I Should Have Honor
A fearless memoir about tribal life in Pakistan--and the act of violence that inspired one ambitious young woman to pursue a life of activism and female empowerment"Khalida Brohi understands the true nature of honor. She is fearless in her pursuit of justice and equality."--Malala Yousafzai, winner of the Nobel Peace PrizeFrom a young age, Khalida Brohi was raised to believe in the sanctity of arranged marriage. Her mother was forced to marry a thirteen-year-old boy when she was only nine; Khalida herself was promised as a bride before she was even born. But her father refused to let her become a child bride. He was a man who believed in education, not just for himself but for his daughters, and Khalida grew up thinking she would become the first female doctor in her small village. Khalida thought her life was proceeding on an unusual track for a woman of her circumstances, but one whose path was orderly and straightforward.Everything shifted for Khalida when she found out that her beloved cousin had been murdered by her uncle in a tradition known as "honor killing." Her cousin's crime? She had fallen in love with a man who was not her betrothed. This moment ignited the spark in Khalida Brohi that inspired a globe-spanning career as an activist, beginning at the age of sixteen. From a tiny cement-roofed room in Karachi where she was allowed ten minutes of computer use per day, Brohi started a Facebook campaign that went viral. From there, she created a foundation focused on empowering the lives of women in rural communities through education and employment opportunities, while crucially working to change the minds of their male partners, fathers, and brothers.This book is the story of how Brohi, while only a girl herself, shone her light on the women and girls of Pakistan, despite the hurdles and threats she faced along the way. And ultimately, she learned that the only way to eradicate the parts of a culture she despised was to fully embrace the parts of it that she loved.Praise for I Should Have Honor"Khalida Brohi's moving story is a testament to what is possible no matter the odds. In her courageous activism and now in I Should Have Honor, Khalida gives a voice to the women and girls who are denied their own by society. This book is a true act of honor."--Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook and founder of LeanIn.Org and OptionB.Org

I Should Have Honor Details

TitleI Should Have Honor
Author
ReleaseSep 4th, 2018
PublisherRandom House
ISBN-139780399588013
Rating
GenreAutobiography, Memoir, Nonfiction, Cultural, Pakistan, Feminism, Biography

I Should Have Honor Review

  • Kristy K
    January 1, 1970
    3.5 StarsWhat initially drew me to this memoir was the cover: it’s stunningly beautiful and I desperately need a physical copy to grace my shelves once it’s published. But the cover is also deceiving. Because inside its pages is not flowery prose or a whimsical tale; it is a story of strength, of heartbreak, of strong will and meek upbringings and yes, of honor too. Brohi examines her life and those of her parents and others in Pakistan to expose the harsh reality that many there live with: the 3.5 StarsWhat initially drew me to this memoir was the cover: it’s stunningly beautiful and I desperately need a physical copy to grace my shelves once it’s published. But the cover is also deceiving. Because inside its pages is not flowery prose or a whimsical tale; it is a story of strength, of heartbreak, of strong will and meek upbringings and yes, of honor too. Brohi examines her life and those of her parents and others in Pakistan to expose the harsh reality that many there live with: the idea that women are less than. And because of their inferior place they are subject to little freedom, a lack of education and job opportunities (if any), and strict customs. But perhaps most alarming is the way they are to bring honor to their families and the consequence of any indiscretion. Brohi's life was greatly influenced by these honor killings and she rose above at a young age to make a change in her country.The dichotomy between the way author’s parents raised her and the way their culture dictated she should be raised played a strong role in the shaping of Brohi's character. She saw the sacrifices her parents made in order to give her strength and independence and she took that to create an organization to empower other Pakistani women.I loved Brohi's observation and lesson learned that you can’t just go in and change people’s whole way of life overnight. It reminded me of a book I read earlier this year where the author discussed how after the fall of the USSR his country was just suppose to become capitalist and democratic. No transition, no educating. Just a new idea forced upon them with no time for acclimation. As Brohi learned, you can’t make people change what’s been in their culture and way of life in a few days, even if those changes are right and/or for a better future.
