The More or Less Definitive Guide to Self-Care
Some days you need a pick-me-up, some days you need a life preserver. “For most of us,” writes Anna Borges, “self-care is a wide spectrum of decisions and actions that soothe and fortify us against all the shit we deal with.” You may already practice some form of self-care, whether it’s taking an extra-long shower after a stressful day, splurging on a ~fancy~ dinner, or choosing Netflix over that friend-of-a-friend’s birthday party. But when life gets so overwhelming that you want to stay in bed, some more radical care is crucial to maintain your sanity.The More or Less Definitive Guide to Self-Care is here to help you exist in the world. Borges gathers over 200 tips, activities, and stories (from experts and everyday people alike) into an A-to-Z list—from asking for help and burning negative thoughts to the importance of touch and catching some Zzz’s. Make any day a little more OK with new skills in your self-care toolkit—and energy to show up for yourself.

The More or Less Definitive Guide to Self-Care Details

TitleThe More or Less Definitive Guide to Self-Care
Author
LanguageEnglish
ReleaseNov 1st, 2019
PublisherThe Experiment
ISBN-139781615196104
Rating
GenreNonfiction, Self Help, Health, Mental Health

The More or Less Definitive Guide to Self-Care Review

  • Anna Borges
    January 1, 1970
    i'm marking this as "read" so it counts towards my goodreads challenge and no one can stop me #selfcare
  • hannah
    January 1, 1970
    This is the kind of book that I’m going to read multiple times - at least once from cover to cover, as I already have, and in bits and pieces many times in the future, I’m sure. As somebody who not only struggles with making time for self-care, but also with figuring out what might make me feel better once I do take time for myself, the map at the end of the book is going to function as an excellent starting point for discovering and remembering all the little things that might make any given This is the kind of book that I’m going to read multiple times - at least once from cover to cover, as I already have, and in bits and pieces many times in the future, I’m sure. As somebody who not only struggles with making time for self-care, but also with figuring out what might make me feel better once I do take time for myself, the map at the end of the book is going to function as an excellent starting point for discovering and remembering all the little things that might make any given situation just a little bit more bearable. The More or Less Definitive Guide to Self-Care isn’t attempting to reinvent the wheel; instead it’s designed to be comprehensive and functional, and all the better for it. The witty writing style, personal anecdotes, and cheerful empathy for what it’s like to struggle with looking after yourself made me feel understood, and I’m really glad this book ranges from the absolute basics - hygiene, sleep, food - to the more long-term ways to fundamentally change the way you treat yourself, such as therapy options.I can’t personally imagine a person that wouldn’t benefit from owning this book and keeping it in an accessible place. Not only because of the variety of helpful options, but also because it’s a useful reminder that self-care should be a priority, and that most people struggle with it at some point or another in their lives. Honestly, I’m pretty sure reading and using this book is an act of self-care all on its own.
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  • Sakhile
    January 1, 1970
    I think I've finally found a self-help book that's actually helpful for me.I love that this book pours light on how the differences in gender, class, determine what self-care is for an individual. A lot of self-care tips are usually banking on capitalism, making self care a commodity that certain people can’t attain but Anne Borges addresses that.The More or Less Definitive Guide to Self Care is the type of book that I’d like to read over and over until the pages are bent in my favourite places. I think I've finally found a self-help book that's actually helpful for me.I love that this book pours light on how the differences in gender, class, determine what self-care is for an individual. A lot of self-care tips are usually banking on capitalism, making self care a commodity that certain people can’t attain but Anne Borges addresses that.The More or Less Definitive Guide to Self Care is the type of book that I’d like to read over and over until the pages are bent in my favourite places. I’ve already started some practising some of these tips. This is what a self-help book is supposed to do, it’s supposed to help you help yourself. I’d recommend this book for anyone who’s interested in self-care and doesn’t know where to start, or someone looking for self-care tips that don’t involve buying a candle and a face mask (not that there’s anything wrong with that) it’s all of that and more. Borges talks about how self-care sometimes gets misconstrued and ends up being a negative coping mechanism and how to avoid that.At some point, I stopped reading this book as a reviewer and started reading it as someone who badly needed it. I haven’t found a self-help book that was actually helpful before, that had helpful actions in them that one could actually undertake. That’s what Anne Borges’ book is. It’s greatly helpful and filled with tangible advice that one can take
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  • Ashley Peterson
    January 1, 1970
