The Thief Who Went To War (Amra Thetys, #5)
Don't get noticed.That's the first thing the world taught me about survival. When I was very young, and my father was very drunk, I'd hide, silent and still, in the muck under the shack we inhabited. There I listened to his stone fists pummel my mother. He would not have pulled his punches for me; he barely did when he was sober. I wouldn't have survived him in a drunken rage.My mother didn't either, in the end.He didn't notice me that last night, until I slammed the scaling knife into his back, once I’d decided to be silent, but no longer still.When I was a little less young, stealing on the streets of Bellarius, I learned how to slip through crowds unnoticed, dipping pockets and pilfering stalls and shops. Getting caught meant a beating at the very least, and being beaten to death by an angry mob if my luck was completely out. I learned to be a shadow and a whisper.And then the Purge began.They hunted us gutter children down, death squads backed by an archmage. All my hard-won expertise at skulking stealth, at passing unnoticed was a shabby joke in the face of that. One night, chased by Blacksleeves through the alleys and across the rooftops of the Girdle, my luck finally ran out.The big scar, the one that nearly took my left eye, was from a wild swing of the Blackseeve's dirk that I just wasn't quick enough to dodge. The others that he put on my face as he sat on my chest were according to some pattern only he understood.He didn't notice me get an arm free. He didn't notice me get my hand on the little stiletto I kept strapped to my thigh. He was too engrossed in what he was doing to my face.He noticed when I opened up his neck, though.That's when the world taught me the second thing: Sometimes you can't hide. Eventually you get noticed. Then you have to run. So I stowed away on a ship bound for, I found out when we reached it, Lucernis.Now, a half-dozen splinters of a mad goddess are after me. I can't hide from them, and they'll catch up to me, sooner or later, wherever I run.But I know what to do when you can't run, and you can't hide. The world didn't teach it to me. I discovered it inside me a long, long time ago. When you can't run and you can't hide, when something relentless and unstoppable is hunting you, when something is destroying the people and the things you care about, you stick a blade in it.And then you watch it bleed out, to make sure it's well and truly dead.I never wanted a war. Maybe I have no chance. But I've always been outnumbered and overpowered, and if the Eightfold Bitch's Blades think they'll have me, then by all the dead gods, I have only one thing to say to them:Not if I get you first.

The Thief Who Went To War (Amra Thetys, #5) Details

TitleThe Thief Who Went To War (Amra Thetys, #5)
Author
LanguageEnglish
ReleaseAug 10th, 2019
Rating
GenreFantasy

The Thief Who Went To War (Amra Thetys, #5) Review

  • ✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)
    January 1, 1970
    Actual rating: 8 stars. Most despicable rating ever, I know, but this is only my first read and stuff. Expect 12+ stars (or worse) after the next one and stuff.So. I already said this in my Craptastically Craptastic Pre-Review (CCPR™), but it never hurts to copy-paste rehash and stuff, so here goes and stuff: I waited FOUR YEARS for this book to be released. FOUR YEARS. And, bloody shrimping hell of the stinking fish, was it WORTH IT. Now let’s dance for a bit.(Oh, and by the way, in case you we Actual rating: 8 stars. Most despicable rating ever, I know, but this is only my first read and stuff. Expect 12+ stars (or worse) after the next one and stuff.So. I already said this in my Craptastically Craptastic Pre-Review (CCPR™), but it never hurts to copy-paste rehash and stuff, so here goes and stuff: I waited FOUR YEARS for this book to be released. FOUR YEARS. And, bloody shrimping hell of the stinking fish, was it WORTH IT. Now let’s dance for a bit.(Oh, and by the way, in case you were wondering: yes, I did threaten to unleash my murderous children on Mr McClung so that he would release the book sooner. Multiple times. It obviously didn’t help. Goes to show what a tough, resilient puny human he is. I’m beginning to think the man’s got some Amra blood flowing in his puny little human veins and stuff.)Now I’m most certainly not dreadfully sorry and stuff, but it turns out I can’t tell you much about my girlfriend Amra’s latest and mostest awesomest adventure because this is book #5 in the series and stuff so spoiler spoiler spoiler and stuff. Thank thee kindly for your comprehension and stuff. What I can indeed tell you about this (slightly very good) series in general and this (passably a little enjoyable) instalment in particular is: It’s nothing like anything you’ve ever read before in the entirety of your entire life. I kid you not. Because it’s a Super Extra Original World (SEOW™). Because the characters are yummilicious as fish (three High Security Harem tenants in the same series! This is pretty much unheard of, my Little Barnacles), and their interactions more exquisitely delicious than freshly roasted peanuts newborn babes. Because lots of people are killed deadly dead (which is always a plus, if you ask me). And also because non-stop action and twists and creative plots fast-paced enough to keep ADHD-prone decapods on acid engaged from beginning to end. The truthful truth this is.No, thou