But Not Up Here
Words about love, loss, grief, PTSD, and jokes with no punchline.Steps toward finding yourself and singing down the stars.* * *REVIEWS:"RoAnna Sylver's writing is magic and stardust on the sharpened edge of an ancient blade." - Alex Casso, author of THE SECRETS I KEEP"Sylver flawlessly reaches out and firmly grasps on to the emotions of their reader and drags them along for the painful, beautiful ride as they process the feelings they experience due to their lost love and the resulting grief." - Leah, SMALL QUEER, BIG OPINIONS"A moving collection of poems about grief and trauma, and I definitely recommend it. 5/5 stars." - Laura, LAURA + THE VOICES"These poems are beautiful, evocative and so full of meaning that you will need to read this over and over again." - Ceillie, CANDIDCEILLIE"This collection is dripping in raw emotion and beautiful language that has an almost lyrical quality to it. Sylver reaches deeper and takes their exploration of the craft further than some of their contemporaries which, at least for me, is a breath of fresh air. This was a privilege to read." - Maggie Derrick, MAGGIEDERRICK.COM"Reading this collection felt like I was reading a very personal diary, filled with thoughts that the character who has lost someone, is keeping to themselves. It’s a short read but I thought it was quite beautiful and it’ll give you a lot to think about." - Sinead, HUNTRESS OF DIVERSE BOOKS"It’s hauntingly lyrical, and absolutely not a collection to be read just once... invites you to wrap yourself in stardust and… not necessarily sing down the stars, as the description suggests, but sing yourself towards the stars, shining brightly along with them and dancing between them from glow to glow." - Lynn, BOOK TALK

But Not Up Here Details

TitleBut Not Up Here
Author
FormatKindle Edition
LanguageEnglish
ReleaseJul 1st, 2017
Number of pages28 pages
Rating
GenrePoetry

But Not Up Here Review

  • Laura (bbliophile)
    July 3, 2017
    But Not Up Here was a hauntingly beautiful read. The poems deal with very difficult topics like loss and grief, and it does it in a very beautiful, but very hard hitting and honest way. It’s raw, personal, but breathtaking and comforting at the same time. It’s a difficult read, for sure, but it’s a good one. One that I’d definitely recommend.It’s been a few weeks since I read the poetry collection and I still catch myself thinking about certain poems every so often. I really feel like they’ll st But Not Up Here was a hauntingly beautiful read. The poems deal with very difficult topics like loss and grief, and it does it in a very beautiful, but very hard hitting and honest way. It’s raw, personal, but breathtaking and comforting at the same time. It’s a difficult read, for sure, but it’s a good one. One that I’d definitely recommend.It’s been a few weeks since I read the poetry collection and I still catch myself thinking about certain poems every so often. I really feel like they’ll stay with me for a very, very long time.
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  • Marianne (Boricuan Bookworms)
    July 8, 2017
    WOAH. That's all I can say for now. 4.5 stars from me. Absolutely beautiful writing that I could have kept reading forever.
  • Alex Casso
    July 6, 2017
    Review to come <3 I mentioned this in my statuses, but Roanna's writing is truly magical, like stardust on the edge of an ancient blade (the best comparison). This collection is so important.
  • Leah
    June 19, 2017
    A quick, very touching read that I would recommend to all.Check out the full review on my blog!
  • Kelley Cantrell
    June 27, 2017
    This is beautiful, haunting, and it resonates with me more than I'd care to admit. Thank you for writing this.
  • Laura Likes Books
    June 23, 2017
    Hello everyone. I stopped my old GoodReads account years ago because it was such a time suck and I was in school and was losing sleep. But I've created a new account specifically to crosspost my review of this here because it's really that good. It's a beautiful collection and you should definitely read it. It lends itself to re-reading and sinking into each poem time and again as well as quick once-through surface reads to get to the raw emotion. So without further ado, this is the link to the Hello everyone. I stopped my old GoodReads account years ago because it was such a time suck and I was in school and was losing sleep. But I've created a new account specifically to crosspost my review of this here because it's really that good. It's a beautiful collection and you should definitely read it. It lends itself to re-reading and sinking into each poem time and again as well as quick once-through surface reads to get to the raw emotion. So without further ado, this is the link to the review on my blog: [http://lauraplusthevoices.blogspot.co...] Here's the full text of that review pasted below: -------For today's review, something a little different: a book of poetry! I don't review poetry often (or ever? not on this blog, anyway) but I do read it pretty regularly and I love poetry, so. When RoAnna Sylver, author of Chameleon Moon and generally cool indie writer person, asked if people were interested in ARC's of But Not Up Here to review, I was excited.But Not Up Here: poems about remembering in neon is a book of poems about grief, loss, and survival. It's a beautiful collection and, as a plus, the cover is gorgeous as well. The subtitle, "poems about remembering in neon," references one of the poems in which the speaker talks about Michelangelo's paintings. For years, the poem says, we thought he painted in drab and muted hues -- until art restoration and new technology revealed the bright colors he really used. The speaker of that poem says that anyone who looks at them would think their memories of the lost person are like his paintings -- drab, damaged by time, water (like tears), etc. But instead, "With you and me, / As with him and his rainbow-hidden centuries, / Our world was neon." Many of the poems, this one in particular, speak to trying to move on from a loss when memories are still fresh and seems like the lost person ought to be there. The