Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come
What would happen if a shy introvert lived like a gregarious extrovert for one year? If she knowingly and willingly put herself in perilous social situations that she’d normally avoid at all costs? Jessica Pan is going to find out.When she found herself jobless and friendless, sitting in the familiar Jess-shaped crease on her sofa, she couldn't help but wonder what life might have looked like if she had been a little more open to new experiences and new people, a little less attached to going home instead of going to the pub.So, she made a vow: to push herself to live the life of an extrovert for a year. She wrote a list: improv, a solo holiday and... talking to strangers on the tube. She regretted it instantly.Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come follows Jess's hilarious and painful year of misadventures in extroverting, reporting back from the frontlines for all the introverts out there.But is life actually better or easier for the extroverts? Or is it the nightmare Jess always thought it would be?

Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come Details

TitleSorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come
Author
ReleaseMay 30th, 2019
PublisherDoubleday
ISBN-139780857526151
Rating
GenreNonfiction, Autobiography, Memoir

Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come Review

  • Toni
    January 1, 1970
    I'm not a shintrovert (shy introvert - a term I was not familiar with before reading this book). I enjoy working with people and speaking to them. Yet, I do need my private time and space and reading to recharge my batteries. I have always been happy with this and a company of my fantastic friends who do not see being an introvert or extrovert as better or worse than the other. Reading 'Sorry, I'm late ' was like talking to a friend, a witty, ironic, courageous, sometimes self-absorbed, but ulti I'm not a shintrovert (shy introvert - a term I was not familiar with before reading this book). I enjoy working with people and speaking to them. Yet, I do need my private time and space and reading to recharge my batteries. I have always been happy with this and a company of my fantastic friends who do not see being an introvert or extrovert as better or worse than the other. Reading 'Sorry, I'm late ' was like talking to a friend, a witty, ironic, courageous, sometimes self-absorbed, but ultimately understanding friend who just happened to ask herself 'What opportunities am I missing out on and how far am I prepared to go to find this out?'. No, I would never put myself through what she did in search for the answers, but the book that was born out of this experience is both entertaining and thought-provoking. Thank you to Edelweiss and the publisher for the ARC provided in exchange for an honest opinion.
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  • carol.
    January 1, 1970
    This sounds ghastly.
  • Jenny (Reading Envy)
    January 1, 1970
    I don't know if I'm an introvert. I know I'm perceived as an extrovert, so much so that when I moved into my current job, one of the librarians who would have to report to me sent me an article about how to care for introverts (ha!) But I have my own hill to climb to actually go out or show up. And I usually enjoy myself if I can hole up with a small group or one person (Gallup calls this the relator strength and doesn't bother with the E/I dichotomy.)I enjoyed this book where Jessica Pan spent I don't know if I'm an introvert. I know I'm perceived as an extrovert, so much so that when I moved into my current job, one of the librarians who would have to report to me sent me an article about how to care for introverts (ha!) But I have my own hill to climb to actually go out or show up. And I usually enjoy myself if I can hole up with a small group or one person (Gallup calls this the relator strength and doesn't bother with the E/I dichotomy.)I enjoyed this book where Jessica Pan spent a year doing things outside of her comfort zone, sometimes taking classes or consulting experts along the way. (Some of these experts had really useful advice! Have an exit strategy. Commit to an hour. Bring a friend. Etc.)One of my favorite chapters was when she told a story at a live event for The Moth. I also loved her comedy routines and how she talked herself into doing it three times. I felt she saw performance as extroverted, and I actually think these situations can be a safe way for introverts to get out there, because being on stage or having a persona does create distance between you and the masses. I'll give her a pass since she interacted quite a bit with fellow performers, even making some friends and connections.Possibly the even greater extrovert experiences came from the excruciating daily challenges like initiating small talk on London's public transportation when that isn't a norm for anyone, trying to get male strangers to have deep conversations upon meeting them (if I tried this, guarantee that it would be interpreted as flirting, because nobody just goes deep for the sake of deep conversation,) and the daily grind of leaving the house. And I loved her dinner party. What's worse for an introvert than letting others inside your safe space?.I had an ARC of the book from the publisher through Edelweiss and it comes out May 28, 2019.
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  • Kath Elizabeth
    January 1, 1970
    I didn't end up finishing this book, because it just started to make me anxious and uncomfortable. As an introvert myself, I could relate to a lot of what the author said. However I didn't like that she kept pushing herself to be more extroverted even though it made her very stressed and worried. I understand the concept of the book is an introvert saying yes to more things, but she pushed herself to do public speaking and was so anxious beforehand that she didn't sleep for weeks and was on the I didn't end up finishing this book, because it just started to make me anxious and uncomfortable. As an introvert myself, I could relate to a lot of what the author said. However I didn't like that she kept pushing herself to be more extroverted even though it made her very stressed and worried. I understand the concept of the book is an introvert saying yes to more things, but she pushed herself to do public speaking and was so anxious beforehand that she didn't sleep for weeks and was on the verge of taking sedatives. If something makes you that uncomfortable, maybe just accept your introversion and don't do it?