art not dreaming, this really is an ADHD-prone decapod on acid. Wearing a cat costume. And doing a flip-flop dance.Anything else? Why HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, of course. Those dialogues (view spoiler)[HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (hide spoiler)]. And let’s not forget dear Chuckles, aka everyone’s dream BFF (no idea who dear Chuckles is? How sad. Your life really sucks, doesn’t it?). Not to mention Amra’s scrumpalicious inner monologue. And Amra’s by now legendary pugnacity. And Amra’s by now legendary stubbornness. Amra’s by now legendary endurance. And, last but certainly not least, Amra’s by now most legendary, abundantly generous use of delightful obscenities (she makes Kara Gillian proud). Anyhoo and stuff, what I’m desperately so efficiently trying to say is that everything Amra…Forget the “almost” part. There’s nothing “almost” about this. Obviously.➽ Nefarious Last Words (NLW™): WHY THE BLOODY SHRIMP OF THE STINKING FISH ARE YOU PEOPLE NOT READING THIS SERIES? ARE YOU SUICIDAL? DO YOU WANT ME TO UNLEASH MY HOMICIDAL KIDS ON YOU OR SOMETHING? Just wondering.➽ More Nefarious Last Words (MNLW™): I don’t care if it takes Michael McClung another 150 years to write the next instalment, if it means it is half a quarter as good as this one. I’ll wait. A little.P.S. This instalment suffers from a despicable and most intolerable shortage of my boyfriend Holgren Angrado. Needless to say, I am not very pleased and stuff. But. Given that Mr McClung was gracious enough to provide us with a cameo appearance by my wonderfully cranky boyfriend Lhiewyn (aka the “grumpy, crusty old fart”), I might decide to forgive this revolting, Holgren-Lite state of affairs. Maybe. (view spoiler)[Hahahahahaha. Just kidding. Fleet Admiral DaShrimp, unleash the shrimps on this inconsiderate little human at once! (hide spoiler)]• Book 1: The Thief Who Pulled on Trouble's Braids ★★★★★• Book 2: The Thief Who Spat in Luck's Good Eye ★★★★★• Book 3: The Thief Who Knocked on Sorrow's Gate ★★★★★• Book 4: The Thief Who Wasn't There ★★★★★• Short stories: The Last God ★★★★★[Pre-review nonsense]I waited FOUR YEARS for this book to be released. FOUR YEARS. And, bloody shrimping hell of the stinking fish, was it WORTH IT.Amra Thetys, you hilariously foul-mouthed thief-turned-spoiler spoiler spoiler, I 💕lurves💕 thee. And Michael McClung, you writer of not-so-crappy stories, I like you. A little.➽ Not-so-full review to come and stuff.June 11, 2019: we have a release date and stuff!!!!!!!!! It's August 10, 2019 and stuff!!!!! And the book is available for pre-order and stuff!!!!!!! One-Click Button here I come and stuff!!! And to hell with scantily-clad blondes in distress and stuff!!!![February 2018]Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! My girlfriend Amra Thetys is finally coming back!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I'm not excited in the least. Nope nope nope. Not me. Absolutely not. P.S. I really couldn't care less about this book. Seriously. I mean, this is just one of my favorite series ever, and I've only been waiting for this instalment to be released for three bloody shrimping years. Why would I be ever so slightly hysterical enthusiastic about it, I ask you? No reason, really. So please don't waste your time waiting for me to start hyperventilating over this. Who do you take me for, anyway? A neurotic 13-year-old fangirl on acid or something? Please don't insult me, my Little Barnacles. That kind of desperate, pathetic behavior is obviously beneath me. So move along, these aren't the droids you're looking for, nothing to see and stuff.(view spoiler)[ (hide spoiler)]
    more
  • kartik narayanan
    January 1, 1970
    I like Amra Thetys and the entire series so far. This book is enjoyable too but it didn't grip me the way the others did. If you are a fan, then definitely read this book. Others might find it average.
  • Jason M Waltz
    January 1, 1970
    Headlong fun, with a harsher biteMcClung and Amra and Holgren (and Kluge and even L--, well that cranky old priest (it's hard to recall how to spell his name,ok?)) are back in force. And good force too. No bones about it, this is Amra's tale and she definitely tells it. There's lots of knives, vulgarities, sorceries, toughs, deaths, mysteries, and layers upon layers of plots. That's all for the good. There's also a darker tone, a harsher vibe, to this book, one McClung's afterword sheds a little Headlong fun, with a harsher biteMcClung and Amra and Holgren (and Kluge and even L--, well that cranky old priest (it's hard to recall how to spell his name,ok?)) are back in force. And good force too. No bones about it, this is Amra's tale and she definitely tells it. There's lots of knives, vulgarities, sorceries, toughs, deaths, mysteries, and layers upon layers of plots. That's all for the good. There's also a darker tone, a harsher vibe, to this book, one McClung's afterword sheds a little light upon. Overall it's not bad, but it can be disconcerting at times; to the point I might not be as large an Amra fan if this had been her story I'd read first. It's subtle, but it weaves its way throughout the telling and living of Amra's adventures and sacrifices, much like a dancing blade can slither and slide through candlelight before anyone's the wiser of the numerous slices it's left behind. Read it; enjoy it. Just go into it fully aware of its dangers.