rainbow is a recurring image; Michelangelo's centuries are "rainbow-hidden," the poems are sprinkled with bright colors and images, and at one particularly memorable point the speaker notices the rainbow in a slick of gasoline on a puddle. The clash between glorious color and descriptive imagery and the pain of grief and loss seems counterintuitive at first. We tend to associate death, grief, and loss with black and grey tones. But these images work within the collection to convey the overwhelming nature of sensations -- whether it's emotional sensations like denial and anger or sensory images bewildering the speaker as they try to deal with the fact that Earth can be beautiful and hold life and color even after they have experienced such a personal loss. The poems do not necessarily offer an answer for how to move on -- and in many cases, "moving on" and acceptance don't seem like a desirable goal. Rather, memory and letting the loss live and accepting what that does to someone emotionally are the focus of the poems. Towards the end, resolution comes about in several poems that focus on the future, on growth and incorporating loss into one's own survival. The book ends with the lines, "Years later, I can breathe. / And that is enough." The book is structured with five poems that are titled with the five stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance, each with a separate poem between them. Then there is a series of other poems that close out the work. Not everyone moves through the five stages in order, but they are both somewhat universal and yet, in this book, deeply personal as they explore the relationship between the speaker and the lost person and their particular circumstances. Sylver's style is breathless with long sentences, lines and sometimes paragraphs reaching to the edge of the page. This allows a lot of lyricism but also conveys a certain desperation to many of the poems. In other poems, the long lines and sentences make it feel more conversational, especially when the speaker is talking to the lost person. When the lines break up into shorter segments, it's more noticeable. Sylver also uses form with italic and bolded words. I liked this because the italicized and bolded words usually fit well with the rhythm of the line. It makes you think, why is this section italicized? You "say" the lines differently in your head when they are bold. I believe poetry should be read aloud, and these italicized and bolded words both let a reader know that they are being emphasized for some reason -- and let someone who is reading them aloud demarcate a difference in the way the words should be said. In addition to the beautiful imagery and style, much of this book is harsh. In terms of content, it deals with some tough topics. In terms of style, imagery, and words, it also veers towards harshness and pain when necessary. It is a moving collection of poems about grief and trauma, and I definitely recommend it. 5/5 stars.
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  • Sinead (Huntress of Diverse Books)
    July 25, 2017
    Check out my book blog for more book reviews and other bookish posts!RoAnna Sylver asked if some bloggers would be interested in reviewing her poetry collection. Since I am a fan of her Chameleon Moon series (here’s my review for book 1), I decided to request the arc.__This book is a collection of the thoughts and musings of a grieving person. It’s told in non-rhyming verse. The writing style is rather unusual for verse stories, as the lines are much longer than what I would have expected in a v Check out my book blog for more book reviews and other bookish posts!RoAnna Sylver asked if some bloggers would be interested in reviewing her poetry collection. Since I am a fan of her Chameleon Moon series (here’s my review for book 1), I decided to request the arc.__This book is a collection of the thoughts and musings of a grieving person. It’s told in non-rhyming verse. The writing style is rather unusual for verse stories, as the lines are much longer than what I would have expected in a verse novel. However, it still manages to convey the emotions onto the reader in the same manner. Several phrases are visualised differently, either in italics, in bold or put in brackets, which led me to think more about these words, thus I felt like I gained more understanding for the situation in which the narrator is.The metaphors and comparisons are very beautiful and strong, conveying the different emotions that the person has. There were 5 numbered sections, which are titled after the 5 main stages of grief (i.e. denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) and several other poems inserted either between these sections or after them. This was an intriguing way of visualising the grief that the narrator is going through.The poem that I found most beautiful was You can find anything on the internet these days, even yourself. The creative and different approach to the wolf and sheep comparison was amazing, and I liked how the words played with this comparison. I am surrounded by a few people who look down on online friendships and online communication, so this was a very affirming poem. I feel like this is the one poem that will remain in my thoughts for quite some time.Bonus points for using the word ‘petrichor’ as this is one of my favourite smells and words.__Reading this collection felt like I was reading a very personal diary, filled with thoughts that the character who has lost someone, is keeping to themselves. It’s a short read but I thought it was quite beautiful and it’ll give you a lot to think about.Content warnings: processing loss, PTSD, recovery.
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  • M D.
    June 25, 2017
    It’s been a long time since I read poetry that sent shivers running down my spine. From the sounds of clockwork gears in “Denial” to any & all of the poems after it. Each one a moment in time. Each one, I’d like to say pure emotion, but they’re more than that. They’re neon bright. Overwhelming in their emotions & beautifully crafted. They’ll leave you with seams running across your heart wishing & hoping for more..