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  • Fareya
    January 1, 1970
    Powerful and heartfelt, I Should Have Honor tells the story of how a young tribal woman from Pakistan stood up against honor killing - a widely accepted tribal tradition in rural Pakistan, and struggled her way to bring justice to thousands. When Brohi's cousin gets murdered at the age of fourteen, in the name of honor, she is repulsed and sickened by the brutality and unjustness of the violence. Determined to fight against this injustice she takes out her anger and frustration by leading the f Powerful and heartfelt, I Should Have Honor tells the story of how a young tribal woman from Pakistan stood up against honor killing - a widely accepted tribal tradition in rural Pakistan, and struggled her way to bring justice to thousands. When Brohi's cousin gets murdered at the age of fourteen, in the name of honor, she is repulsed and sickened by the brutality and unjustness of the violence. Determined to fight against this injustice she takes out her anger and frustration by leading the fight against this unfairness faced by many young girls. In this brave and eye-opening memoir, Brohi talks about the struggles and injustice endured by tribal women in the name of custom and religion, and her resolute effort towards change and female empowerment. Over the years Khalida Brohi has worked as an activist, constantly striving towards her goal to end honor killings and doing everything in her power to raise awareness and provide opportunities to rural women in Pakistan helping them recognize their potential. It was heartbreaking to read about the way women are treated in certain tribal cultures, and Brohi's constant pursuit towards justice and equality is nothing less than inspiring. Recommended if you like inspirational memoirs and personal battles overcoming the odds.For more reviews visit my blog Booktimistic - Books, Outdoors & Optimism** A free finished copy was provided by Random House. All opinions are my own**
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  • Jill Dobbe
    January 1, 1970
    I Should Have Honor tells the story of how the author fought against honor killings in Pakistan after learning early on what happens to her female friends and cousins who don't follow the centuries-old rules.Brohi gets invited to conferences around the world to speak about the inhumane practices that women have to endure-married off at early ages, beatings by their husbands, and unable to leave their homes without permission. She also attempts to change the mindsets of the tribal leaders in the I Should Have Honor tells the story of how the author fought against honor killings in Pakistan after learning early on what happens to her female friends and cousins who don't follow the centuries-old rules.Brohi gets invited to conferences around the world to speak about the inhumane practices that women have to endure-married off at early ages, beatings by their husbands, and unable to leave their homes without permission. She also attempts to change the mindsets of the tribal leaders in the villages where she grew up. Her true-to-life stories are difficult to read at times, but give a real portrayal of what it's like to be female in a Muslim and male-dominated world.Thank you Net Galley.
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  • Novels And Nonfiction
    January 1, 1970
    https://novelsandnonfiction.com/2018/...What I LikedLearning more about the treatment of women in Pakistan. As I mentioned in the intro, I’ve been trying to educate myself about the treatment of women in those Middle Eastern countries where they are discriminated against (and neighboring countries in the region as well). I had already read Malala Yousafzai’s memoir I Am Malala about her near-fatal experience fighting for her right to be educated in Pakistan. Brohi’s memoir gave me a different le https://novelsandnonfiction.com/2018/...What I LikedLearning more about the treatment of women in Pakistan. As I mentioned in the intro, I’ve been trying to educate myself about the treatment of women in those Middle Eastern countries where they are discriminated against (and neighboring countries in the region as well). I had already read Malala Yousafzai’s memoir I Am Malala about her near-fatal experience fighting for her right to be educated in Pakistan. Brohi’s memoir gave me a different lens on many of the same ways in which women struggle to have any independence in Pakistan. Her efforts were less focused on education and more on saving women from arranged marriages as child brides, empowering them by helping them gain an income, and trying to stop them being murdered senselessly in honor killings.Subverting concept of honor. Brohi’s memoir is focused in particular on the concept