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  • The Captain
    January 1, 1970
    Ahoy there me mateys!  I received this memoir eARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.  So here be me honest musings . . .Okay so I be an introvert from an entire family of very extroverted people.  The ma can meet and talk to anyone and makes life-long friends everywhere she goes.  Me sis loves parties and tons of people hanging out at her house.  I be a tough ol' salt who has a withering glare, a distaste for crowds, and a cutless for prodding if ye get too close.  And yet I be th Ahoy there me mateys!  I received this memoir eARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.  So here be me honest musings . . .Okay so I be an introvert from an entire family of very extroverted people.  The ma can meet and talk to anyone and makes life-long friends everywhere she goes.  Me sis loves parties and tons of people hanging out at her house.  I be a tough ol' salt who has a withering glare, a distaste for crowds, and a cutless for prodding if ye get too close.  And yet I be the weird one.  Bah!  As I grown older and even more set in me ways, I like nothing more than long nights at sea with me book and me bunk and the peace of the waves.  So when I saw this title it made me laugh and I had to give it a go.And the author's journey is hell, pure and simple.  I was impressed.  I can talk to strangers if I must.  Though the sails end up tattered and all hope was nearly lost, I have survived public speaking engagements.  A Captain must do such things or face mutiny.  But doing improv or performing stand-up comedy.  I would rather slit me own throat.  I am an introvert who despises having to force extrovertedness at all costs.  Only for survival mateys!I ended up having a decent time reading this one.  I certainly found the first half of the book much more to me taste then the second half.  I feel that the latter part of her year seemed to be discussed in less detail.  It was less about the interesting people she met and more about the social situations liking traveling alone or taking magic mushrooms or more comedy nights.  I have no interest in the mushrooms and no problems traveling alone.  So I did get a bit bored.  But ultimately I applaud this kindred introvert and her pluck.  Congrats matey.  I raise me grog in toast.  Arrrr!So lastly . . .Thank you Andrews McMeel Publishing!Side note: for the large majority of introverts on me crew, if ye haven't read quiet: the power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking then I suggest giving it a gander!
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  • Genevieve Trono
    January 1, 1970
    I was totally intrigued when I saw the title of this book. I am a social introvert and I enjoyed this lighthearted but relatable non-fiction book that read like an engaging novel. As a shy introvert frequently known as a "shintrovert", Jessica Pan decided to take a year to step out of her shell and enter the "extroverted world". After a family crisis in her family turned into a light bulb moment she realized she was lacking in the friend's department. She decided to take this time to focus on co I was totally intrigued when I saw the title of this book. I am a social introvert and I enjoyed this lighthearted but relatable non-fiction book that read like an engaging novel. As a shy introvert frequently known as a "shintrovert", Jessica Pan decided to take a year to step out of her shell and enter the "extroverted world". After a family crisis in her family turned into a light bulb moment she realized she was lacking in the friend's department. She decided to take this time to focus on connecting with new people who might just turn into the good friends she was hoping for in her own life. She shares her trials and tribulations and also the things she learned along the way...many of which, pleasantly surprised her. This book was insightful and humorous and if this title catches your eye, you might enjoy it too!Thank you to NetGalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
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  • Montzalee Wittmann
    January 1, 1970
    Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to ComeOne Introvert's Year of Saying Yesby Jessica PanThis is a book I requested from NetGalley and the review is voluntary.This is a witty and clever book that I enjoyed reading. I can say relate to some of it. It has humor and is a good feeling book. I did find she repeated herself a lot. Worth the read.
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  • Sara Tucker
    January 1, 1970
    As an introvert with occasionally crippling social anxiety, I regarded Jess Pan's book warily. I saw the cover online, laughed at the icing-on-the-cake image, and then gave the subtitle a little side-eye. An introvert… saying yes… for a whole year? Say it ain't so.Alas, Pan pulled me in with enticing  hopes of being more extroverted without it costing me my sanity, and I'm very happy I gave this one a chance.I'll start off by saying that motivational, inspirational books like  You Are a Badass: As an introvert with occasionally crippling social anxiety, I regarded Jess Pan's book warily. I saw the cover online, laughed at the icing-on-the-cake image, and then gave the subtitle a little side-eye. An introvert… saying yes… for a whole year? Say it ain't so.Alas, Pan pulled me in with enticing  hopes of being more extroverted without it costing me my sanity, and I'm very happy I gave this one a chance.I'll start off by saying that motivational, inspirational books like  You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life and  The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life are my jam. I love fist pumping my way through and being completely convinced (while sitting quietly alone in my house) that I can conquer all my social-anxiety fears and do anything. And then I put the book down and happily prepare for an afternoon in peaceful solitude. The thing I feel these books have in common is that they were written by extroverts. What makes Pan's work so convincing is that the root of her perceived issues stems from her being an introvert. Yes!After acknowledging that maybe she could use a bit more of a social life, Pan vows to spend the following year doing things well outside of her comfort zone, including going to networking events where she doesn't know anyone (gasp), meeting women from Bumble BFF for coffee or drinks in the hope of feeling the elusive friend-spark (yikes), taking an improv comedy class (please, no), traveling alone and letting a complete stranger pick the destination (you can't even use a guidebook for help making plans when you get there: double yikes), doing stand-up comedy (I'd rather die), and hosting a dinner party (I mean, at least these people already like her). I so totally appreciated the lengths Pan went to for this book. Instead of making bold proclamations about how totally rewarding uncomfortable social events can be (*cough* only an extrovert would say this *cough*), she goes out and does the legwork for us introverts reading with apt attention. And guess what: sometimes it really sucks. She had some really awful, panic-inducing, I'd-rather-be-anywhere-but-here moments along the way, but she stuck with it and came out with a group of unexpected new friends to invite to a dinner party. Pan is the introvert that acknowledges that sometimes introversion is a bit of a problem, makes the resolution to try her hand at extroversion, and faces her fears for an entire year to learn that some of the stuff she was (any many introverts are, I'm sure) afraid of really wasn't that bad. She morphs from a "shintrovert" (shy introvert) into a budding "grintrovert" (gregarious introvert) in hilarious, heartwarming fashion. Her story is one that will stick with me when I'm dreading a networking event or considering cancelling plans, and I'll recommend her advice to many of my introvert friends. Many thanks to NetGalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for the opportunity to read this ARC in exchange for an honest review.
