The Highly Sensitive Child
"The bestselling author and psychologist whose books have topped 240,000 copies in print now addresses the trait of "high sensitivity" in children-and offers a breakthroughparenting guidebook for highly sensitive children and their caregivers."With the publication of "The Highly Sensitive Person," Elaine Aron became the firstperson to identify the inborn trait of "high sensitivity" and to show how it affects the lives of those who possess it. Up to 20 percent of the population is born highly sensitive, and now in"The Highly Sensitive Child, " Aron shifts her focus to highly sensitive children, who share the same characteristics as highly sensitive adults and thus face unique challenges as they grow up. Rooted in Aron's years of experience as a psychotherapist and her original research on child temperament, "The Highly Sensitive Child" shows how HSCs are born deeplyreflective, sensitive to the subtle, and easily overwhelmed. These qualities can make for smart, conscientious, creative children, but with the wrong parenting or schooling, they can become unusually shy or timid, orbegin acting out. Few parents and teachers understand where this behavior comes from-and as a result, HSCs are often mislabeled as overly inhibited, fearful, or "fussy,"or classified as"problem children" (and in some cases, misdiagnosed with disorders such as Attention Deficit Disorder). But raised with proper understanding and care, HSCs are no more prone to these problems thannonsensitive children and can grow up to be happy, healthy, well-adjusted adults. In this pioneering work, parents will find helpful self-tests and case studies to help them understand their HSC, alongwith thorough advice on: - The challenges of raising an highly sensitive child - The four keys to successfully parenting an HSC - How to soothehighly sensitive infants - Helping sensitive children survive in a not-so-sensitive world - Making school and friendshipsenjoyable With chapters addressing the needs of specific age groups, from newborns through teens, " The Highly Sensitive Child" delivers warmhearted, timely information forparents, teachers, and the sensitive children in their lives. "From the Trade Paperback edition."

The Highly Sensitive Child Details

TitleThe Highly Sensitive Child
Author
LanguageEnglish
ReleaseOct 8th, 2002
PublisherHarmony
Rating
GenreParenting, Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Education

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The Highly Sensitive Child Review

  • Baker
    January 1, 1970
    Highly sensitive individuals are those born with a tendency to notice more in their environment and deeply reflect on everything before acting, as compared to those who notice less and act quickly and impulsively. As a result sensitive people, both children and adults, tend to be empathic, smart, intuitive, creative, careful, and conscientious (they are aware of the effects of a misdeed, and so are less likely to commit one). They are also more easily overwhelmed by "high volume" or large quanti Highly sensitive individuals are those born with a tendency to notice more in their environment and deeply reflect on everything before acting, as compared to those who notice less and act quickly and impulsively. As a result sensitive people, both children and adults, tend to be empathic, smart, intuitive, creative, careful, and conscientious (they are aware of the effects of a misdeed, and so are less likely to commit one). They are also more easily overwhelmed by "high volume" or large quantities of input arriving at once. They try to avoid this, and thus seem to be shy or timid. When they cannot avoid overstimulation, they seem "easily upset" and too sensitive. Although HSP's notice more, they do not necessarily have better eyes, ears, sense of smell or taste buds(although some do report having at least one sense that is very keen.) Mainly their brains process information more thoroughly. This processing is not just in the brain, however, since HSP children or adults have faster reflexes (a reaction usually from the spnal cord), are more affected by pain, medications, and stimulants, and have more reactive immune systems. In a sense their entire body is designed to detect and understand more precisely whatever comes in. So of course HSP's probably will not like the loud Mariachi band in the mexican restaurant, noisy birthday parties, playing fast paced team sports, or everyone watching while they give an answer in class. But if you need a guitar tuned, a clever idea for party favors, a witty play on words, or to win a game like chess that requires anticipating consequences or noticing subtle differences, your HSP is the one to have around. Lets go farther inside the mind of your HSP. Yes he/she notices more, but he/she may have a "specialty." Some tune in to social cues, mainly noticing moods. Some focus on Relationships...He is so mature for his age. Thinks too much. Her feelings are so easily hurt. She cries for other kids when they are teased or hurt.70% HSP's are Introverts. 30% are Extroverts. Usually trained to be outgoing by family.HSP's are marvelously aware, caring and sensitive. nightmares, intense emotions, vivid dreams, results in outbursts or shyness.Another interesting point is that HSP's have more than likely had a "mystic" or spiritual experience even before learning about God or Religion. Whether in the form of meeting angels, praying, visions, hearing voices. Yet studies have shown they are sane and normal and tend to be a great influence on the world once they channel their spiritual awareness or harness their faith...As a parent you have been given the task of raising an exceptional child...This book really resonated with me. Learning so much more about myself. Overwhelmed. That was a word I have felt a couple of times in my life and always wondered what it meant and what was happening.This book helped to make sense of me.