    The More Or Less Definitive Guide to Self-Care by Anna Borges is an A-Z listing of a wide variety of different self-care strategies. The book is visually appealing, with illustrations and an easy to read layout. Parts of the book are targeted specifically at people with mental illness, but it would still be relevant to people who don’t have a mental illness.The author explains that she sees four types of self-care that involve nourishing the body, mind, relationships, and spirit. She makes it The More Or Less Definitive Guide to Self-Care by Anna Borges is an A-Z listing of a wide variety of different self-care strategies. The book is visually appealing, with illustrations and an easy to read layout. Parts of the book are targeted specifically at people with mental illness, but it would still be relevant to people who don’t have a mental illness.The author explains that she sees four types of self-care that involve nourishing the body, mind, relationships, and spirit. She makes it clear that self-care is not selfish, an excuse, self-reliance, one-size-fits-all, or a cure. I very much agree!I found it interesting that the author acknowledged the privilege involved in being able to attend to self-care, as some people don’t have anything to spare beyond their focus on survival. I thought that showed very good insight.Throughout the book, “their care” sections contain stories from contributors about how they attend to their own self-care.Some of the strategies suggested are more internally-focused, including recognizing cognitive distortions and practicing radical acceptance. Others relate more to interactions with others, such as maintaining boundaries, saying no, and asking for help.There are a few suggestions that are a little on the “out there” side, like astrology, crystals, and tarot cards, but they’re presented in a down-to-earth rather than “woo woo” manner.Speaking of down-to-earth, I liked the author’s comment on medication: “medication isn’t for everyone, but it’s a totally viable option to talk about with your doctor.” Simple and straight to the point.I enjoyed the suggestion to build your personal blanket fort, as well as the idea of giving your inner voice a name. The example name she tossed out was Donald, which of course made me think of talking to the inner critic as if it was Donald Trump…At the end of the book, there’s a tree chart suggesting different self-care activities to suit different conditions. Personally I love that kind of thing.I was impressed with the variety of different self-care strategies suggested. While some were about creating immediate or short-term positives, others might be difficult to do but would have longer-term benefits. There was also a mix of low-effort and high-effort activities. Overall, I thought it was quite well balanced. I received a reviewer copy of this book from www.netgalley.com.
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  • Liz
    January 1, 1970
    I have been in various forms of therapy and medical intervention for my mental illness for five years now - and I was unwell for many years before that. I have taken innumerable classes, received every hand-out and info sheet, and read many many self-help books on the subject of mental health. Some of them were directed to my condition specifically, but others were for health-conscious folks of all backgrounds. Sometimes I feel that I have read everything and have seen everything and that I have been in various forms of therapy and medical intervention for my mental illness for five years now - and I was unwell for many years before that. I have taken innumerable classes, received every hand-out and info sheet, and read many many self-help books on the subject of mental health. Some of them were directed to my condition specifically, but others were for health-conscious folks of all backgrounds. Sometimes I feel that I have read everything and have seen everything and that nothing will ever again give me that "aha" moment when reading about mental health. What I find sets this book apart from all others that I have come across is its accessibility and honesty.I can be very easy in this day of commodified self-care and "treat yo' self" to fool yourself into thinking that every act of indulgence and temporary self-soothing is self-care. While sitting on the couch and having a pint of ice cream can be a self-care experience, mostly it isn't. What Anna Borges does in this concise and eminently readable volume is to assure the reader that self-care is possible, necessarily inexpensive, and important. Despite her evident command of the subject, there are no absolutes or hard-line answers in this book. Mental health management is like anything else in life: Your Mileage May Vary. She makes this clear, while still providing ideas, options, and perspectives that I believe will be helpful to anyone looking to manage their mental health. My favourite item in the entire book was the "OK-case Scenarios". I had never heard this term before and I found it really spoke to a need in mental health conversations. So often we vacillate between extremes of "best" and "worst" case scenarios and for someone with emotional regulation issues, it is a blessing to have a middle-ground that isn't a compromise, but rather a "medium-good" place. Excellent read. **I was given an advance copy of this book for review via NetGalley. I received no compensation and my vies and opinions on this title are entirely my own.**
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  • Tess Malone
    January 1, 1970
    This is not a book with a lot of pop science on why self-care works. It’s also not a book masking consumerism as self-care. But if you’re looking for something middle of the road—not a deep dive into why self-care matters but still with practical tips that acknowledge mental health—this is a great resource. None of the suggestions were new to me, but seeing them all laid out was a helpful reminder of all the tools I have at my disposal. I’ve already sent this to one friend.