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  • Jennifer
    January 1, 1970
    This is the EXACTLY the book I needed.I don't think I have ever written a book, but reading this one makes me think I have. I too am a 30 something, shy, introverted, small town Texas girl who has no idea how to have a conversation (that doesn't involve ghosts or dogs) or make friends. I'm not Chinese, Aries or named Jessica (Pan) but I would have been if my cousin hadn't been born first, forcing my Mom to "get creative" and name me Jennifer (Ann) instead. The title of this book caught my attent This is the EXACTLY the book I needed.I don't think I have ever written a book, but reading this one makes me think I have. I too am a 30 something, shy, introverted, small town Texas girl who has no idea how to have a conversation (that doesn't involve ghosts or dogs) or make friends. I'm not Chinese, Aries or named Jessica (Pan) but I would have been if my cousin hadn't been born first, forcing my Mom to "get creative" and name me Jennifer (Ann) instead. The title of this book caught my attention, because SAME, but I had no idea just how relatable it was going to be! There were SO many times I caught myself nodding along enthusiastically or cringing at how awful some of these experiences she was forcing herself to have were, and just laughing out loud. Literally. I have finished this book inspired to go on an extrovert journey of my own - not today - but maybe someday soon I will be as brave as Jessica is.I was lucky enough to be provided this ARC in exchange for an honest and unbiased review via Netgalley. All opinions are genuine and my own.
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  • Michelle
    January 1, 1970
    Jessica Pan is an introvert and it is extremely difficult for her to make friends. She bails on engagements, is terrible at small talk, and the only friend she really has his her husband Sam. She decides to change all of this by going out into the world and researching the best ways to connect to people and gives herself a year to really make a change.This books takes her from Improv to learning how to have a meaningful conversation with another person. It’s lighthearted, funny, and a bit of a s Jessica Pan is an introvert and it is extremely difficult for her to make friends. She bails on engagements, is terrible at small talk, and the only friend she really has his her husband Sam. She decides to change all of this by going out into the world and researching the best ways to connect to people and gives herself a year to really make a change.This books takes her from Improv to learning how to have a meaningful conversation with another person. It’s lighthearted, funny, and a bit of a self-help book. I don’t think you have to be introvert to truly appreciate this book. You can be just a human wanting to better your connections with others. *I received an ARC of Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come from Andrews McMeel Publishing vía NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
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  • Rachel
    January 1, 1970
    *thank you to to Netgalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review*3 stars.As an introvert I thought that this would be right up my alley. And to some degree it was. I could relate to certain parts of it but there was still alot that made me realise just how much of an introvert I am as I felt that the people in these short stories were more outgoing than I am, so for that reason there was alot that didn't interest me or that I could relate to. Stil *thank you to to Netgalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review*3 stars.As an introvert I thought that this would be right up my alley. And to some degree it was. I could relate to certain parts of it but there was still alot that made me realise just how much of an introvert I am as I felt that the people in these short stories were more outgoing than I am, so for that reason there was alot that didn't interest me or that I could relate to. Still it had parts that made me smile and it was quite well written. I really really like the name for this book. It's one of my favourite sayings. This collection of short stories I can see being a hit for alot of people. It's just unfortunately isn't for me so much but it's still a good read.