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  • Eve
    January 1, 1970
    Four-word review: Are you kidding me?Now, the longer version...My daughter is an 'HSC,' or Highly Sensitive Child. We knew that from the time she was two days old and wouldn't let me put her down so I could go to the bathroom in the hospital; when I called the nurses' station for help, they commented that they'd already noticed her clinginess in the nursery. Fast-forward four and a half years, and my girl complains about bright lights and loud noises, can spot a balloon stuck in a tree half a mi Four-word review: Are you kidding me?Now, the longer version...My daughter is an 'HSC,' or Highly Sensitive Child. We knew that from the time she was two days old and wouldn't let me put her down so I could go to the bathroom in the hospital; when I called the nurses' station for help, they commented that they'd already noticed her clinginess in the nursery. Fast-forward four and a half years, and my girl complains about bright lights and loud noises, can spot a balloon stuck in a tree half a mile away and has trouble in crowds—but she's also creative and has a well-developed sense of humor. I get it—that was me, too.But with that comes stubbornness. How do I socialize her? Discipline her? Make her feel like she fits in? Dr. Aron spends a significant portion of the book telling us how wonderful and unique (well, one in five) our HSCs are, but then she's all over the board for the rest. Not only did I not get the information I was looking for, almost at the end of the book did she throw out the 'creative' idea of bringing your HSC and the class bully together for social reasons so they could learn to understand each other. Nice one... Had she mentioned that in the first couple of chapters, I could have saved myself the trouble of plodding through, looking for answers that never were to be revealed. But then, maybe I'm just being too sensitive. Two stars.
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  • Lauren
    January 1, 1970
    I skimmed this book because I thought it might offer helpful techniques for handling some of my daughter's challenges. I wavered throughout the book on whether she was actually a "Highly Sensitive Child", but regardless thinking about her as highly sensitive does help me to be more empathetic. And that was the most useful part of the book for me -- having a shift in mindset, imagining what it would be like to be so highly attuned to the world that the smallest changes would be upsetting. As for I skimmed this book because I thought it might offer helpful techniques for handling some of my daughter's challenges. I wavered throughout the book on whether she was actually a "Highly Sensitive Child", but regardless thinking about her as highly sensitive does help me to be more empathetic. And that was the most useful part of the book for me -- having a shift in mindset, imagining what it would be like to be so highly attuned to the world that the smallest changes would be upsetting. As for specific techniques for dealing with some of my daughter's challenges (e.g. group situations), I didn't gather anything particularly new.
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  • Jeanne
    January 1, 1970
    Super interesting and insightful. Gave me some good strategies and let me feel better. Highly recommend.
  • Kara
    January 1, 1970
    I am a little torn on how many stars to give this book.On the one hand, I feel that the book definitely helped me understand my highly sensitive son better. Little things that used to annoy me, or times when I thought he was overreacting, now make more sense to me and I'm able to have more patience and understanding. I feel less overwhelmed by him and so relieved to know I'm not alone and that there's an underlying thread to many of his perplexing behaviors.On the other hand I felt like the book I am a little torn on how many stars to give this book.On the one hand, I feel that the book definitely helped me understand my highly sensitive son better. Little things that used to annoy me, or times when I thought he was overreacting, now make more sense to me and I'm able to have more patience and understanding. I feel less overwhelmed by him and so relieved to know I'm not alone and that there's an underlying thread to many of his perplexing behaviors.On the other hand I felt like the book was a bit too all over the place. As soon as the author would describe a behavior to expect from a highly sensitive child, she'd backpedal and say of course your child could be the opposite type of highly sensitive child, so in that case he would do this other thing instead. I realize that all children have different personalities, but I think it would have been more appropriate for the book to stick to the most common threads of behaviors in highly sensitive children and leave descriptions of the other types out. It just added clutter and confusion to the book.Also, I did not agree with all of the parenting advice (although I didn't expect to). The author basically gives the impression that you should set up your whole life around making sure your child is at the optimum level of stimulation. I did think that many of the recommendations were very useful (how to get your child to enter a new social situation or try a new experience, how to talk with him about his feelings while still guiding him into correct behavior), but I thought many others were over the top (let him choose his own food to eat, take him shopping and let him choose all of his own clothes, use very mild punishment at all times, do whatever you can to comfort him through all tantrums, basically set up the physical environment of your home - especially his room - to be a little bubble where all of his senses are happy). So...I am thankful to have read this book, because I do feel that I understand my son and know how to deal with him better. At the same time, I was annoyed with a lot of the book while reading and felt like my time was being wasted. So three stars it is.
