The Path Between Us
Most of us have no idea how others see or process their experiences. And that can make relationships hard, whether with intimate partners, with friends, or in our professional lives. Understanding the motivations and dynamics of these different personality types can be the key that unlocks sometimes mystifying behavior in others—and in ourselves.This book from Suzanne Stabile on the nine Enneagram types and how they behave and experience relationships will guide readers into deeper insights about themselves, their types, and others’ personalities so that they can have healthier, more life-giving relationships. No one is better equipped than the coauthor of The Road Back to You to share the Enneagram’s wisdom on how relationships work—or don’t.- Why do Sixes seem so intimidated and put off by Eights, who only wish the Sixes would stop mulling things over and take action?- Why do Fives seem so unavailable, even to their closest family and friends, while Twos seem to feel everybody else’s feelings but their own and end up irritating people who don’t want their help?- How in the world can Fours be so open and loving to you one day and restrained and distant other times?The Enneagram not only answers these questions but gives us a way out of our usual finger pointing and judging of other people—and finding them wanting, perplexing, or impossible. Suzanne’s generous, sometimes humorous, and always insightful approach reveals why all the types behave as they do. This book offers help in fostering more loving, mature, and compassionate relationships with everyone in our lives.

The Path Between Us Details

TitleThe Path Between Us
Author
LanguageEnglish
ReleaseApr 1st, 2018
PublisherInterVarsity Press
Rating
GenreNonfiction, Religion, Relationships, Christianity

The Path Between Us Review

  • Rachel
    January 1, 1970
    Certainly a helpful supplement, but not the place to start if you've never heard of the Enneagram. There's a lot of great stuff here, though I would have liked a little more information in each chapter. When you only have a brief description for each, I think it starts to become more of a stereotypical picture of each number.
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  • Bob
    January 1, 1970
    Summary: Using the tool of the Enneagram, this explores how each "number" interacts with the other numbers, how each number relates in stress, and security, and what is helpful for other "numbers" to understand about relating to a person with this number.In The Road Back to You, (review) Suzanne Stabile and her co-author Ian Cron give one of the most accessible explanations of the Enneagram that I have read. In this sequel, Suzanne Stabile builds on the insights of how each of the nine "numbers" Summary: Using the tool of the Enneagram, this explores how each "number" interacts with the other numbers, how each number relates in stress, and security, and what is helpful for other "numbers" to understand about relating to a person with this number.In The Road Back to You, (review) Suzanne Stabile and her co-author Ian Cron give one of the most accessible explanations of the Enneagram that I have read. In this sequel, Suzanne Stabile builds on the insights of how each of the nine "numbers" on the Enneagram views and engages with the world uniquely and how this shapes the ways we build and maintain relationships with others, both those who share our "number" and those who differ (Enneagram types are summarized by the number for that type).She begins by reviewing briefly the different numbers, the different Triads (Gut - 8, 9, 1; Heart - 2, 3, 4; Head - 5, 6, 7), the Wings (adjacent numbers to ours), and our Stress and Security numbers (those whose qualities we may draw on when we are under stress or feeling secure) and the three Stances (Aggressive - 3, 7, 8; Dependent - 1, 2, 6; and Withdrawing - 4, 5, 9). These are elaborated much more fully in The Road Back to You but also covered in the context of relationships in the following chapters.Before discussing relationships for each number, Stabile offers very helpful advice for those concerned about the misuse of the Enneagram:"First, please don't use your Enneagram number as an excuse for your behavior. Second, don't use what you've learned about the other numbers to make fun of, criticize, or stereotype, or in any way disrespect them. Ever. Third, it would be great if you would spend your energy observing and working on yourself as opposed to observing and working on others. And going forward, I hope you will share my desire that we all grow in our ability to accept, love, and walk beside one another on the path with loads of compassion and respect" (p. 13).The next nine chapters are devoted to looking at each number beginning with Eights (the Gut Triad). Each chapter begins with a story of an interaction involving a person with the number being considered. This is followed by a description of the world of this number, how they respond in relationships under stress and security, and the path together with this number. A sidebar in each chapter considers relationships between this number and each of the other numbers, including those sharing the same number. The chapter concludes with two summaries, one focused on key things a person with this number need to remember that they can, and can't do in relationships and what they need to accept; and one focused on what others need to keep in mind in their relationships with a person with this number.I found this book extremely helpful both for self-understanding, and understanding the ways I relate with others. In my case, I'm a five. I value competence that comes through knowing, independence, privacy, and guarding my energies. I listen and observe well, but I'm not always good at communicating my feelings. Instead, I will tell you what I think. I learned that I'm not always good at picking up innuendo or indirect communication (true). Being laid up for a couple of months at the end of 2016 told me how hard it is for me to let others care for me, and the truth that the best way to live is neither dependent nor independent, but interdependent. Stabile's title for my number really fit: "My Fences Have Gates."One critique I would offer of this book is that it assumes that a person knows their Enneagram number and doesn't give much direction