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  • Jeannette
    January 1, 1970
    Upfront, I received a free copy of this book from Net Galley in exchange for possibly reviewing it.I LOVED this book. I am an Introvert with a Myers-Briggs I. This book was on my TBR as soon as I saw the title. I'm not a shintrovert like the author. I have to pretend to be an extrovert for work, and it is exhausting! What's a shintrovert? Read the book. Still, I could relate to her story on so many levels. Oddly enough, I have also lived in Beijing and London. I know exactly the challenges she's Upfront, I received a free copy of this book from Net Galley in exchange for possibly reviewing it.I LOVED this book. I am an Introvert with a Myers-Briggs I. This book was on my TBR as soon as I saw the title. I'm not a shintrovert like the author. I have to pretend to be an extrovert for work, and it is exhausting! What's a shintrovert? Read the book. Still, I could relate to her story on so many levels. Oddly enough, I have also lived in Beijing and London. I know exactly the challenges she's talking about. She is a lot kinder in describing them than I am. I really enjoyed her approach to the personal challenge she set. Besides being funny and entertaining, the book is surprisingly educational. I learned quite a bit, and I felt she really incorporated expert advice so well. If you are an introvert, read this book. You'll find a kindred spirit. If you are an extrovert but always wondered why introverts do the things they do, read this book. If you don't know what you are, take a Myers-Briggs test first, then read the book. And Jessica, now that I know many of your deepest, darkest secrets, would it be weird if I still wanted to be friends? #SorryImLateIDidntWantToCome #NetGalley
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  • Karen
    January 1, 1970
    As a fellow introvert, I can definitely relate to a lot of Jessica Pan's experiences and struggles. Pan had a goal of breaking out of her shell and enlisted the help and advice of some experts along the way. Her story is shared with lots of insight and plenty of humor. This book was a lot of fun to read and I learned a few things too. While I won't be signing up for stand-up classes anytime soon, I definitely could benefit from breaking out of my own shell a bit more often. Thanks, Jessica, for As a fellow introvert, I can definitely relate to a lot of Jessica Pan's experiences and struggles. Pan had a goal of breaking out of her shell and enlisted the help and advice of some experts along the way. Her story is shared with lots of insight and plenty of humor. This book was a lot of fun to read and I learned a few things too. While I won't be signing up for stand-up classes anytime soon, I definitely could benefit from breaking out of my own shell a bit more often. Thanks, Jessica, for sharing your experiences!Thanks to Andrews McMeel Publishing and NetGalley for the eARC in exchange for my honest review.
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  • McKenzie/literarydragon
    January 1, 1970
    Published May 28th I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.If you’re an introvert go get a copy of this book! OMG! This book! It was like reading a mirror. In my notes I wrote “this lady might actually be me.” I mean she even moved to China and took a job that terrified her. I took a job in China that forced me to spend 18 hours a week teaching a class of strangers and the other 22 hours planning (read stressing) about those classes. It was awful and amazing. I did both Published May 28th I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.If you’re an introvert go get a copy of this book! OMG! This book! It was like reading a mirror. In my notes I wrote “this lady might actually be me.” I mean she even moved to China and took a job that terrified her. I took a job in China that forced me to spend 18 hours a week teaching a class of strangers and the other 22 hours planning (read stressing) about those classes. It was awful and amazing. I did both better and worse than I ever imagined I could and it was mostly better. Reading Jessica Pan’s experience of such a similar situation was rewarding and made me feel connected to a complete stranger like only a good book can. Jessica Pan even had the same reaction to Quiet by Susan Cain as I did. I felt so relieved reading Quiet. It felt like it was okay to be more for once and it was okay to not want to talk to complete strangers and make friends in public places for no reason other than liking people. And just like Pan I used Quiet as an excuse to “accept” the introvert version of myself. “I had taken my introvert status as a license to wall myself off from others.” What that means was that I decided I had a license to hide from the whole world until I started to become agoraphobic and had a real panic attack every time I went into WalMart. I didn’t spend much time out of the house. I finished my master’s degree online and then stayed home with nothing to do and no one to talk to (my husband worked) and slowly retreated to a very dark place where there was no reason to wake up. Fast forward through China, finding out I have thyroid tumors (most likely benign), a couple self-help books, and the realization that I am responsible for my life and here I am today working in my career as a librarian and working at WalMart smiling and complimenting complete strangers. No panic attacks yet. The only negative I have found in this is that it sometimes makes me less empathetic towards people who have anxiety. I still have anxiety, but it is much less than it was a year ago. I find myself inwardly shrugging when people tell me they haven’t taken enough anxiety meds to handle a slightly difficult day. I have to remind myself that one year ago I should have had a few doses of anxiety meds to handle getting out of bed before three in the afternoon. I have absolutely no room to judge anyone. There were times when I thought “I’m not this bad” like when Jess is going to give a speech she stresses about for a month before it. But it was a speech for 900 people so I can only imagine the freak out and hyperventilating I would do in that situation. And when I started to feel too smug about how I would handle a speech well I remembered that I basically gave myself an ulcer from stressing myself out over teaching classes. Sooo yeah, take that self-righteous Kenzie. However, I would still like to issue a small challenge. If you’re struggling, try one thing that makes you shudder. It doesn’t have to be “big” by anyone’s standards but yours. “Nobody waves but everybody waves back.”I’m very much the dive into cold water type of person so when I couldn’t handle a basic conversation with anyone I threw myself into one of the most populated foreign countries and forced myself to teach groups of teenagers for three hours per class. This is soo not what everyone should do. Small steps are very good.I thought it was interesting that being an introvert stayed with Pan while traveling. I get that you don’t change just because your location does so it makes sense, but I’m judging it based on my experience. In my case I moved to China and I made a commitment to making friends and meeting new people. Basically while I was in China I pulled a “Jessica Pan” and tried to extrovert. It was easier because when I just couldn’t do it I could hide behind my husband. I also met another introvert who was the best and became known as a “goth on the inside.” Note: my husband is goth on the outside and that is how the subject came up for comparison. This was such a rewarding read not only for the times when it felt like a reflection, but also for the times when it made me feel triumphant for the things I’m now able to do that I couldn’t do before. I had one judgmental moment about her husband. **sort of spoiler** Her dad might die and her husband doesn’t even come with her? That was weird for me, but hey every relationship is different. **end of spoiler**I would recommend this book for anyone who is an introvert or who loves an introvert. This book is especially great if you want to challenge yourself to be a little more gregarious. Tell me how you feel about this review in the comments. Let me know how you feel about being an introvert or an extrovert. What was the book you read that made you feel like it was okay to be you? For more reviews like this feel free to visit my blog https://www.literarydragonreviews.web...