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  • Anna
    January 1, 1970
    It was a very interesting book, that gave me really good insights into not only my son but my husband as well. However it was a little overboard with how perfect HSCs are. They are just human like everyone else.
  • Monica
    January 1, 1970
    This is a great book. Really helped me learn how to deal with my son better. There is a test you can take online to see if your child is highly sensitive. (sensitive to sound, touch, light food etc.)
  • Abby
    January 1, 1970
    While the book gave me some insight into why my daughter reacts the way she does to certain things, what I really needed was some advice on what to do about it. Specifically how to discipline. I didn't find that here.
  • Jana
    January 1, 1970
    Very insightful, affirming, and enlightening. As a HSP with HSC, this was a life changer.
  • Lori
    January 1, 1970
    This book was so reassuring. I understand better why certain situations that are supposed to be "fun" cause my daughter stress and anxiety. Sudden loud noises, an abrupt change in the plan or routine and rooms filled with chaos can all be triggers for tears and behavior that can appear irrational to someone who is not highly sensitive or who has a child who "goes with the flow".This book is also a valuable back up for parents who are tired of rationalizing the way their kids react to other peopl This book was so reassuring. I understand better why certain situations that are supposed to be "fun" cause my daughter stress and anxiety. Sudden loud noises, an abrupt change in the plan or routine and rooms filled with chaos can all be triggers for tears and behavior that can appear irrational to someone who is not highly sensitive or who has a child who "goes with the flow".This book is also a valuable back up for parents who are tired of rationalizing the way their kids react to other people. Our society is set up to accommodate people (especially kids) who crave the "more is better" approach when it comes to lights, noise, action and pace. Kiddie attractions are generally larger than life and involve blaring music, crowds of screaming strangers, bright colors and nonstop activity. To a highly sensitve young child this environment can be a recipe for a meltdown or a withdrawal.It also explains why my daughter can be so outgoing in other situations. Being "sensitive" is different from being "shy"...although highly sensitive kids are often labeled "shy". Parents of sensitive kids who attempt to introduce their kids much more slowly to these often unpleasant but typical situations are often accused of coddling or spoiling their child.When you live with a sensitive child you develop a feeling for the triggers that will set your kid off. The point is not to shelter your child from the world...but rather to listen to your inner voice and respect your kid's limits. As a parent you need to learn to be patient and to adjust your expectations. My daughter has proven to me that she can warm up well to situations if her initial negative reaction is dealt with appropriately and she does not feel coerced.If you are the parent whose child cries at birthday parties, melts down at the amusement park or refuses to wear certain fabrics you are NOT alone. You have not "done this to your kid" as so many well-intentioned people will try to tell you. My daughter eats like a champ and is only typical in her preschool fussiness about clothing. However, sudden noises have set her off since infancy. She used to cry every time someone coughed or sneezed around her. We couldn't understand her reaction compared to these other complacent babies who just sat and smiled at everything.This is one of the few parenting books that actually describes my child's more challenging behavior.