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  • Shvaugn Craig
    January 1, 1970
    I bought this immediately after reading Borges' article "I'm not always very attached to being alive". This is one of the best books on self care and mental health I've every read. It's quick, comforting, and easy to read. Definitely one to keep rereading when things are hard. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go rearrange my houseplants and poke my cat to let her know I love her.
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  • Sophie
    January 1, 1970
    This was such an interesting book to read, with lots of infos and tips (from hobbies to self improvement) and I will definitely use it again in the future (starting now).I found it very well structured and easy to understand, truly a good guide.
  • Trina
    January 1, 1970
    My new favorite book recommendation is The More or Less Definitive Guide to Self-Care by Anna Borges. Every page in this book is practically perfect. The layout is easy to read, the personal stories are a lovely touch, and the facts are undeniable. The clarity of how to put the book into practice is amazing, and it covers every type of self care possible. I truly cannot recommend this book enough. Every therapist should have it in their office, every person who wants to show some kindness to My new favorite book recommendation is The More or Less Definitive Guide to Self-Care by Anna Borges. Every page in this book is practically perfect. The layout is easy to read, the personal stories are a lovely touch, and the facts are undeniable. The clarity of how to put the book into practice is amazing, and it covers every type of self care possible. I truly cannot recommend this book enough. Every therapist should have it in their office, every person who wants to show some kindness to their self should just look at any page.
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  • Karen
    January 1, 1970
    Self-care can be (and has been) defined many different ways. Many of the resources I've seen over the course of the last year have all been focusing on the "pampering" aspect of self-care. Things like taking baths, getting a pedicure, etc. I've also seen examples around practicing gratitude, journaling, etc. What's great about this book is that is has both and then so much more. I think it's relatively true to its title in that it's pretty exhaustive. "The goal of self-care is an ever-morphing Self-care can be (and has been) defined many different ways. Many of the resources I've seen over the course of the last year have all been focusing on the "pampering" aspect of self-care. Things like taking baths, getting a pedicure, etc. I've also seen examples around practicing gratitude, journaling, etc. What's great about this book is that is has both and then so much more. I think it's relatively true to its title in that it's pretty exhaustive. "The goal of self-care is an ever-morphing target, so concentrate on getting to know yourself and your needs instead of thinking in terms of cures and fixes, solutions and antidotes."This book doesn't pass judgement on how to define self-care and what's acceptable and what's not. It casts a wide net and gives you so many options that you feel empowered to pick what works for you at different times in your journey.There are so many awesome ideas in this book that I can't imagine there won't be one that speaks to you. I've read several books and hundreds of articles on self-care in the last few years and there were several new-to-me ideas in this book. Many of which I was excited to try immediately. If self-care is an area where you're interested in exploring or if it's an area where you've explored for a while and would like fresh ideas, I think you will love this book.thank you to netgalley and the experiment for an advanced copy in return for an honest review.
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  • Andrea
    January 1, 1970
    More reviews and book-ish content @ Club Book Mobile & Andrea RBKThe More or Less Definitive Guide to Self Care by Anna Borges was stellar y'all. It was absolutely stellar. Anna Borges is one of the authors of one of my favorite pieces on self care from the internet, so I was really excited to get the chance to do a deep dive into her work on the topic. This is an A to Z index of a variety of self care strategies. What I appreciate is that it keeps things simple. It's a manageable More reviews and book-ish content @ Club Book Mobile & Andrea RBKThe More or Less Definitive Guide to Self Care by Anna Borges was stellar y'all. It was absolutely stellar. Anna Borges is one of the authors of one of my favorite pieces on self care from the internet, so I was really excited to get the chance to do a deep dive into her work on the topic. This is an A to Z index of a variety of self care strategies. What I appreciate is that it keeps things simple. It's a manageable exploration of the topic. The thing about self care is that it can and should be accessible and easy. More than anything, it's about meeting basic needs and finding fulfillment in your day. I loved that this was the tone of the book. Of all the stuff I've read on self care (and I have read a lot), this is the best and most comprehensive review. I love that it wasn't just about one avenue, but this is really a chance to explore what works best for you. This is a great way to learn the what, the how, and the why of a variety of strategies around self care. This one doesn't hit shelves until November (I know, total bummer), but thanks to NetGalley I got a sneak peek! When this does hit shelves, I'll absolutely be purchasing a copy, so I can read, re-read, and re-read some more!