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  • Juliana
    January 1, 1970
    Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for this digital ARC.I would actually round this up to 3.5 stars. I liked this book but I wasn't quite sure what to expect. As a social introvert, the premise of this book intrigued me and made me cringe at the same time. I figured it would be something similar to Yes Man but it really wasn't. Jessica Pan basically threw herself out of her comfort zone and tried things to help her understand her anxiety. This book took me a handful of days to get through Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for this digital ARC.I would actually round this up to 3.5 stars. I liked this book but I wasn't quite sure what to expect. As a social introvert, the premise of this book intrigued me and made me cringe at the same time. I figured it would be something similar to Yes Man but it really wasn't. Jessica Pan basically threw herself out of her comfort zone and tried things to help her understand her anxiety. This book took me a handful of days to get through (I partially blame the reading layout of Adobe Digital Editions) because it didn't flow quickly as much as I would have liked. That's probably my main negative nitpick about it. Otherwise, I commend Jessica for some (not all) of the activities that she tried. I would NEVER try stand-up comedy or improv and definitely would stay away from any hardcore drug experiences, even if that chapter was interesting. The surprise trip she takes might be my favorite part of the book, even if I'm too much of a planner to ever try something like that. She can really write her social anxiety well and, if I'm being honest, it gave me a little bit of secondhand social anxiety. You know...if that's a thing. I can see people enjoying this book and the adventures that Jessica goes through. I'm glad I read it, even when I was uncomfortable at times.
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  • Susanne
    January 1, 1970
    Thank you to Andrews McMeel Publishing and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review. I really enjoyed this book - Jessica Pan takes us into her world as a "shintrovert" (shy introvert) and what she experienced during a year of trying to live more like an extrovert. Her writing style is warm, witty and personable, and it's hard to believe that she really is introverted and shy. I am definitely more of an extrovert, and found hearing her side of the story very illuminating, in terms o Thank you to Andrews McMeel Publishing and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review. I really enjoyed this book - Jessica Pan takes us into her world as a "shintrovert" (shy introvert) and what she experienced during a year of trying to live more like an extrovert. Her writing style is warm, witty and personable, and it's hard to believe that she really is introverted and shy. I am definitely more of an extrovert, and found hearing her side of the story very illuminating, in terms of being a better friend to introverts. From the reviews I saw before I read the book, I understand some people thought it would be more scientific and go into mental health aspects like anxiety, panic attacks etc. and give advice on that level - and it most certainly is not, nor does it pretend to be. The author does consult various experts on how to overcome challenges (talking to strangers, networking etc.) and I liked the way she works lots of facts and statistics into the narrative without bogging it down. There is also a short bibliography included at the back, although this is not footnoted in the text of the book. Overall - well-written and highly recommended!
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  • Madalina Negrea
    January 1, 1970
    How far would you go in order to make friends (in a foreign country, in a busy city)?Jessica Pan goes the whole nine yards, which is admirable. She challenges herself to overcome her natural shyness, to leave her comfort zone and live as an extrovert for a year. And she does it by the book: she sets her target, does research (sometimes on Google!), talks to specialists (not necessarily licensed, anyone with a vast experience should do!), puts the ideas in practice and then quantifies the results How far would you go in order to make friends (in a foreign country, in a busy city)?Jessica Pan goes the whole nine yards, which is admirable. She challenges herself to overcome her natural shyness, to leave her comfort zone and live as an extrovert for a year. And she does it by the book: she sets her target, does research (sometimes on Google!), talks to specialists (not necessarily licensed, anyone with a vast experience should do!), puts the ideas in practice and then quantifies the results. Talking to strangers on the street or on the bus, going on a trip in a surprise city without a map or tourist guides or eating magic mushrooms might not yield the desired result, but networking, friend-dating and taking improv classes might. By the end of the year, Jessica gathers enough friends to host a Thanksgiving dinner (the ultimate challenge!). The author's light tone, the self-deprecating humour reveals not only Jessica's vulnerabilities but also shows she's aware of her shortcomings and needs people in her life that might compensate for them. We all do, so grab a pen and paper and start taking notes!