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  • Lucy
    January 1, 1970
    I have a sensitive child who is easily overwhelmed. I have realized that I do not parent him in a way that helps him thrive. This book did not help me because it told me that for him to thrive, I can never appear to be upset in front of him, never raise my voice, never make him eat anything he doesn't want to, never force him to be in a situation he finds himself uncomfortable in...basically let him live in a totally unrealistic world. While I found the suggestions to be over-the-top (the author I have a sensitive child who is easily overwhelmed. I have realized that I do not parent him in a way that helps him thrive. This book did not help me because it told me that for him to thrive, I can never appear to be upset in front of him, never raise my voice, never make him eat anything he doesn't want to, never force him to be in a situation he finds himself uncomfortable in...basically let him live in a totally unrealistic world. While I found the suggestions to be over-the-top (the author didn't force her son to learn how to drive until he was twenty-six!), I was made aware of how a sensitive child sees the world. Much more so than less sensitive children, HSC (oh, yes. It's an acronym) are cautious and oftentimes timid because they are overwhelmed by stimuli and awareness of possible consequences. Just last weekend, I saw firsthand how my sensitive child was unable to participate in an activity until his younger brother went first, showing it was safe. And it wasn't just that he was unsure or scared for himself. The entire ordeal of watching his brother stressed him out because he was much more aware of all the possible ways it could go wrong. It was really quite something to watch. I consider myself sensitive, so I do empathize with my son and hope to be a better parent to him. I just wish the suggestions from the author were things I felt I could actually implement. Instead, I feel more discouraged that I am exactly the kind of parent who is going to ruin my child
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  • Patti
    January 1, 1970
    I found this book really helpful in terms of understanding some of my oldest child's more unique qualities. I realize now that I am also highly sensitive, but there are ways in which it affects him that I hadn't previously understood. What looks like anxiety is probably more like being overwhelmed or overstimulated by particular circumstances (and am coming to realize this is probably also true for myself). The result can sometimes be bratty behavior. I knew instinctively that it was not simply I found this book really helpful in terms of understanding some of my oldest child's more unique qualities. I realize now that I am also highly sensitive, but there are ways in which it affects him that I hadn't previously understood. What looks like anxiety is probably more like being overwhelmed or overstimulated by particular circumstances (and am coming to realize this is probably also true for myself). The result can sometimes be bratty behavior. I knew instinctively that it was not simply a problem of attitude, as he is generally a very pleasant and well-behaved kid. I now have a better understanding (via this book and his therapist) of what is going on when the monster comes out. A lot of her suggestions are things that I have implemented intuitively due to understanding his needs (in large part because we are so alike), and that was encouraging. I mean, who doesn't love a book that tells you you're doing things right?? I think I have a better understanding now of when it it safe to be firm and corrective, and when I need to prioritize his need for calm & safety FIRST and focus on negative behaviors later. I think in some respects, her advice leans a bit on the coddling side. But I also think that these are kids who are a bit more needy. Finding the balance seems to be the great challenge with these kids. If you have a kid who leans "highly sensitive" - this is probably worth a read.
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  • Dawn
    January 1, 1970
    Aron offers some solid background and tips for understanding, dealing with, and encouraging a child with a sensitive temperament. In this context, "sensitive" does not mean hippy-dippy tree-hugging stuff. It means a greater sensitivity to external stimulation, like being massively overwhelmed by noise, colors, crowds, different foods or fabric textures.This book gave me a sense of reassurance that both myself and my sensitive daughter are doing okay. I had some minor issues with Aron's insistenc Aron offers some solid background and tips for understanding, dealing with, and encouraging a child with a sensitive temperament. In this context, "sensitive" does not mean hippy-dippy tree-hugging stuff. It means a greater sensitivity to external stimulation, like being massively overwhelmed by noise, colors, crowds, different foods or fabric textures.This book gave me a sense of reassurance that both myself and my sensitive daughter are doing okay. I had some minor issues with Aron's insistence about not calling sensitive children "shy." Sure, it's best to avoid sticking our kids with negative labels, but words mean different things in different contexts and I have personally found "shy" to be a polite cultural shortcut to communicate "BACK OFF" to otherwise well-meaning people.I had hoped for more substantive help, but I suspect I didn't get more out of the book because I had intuited most of the info already. It's reassuring to see all this in print, with real research to back it up, but it doesn't really change anything for my life. This book might be more useful to a parent who is outrageously outgoing, and wonders if aliens might have replaced his/her equally outgoing child with a quiet, introspective pod person who prefers to build Legos alone and only eat Kraft original mac and cheese.
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  • James Williams
    January 1, 1970
    Having this book recommended to me was my light bulb moment it's when I fully realised that I was a highly sensitive dad raising a highly sensitive daughter. At first it was really difficult to read without getting very emotional as I reflected on my own childhood misgivings and the daily challenges I was facing as a parent. Once into the book it felt like I already knew so much because I have lived and breathed being a highly sensitive person and parent. The structure and strategies have been i Having this book recommended to me was my light bulb moment it's when I fully realised that I was a highly sensitive dad raising a highly sensitive daughter. At first it was really difficult to read without getting very emotional as I reflected on my own childhood misgivings and the daily challenges I was facing as a parent. Once into the book it felt like I already knew so much because I have lived and breathed being a highly sensitive person and parent. The structure and strategies have been invaluable on a daily basis and allows me to really truly focus on what my sensitive daughter needs. Reading this book has given me the strength and conviction to know what my sensitive child needs and to tell all those who just doubt that there is nothing wrong with her you just need to understand high sensitivity. Finding this book also filled me with a sense of relieve just knowing that I am not alone.So as you can gather I was pretty moved by the discovery of this book by Elaine Aron and have been inspired to set up online communities to help families affected by high sensitivity I have also started to write my own practical guidebook Understanding The Highly Sensitive Child. Anyone who wants to join our communities can do at http://familyfeelings.today and https://www.facebook.com/myhighlysens...