to the person who does not. There is a resource advertised at the end of the book on knowing your number but little guidance given about how one may go about discerning this. Stabile has been trained by Fr. Richard Rohr, whose approach is that one discerns one's number as one reads the different types and finds one that makes you uncomfortably squeamish, saying "how did you know that about me?" That one is probably yours.I know there are some who are critical of the Enneagram. I won't try to defend this tool, except to say it has been useful for me and those I work with. Those who work with the Enneagram often like to say that the purpose of the Enneagram is not to put us in a box, but rather to help us understand the box we are in. Often, I'm tripped up by the things I don't understand about myself. As I grow in self-understanding this opens up new dimensions in relationships with both people and God, and frees me to more skillfully use my gifts and pursue the things I care about. Only Jesus fully knows me, and can form me to be the person he envisions, both fully who I am, and in his image. The Enneagram has been one way among many he has used in this process. Stabile's work is a great introduction to this way, this tool.The Path Between Us Study Guide is a companion guide for both individuals and groups who want to pursue this material further. The six studies are titled:1. The Best Part of You Is the Worst Part of You2. What We Want3. What We Fear4. What We Offer5. Keeping Each Other Forgiven and Free6. Ways to Help Ourselves and OthersThere is a section for those facilitating group discussions with a plan for each session. I have not used this guide so I cannot evaluate it. It appears that it can be used independently of reading the book, though I'm sure the book content will enrich discussions and insights.The author has also recorded eight short YouTube clips accessible via the publisher's website or through this link. I have to confess that the author photo gave me the impression of a stern school principal, an impression immediately dispelled in listening to her on the videos!Stabile's book and accompanying guide are the best resources I've seen for extending the framework of the Enneagram to our relationships and giving practical insights for relationships between the different numbers. As she has written, we all probably have much room to "grow in our ability to accept, love, and walk beside one another on the path with loads of compassion and respect." In her work, we have a wise and gracious guide for the journey.____________________________Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary review copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
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  • Heidi
    January 1, 1970
    Suzanne Stabile's new book, The Path Between Us, is a much needed followup to her joint book with Ian Cron, The Road Back to You. Stabile's, The Path Between Us, helps readers authentically apply the enneagram to the complex relationships in their lives-- whether personal or professional. Her writing continues to be easily accessible and yet this easy style never compromises the intellectual content or depth of her observations. Stabile confidently draws on her own life's work and practice with Suzanne Stabile's new book, The Path Between Us, is a much needed followup to her joint book with Ian Cron, The Road Back to You. Stabile's, The Path Between Us, helps readers authentically apply the enneagram to the complex relationships in their lives-- whether personal or professional. Her writing continues to be easily accessible and yet this easy style never compromises the intellectual content or depth of her observations. Stabile confidently draws on her own life's work and practice with the enneagram to engage and support readers on their own journey. This is a must read for any student (new or not so new) of the enneagram and I eagerly anticipate Stabile's book tour and future writing projects.
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  • L
    January 1, 1970
    Stabile provides some really good examples of the Enneagram approach to self-awareness- she and I are both Twos, so I really enjoyed her personal anecdotes - From the publisher: Most of us have no idea how others see or process their experiences. And that can make relationships hard, whether with intimate partners, with friends, or in our professional lives. Understanding the motivations and dynamics of these different personality types can be the key that unlocks sometimes mystifying behavior i Stabile provides some really good examples of the Enneagram approach to self-awareness- she and I are both Twos, so I really enjoyed her personal anecdotes - From the publisher: Most of us have no idea how others see or process their experiences. And that can make relationships hard, whether with intimate partners, with friends, or in our professional lives. Understanding the motivations and dynamics of these different personality types can be the key that unlocks sometimes mystifying behavior in others—and in ourselves. This book from Suzanne Stabile on the nine Enneagram types and how they behave and experience relationships will guide readers into deeper insights about themselves, their types, and others’ personalities so that they can have healthier, more life-giving relationships. No one is better equipped than the coauthor of The Road Back to You to share the Enneagram’s wisdom on how relationships work—or don’t. Examples: - Why do Sixes seem so intimidated and put off by Eights, who only wish the Sixes would stop mulling things over and take action?- Why do Fives seem so unavailable, even to their closest family and friends, while Twos seem to feel everybody else’s feelings but their own and end up irritating people who don’t want their help?- How in the world can Fours be so open and loving to you one day and restrained and distant other times?The Enneagram not only answers these questions but gives us a way out of our usual finger pointing and judging of other people—and finding them wanting, perplexing, or impossible. Suzanne’s generous, sometimes humorous, and always insightful approach reveals why all the types behave as they do. This book offers help in fostering more loving, mature, and compassionate relationships with everyone in our lives.