of honor within her culture, and the way in which it’s bastardized through faulty reasoning that leads to the subjugation of women. Brohi wants to subvert this concept of honor from being the yoke through which women are forced to obey their families at all cost, made to hide themselves away and even be killed, back into what honor truly means. To Brohi, demonstrating honor should mean protecting your family members from harm, allowing them to follow their hearts, enabling them to fulfill their talents and aspirations and respecting them as individuals.Brohi’s personal story. In her memoir, Brohi gets very personal about her journey to independence and the struggles her family have faced. She was propelled into her career as an activist by finding out that one of her own cousins has become the victim of an honor killing. Brohi’s path to activism causes her to clash with her own family, to cross oceans in order to advocate for women’s rights, and even to find love in an unexpected way. I found it particularly interesting to read about the strong tension even Brohi experiences between her desire for independence and her familial duty. Brohi’s own father – who spurred her to pursue an education – is ambivalent in helping her when she starts to show more agency in her activism.What I Didn't Like More information on her activism. The personal focus of the memoir sometimes didn’t leave enough room to delve deeper into Brohi’s work as an activist. The reader gets broad stroke descriptions of the organization’s she’s set up in Pakistan to help women earn their own income, and through it, gain independence and respect. I really would have liked to learn more about Brohi’s organizational and practical struggle in setting up these non-profits, however. It’s clear that it must have been a nearly superhuman challenge, and I think Brohi almost sells herself short in her accomplishments by presenting it essentially as a fait accompli in her memoir.Final VerdictAt its heart, this memoir is a personal story of succeeding against the odds, but it will also inform you on the discrimination experienced by women in Pakistan and inspire you to consider the true meaning of honor.
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  • Homeschoolmama
    January 1, 1970
    I received this book as part of the early reviewers through Librarything, though it doesn't seem to be an actual ARC. It was published on Sept 4th, and this copy does seem like a final copy. I enjoyed reading Khalida's story of her fight for women's rights in Pakistan, in particular, the campaign to draw attention to the horrid practice of honor killing. Khalida is a brave woman with fierce determination and imagination. Her upbringing was unusual in that her father and mother wanted to make sur I received this book as part of the early reviewers through Librarything, though it doesn't seem to be an actual ARC. It was published on Sept 4th, and this copy does seem like a final copy. I enjoyed reading Khalida's story of her fight for women's rights in Pakistan, in particular, the campaign to draw attention to the horrid practice of honor killing. Khalida is a brave woman with fierce determination and imagination. Her upbringing was unusual in that her father and mother wanted to make sure she was educated, going against the grain of the culture. Instead of arranging marriage for Khalida when she was a child, or even before her birth, her parents adopted a more liberal approach, encouraging above all things, education. I thought the story was inspiring, but the writing was a bit too all over the place for me. The narrative style came across as very young to me, impulsive and a bit ADD. A good book overall. 3 stars.
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  • Karen
    January 1, 1970
    This is the memoir of a young girl growing up in a tribal area of Pakistan. Khalida's father was sent to school as punishment, but instead found freedom in education. He went against his father and moved his family to Karachi so that his daughters could have an education. Khalida began to question what honor meant for her family when a cousin was murdered in an honor killing. Khalida became an activist to empower women within their tribal community. Although this was a short book, I am glad I re This is the memoir of a young girl growing up in a tribal area of Pakistan. Khalida's father was sent to school as punishment, but instead found freedom in education. He went against his father and moved his family to Karachi so that his daughters could have an education. Khalida began to question what honor meant for her family when a cousin was murdered in an honor killing. Khalida became an activist to empower women within their tribal community. Although this was a short book, I am glad I read it.