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  • Susie
    January 1, 1970
    Love this book. I don't like the subtitle as much, and I don't really think it reflects Aron's thoughts, but publishers like to have something catchy that sounds problem-solving, so there you go.If you're not familiar with Aron's work on highly sensitive people: her research indicates that 15-20 percent of the population has an innately more sensitive nervous system. This makes these people more perceptive in their physical senses (sometimes only certain ones), more attuned to nuance and meaning Love this book. I don't like the subtitle as much, and I don't really think it reflects Aron's thoughts, but publishers like to have something catchy that sounds problem-solving, so there you go.If you're not familiar with Aron's work on highly sensitive people: her research indicates that 15-20 percent of the population has an innately more sensitive nervous system. This makes these people more perceptive in their physical senses (sometimes only certain ones), more attuned to nuance and meaning, more emotionally responsive, and more attentive to (and thus quick to be overwhelmed by) the many stimuli in our world. This has its upsides and downsides, and Aron talks about each of them in connection with the tasks and experiences of childhood and growing up. As a highly sensitive person myself, I found this insightful in terms of my own childhood experiences. I also think that it helps me to identify certain qualities in my young child, and gain better insight into what he needs from me as a parent. Helpful, insightful, wise, informative, and filled with tips for each stage, this book is an extremely helpful volume for anyone who thinks their children might be highly sensitive. It will help you figure out if they are, and help you to see how you can nurture their strengths and support them in their weaknesses.
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  • Beth Gordon
    January 1, 1970
    This book really resonated with me from the first page. I could check off practically the entire list when thinking of my daughter. It's good to finally point a finger to a potential reason for her sensitivity. What kind of irked me about the book was how to cope with having a highly sensitive child. It says to explain to the principal of your child's school about your child's temperament and ask for special accommodations. I agree that explaining it to the child's teacher would be helpful, but This book really resonated with me from the first page. I could check off practically the entire list when thinking of my daughter. It's good to finally point a finger to a potential reason for her sensitivity. What kind of irked me about the book was how to cope with having a highly sensitive child. It says to explain to the principal of your child's school about your child's temperament and ask for special accommodations. I agree that explaining it to the child's teacher would be helpful, but the way the author talks about it is almost like it's a disability. There are hints and tips for various child age ranges, but a lot of the tips seem extremely common sense. If you notice your child gets overwhelmed easily, then it makes intuitive sense to not overschedule your kid. We were tipped off that our kid fell below the normal range on adjustment to new situations by the time she was a few months old, and we have always focused on one extracurricular activity at a time. So to read advice that was along this vein was a bit like "duh." All in all, the author explained oversensitivity well.
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  • Cyndi
    January 1, 1970
    This is the third time I've checked this book out of the library. The author has plenty of insight into raising a sensitive child, and her discussion of family dynamics is spot on. As a mother of a highly sensitive daughter, I appreciate this resource. The sections on discipline and communicating with teachers are helpful. Some of her recommendations are over the top, though. I am trying to raise a reasonable, flexible kid; so this means not always indulging her preferences. Where the author rec This is the third time I've checked this book out of the library. The author has plenty of insight into raising a sensitive child, and her discussion of family dynamics is spot on. As a mother of a highly sensitive daughter, I appreciate this resource. The sections on discipline and communicating with teachers are helpful. Some of her recommendations are over the top, though. I am trying to raise a reasonable, flexible kid; so this means not always indulging her preferences. Where the author recommends accomodating, I tend to challenge my daughter to try new things and "live with it" even if the texture, taste, or something else goes against her sensibilities. There are limits to my patience, time, and money. It's not easy being a sensitive person in this society, and our society needs sensitive people! I want to respect her sensitivity, but not raise a princess. Acheiving that balance is sometimes tricky with Julia. This book is a good tool, but I take a grain of salt with it.