    more
  • Michelle
    January 1, 1970
    The 5th in the Amra Thetys series has a LOT of action. More than I remember other ones having, but maybe it was because she is on her own for much of it, so there is no foil. But she's so scrappy and determined that I loved it despite the bruising she gets in fighting the Blades AND the fact that we barely see Holgren. It definitely sets us up for more in the series, but not in a cliffhanger way. Mr McClung, please never stop! Everyone else- read this fun series!
    more
  • Carrie D. Miller
    January 1, 1970
    The long-awaited 5th installment of the Amra Thetys series did not disappoint! Filled with on-the-run action and adventure, Amra is even more belligerent and stubborn this round (can you blame her??), and in many places I laughed out loud. McClung's writing is fluid and witty; he paints a sharp picture with every scene. I did find myself thinking that I should stop reading and go back and re-read #4, which I might do anyway just 'cuz. I can't wait for #6!
    more
  • L
    January 1, 1970
    Buckle up because this is a wild wild ride.There are unforseen twists and turns and I was completely blindsided by the ending. Smart, funny and totally absorbing.
  • ERIS R
    January 1, 1970
    Thanks for persevering MichaelThanks for another great chapter in Amra's story. It was worth the wait and I'm looking forward to the next five knives going down, and the Netflix or Amazon adaption too. Your series is a genuine delight.
  • Jon
    January 1, 1970
    Good lord I love this man's writing. Truth in advertising, I'm part of Michael's beta reading group but, that being said, I became a part after he won the first SPFBO contest put on by author Mark Lawrence. His books are just that good. In this installment we catch up with Amra, fresh from recuperating from her trials in the previous book. Returning to her old home, things naturally go sideways and mayhem and destruction follow in her wake. (Seriously, at this point cities should pay her to just Good lord I love this man's writing. Truth in advertising, I'm part of Michael's beta reading group but, that being said, I became a part after he won the first SPFBO contest put on by author Mark Lawrence. His books are just that good. In this installment we catch up with Amra, fresh from recuperating from her trials in the previous book. Returning to her old home, things naturally go sideways and mayhem and destruction follow in her wake. (Seriously, at this point cities should pay her to just stay away. It'd be a worthy investment.) Mcclung continues to develop the lore surrounding the various knives, and a few of our supporting cast show up to be splattered by various Amra-related shrapnel. Michael excels at telling stories at a breakneck pace, full of witty banter and furious action, and this one is yet another example of that talent. If you haven't read the series yet, do so now. That way you'll be ready when Amra goes to war.
    more
  • Adam
    January 1, 1970
    Worth the wait. Had to go back to the last book and skim to remind myself where things left off, but I'm glad I did. This one was no less fun or clever than the rest. Amra and Holgren are always a good pair, plain dirty fun and nonstop action. I do wish it had been a bit longer, but not so much that I was disappointed by the content. Looking forward to the rest of the series, and best of luck to Mike in his pursuits!
    more
  • Derrill Guilbert
    January 1, 1970
    Worth the waitI got into the Amra books just like a year or two ago, so I haven't had to wait as long as others.Here's to hoping the next one rolls out faster ... But I'd wait GRRM time for the next of I had to.As an aside, I would bet a lot of money Mr. McClung is a fan of Vlad Taltos.
    more
  • Joanne Watkins USA
    January 1, 1970
    Repetitive This was a bit too confusing and repetitive. Amra stumbling around not having a clue lurching from one violent crisis to another became tedious. Her getting beaten up and people killed was frustrating not intriguing. I stuck with it as I was hoping to find out what happened but overall disappointing.
    more
  • Kevin O'Malley
    January 1, 1970
    About God damn time. Anyway, 5 th book. Good stuff.I assume you read the other 5, we all missed Amra Thetys. She has returned and we can all hope it won't be that long until she returns again.
  • Jeffery Clark
    January 1, 1970
    Amra Thetys returns.It was worth the wait. If circumstances demand, I am certain the books to follow will be worth it as well.
  • Melinda
    January 1, 1970
    Loving this series. The writing and world building are amazing....and the two MC are utterly delightful to “watch”
Write a review