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  • Marika
    January 1, 1970
    Author Khalida Brohi is on a mission, a dangerous one. She was born in Pakistan to a tribal family who observes tribal customs, but she was blessed to have a father who defied those very customs. She was taught to read, and had a loving father who told her that she should have honor. While SHE had honor, she was appalled by honor killings and it is her life's mission to teach others that the old ways are not the best ways. For readers who were inspired by Malala Yousafzai and her book, 'I Am Mal Author Khalida Brohi is on a mission, a dangerous one. She was born in Pakistan to a tribal family who observes tribal customs, but she was blessed to have a father who defied those very customs. She was taught to read, and had a loving father who told her that she should have honor. While SHE had honor, she was appalled by honor killings and it is her life's mission to teach others that the old ways are not the best ways. For readers who were inspired by Malala Yousafzai and her book, 'I Am Malala: The Girl Who Stood Up for Education and Was Shot by the Taliban.'I read an advanced copy and was not compensated
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  • Michelle Arredondo
    January 1, 1970
    Beautiful cover, I Should Have Honor: A Memoir of Hope and Pride in Pakistan, also great content. The story and life of Khalida Brohi, trials, tribulations, struggles to survive in a world that is not kind to women that don't follow harsh and strict rules that have been set in place for years and years and years. Author Khalida Brohi invites us into her past. Born into a tribal family with strict rules that have spanned generations. Her father...went against those customs and rules just a bit to Beautiful cover, I Should Have Honor: A Memoir of Hope and Pride in Pakistan, also great content. The story and life of Khalida Brohi, trials, tribulations, struggles to survive in a world that is not kind to women that don't follow harsh and strict rules that have been set in place for years and years and years. Author Khalida Brohi invites us into her past. Born into a tribal family with strict rules that have spanned generations. Her father...went against those customs and rules just a bit to teach her daughter to read and supported her journey to receive an education. He wanted his daughter to have honor. Then the death of her cousin....an honor killing. The death of her female friends...also honor killings. We get a bit of the harshness of her world. The beatings these women face by their husbands, the harsh in justices they deal with, the rights they don't have. That was not to be the case for Brohi...but of course to change the ways of generations is not an easy one. Foundations must be set up, education but be instilled, and the fight for chance but remain prevalent. I enjoyed this book so much. I feel as a reader you will enjoy this book so much more if you go and watch Khalida Brohi's TED talk. To hear her speak..to read her words...a powerful message, an ongoing battle. Wonderful book that opens the eyes. Thanks to goodreads, Author Khalida Brohi and to Random House for my free book via giveaway. I received. I read. I reviewed this book honestly and voluntarily.
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  • Sherry
    January 1, 1970
    I probably have read over 30 memoirs in my life and this is the ONLY one that made me tear in the train and then at home then again at the ending and then again while writing this. As a Pakistani woman following khalida on social media, tedTalk and finally realizing she wrote a memoir made me refresh the ups track website over and over. I read the first half on my long commute to my traditional Pakistani family and her description on how her 9 years old mother wedded and her story about how her I probably have read over 30 memoirs in my life and this is the ONLY one that made me tear in the train and then at home then again at the ending and then again while writing this. As a Pakistani woman following khalida on social media, tedTalk and finally realizing she wrote a memoir made me refresh the ups track website over and over. I read the first half on my long commute to my traditional Pakistani family and her description on how her 9 years old mother wedded and her story about how her mother still remembers the first thing her 13 years old dad said made me cry tears on the public nyc train. I think the most common thing I understood from her book was her love story with David. As a late 20s single woman, I've come cross the unmarried questions from relatives and friends and feeling if finding a person that fits their idea of a perfect spouse shouldnt also be convenient as she put it in her book. I spend over 27 years trying to fit my society fit of a partner for me but why cant love just win? The type of love David has for Khalida is one of the million and reading about their love story makes me feel hopeful. Thank you Khalida. I'll be donating to your cause and will bring all my friends to the chai spot in nyc.
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  • K.H. Leigh
    January 1, 1970
    Powerful and personal. Brohi's strongest accomplishment with this book is the clear distinction she makes between her culture and the barbarism that threatens to destroy it from within. She strongly conveys that, despite our outsiders' perception, the rampant violence against women in Pakistan is not part of the culture itself, but a cancer that infects it. It is a disease, and like any disease it must be identified, treated, cut out, cured. The country, the people, the religion, are not the dis Powerful and personal. Brohi's strongest accomplishment with this book is the clear distinction she makes between her culture and the barbarism that threatens to destroy it from within. She strongly conveys that, despite our outsiders' perception, the rampant violence against women in Pakistan is not part of the culture itself, but a cancer that infects it. It is a disease, and like any disease it must be identified, treated, cut out, cured. The country, the people, the religion, are not the disease. They do not deserve to be categorically dismissed because of the illness that plagues them. Instead, they deserve to be loved, and cared for. They deserve to be cured, so that their history and tradition can continue and their future can be strengthened.And with women like Khalida Brohi leading the way, they will be.