    more
  • Y.S. Stephen
    January 1, 1970
    The Path Between Us is a relationship guide based on the enneagram. For those who have never heard of enneagram, it is an equivalent of Myer-Briggs personality test, albeit with a spiritual background and more complexity.WHO WOULD ENJOY ITPeople with a love of Myer-Briggs types should be curious about enneagram and how this can work in relationships of all kinds.WHAT I LOVE ABOUT ITThe flexibility of interpretation that takes into account the complexity of humans is a pull for me. Moreso, the a The Path Between Us is a relationship guide based on the enneagram. For those who have never heard of enneagram, it is an equivalent of Myer-Briggs personality test, albeit with a spiritual background and more complexity.WHO WOULD ENJOY ITPeople with a love of Myer-Briggs types should be curious about enneagram and how this can work in relationships of all kinds.WHAT I LOVE ABOUT ITThe flexibility of interpretation that takes into account the complexity of humans is a pull for me. Moreso, the authroseems to know her subject very well and brings her experience to bear on how we can use this tool to enhance our relationships at work, home, and the way we see ourselves.......The Path Between Us: An Enneagram Journey to Healthy Relationships by Suzanne Stabile is available to buy from on all major online bookstores. Many thanks to InterVarsity Press for review copy.http://www.ysstephen.com/2018/03/revi...
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  • Rachel
    January 1, 1970
    YES! I loved this book. This is a great tool for anyone who already has a working knowledge of the enneagram and wants to go deeper in order to improve their relationships. The enneagram has been an essential tool for personal awareness and spiritual growth for me. My husband and I have already used the knowledge and insight we've gained from the enneagram to learn to better relate to and love each other. Knowing that I am a type 4 and he is a 9 has helped us learn to extend compassion and grace YES! I loved this book. This is a great tool for anyone who already has a working knowledge of the enneagram and wants to go deeper in order to improve their relationships. The enneagram has been an essential tool for personal awareness and spiritual growth for me. My husband and I have already used the knowledge and insight we've gained from the enneagram to learn to better relate to and love each other. Knowing that I am a type 4 and he is a 9 has helped us learn to extend compassion and grace to each other while also pushing each other to grow and improve our relationship. This book has already sparked conversation and given us even more tools to discuss our individual strengths and the subsequent brokenness that we bring to our marriage. I love Suzanne's simple and relatable way of communicating what can be complex and heavy insight.
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  • Daniel
    January 1, 1970
    I love the Enneagram, and I love how Stabile teaches the Enneagram, so predictably, I loved this book. It's a followup to her introductory book on the Enneagram that focuses on how different numbers approach relationship. To me, that's actually the most useful part of the Enneagram, even more than understanding yourself, so I appreciated it. Very little of it will make sense if you haven't read her previous book, or are already familiar with the Enneagram, but if you have, it's super useful.It's I love the Enneagram, and I love how Stabile teaches the Enneagram, so predictably, I loved this book. It's a followup to her introductory book on the Enneagram that focuses on how different numbers approach relationship. To me, that's actually the most useful part of the Enneagram, even more than understanding yourself, so I appreciated it. Very little of it will make sense if you haven't read her previous book, or are already familiar with the Enneagram, but if you have, it's super useful.It's almost funny how much I'm a stereotypical 5. Every time I read any description of a 5, I nod in recognition. It's uncanny.
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  • Emily
    January 1, 1970
    *I was provided a free copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review*The Path Between Us is a really important addition to this space of growing enneagram resources. The enneagram is a personality tool to help excavate through brokenness to reveal the good stuff. In the follow up book to Road Back to You, Suzanne covers how the the enneagram affects relationships. Suzanne does a great job approaching the topic very conversational. It is broken down into simple easy understand stories and *I was provided a free copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review*The Path Between Us is a really important addition to this space of growing enneagram resources. The enneagram is a personality tool to help excavate through brokenness to reveal the good stuff. In the follow up book to Road Back to You, Suzanne covers how the the enneagram affects relationships. Suzanne does a great job approaching the topic very conversational. It is broken down into simple easy understand stories and applications. If someone is established in enneagram, this book would not provide a way to go deeper. But it serves as a great introductory post establishing your number.
