Marriageology
A smart and concise guide to staying together that draws on scientific findings, expert advice, and years in the marital trenches to explain why marriage is better for your health, your finances, your kids, and your happinessLike you, probably, Belinda Luscombe would rather have had her eyes put out than read a book about marriage; they all seemed full of advice that was obvious, useless, or bad. Plus they were boring. But after covering the relationship beat for Time magazine for ten years, she realized there was a surprisingly upbeat and little-known story to tell about the benefits of staying together for the long haul. Casting a witty, candid, and probing eye on the latest behavioral science, Luscombe has written a fresh and persuasive report on the state of our unions, how they've changed from the marriages of our parents' era, and what those changes mean for the happiness of this most intimate and important of our relationships.In Marriageology Luscombe examines the six major fault lines that can fracture contemporary marriages, also known as the F-words: familiarity, fighting, finances, family, fooling around, and finding help. She presents facts, debunks myths, and provides a fascinating mix of research, anecdotes, and wisdom from a wide range of approaches--from how properly dividing up chores can result in a better sex life to the benefits of fighting with your spouse (though not in the car) to whether or not to tell your partner that you lost $70,000. (The last one is from firsthand experience.)Marriageology offers simple, actionable, maybe even borderline fun techniques and tips to try, whether the relationship in question is about to conk out or just needs a little grease and an oil change. The best news of all is that sticking together is easier than it looks.Praise for Marriageology"Few things are more important than the quality of our relationships--and especially the one we build with our life partners. Belinda Luscombe has written a smart and funny book to help anyone work toward a stronger and more fulfilling marriage."--Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook and founder of LeanIn.Org and OptionB.Org"I'd recommend this book to anyone who is married. Or thinking of getting married. Or knows anyone who is married. Or who is simply interested in getting along with other human beings. Belinda Luscombe combines science, memoir, and sharp wit in this fascinating and useful book. She takes on myths about everything from soul mates to finance to going to bed angry (her advice: Do it!). Skip the gravy boat and give this as a gift to all your engaged friends."--A. J. Jacobs, author of The Year of Living Biblically

Marriageology Details

TitleMarriageology
Author
LanguageEnglish
ReleaseMay 21st, 2019
PublisherSpiegel & Grau
ISBN-139780399592362
Rating
GenreNonfiction, Relationships, Marriage, Audiobook

Marriageology Review

  • Genevieve Trono
    January 1, 1970
    Marriageology was such a fascinating read on marriage and long term relationships. Luscombe's writing was approachable with the perfect mix of scientific research, personal stories, and advice. I found myself nodding along so many times with her anecdotes regarding her own marriage history. She shares a wonderful perspective that is relatable yet also hopeful. Her ability to share the hardships of some of the biggest stumbling blocks of marriage was super accessible. She points out the 6 major Marriageology was such a fascinating read on marriage and long term relationships. Luscombe's writing was approachable with the perfect mix of scientific research, personal stories, and advice. I found myself nodding along so many times with her anecdotes regarding her own marriage history. She shares a wonderful perspective that is relatable yet also hopeful. Her ability to share the hardships of some of the biggest stumbling blocks of marriage was super accessible. She points out the 6 major "fault lines" that can fracture a marriage and how to navigate them personally and as a couple. Like many non-fiction books, certain chapters stood out to me more and I especially connected with the commentary and research she shared in the parenting section, it was spot on. I also am so happy she talked about how helpful therapy can be, and not just at times of serious distress but also as a regular practice. I learned so much from this book and I highly recommend it for anyone that is navigating a long term relationship. Thank you to NetGalley and Random House Publishing for a copy of this book. All opinions are my own.
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  • Casey Frank
    January 1, 1970
    Thank you Random House for gifting me a copy of this book.As this book points out, marriage has changed over the years, and what was once more of an economical decision- a necessary choice in financial stability and family-rearing, is now one that comes with greater expectations of happiness and emotional intimacy. Which is why books like this are nice, concise way of shoring up those emotional needs. And it's done with a degree of humor.I liked that the book cited a lot of other studies and tex Thank you Random House for gifting me a copy of this book.As this book points out, marriage has changed over the years, and what was once more of an economical decision- a necessary choice in financial stability and family-rearing, is now one that comes with greater expectations of happiness and emotional intimacy. Which is why books like this are nice, concise way of shoring up those emotional needs. And it's done with a degree of humor.I liked that the book cited a lot of other studies and texts, allowing for a greater sample of information without needing to sit down with each academic piece. Though I am reading Come As You Are at the moment, and appreciated the brief summary of accelerators and breaks included in Luscombe's book.The only section that I personally didn't find to be helpful was "Family" because it was focused on raising children, which thus far, my husband and I have continued to choose to not have. I think one of the pieces that should have been included in this section is parents as establishing communication about expectations in handling aging parents is also a big component of many marriages, if not to the same degree of complications as raising children. The familiarity section was probably the one that held the most new material for me, or rather I may have felt more attuned to the idea as my husband and I have been in a relationship since I was 19 years old, and of the almost 15 years we've been together we've been married for six of those years, which means we're definitely living in some familiar territory and could benefit from tools to best navigate this familiarity. Overall I think this book could be a great book to give newlyweds to help set some expectations, and to help build the idea that it's better to do the maintenance work along the course of the partnership than to have to go and seek outside help once everything has gone wrong.