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  • Shawna
    January 1, 1970
    I expected this book to actually offer suggestions for helping me cope with my HSC, but it didn't.When it offers a suggestion at long last, it follows up with, "But this may not work for your child, all children are different." Gee, no kidding. Just give me SOMETHING to go on.I discovered I was an HSC, too, and am an HSA, and that my son was an HSC, only I was unaware of the concept, and probably "ruined" him.HSC's need a different type of parenting and need different levels of understanding, ho I expected this book to actually offer suggestions for helping me cope with my HSC, but it didn't.When it offers a suggestion at long last, it follows up with, "But this may not work for your child, all children are different." Gee, no kidding. Just give me SOMETHING to go on.I discovered I was an HSC, too, and am an HSA, and that my son was an HSC, only I was unaware of the concept, and probably "ruined" him.HSC's need a different type of parenting and need different levels of understanding, however, this book sometimes sounds like there is something wrong with the HSC because it reminds us so often that it can be a mixed blessing to live with them. Again, no kidding.At least there is a book out there to tell parents their kids are fine, even though they may burst into tears over seemingly nothing, and that the child's irrational fears may take longer to overcome, and to remain patient. It would have been nice to have this book when my son was younger.
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  • Jo Bennie
    January 1, 1970
    When I began reading this book I was sceptical. I did not want to label my 7 year old. I knew that t the discipline style my partner and I were using was not working, but was wary of pigeonholing her. But as I read more of Aron's book I found a wealth of compassionate guidance which has allowed me to help a child who is deeply affected by the world around her and is easily overwhelmed. Aron begins with an questionnaire and overview of what a sensitive child is, what their particular needs are an When I began reading this book I was sceptical. I did not want to label my 7 year old. I knew that t the discipline style my partner and I were using was not working, but was wary of pigeonholing her. But as I read more of Aron's book I found a wealth of compassionate guidance which has allowed me to help a child who is deeply affected by the world around her and is easily overwhelmed. Aron begins with an questionnaire and overview of what a sensitive child is, what their particular needs are and the intricacies of parenting such a child if you are and if you are not highly sensitive yourself. It really helped me reflect on how my own childhood negative experiences of sensitivity have an impact on my parenting and to focus on my child's needs instead of my own fears for her.The second section moves on to parenting such a child from infancy through to young adulthood. The book ends with tips for teachers and resources. I cannot recommend it highly enough.
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  • Ali
    January 1, 1970
    This book will change my Jadelyn's life, I can better cope as her mama and it's giving me insights into my own temperment as well! Thank you Carol!!
  • Krystal
    January 1, 1970
    While I didn't agree with every tactic (was a bit too psychoanalytic) I still learned allot. There were great pieces to hold onto.
  • Avery Watkins
    January 1, 1970
    didn't need to read the entire book, but the information gave me great ideas to use with my preschooler.
  • Cball
    January 1, 1970
    HOLIE COW! I FINISHED THIS BOOK IN EXACTLY 2 YEARS.I'm not a non-fiction reader and I tend to steer clear of parenting books because about a quarter of the way through I come to the conclusion (again) that all of my problems are because of ME not because my kids may be challenging or something. I always hate it when it is all my problem. I like to share in the challenge.Anywho. This *is* a good book and I probably would have gotten even more out of it if I had read it when the kiddos were presch HOLIE COW! I FINISHED THIS BOOK IN EXACTLY 2 YEARS.I'm not a non-fiction reader and I tend to steer clear of parenting books because about a quarter of the way through I come to the conclusion (again) that all of my problems are because of ME not because my kids may be challenging or something. I always hate it when it is all my problem. I like to share in the challenge.Anywho. This *is* a good book and I probably would have gotten even more out of it if I had read it when the kiddos were preschool age. But it does help frame the challenges (umm, my problems with parenting) in a way that actually makes sense. Both of my kiddos fit into this 'highly sensitive child' spectrum but of course in different ways (truly THAT part CANNOT be my fault). There were enough tips in there for both types to assist me in my current challenges. Parents who have high cap children or kids who seem to be overstimulated easily by emotions/noise/people will highly benefit from reading this book. I will definitely keep this one around the house for reference. And I will be purchasing the author's highly sensitive adult book to hand off as a gift to my eldest soon.
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  • Helen
    January 1, 1970
    Think this book would be especially useful for particularly sensitive children with overwhelmed parents who didn't understand how to deal with their sensitive child, and were overwhelmed and at their wits end. Also good for teachers, careers and other family members in contact with very sensitive children.Being sensitive myself, and having a sensitive child, I could relate to a lot of the book's content, but there is such a lot of overwhelming advice in this book. It made my head spin a bit read Think this book would be especially useful for particularly sensitive children with overwhelmed parents who didn't understand how to deal with their sensitive child, and were overwhelmed and at their wits end. Also good for teachers, careers and other family members in contact with very sensitive children.Being sensitive myself, and having a sensitive child, I could relate to a lot of the book's content, but there is such a lot of overwhelming advice in this book. It made my head spin a bit reading it, so I dipped into it little and often, and got from it what I needed. A good reference book for all the little hurdles that the sensitive child might come across.