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  • Megan Byrd
    January 1, 1970
    A self-proclaimed "shintrovert" (shy introvert), Jessica is living in London with her husband and feeling lonely now that all of her good friends moved away. She decides to try to live more like an extrovert for a year to see if she can find new good friends. She tries things like talking to strangers, public speaking, an improv class, and hosting a dinner party. I enjoyed hearing her research and experiences. Some of them made my heart rate increase as some of her activities are high in my avoi A self-proclaimed "shintrovert" (shy introvert), Jessica is living in London with her husband and feeling lonely now that all of her good friends moved away. She decides to try to live more like an extrovert for a year to see if she can find new good friends. She tries things like talking to strangers, public speaking, an improv class, and hosting a dinner party. I enjoyed hearing her research and experiences. Some of them made my heart rate increase as some of her activities are high in my avoidance radar. An encouraging, entertaining, and inspiring read for this introvert who has felt lonely at different times to be brave and put myself out there when needed.
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  • Heather Wood
    January 1, 1970
    If the title of this book speaks to you, you absolutely need to get a copy! Pan tells her story of stepping out of her introvert shell with relatable and laugh out loud humor. While reading there were so many things that made me think, made me stop because I was laughing so hard, or made me say "Oh my goodness, me too!"!Really looking forward to the audiobook version of this, I'll be snapping that up ASAP!I recieved an ARC of this book in exchange for my honest opinion. #SorryImLateIDidntWantToC If the title of this book speaks to you, you absolutely need to get a copy! Pan tells her story of stepping out of her introvert shell with relatable and laugh out loud humor. While reading there were so many things that made me think, made me stop because I was laughing so hard, or made me say "Oh my goodness, me too!"!Really looking forward to the audiobook version of this, I'll be snapping that up ASAP!I recieved an ARC of this book in exchange for my honest opinion. #SorryImLateIDidntWantToCome #NetGalley
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  • Rachel Kapelke-Dale
    January 1, 1970
    Made me laugh so much! I loved the "mentors" along the way. Plus I loved the adventures in London, Paris, Edinburgh, and the forest. Funny, inspiring, brilliant.
  • Danielle Locklair
    January 1, 1970
    Oh man I devoured this story from the very beginning!!! It was hilarious and very relatable! Highly recommend! I will be buying this in hard copy when it comes out.
  • Melissa
    January 1, 1970
    4.5/5Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come is a collection of stories from Jessica Pan during her one-year journey towards being more extroverted (as a way to meet new people and make new friends). First off, let me stress the fact that there is nothing wrong with being shy and introverted. Jess knows this (I'm just going to call her Jess from here on out because at this point, I feel like we could totally be bffs), but decided to challenge herself and step outside her comfort zone in order to 4.5/5Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come is a collection of stories from Jessica Pan during her one-year journey towards being more extroverted (as a way to meet new people and make new friends). First off, let me stress the fact that there is nothing wrong with being shy and introverted. Jess knows this (I'm just going to call her Jess from here on out because at this point, I feel like we could totally be bffs), but decided to challenge herself and step outside her comfort zone in order to feel less lonely. As an introvert, I found most of Jess's stories completely relatable - in many ways, I went through similar situations which helped me overcome my shyness and pretend to be more extroverted when the occasion demands it (although, unlike Jess, I would never purposely throw myself into those situations). Interestingly enough, like Jess, I have also lived in China and UK (I was in Shanghai and Birmingham though, as opposed to Beijing and London) so I felt like I could relate to many of her experiences.Like Jess, I used to be a "shintrovert" - what Jessica refers to as a shy introvert. As I grew older and worked part-time in customer service, I was forced to get over my shyness and build confidence when interacting with customers. When I got my first job in high school, the idea of approaching customers and answering phone calls terrified me. So I could completely relate to the fear, nervousness and discomfort Jessica went through when she forced herself to approach and talk to strangers. The same thing happened with public speaking. When I was in university, I found out (to my horror) that nearly every single one of my classes include assignments where I had to give a presentation (and, more often than not, multiple presentations 😱). What I learned from my experience (and the lesson learned from Jess's experience), was that practice makes perfect. The more you prepare and practice, the more confident you'll feel. It takes a tremendous amount of courage and willpower for a shy and introverted person to do everything that Jess did so I applaud her for that. I admire Jess's commitment towards being more extroverted and signing up to do extroverted things that I would never consider doing... like doing improv and stand-up (which brought back terrible cringe-worthy memories from my high school drama class days. Why did a shy introvert like myself take drama? I was forced into it by the guidance counselor because they said it would be a great class for a shy girl like me... but also because it was the only class during that period that wasn't full. It was a nightmare come true and I will forever hate my guidance counselor for messing up my schedule). I also don't think I could ever travel without first planning out every detail of my trip, especially when it comes to researching travel routes, and knowing all the bus and train schedules (my biggest travel fear is getting lost and stranded in the middle of nowhere with no cell service).I did learn a few things from Jess's experience though - How to Make New Friends :-Sign up for a class or group activity as a way to meet new people and expand your social circle (it doesn't have to be improv or stand-up, but something that you're genuinely interested in)-Engage in 'Deep Talk' (skip the small surface talk and dig deeper but remember to share your own vulnerabilities)-Learn to be more charismatic (ask questions, listen, ask a follow-up question, then validate their feelings)-'Nobody waves, but everyone waves back' (translation: you need to make the first move! and the rest will follow)tl;dr - Overall, this was a very entertaining memoir with plenty of fun and relatable stories. I felt like Jess and I had a lot in common and she seems genuinely funny and interesting. I also like that on top of being a memoir, this book included a lot of well-researched studies and interviews from psychologists, therapists and other experts who helps Jess on her journey of extroverting. I really enjoyed this book and would recommend it to other introverts and extroverts who are looking for different ways to be more extroverted. I wouldn't really recommend this to highly introverted and sensitive individuals though. My boyfriend, for example, is super introverted and when I told him about this book, just the thought of wandering around the subway talking to strangers made him uncomfortable and gave him anxiety. For me, doing improv and stand-up is where I draw the line but it's still interesting to read another introvert's experience in overcoming their introverted fears (besides, Jess ended up having a lot of fun doing improv and stand-up, so I'm happy for her).Big thanks to Netgalley for providing an eARC in exchange for an honest review.