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  • Karen
    January 1, 1970
    I am a big fan of reading about marriage (and other topics) while things are going well. I feel like at moments like these, I am open to learning and receiving because I am not constantly triggered by what I might be upset about. So all potential ideas feel like options I can try out and use to strengthen my marriage. This book has both anecdotal stories and academic research and statistics. I would say that if your marriage is in trouble and you're reading this book for ideas, the tone might th I am a big fan of reading about marriage (and other topics) while things are going well. I feel like at moments like these, I am open to learning and receiving because I am not constantly triggered by what I might be upset about. So all potential ideas feel like options I can try out and use to strengthen my marriage. This book has both anecdotal stories and academic research and statistics. I would say that if your marriage is in trouble and you're reading this book for ideas, the tone might throw you off a bit. It's funny and jokey, not in a bad way but it might rub you the wrong way if you're hurting or angry. For me, I enjoyed this reminder of several different areas to pay attention to in my marriage and to always keep working on it.
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  • Vlad
    January 1, 1970
    Hilarious, frank, reasonable. A bit broad, splashing about in the shallows rather than going deep on any one of its topics, from sex to child-rearing to arguing well. Good survey.
  • Kristine
    January 1, 1970
    Marriageology by Belinda Luscombe is a free NetGalley ebook that I read in mid-May.I had chosen to read this book while being in a long-term relationship after a divorce from my first husband eight years ago, so I have a touch-and-go history with being in a serious, monogamous partnership. This book brings up topics and concepts, like questioning yourself and admitting guilt & weakness at the end of a relationship, only to have to build up another from the very beginning, committing strongly Marriageology by Belinda Luscombe is a free NetGalley ebook that I read in mid-May.I had chosen to read this book while being in a long-term relationship after a divorce from my first husband eight years ago, so I have a touch-and-go history with being in a serious, monogamous partnership. This book brings up topics and concepts, like questioning yourself and admitting guilt & weakness at the end of a relationship, only to have to build up another from the very beginning, committing strongly to an informed choice, and seeking permanency amid a world that changes quickly and hangs onto things for only a short while. Luscombe draws research from ten years writing about marriage for Time magazine - this leads to nuggets to sociological truths buried under heaps of down-to-earth prattle and a pun, sarcasm, motto, or punchline every few sentences.
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  • Jacquelyne
    January 1, 1970
    This book is solidly sourced with evidence-based research, but it isn't dry by any means. Luscombe has a great sense of humor that had me nodding my head and chuckling throughout the book. She helps break down the fault lines in a six-part alliteration that is easy to follow. I appreciated the marriage of a sociological and therapeutic approach, as well as her personal anecdotes relating the science to her her marriage, which helped tie in the research and advice to real life examples. Her crede This book is solidly sourced with evidence-based research, but it isn't dry by any means. Luscombe has a great sense of humor that had me nodding my head and chuckling throughout the book. She helps break down the fault lines in a six-part alliteration that is easy to follow. I appreciated the marriage of a sociological and therapeutic approach, as well as her personal anecdotes relating the science to her her marriage, which helped tie in the research and advice to real life examples. Her credentials speak for themselves and allow you as a reader to relax into the material trusting the advice is coming from a true expert, and Luscombe, I'm totally on your side about Armstrong![I received an Advanced Readers Copy from Random House Publishing for my honest review.]
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  • Crystal
    January 1, 1970
    I'm not really one to read self help type books, but I saw this book and thought, why not give it a try. I sure am happy that I did! This book is written in a way that makes it both informative (with statistics and research) and also relate-able (with personal admissions and stories from the author). I feel like this book also offers some great tips and advice on how to achieve a happier union (which who doesn't want that!).
