading this one on purpose bc I wanted each chapter to set in. I wanted to experience it as fully as I could even though I wanted to devour it. The art, the details, the story... everything was beautiful and bittersweet and thoughtful. I’ll be getting a finished copy myself as well. Thank you, Tyler.
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  • Charlotte
    January 1, 1970
    this was WONDERFUL -- I have loved Tyler's art style for ages but didn't really know much about her as a human. this book is about love, loss and grief as Tyler chronicles the death of her mother. it is a must-read for anyone who has experienced the death of a loved one or who simply wants to understand grief a little better in a wry, witty and heartfelt way. illustrations are 11/10. everyone go buy this book.
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  • Carli
    January 1, 1970
    Thanks to Edelweiss and Penguin for the advance Kindle copy of this book. All opinions are my own.⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐/5 for this heartbreaking (seriously, have the tissues ready) graphic novel. Tyler lost her mother to cancer when she was in college. In this book, she explores what she loved about her mom, how quickly she lost her, and how she copes with the crushing grief afterward. It is honest and unflinching, and made me want to hug my own mom (which added to the sadness since we are under a stay-at-home Thanks to Edelweiss and Penguin for the advance Kindle copy of this book. All opinions are my own.•⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 for this heartbreaking (seriously, have the tissues ready) graphic novel. Tyler lost her mother to cancer when she was in college. In this book, she explores what she loved about her mom, how quickly she lost her, and how she copes with the crushing grief afterward. It is honest and unflinching, and made me want to hug my own mom (which added to the sadness since we are under a stay-at-home order). This is out next week (4.14.20), and is recommended for readers in grades 7+
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  • Heather
    January 1, 1970
    Ohhh, I needed this. The two-year anniversary of mom's death is in just a few days - this book helped me feel less alone in my grief. I often feel like the only young(ish) woman without a mom (and as as an only daughter in my family, I feel extra alone in grieving the relationship my mom and I had). It was so comforting and so validating to read about her experience. Her story was similar to mine in so many ways, I was practically nodding the entire time I was reading. What a beautiful, honest, Ohhh, I needed this. The two-year anniversary of mom's death is in just a few days - this book helped me feel less alone in my grief. I often feel like the only young(ish) woman without a mom (and as as an only daughter in my family, I feel extra alone in grieving the relationship my mom and I had). It was so comforting and so validating to read about her experience. Her story was similar to mine in so many ways, I was practically nodding the entire time I was reading. What a beautiful, honest, kind, and surprisingly funny book; I know I'll revisit it often. Also, I reeeeaaally wish there was there was the brick-and-mortar clubhouse she described for the members of the Dead Moms Club. This book is the next best thing.
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  • Kim
    January 1, 1970
    That was the most necessary and cathartic laugh-cry I have had in a long timeespecially the Home Depot panel. Graphic memoirs are my favorite. And this one hits so very, very close to home for my life experiences with my moms death as well. Im thankful to have read this book. That was the most necessary and cathartic laugh-cry I have had in a long time—especially the Home Depot panel. Graphic memoirs are my favorite. And this one hits so very, very close to home for my life experiences with my mom’s death as well. I’m thankful to have read this book.
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  • Megan
    January 1, 1970
    This book helped me build empathy. Especially during this pandemic, it made me think about how there are lots of things we cant controlthey just become a part of who we are. This book helped me build empathy. Especially during this pandemic, it made me think about how there are lots of things we can’t control—they just become a part of who we are.
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  • Summer
    January 1, 1970
    This is a really, really lovely tribute and a very honest portrayal of grief.
  • Jessica Judd
    January 1, 1970
    I am a big fan of Ms Feders artwork and have several pieces framed in my home. I am also a big fan of memoirs. I had no idea that the two would come together in such a beautifully written graphic memoir. Deeply honest and emotional, I appreciated Ms Feder opening her heart to tell this story of life altering grief. I am a big fan of Ms Feder’s artwork and have several pieces framed in my home. I am also a big fan of memoirs. I had no idea that the two would come together in such a beautifully written graphic memoir. Deeply honest and emotional, I appreciated Ms Feder opening her heart to tell this story of life altering grief.