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  • Jen
    January 1, 1970
    This is a tricky one to review, in that Jessica Pan's writing is quite good in an informal, chatty, magazine style and is clearly well researched - but I'm not really sure about the concept. The synopsis is: "An introvert spends a year trying to live like an extrovert with hilarious results and advice for readers along the way..." In a time where we have had Susan Cain's book "Quiet", which Pan even makes reference to, it seems a shame that introverts still feel they need to try to be something This is a tricky one to review, in that Jessica Pan's writing is quite good in an informal, chatty, magazine style and is clearly well researched - but I'm not really sure about the concept. The synopsis is: "An introvert spends a year trying to live like an extrovert with hilarious results and advice for readers along the way..." In a time where we have had Susan Cain's book "Quiet", which Pan even makes reference to, it seems a shame that introverts still feel they need to try to be something they're not (i.e. more extroverted) in order to be happy. (And where's the parallel title where an extrovert spends a year saying no and learning the pleasures of solitude?) Nonetheless, as an introvert myself, I was intrigued to learn more about her experiment. It was cool to read about Pan using Bumble BFF as I actually met one of my BFFs (hi Donna!) through this app. Although I value plenty of 'me-time' it's still important to me to have social connection (preferably on a one-to-one basis) but it's hard to make new friends as an introverted adult. I think this platonic Tinder-esque platform is actually a great way for introverts to make friends as you get to read the person's bio, see if you have something in common, and do some online chatting before meeting in person. Whilst Pan struggled with it, I actually like solo travel (although I'd find it a nightmare doing it without a guide book and extensive pre-planning!) and I'd be ok hosting a dinner party of friends - as she discovered, hosts get plenty of time to hide in the kitchen for respite! However, the idea of going to big networking events, and doing improv and stand up is nightmarish to me, and indeed whilst Pan gains some self-understanding through these, the negative effect on her mental health makes me question whether it was really worth it. Overall, the book has some helpful advice if you're a shy extrovert (they do exist) or an ambivert, but I don't think it's really that beneficial to true introverts.
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  • Elizabeth Buttrick
    January 1, 1970
    Part memoir, part self-help, Jessica Pan takes on a challenge that literally makes my palms sweat and heart race, and lives to relay the tale. In recounting her experience “extroverting” for a year, she shares tips and tricks that seem basic enough for a 10 year old, but are helpful for introverts like me for whom holding a conversation with a stranger is a mentally demanding task. There were parts of the book I related to less than others, mainly because Jessica is a “shintrovert” (a shy introv Part memoir, part self-help, Jessica Pan takes on a challenge that literally makes my palms sweat and heart race, and lives to relay the tale. In recounting her experience “extroverting” for a year, she shares tips and tricks that seem basic enough for a 10 year old, but are helpful for introverts like me for whom holding a conversation with a stranger is a mentally demanding task. There were parts of the book I related to less than others, mainly because Jessica is a “shintrovert” (a shy introvert), and I’m just an introvert, but overall it was a rewarding read that challenged me to rethink the excuses I make as an introvert. I’d recommend it for any introvert willing to push themselves outside their comfort zone to experience all life has to offer. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC!
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  • Eva
    January 1, 1970
    This was a charming, hilarious, poignant book. It picked me from the title because it's definitely me.The writer is a shintrovert who finds herself in an unhappy place (cold London, all friends abroad, lonely) and decides to go through a year of extroverting.If you ever dreaded your birthday party so much you told friends and family only the day before, or every time you had to talk to a group of people, or generally be the centre of attention, then you'll relate so much you'd think you might ha This was a charming, hilarious, poignant book. It picked me from the title because it's definitely me.The writer is a shintrovert who finds herself in an unhappy place (cold London, all friends abroad, lonely) and decides to go through a year of extroverting.If you ever dreaded your birthday party so much you told friends and family only the day before, or every time you had to talk to a group of people, or generally be the centre of attention, then you'll relate so much you'd think you might have written it (if you ever dared doing the crazy things she had done during the year)The writer is honest, open, she makes you feel every single moment of the challenges she bravely submits her to, being totally funnySo since I know most strong readers and fellow bookstagrammers here are as introvert as I am, and as the writer is, I'm basically sure you'll love it."I love you all. The quiet ones, also observing, who are witty and thoughtful and want to leave early with me"🌟🌟🌟🌟
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  • Cristie Underwood
    January 1, 1970
    I loved this book! It shows just how amazing those experiences that we think are going to be uncomfortable can be if we push past our anxiety and experience new things!