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  • Daniel
    January 1, 1970
    My wife brought this back from a conference. The author uses the enneagram to discuss relationships between people. The enneagram is way of deepening understanding of one's self through the lens of the true and false self dividing people into 9 types or spaces within which people live out their true and false selves. Assuming a basic understanding of the enneagram Stabile has some helpful and practical insights into how understanding of the enneagram can better help us to engage others. Very hel My wife brought this back from a conference. The author uses the enneagram to discuss relationships between people. The enneagram is way of deepening understanding of one's self through the lens of the true and false self dividing people into 9 types or spaces within which people live out their true and false selves. Assuming a basic understanding of the enneagram Stabile has some helpful and practical insights into how understanding of the enneagram can better help us to engage others. Very helpful!
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  • Amanda Mintz
    January 1, 1970
    I’m SO thankful for Suzanne’s work on the Enneagram!!! While I found the first book, The Road Back to You, incredibly helpful for self-discovery and awareness, I found this one more relevant in helping me understand rather others than myself. Both books are mandatory reads for anyone interested in the Enneagram. A very helpful guide to understanding more deeply the closest people in my life and why we struggle or thrive in our relationships.
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  • Joy Matteson
    January 1, 1970
    This was an easy read for anyone new to the Enneagram. Most of us pick up personality type books to help us understand just our own type--this book focuses on how each of the 9 types interact with one another--a crucial component to understanding how we work, play, and love one another. Highly recommend!
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  • Melissa
    January 1, 1970
    3.5 stars - Overall a solid follow up to, The Road Back to You. Stabile specifically highlights how the Enneagram types interact with one another, along with how they compare and contrast. A great book for someone who is beginning to study the Enneagram, however, not profound or particularly deep with it's implications or analysis.
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  • Luke Roorda
    January 1, 1970
    If you’re only going to read one book about the Enneagram, read “The Road Back To You.” If you’re going to read two books on the Enneagram, then this is for sure the 2nd. Absolutely loved the insightful, thoughtful, and deep wisdom of Enneagram “Jedi Master” Suzanne Stabile. You’ll gobble this book up and be the better for it.
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  • Sarah Elizabeth
    January 1, 1970
    This book focuses on how different Enneagram types behave in relation to others. It was interesting and I enjoyed the stories used to illustrate the variety of characteristics the author wanted to convey.I received a digital ARC of this book from the publisher and NetGalley in exchange for my review.
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  • Hannah Reeves
    January 1, 1970
    I still am unsure what my enneagram number is but I really enjoyed this book and how it revealed different perspectives in relationships and gave better understanding to others. Interesting, quick, helpful read.
  • Jordan
    January 1, 1970
    An awesome follow up to The Road Back to You that highlights how the Enneagram types interact with one another, along with how they compare and contrast. A great book for someone who is beginning to learn about the Enneagram.
  • Kendra Stejskal
    January 1, 1970
    Loved this as much as I did the other enneagram book I just read by the same author. So helpful in trying to understand relationships and personality types!
  • Susan Walker
    January 1, 1970
    Basically this is a book about how to get along with people. It has some good advice.
  • Drew
    January 1, 1970
    Insightful and accessible. A great resource to cultivate halthy relationships.
  • Megan
    January 1, 1970
    The Path Between Us is a follow-up to Road Back to You, co-written with Ian Cron. If you're just starting to learn about the enneagram, start with that one, but then read Path Between Us to understand how different numbers relate to each other. This is a book I will absolutely purchase once published, as I know I will be going back to it frequently as a reference.
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  • Abigail
    January 1, 1970
    The Path Between Us is a helpful and fun book for those who have already been introduced to the enneagram and who know their enneagram type. Personally, my husband and I enjoyed reading through our two types together. At times, we could recognize ourselves in Suzanne's descriptions and then were able to identify ways to better relate to ourselves and to others. However, Suzanne offers highly generalized descriptions of the nine types and how they typically relate to one another. While this book The Path Between Us is a helpful and fun book for those who have already been introduced to the enneagram and who know their enneagram type. Personally, my husband and I enjoyed reading through our two types together. At times, we could recognize ourselves in Suzanne's descriptions and then were able to identify ways to better relate to ourselves and to others. However, Suzanne offers highly generalized descriptions of the nine types and how they typically relate to one another. While this book was a great tool to promote conversation, we felt that the descriptions of our types were hit or miss. If Suzanne had offered descriptions of each number with its various wings and the three instincts, the book would have been more helpful but also incredibly long.
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