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  • Jt O'Neill
    January 1, 1970
    It's funny. When my spouse and I first got together a generation plus ago, we'd both had plenty of life experience. We both had graduate degrees, had worked successfully in our chosen fields, and had had romances and adventures. We considered ourselves people savvy. In retrospect, we were pretty cocky, thinking we knew how this whole marriage business was going to go. How bold and brave we were! In the introduction to Marriageology, Belinda Luscombe astutely points out the absurdity of how our c It's funny. When my spouse and I first got together a generation plus ago, we'd both had plenty of life experience. We both had graduate degrees, had worked successfully in our chosen fields, and had had romances and adventures. We considered ourselves people savvy. In retrospect, we were pretty cocky, thinking we knew how this whole marriage business was going to go. How bold and brave we were! In the introduction to Marriageology, Belinda Luscombe astutely points out the absurdity of how our culture celebrates marriage. There are all these special and exciting traditions for the early years of marriage but they taper off at 15 years where the gift is crystal, and then china at 20 yrs, and pearls at 30 years (which likely means that a man in the relationship does the giving and not the receiving). As Belinda says, this is all turned around. Any fool can be married for a year and you can get to three years on the fumes of the honeymoon alone. The marriage is challenged in those years when the wedding day memories are all stashed behind the kids' whining, the emails and calls from the bosses, childcare fails, the spouse's incessantly loud chewing, the financial failures and disagreements, the pressure from in-laws and the opinions from family -- when the wedding day excitement has tempered and the daily life has taken over. The thing is you just can't know this part of life. You haven't been there yet. Like my spouse and I, you might think you can plan a wedding and keep that wonderful, excited feeling that you have found a friend for life. At that point you are walking mostly on air and assuming that the climate will not change. But, guess what? Everything changes. Life changes people and certainly marriage changes people. You just can't know at the beginning how those changes are going to go. You haven't had this experience with this partner. No matter what your experience has been, no matter how well intentioned, I guarantee you things will change. It's how you deal with the change that will make all the difference in the marriage.I enjoyed reading Marriageology. Belinda's book is well researched and documented and could read like a textbook. Instead, though, it reads like a good friend, someone who is sitting with you over margaritas and nachos. She has important things to say but they come encased in warmth and a sense of humor. She's been there and she is willing to tell her stories too. I'd recommend this book to anyone who is married or even thinking of getting married. I like that Belinda believes in marriage. That is not to say that she is down on divorce but more to say that her hope and faith in the institution shine through. Toward the end she draws a comparison to a carousel: "What we often need [to sustain a marriage] is a carousel mentality; sometimes your horse is down, but if you wait awhile, it will rise again." Kudos to Belinda Luscombe for writing an authentic, often humorous, down to earth, and well researched book on a tough topic. 5 stars
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  • Leah Hester
    January 1, 1970
    Got the audiobook on Audible, and deeply enjoyed the book and its authors fun, interesting take on marriage, how its changed, and how to make it last. I'm probably still considered a newlywed by most people (at the time of reading, I've been married for two and a half years) and I come from a family with a lot of divorcees. It's literally always felt like my job to have a damn good marriage lol. Luscombe is fantastically entertaining while also sharing real situations that spouses go through and Got the audiobook on Audible, and deeply enjoyed the book and its authors fun, interesting take on marriage, how its changed, and how to make it last. I'm probably still considered a newlywed by most people (at the time of reading, I've been married for two and a half years) and I come from a family with a lot of divorcees. It's literally always felt like my job to have a damn good marriage lol. Luscombe is fantastically entertaining while also sharing real situations that spouses go through and the research behind why those situations happen, as well as the best tools to fix them, or potentially recover from them. I listened to this super quick, and plan to incorporate some of her tools. She notes, and I will also note, that this is not a source for therapy help, but gives advice and tools for, largely, keeping communication up in the changing and unique relationship that is a long term marriage. This was entertaining, insightful, and thought-provoking, and I recommend for anyone who is married, wants to get married, or isn't married but just wants to learn about marriage in a fun, interesting way. I highly recommend the audio version, as the author herself gives the reading in the best possible way.
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  • Nate Hawthorne
    January 1, 1970
    3.5 stars. Not that my marriage is in trouble, but it is good to have strategies to make sure nothing bad happens. It is pretty straightforward and common sense. The chapter about fighting gave insight on the reasons we defend our positions. Told in an accessible and humorous way, there is something for everyone to relate to.
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  • Bryan Summers
    January 1, 1970
    Good advice. Fascinating stuff. I can't wait for my wife to read it. I think she will like it a lot.
  • John Hewitt II
    January 1, 1970
    Good book for all couples to read wherever they are on their marriage journey
  • Nandini
    January 1, 1970
    Breezy read but has several nuggets of wisdom.
  • PWRL
    January 1, 1970
    SM
  • Erica Albert
    January 1, 1970
    More talk of sex than I expected, but that isn’t a negative comment.
  • Musi Salerno
    January 1, 1970
    Enjoyed the science and fact based evidence of it! Easy to read and easier to spot things we’ve already done and how to change them!
  • booksandcarbs
    January 1, 1970
    This isn’t really an advice book — more an engaging overview of an important topic (maintaining a healthy, happy marriage) — I enjoyed the combination of research and anecdote!
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