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  • Elizabeth
    January 1, 1970
    The More or Less Definitive Guide to Self-Care by Anna Borges is a great reference book for anyone who is looking to make their mental health a priority. Designed in an accessible A to Z format, it is full of tools, tips, tricks and practices that may make the process of caring for your self easier. While I was reading it, I wasn't shocked by any of the options- I had heard of almost all of them and practiced many of them, but it was nice to have a reminder of the skills that I've learned in The More or Less Definitive Guide to Self-Care by Anna Borges is a great reference book for anyone who is looking to make their mental health a priority. Designed in an accessible A to Z format, it is full of tools, tips, tricks and practices that may make the process of caring for your self easier. While I was reading it, I wasn't shocked by any of the options- I had heard of almost all of them and practiced many of them, but it was nice to have a reminder of the skills that I've learned in going to therapy and reading about self care strategies. The writing is really encouraging and never didactic. Reading this really feels like reaching out to a wise friend who gives you a lot of possible resources without saying "This is how you solve your problems." The flowchart, FAQ about therapy, and list of other resources in the back add to this books value. I really enjoyed the accompanying illustrations and highlighted quotes. I plan to purchase this book once it is published to add to my collection of resources related to mental health so I can easily flip through when I need a bit of a boost or guiding hand. Thanks to The Experiment and NetGalley for the ARC!
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  • Irene
    January 1, 1970
    The More or Less Definitive Guide to Self-Care From A to Z by Anna Borges is definitely More. One of those books that will be reread numerous times. I wanted to highlight so many passages while reading the ARC but will have to wait to get the print edition once it is published. Some new ideas and some older ideas but presented with a different spin making them fresh and relevant. The flowchart will prove to be a very useful tool. A very encouraging and uplifting book. Thank you to The Experiment The More or Less Definitive Guide to Self-Care From A to Z by Anna Borges is definitely More. One of those books that will be reread numerous times. I wanted to highlight so many passages while reading the ARC but will have to wait to get the print edition once it is published. Some new ideas and some older ideas but presented with a different spin making them fresh and relevant. The flowchart will prove to be a very useful tool. A very encouraging and uplifting book. Thank you to The Experiment Publishing, author, and NetGalley for the opportunity to preview the book.
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  • Kristen
    January 1, 1970
    this was a great collection of things to do/think about when you need a bit of 'self care'. i liked all the snippets from other people, i liked the variety of things listed. my favourite one was the Laugh one, i tried it and it totally worked. this is definitely a book i'll re-read snippets of when i feel like i need some self love and don't know where to start. i feel like this list is great, full of actual helpful things, different ideas for different people. there's no one thing that will this was a great collection of things to do/think about when you need a bit of 'self care'. i liked all the snippets from other people, i liked the variety of things listed. my favourite one was the Laugh one, i tried it and it totally worked. this is definitely a book i'll re-read snippets of when i feel like i need some self love and don't know where to start. i feel like this list is great, full of actual helpful things, different ideas for different people. there's no one thing that will work for every single person, and i feel like this list has a little something for everyone. i thoroughly enjoyed this!ARC received from netgalley in exchange for honest review
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  • Christy
    January 1, 1970
    Every woman should have this shelved under "required reading" - it's for your SOUL, ladies. Raise ya hand if you ever felt like you didn't practice "Self-care" to the best of your abilities. Raise ya hand if you feel burnt out, worn out, or just plain TIRED. Then say it louder for the people in the back: THERE IS NO SHAME IN SELF-CARE.
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  • caitlin
    January 1, 1970
    at first I felt a bit embarrassed at having a self-care book on my public shelf on here but whatever, this book was great and helpful and made me hopeful that I can actually practice self care that’s not just “eat a family sized bag of crisps and lie on the couch”
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  • Doris Raines
    January 1, 1970
    I LIKE THIS BOOK.
  • Stephanie Baker Opperman
    January 1, 1970
    Meant for Gen Z readers, not me.
  • Anya
    January 1, 1970
    This was just so nice to read. Not only did it give great tips and advice, but the experience of reading it itself was calming and felt like I was giving myself some space to reflect and relax.
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