  • MP
    January 1, 1970
    I wanted to immediately give this book to several people as I was reading this laugh out loud memoir by a 30ish “shintrovert” (shy introvert) who decides to undertake a year long experiment being more like an extrovert. It was such a refreshing lesson on connecting with other humans face to face, even when it means having to deal with intimidating strangers in unfamiliar surroundings. Jessica Pan is an American transplant in England. Feeling friendless (aside from her husband), she subjects hers I wanted to immediately give this book to several people as I was reading this laugh out loud memoir by a 30ish “shintrovert” (shy introvert) who decides to undertake a year long experiment being more like an extrovert. It was such a refreshing lesson on connecting with other humans face to face, even when it means having to deal with intimidating strangers in unfamiliar surroundings. Jessica Pan is an American transplant in England. Feeling friendless (aside from her husband), she subjects herself to stomachache inducing ventures that start with talking to random people on the train and advance quickly to doing stand up comedy at The Fringe. Her goal with each experience is to make deep, meaningful connections - to get past small talk and surface friendships. It’s a nerve wracking but ultimately highly rewarding year. As a journalist who lived abroad, travelled and even did a (what she described as failed) stint on TV, I think her introverted nature certainly didn’t stop her from being pretty adventurous. Her willingness to put herself out there in various painful ways is really inspiring. And, she survived! Even had fun! Although I would draw the line at doing a joke monologue on stage, based on how funny she is on paper, I think she obviously had something in her that would make improv and stand up viable challenges. At a minimum, I found myself at a reception recently where I thought to myself, “what would Jessica do?” and made more of an effort to talk to new people. That’s a start! Thanks to NetGalley for the advance copy for review.
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  • Katinstockholm
    January 1, 1970
    A funny and charming account of how shy introvert Jessica Pan spent one year living as an extrovert. This is an easy read as Jessica has the ability to carry you along in her story. You feel as if you are there with her when she climbs on stage and attends networking events to get over her fears. As a fellow introvert (although maybe not to the same extent as Jessica), I really enjoyed learning the mechanics behind how she overcame her anxiety and worries.
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  • Amanda Taddey
    January 1, 1970
    I really liked this book! Jessica spends a year of her life doing things that scare her in hopes of breaking through her shyness. I was so impressed by the steps she took to make new friends and put herself out there. I found this book to be so relatable and was inspired by Jessica’s year of living like an extrovert. She includes tips and lessons learned by her mentors along the way and I love that she invited all her new friends and acquaintances to a dinner party at the end of her year-long jo I really liked this book! Jessica spends a year of her life doing things that scare her in hopes of breaking through her shyness. I was so impressed by the steps she took to make new friends and put herself out there. I found this book to be so relatable and was inspired by Jessica’s year of living like an extrovert. She includes tips and lessons learned by her mentors along the way and I love that she invited all her new friends and acquaintances to a dinner party at the end of her year-long journey. This book was lovely, funny, cringe-worthy as a fellow shintrovert, and inspirational. I learned some things along the way and throughly enjoyed this book.
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  • Edna
    January 1, 1970
    n introvert spends a year trying to live like an extrovert with hilarious results and advice for readers along the way.What would happen if a shy introvert lived like a gregarious extrovert for one year? If she knowingly and willingly put herself in perilous social situations that she’d normally avoid at all costs? Writer Jessica Pan intends to find out. With the help of various extrovert mentors, Jessica sets up a series of personal challenges (talk to strangers, perform stand-up comedy, host a n introvert spends a year trying to live like an extrovert with hilarious results and advice for readers along the way.What would happen if a shy introvert lived like a gregarious extrovert for one year? If she knowingly and willingly put herself in perilous social situations that she’d normally avoid at all costs? Writer Jessica Pan intends to find out. With the help of various extrovert mentors, Jessica sets up a series of personal challenges (talk to strangers, perform stand-up comedy, host a dinner party, travel alone, make friends on the road, and much, much worse) to explore whether living like an extrovert can teach her lessons that might improve the quality of her life. Chronicling the author’s hilarious and painful year of misadventures, this book explores what happens when one introvert fights her natural tendencies, takes the plunge, and tries (and sometimes fails) to be a little bit braver.Totally loved the book "Sorry I'm Late, I didn't Want to Come". As I am also an extreme introvert, It made me smile. But it also gave me thought to get out and make an effort. I must say, I do have an excuse for everything. In this day you can order weekly groceries online, food delivered, even restaurants and pharmacies. Amazon is a friend. Love this book. I will be buying the paperback.Thanks to NetGalley for the advance copy for review.
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