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  • Lara
    January 1, 1970
    Though finding this book and discovering high sensitivity in children and adults has been enlightening, the advice for handling HSCs in this book is quite repetitive and really no different than most of the advice in modern, progressive parenting books. If the label of high sensitivity is new to you and you suspect it may be relevant in your life, the first few chapters of this book are very valuable. If you are a fairly well-read, respectful parent who understands the importance of secure attac Though finding this book and discovering high sensitivity in children and adults has been enlightening, the advice for handling HSCs in this book is quite repetitive and really no different than most of the advice in modern, progressive parenting books. If the label of high sensitivity is new to you and you suspect it may be relevant in your life, the first few chapters of this book are very valuable. If you are a fairly well-read, respectful parent who understands the importance of secure attachment and respecting your children, the rest of the book isn't nearly as impactful.
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  • Jessica Badolato
    January 1, 1970
    This as an interesting book and I'm glad I read it. That said, I was expecting that it would include even more research-based evidence rather than personal anecdotes of the author's son, although some were helpful. Basically the book reminds parents of HSCs to be empathetic, know their child, and adjust and plan accordingly.
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  • Jencarey1
    January 1, 1970
    I learned a lot about how to talk to my daughter and son who both are highly sensitive. I just wish they had more recommendations for school.
  • Sarah
    January 1, 1970
    "We are happiest when doing what, by nature, we were born to do best.""See that everyone's wishes in your family are heard and respected equally when that is possible.""What counts is what we do with the cards we are dealt.""I love you. You are safe. It's okay to cry.""Sensitive children need unusually responsive, alert parenting, based on their needs and not their parents fears and stresses.""To raise a secure HSC, you also want to do all you can to keep down your own stress level and that of o "We are happiest when doing what, by nature, we were born to do best.""See that everyone's wishes in your family are heard and respected equally when that is possible.""What counts is what we do with the cards we are dealt.""I love you. You are safe. It's okay to cry.""Sensitive children need unusually responsive, alert parenting, based on their needs and not their parents fears and stresses.""To raise a secure HSC, you also want to do all you can to keep down your own stress level and that of others to whom your child is attached.""Studies of HSC's in particular make it clear that they need caregivers who display sufficient flexibility, warmth, and supportiveness. They are not secure with mothers who are angry, punishing, withdrawn, or inflexible.""Treat him like your good friend now.""Enjoy it as much as you can.""Give choices.""Even if you are totally exasperated, the less you show it, the better off you will be as well as your child. When you are melting down, too, your child becomes more upset, not less.""People are more important than things.""You are older and you can control your reactions, or rather select among them, which is what you want your child to learn to do. So take a few seconds, maybe draw a few deep breaths, then focus on your goal.""Threatening, isolating, and punishing will not connect the two of you.""Try to touch your child gently if you have to control or move your child.""Speak calmly. No yelling In everything you do, be gently firm and do not overreact. It is the reasonableness in your voice that will help more than what you say.""Keep controlling your own feelings.""Eating problems are usually the parents problem - they want their child to eat what the child does not like.""Let your child decide what to eat. Then there are no eating problems. If you do not bring junk food into the house, he will choose a good-enough balanced diet over the long haul.""You can also discuss upcoming meals menus with your child so she's not surprised, but instead happy to come to the table and eat what she helped plan, perhaps even prepare, and now anticipates. Eating is usually a social time, so keep it pleasant. By not rushing and keeping meals happy, you also give her a chance to see others eating foods she has rejected, and perhaps, while in her good mood, she might try them. Do teach your HSC how to decline a food politely; she will not be polite at another's table if she did not have to be polite with you.""Let your child wear whatever he wants to bed.""Never take and HSC on more than two errands a day.""It also helps to tell your child where you are going and how long it will take, and consider that an agreement that cannot be broken lightly. You do not want your child breaking agreements with you, and one way to see to that is to keep your own.""Do not force your child or allow anyone else to. How can she feel respected for who she is, or trust you, if you do this?""When teachers were trained to stay silent with children for longer than they would with adults, the children talked more.""Use any nonverbal means you can to show you are listening and interested.""Try to shift the responsibility of the smaller matters onto your child as soon as she can handle it. Let your child decide what to eat, when to go to bed, what clothes to wear, and even when to wash them or put them in the wash. Then the consequences of not going to bed on time or keeping clothes neat will be taught by life, not by your lectures or discipline.""In these meetings, everyone agrees on what needs to be done and how the work is to