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  • Mackenzie Walton
    January 1, 1970
    I read this on my dead dad's birthday, so I'm feeling a lot of ways right now. Mostly good! This thoughtful, honest memoir is brutal sometimes, achingly sweet at other points, but always beautifully illustrated.
  • CompletelyBooked
    January 1, 1970
    This book is an honest look at dealing with the death of a mother, and you feel as though youre experiencing Tylers pain right alongside her. We get to know her mother and see a real story about cancer and death that isnt sugarcoated. Tylers story is excellently told in this graphic novel and I look forward to seeing any future books of hers. This book is an honest look at dealing with the death of a mother, and you feel as though you’re experiencing Tyler’s pain right alongside her. We get to know her mother and see a real story about cancer and death that isn’t sugarcoated. Tyler’s story is excellently told in this graphic novel and I look forward to seeing any future books of hers.
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  • Ava Budavari
    January 1, 1970
    I was so excited when I found out that one of my favorite artists, Tyler Feder, was writing her own graphic memoir. And it was incredible. There is no other book like this out there and I think it is something that so many people will connect with. Anyone who has ever dealt with the loss of a loved one, this book is for you. Equal parts tragic, beautiful and funny, you will want to pick this up when it comes out in April 2020.
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  • Lucie
    January 1, 1970
    *Thank you to Penguin Teen for the free promotional ARC*Really enjoyed this. I was introduced to Tyler's art through this book which I really enjoyed throughout the book and outside of it. I think a graphic novel as her medium for this memoir was an excellent choice. It was heartfelt, funny at times and overall just a good book. I'm thankful that my Mom's still around so I can't say that the grief was "relatable", but it did resonate as I thought about the future when she won't be. If you're *Thank you to Penguin Teen for the free promotional ARC*Really enjoyed this. I was introduced to Tyler's art through this book which I really enjoyed throughout the book and outside of it. I think a graphic novel as her medium for this memoir was an excellent choice. It was heartfelt, funny at times and overall just a good book. I'm thankful that my Mom's still around so I can't say that the grief was "relatable", but it did resonate as I thought about the future when she won't be. If you're looking for an exploration of grief and a celebration of life this brings it in a nice pink and tastefully drawn package.
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  • Sandie, Teen Lit Rocks
    January 1, 1970
    Even though I was 32 when my mom died not 19/20 like the author, I felt like she understood exactly how I felt about losing a mom (relatively) young. I mean, I have friends in their late 60s with living parents, so 32 felt young. Tyler's graphic novel is a retelling of the year her mother died but also an exploration of grief, art, family, and the way life becomes "before" and "after" in an instant after a parent (specifically a mother) dies. Highly recommend to anyone who's also a fellow member Even though I was 32 when my mom died not 19/20 like the author, I felt like she understood exactly how I felt about losing a mom (relatively) young. I mean, I have friends in their late 60s with living parents, so 32 felt young. Tyler's graphic novel is a retelling of the year her mother died but also an exploration of grief, art, family, and the way life becomes "before" and "after" in an instant after a parent (specifically a mother) dies. Highly recommend to anyone who's also a fellow member of the Dead Mom Club. You'll cry, you'll laugh, you'll miss your mom. Thank you, Tyler, for this book.
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  • Ashley
    January 1, 1970
    Packed a gut punch in the best way. Cannot wait to see a finished copy.