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  • Mackenzie Newcomb
    January 1, 1970
    I cannot stress enough how eye opening and important this book is. Khalida is a gift to the world. Though the content of this book can be extremely heavy, it is written in a way that is extremely digestible (despite the disturbing content.) This could easily be read by someone with a middle school reading level (which in my opinion is a good thing for a book that should be widely distributed.) Khalida incorporates humor when appropriate. I laughed out loud when I read that she thought Oprah live I cannot stress enough how eye opening and important this book is. Khalida is a gift to the world. Though the content of this book can be extremely heavy, it is written in a way that is extremely digestible (despite the disturbing content.) This could easily be read by someone with a middle school reading level (which in my opinion is a good thing for a book that should be widely distributed.) Khalida incorporates humor when appropriate. I laughed out loud when I read that she thought Oprah lived in the Sydney Opera House for nearly a decade, until she actually met Oprah herself! I am so inspired by Khalida, her loyalty to her tribe, and her courage to push societal boundaries.
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  • S
    January 1, 1970
    I was intrigued by the cover of this book and the title. But once I started reading this memoir it was captivating yet heartbreaking . Being from the same country as the author and knowing how honor killing is part of culture in some parts of the country. Not experiencing anything like this it was truly an eye opening experience and at times sad at how some people in the same country our living with such orthodox mentality where as for us who are blessed to live in big cities don’t have to deal I was intrigued by the cover of this book and the title. But once I started reading this memoir it was captivating yet heartbreaking . Being from the same country as the author and knowing how honor killing is part of culture in some parts of the country. Not experiencing anything like this it was truly an eye opening experience and at times sad at how some people in the same country our living with such orthodox mentality where as for us who are blessed to live in big cities don’t have to deal with these nuances . The author was lucky to have have fought with her circumstances. It’s a sad reality of how women are treated specially in these tribal areas .
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  • Steve and Tanya Panella
    January 1, 1970
    As a read the book is easy, simple, yet descriptive. As as a story it is amazing. What the author has accomplished for herself, her community, and in a ripple effect for the world tremendous. What Brohi has accomplished is inspiring, especially from such humble beginnings and against so many obstacles. Its especially encouraging to read what empathy, selflessness and determination can accomplish and perhaps we can overcome what we are faced now with so much selfishness, greed and lies in America As a read the book is easy, simple, yet descriptive. As as a story it is amazing. What the author has accomplished for herself, her community, and in a ripple effect for the world tremendous. What Brohi has accomplished is inspiring, especially from such humble beginnings and against so many obstacles. Its especially encouraging to read what empathy, selflessness and determination can accomplish and perhaps we can overcome what we are faced now with so much selfishness, greed and lies in American society. With more people like Brohi we may turn out OK.
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  • Lori
    January 1, 1970
    2.5 I felt so many things reading this book. Anger, frustration, helplessness (hopelessness), etc. Many of things the author wrote I had already heard (or read) about. I'm not sure if she brought anything new to the table. But I tried to see things from her point of view and the points of view from others she wrote about; however, I was lost. I did not come away from reading this book enlightened. Would have liked the book to read with a better flow, with the author concentrating more on the sit 2.5 I felt so many things reading this book. Anger, frustration, helplessness (hopelessness), etc. Many of things the author wrote I had already heard (or read) about. I'm not sure if she brought anything new to the table. But I tried to see things from her point of view and the points of view from others she wrote about; however, I was lost. I did not come away from reading this book enlightened. Would have liked the book to read with a better flow, with the author concentrating more on the situations than the landscape.