be divided, and if anyone fails to fulfill his or her agreement, there are consequences agreed upon ahead of time by all, related to the failure, and mainly involving making reparations to those affected.""Arrange for your child to have frequent breaks; allow for down time. Plan quiet times throughout the day for your HSC and for yourself.""Be more nuturing.""Make the protections of your HSC's sleep a top priority.""Let things become routine. Have meals at the same times, set the table the same way. Plan together, when that makes sense, the menus for the week's meals, the outfits to wear, the errands to be done. Look at the week's calendar to see if anything conflicts or if too much has been planned.""Keep nature at the center of your life.""Think and talk about the meaning and purpose of your life.""You cannot lose control and become angry or hopeless.""For them to be liked and feel good about themselves, for their own happiness, they cannot be allowed to carry on without limits or guidance.""Talk about the value of having willpower or persistence, or expecting a few slips and learning from them what can interfere with sticking to your goal.""You have to insist, or at least keep working at it, and your teenager has to make it difficult. And the result is "nature's plan": This way, neither of you are as sorry as you expected to be when you finally part company.""I trust you to do the right thing.""Just think it over, then do what seems right.""I'm sure you have thought of this, but I wonder how you will stay warm on that camping trip.""Expressing doubts when it is not necessary insults their judgment as well as their independence and gets you nowhere fast.""Put you HSC in charge of as many aspects of his life as possible: food, clothing, sleep schedule, and now activities schedule and homework.""If they aren't taking care of something, I'm allowed to mention it once. Then I just have to let them mess up.""Not only does this show respect, but you are providing the chance to learn the consequences of inattention, a miserable fact of adulthood. This gives them less of this to learn when they are on their own.""Sometimes the only way to get ahead is to stop, turn around, go back, and find a better route.""Be highly available to give any kind of assistance, and stay involved for the first few years to see that things are done properly and handed in on time. But give up this responsibility as soon as possible. Your goal is for your child to become independent and self-motivated, so that he does homework because it benefits his long-term goals, not because others have insisted on it."
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  • Ashley Brooks
    January 1, 1970
    This book started out okay, then quickly went downhill. I appreciated the author's description of what high sensitivity is and how you can help very young children navigate the world when they're highly sensitive. I think I would've found this section even more helpful if I wasn't highly sensitive myself. The first third of this book would probably be helpful for any non-sensitive parents who suspect they may be raising an HSC.However, this book has such a lack of research, actionable tips, and This book started out okay, then quickly went downhill. I appreciated the author's description of what high sensitivity is and how you can help very young children navigate the world when they're highly sensitive. I think I would've found this section even more helpful if I wasn't highly sensitive myself. The first third of this book would probably be helpful for any non-sensitive parents who suspect they may be raising an HSC.However, this book has such a lack of research, actionable tips, and common-sense parenting advice that I can't give it more than two stars. The author relies on her own experience raising her son and interviews with the same handful of HSC kids and their parents. Everything is anecdotal with almost no research-based evidence to support her viewpoint. This book is also starting to show its age. The sample dialogue is so stilted and formal, I can't imagine ever talking that way to a child of any age. And several of her ideas in the section on adolescents made me cringe: In order for an HSC to fit in, a parent needs to buy their kid "appropriate" clothing, and "A girl has to manage her weight, developing an athletic look." All in all, I don't recommend this one unless you know pretty much nothing about highly sensitive kids and are trying to raise one.
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  • Janene
    January 1, 1970
    I read this with my third son in mind ... then I quickly realized that my highly sensitive child is actually my FIRST son.  Beyond this startling discovery (once again) that I have no idea what I'm doing.... :)  .... it did become for me a book that gave greater understanding of a person I love beyond words, and also some ah-hah! realizations of my own makeup as well.I read this months ago and am now guessing I didn't jot down any notes, or more likely can't find them.  :)  I have trouble buying I read this with my third son in mind ... then I quickly realized that my highly sensitive child is actually my FIRST son.  Beyond this startling discovery (once again) that I have no idea what I'm doing.... :)  .... it did become for me a book that gave greater understanding of a person I love beyond words, and also some ah-hah! realizations of my own makeup as well.I read this months ago and am now guessing I didn't jot down any notes, or more likely can't find them.  :)  I have trouble buying into a book that implies that labelling a person or group of people is any use when we're all such a varied bunch of humans.  Also, often her back up research was her own experiences with her own child, but I suppose I would recommend this if a person is looking for answers on the topic.
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