  • Areli Amaya
    January 1, 1970
    ARC provided to me by Penguin Teen in exchange for my honest review.Tyler Feder lost her smart, crafty, intelligent mother to cancer when she was a sophmore in college; the devastation of it all and having to lead a "normal" life, dreading the questions that would undoubtedly break her heart all over again and having to balance the newness of everyday grief led her to write this touching, relatable, humorous and poignant graphic novel.Through Feder's talent as an artist and writer, we are taken ARC provided to me by Penguin Teen in exchange for my honest review.·Tyler Feder lost her smart, crafty, intelligent mother to cancer when she was a sophmore in college; the devastation of it all and having to lead a "normal" life, dreading the questions that would undoubtedly break her heart all over again and having to balance the newness of everyday grief led her to write this touching, relatable, humorous and poignant graphic novel.Through Feder's talent as an artist and writer, we are taken to the moment her mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer, to her last days surrounded by family - we are given a glimpse into her funeral and the manner in which Tyler dealt with being a motherless daughter for years to come.This arresting memoir is for everyone who has ever walked the path of grief and needs to realize they have never been alone. ·I would like to start my review by thanking Penguin Teen for sending this Advance Readers Copy my way - it is beautifully written and so very touching, I would not be surprised if it made my top ten books of 2020.When the publisher reached out to me wondering if I would be willing to receive a copy of this graphic novel, my first thought was "How is it even possible I didn't already know about this?". If you have been following me for a while, you will know I am death positive, which basically means I have accepted my mortality and that of my loved ones - it still hurts, but I'm not scared to talk about it or research the subject matter. One of the things we have become silently complacent with as a society, is to view death and therefore grief as a topic that should never be talked about, because it's just not polite and or right, or because we are led to believe we may hurt other people's sensibilities (even though it is the only thing we should take for granted). This has wrongly led to people swallowing their feelings, their memories and the very thoughtful conversations that would encourage the path to healing. Dancing at the Pity Party is an amalgamation of descriptive pain, anguish and SO much love, I cried repeatedly and I'm not ashamed to admit it. It's a beautiful novel that describes grief and its very prominent stages with great detail and care, while effortlessly making you laugh and cry with its sometimes humorous descriptions. The main thing that keeps coming to mind is just how relatable this graphic novel is: I am lucky to still have my mother around, but death is something I know very well and the number of times I found myself saying "Same" are too many to even remember.The artwork is beautiful, the writing style modern yet captivating and the story cathartic to read.This is one of those books I think everyone should read - I am giving it 5/5 stars.
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  • Madeline Henry
    January 1, 1970
    This is one of the best books I have ever read.I am approaching the five year anniversary of my father's death and I feel like this book came into my life at exactly the right time. Tyler Feder is a fantastic storyteller and artist. While my situation is very different from Tyler's (Tyler's mother passed away due to cancer and my father had a sudden cardiac arrest), I could relate to so many things she went through. My father also passed away when I was 19 and in university. I made so many notes This is one of the best books I have ever read.I am approaching the five year anniversary of my father's death and I feel like this book came into my life at exactly the right time. Tyler Feder is a fantastic storyteller and artist. While my situation is very different from Tyler's (Tyler's mother passed away due to cancer and my father had a sudden cardiac arrest), I could relate to so many things she went through. My father also passed away when I was 19 and in university. I made so many notes in this book and was shocked that some things can be universal experiences of those who lost a parent. While I was initially going through the grieving process, I felt so alone and I never thought that anyone could understand how I was feeling. After reading this book, I no longer feel so alone. Everyone (with or without dead parents) needs to read this.Moments I found to be most relatable:(view spoiler)[ -"All I wanted was to be able to mention offhand that I missed my mom and not have it be a whole thing" (page 7).-Compartmentalization: Fun School Tyler vs Grief/Panic Tyler (page 46).-Things That Died with my Mom, "All her stories and memories and opinions and secrets and the weirdly specific things she knew off the top of her head" (page 70).-The Stages of Grief I Have Personally Experienced (Page 71).-Types of Sadness (page 88).-The Dos and Don'ts for Dealing with a Grieving Person (page 110).-"My Mom Died Young" Reaction BINGO (page 129).-"Everything was the same, but I was different. The Tyler who had a living mom felt like a stranger. I ached for a neon sign I could wear to bridge the gap, 'My mom just died so give me a second, 'k??'" (page 137).-"You shouldn't have to be sad forever." "But I kind of want to be" (page 145).-The New Normal (page 148).-Guilt. "I feel guilty that I'm still so sad, even though it has been ten years and I'm a grown-up now. Am I being a baby?" (page 155).-"Whenever I'm meeting someone for the first time, I'm always aware of if/how/when my mom's death will come up" (page 164).-What I Wish Grief Looked Like vs What Grief Actually Looks Like (page 172).-Aging. "The idea that I could one day become older than my mom ever was feels like a gross fantasy, selfish and wrong. I found myself assuming I'll die of cancer young too. If I am lucky enough to live a long life, I'm sure I'll have a massive freak out before my 47th birthday" (179).-I Don't Know Where my Mom is Now... (page 190). (hide spoiler)]
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