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  • Janilyn Kocher
    January 1, 1970
    Brohi offers a look at her life, the daughter of a progressive Pakistani father. Yet, her family is still very traditiional. Her mother was married off at 9 and bore her first child at 13. Her father was educated and emphasized the importance of that to his children. Although a girl, Brohi was sent to school and even learned English. As an adult her crusade was against honor killings, something her extended family had participated in. I Should Have Honor is one woman's attempt to drag her cultu Brohi offers a look at her life, the daughter of a progressive Pakistani father. Yet, her family is still very traditiional. Her mother was married off at 9 and bore her first child at 13. Her father was educated and emphasized the importance of that to his children. Although a girl, Brohi was sent to school and even learned English. As an adult her crusade was against honor killings, something her extended family had participated in. I Should Have Honor is one woman's attempt to drag her culture into the twenty first century. Thanks to NetGalley for the advance read.
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  • RaeAnna Rekemeyer
    January 1, 1970
    As a little girl, her father wanted her to be a doctor, but she grew up to heal what doctor’s cannot: a healer of souls. A tragedy that began in love lead Khalida Brohi down a road that would help her change her family, change her country, change the world, and bring her love. Read my full review at: https://onthebl.org/2018/09/07/i-shou...
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  • Lindsey
    January 1, 1970
    Such an amazing story of strength and courage. I was crying by the end. This is one of those books that everyone should read. P.S. Get the audiobook version. The author is the narrator and when you listen to her share her story you can hear the emotion of what she experienced ring through her voice
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  • Mary MacKintosh
    January 1, 1970
    I listened to this memoir, which was read by its author. Her emotions come through so completely as she tells the stories of honor killings in her family, and her journey through education to being a strong advocate for Pakistani women, respecting the strengths of the culture while fighting its evils.
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  • Kymberly
    January 1, 1970
    I enjoyed reading ‘I Should Have Honor’. Khalida Brohi accomplished a lot personally and culturally. The details of the challenges overcome by Khalida were limited. The book read to me as. Young Adult novel protective of children by not providing the full details of what unfolded as a way to not scare the readers. The memoir was very interesting.
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  • Lois Sittu
    January 1, 1970
    This was a very interesting read. It is the memoir of Khalida Brohi from her days as a child to a woman fighting for injustices against women in her country. Through her work and educating others she seeks to bring an end to arranged marriages and honor killings. Along with her husband David, they are trying to promote understanding between cultures.
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  • Sean Scarisbrick
    January 1, 1970
    This is a really powerful book. I first heard about Khalida Brohi and the Sughar Foundation after watching Brohi's TED Talk, and I was instantly drawn into her story. She does an excellent job of describing her culture, family history, and hopes for the future. Brohi, her work, and her determination are truly inspiring.Thanks to Random House and NetGalley for the review copy.
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  • An Introverterd Blogger
    January 1, 1970
    3.5 starshttps://www.instagram.com/p/BnOsh2pFo...
  • The Bookie Rookie
    January 1, 1970
    Khalida Brohi, this was a book that was needed in a time where honor killings still happen. So many quotes from this book that I would love to share with you all. I loved this one & I finished it within a day! It really saddens me that the lack of education has kept such a blindfold on the eyes of people even in this day & time.Here’s the most important quote I want to share with you: Honor is not murder. And dishonor is not a girl who goes to school. It is not a girl who plays outside. Khalida Brohi, this was a book that was needed in a time where honor killings still happen. So many quotes from this book that I would love to share with you all. I loved this one & I finished it within a day! It really saddens me that the lack of education has kept such a blindfold on the eyes of people even in this day & time.Here’s the most important quote I want to share with you: Honor is not murder. And dishonor is not a girl who goes to school. It is not a girl who plays outside. It is not a girl who refuses to marry at a young age. It is not a girl who speaks, laughs, and takes the opportunities that come in front of her. Instead, honor is identity. Honor is dignity. Honor is serving those we love with integrity and hard work; it is respecting each other, welcoming the stranger, and speaking and being proud of your own language. It is providing for your family, striving for the best in life, and praying for the best for people; it is being a nation that people praise and respect.
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