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  • Maggie Derrick
    July 17, 2017
    Genre: PoetryRep: Queer Own Voices authorContent Warnings: Reflections on loss, grief, and PTSD containing language that some may find triggering.A free ARC of this publication was provided to me in exchange for an honest reviewYou'll like this book if...You're a fan of emotional poetry written in beautiful and compelling language.My thoughtsPoetry - especially free-verse - can be a tricky thing to review. That said, I know what I like, and RoAnna Sylver's But Not Up Here is definitely the kind Genre: PoetryRep: Queer Own Voices authorContent Warnings: Reflections on loss, grief, and PTSD containing language that some may find triggering.A free ARC of this publication was provided to me in exchange for an honest reviewYou'll like this book if...You're a fan of emotional poetry written in beautiful and compelling language.My thoughtsPoetry - especially free-verse - can be a tricky thing to review. That said, I know what I like, and RoAnna Sylver's But Not Up Here is definitely the kind of poetry I like to sink myself into. This collection is dripping in raw emotion and beautiful language that has an almost lyrical quality to it. Sylver reaches deeper and takes their exploration of the craft further than some of their contemporaries which, at least for me, is a breath of fresh air. This was a privilege to read.What worked wellThese poems are beautifully written. Sylver takes advantage of the "anything goes" format of free-verse and plays with words, lines, and prose in ways that engage the reader, taking us by the hand and leading us through the ravages of each letter-like piece and the heartbreak that comes with them. It's impossible not to feel the raw and deep emotions that inspired these poems as you read. It's a captivating experience.What didn't work wellI hesitate to say this knowing the collections were born of negative emotions and experiences but I only wish there was more to it. The collection is powerful but brief and I felt myself aching for more when I reached the last page.
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  • M
    June 21, 2017
    "Words are too delicate.Keyboard keys are too fragile for this restrained expression.I must be composed. I must be vigilant. I must be alive, because it still hurts.How can I reach you?How can I smash enough, slash enough, punch enough, cry enough to demolish my decaying walls and scream until my vocal cords are frayed and torn?Would it even be enough if I found the words?"RoAnna's poems are the kind that you need to reread many times and every time you're going to find a new meaning behind thes "Words are too delicate.Keyboard keys are too fragile for this restrained expression.I must be composed. I must be vigilant. I must be alive, because it still hurts.How can I reach you?How can I smash enough, slash enough, punch enough, cry enough to demolish my decaying walls and scream until my vocal cords are frayed and torn?Would it even be enough if I found the words?"RoAnna's poems are the kind that you need to reread many times and every time you're going to find a new meaning behind these words. Definitely a collection to check it out if are also like me and enjoys holding raw words inside your heart for many days.I'll be rereading each poem for a while from now on and hope to see more of her work.
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  • Kadeen
    June 19, 2017
    I am still mulling over the beauty of this short collection, but every line, every piece is a thing of grace, and beauty that you takes you along the journey that is grief, and healing, and coming to grips with all that comes of losing someone precious. Will add a more detailed review after my next few re-reads.
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  • Amber
    June 28, 2017
    AGHKFEWGVSWXVEDVJHD THESE ARE SO GOOD AND BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING OMG
  • Min
    June 19, 2017
    But Not Up Here, by RoAnna Sylver, was a read I thought was gonna be hard, tough to get through. Weirdly, it was not. It deals with heavy and difficult topics, some of which I have more experience with than others, but all treated with such care and honesty, you can tell how personal it really is to the author.Grief is also a very close and personal topic for me, so I usually stay away from reads related to it. Recently though, I’ve been feeling like I needed to read about it, to see it represen But Not Up Here, by RoAnna Sylver, was a read I thought was gonna be hard, tough to get through. Weirdly, it was not. It deals with heavy and difficult topics, some of which I have more experience with than others, but all treated with such care and honesty, you can tell how personal it really is to the author.Grief is also a very close and personal topic for me, so I usually stay away from reads related to it. Recently though, I’ve been feeling like I needed to read about it, to see it represented in written form, which is why I jumped at the chance to read this when RoAnna offered an eARC, and I definitely don’t regret it. As I said before, I was expecting it to be hard to read, but it wasn’t. I felt understood in my grief, embraced, even. It was just such a great read, especially because I have lost someone somewhat recently, and the grief I feel is still raw. Grief is not an easy feeling to understand, it’s hard to deal with, really, and even harder to talk about to others (which is why this review is kind of a mess, which I apologize for), so this very honest collection seems like a safe space for my heart. I loved this, and will definitely read it over and over again.Thank you, RoAnna, for giving me a chance to read and review this. It’s even better than I imagined it would be.
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  • Cameron Young
    July 20, 2017
    I read this and loved it. I reread this and cried even more. Gorgeous, absolutely wonderful. I'm not sure there's anything else to say, but wow. Loved it.
  • USOM
    July 6, 2017
    This poetry was exactly my cup of tea. It is lyrical, to the point, and just the right length. While I know poetry is entirely subjective, I am inn love with this style. The poems have words that come alive and talk about themes that speak to the crevices inside your heart. Disclaimer: I received a copy of this in exchange for an honest review from the author.full review: https://utopia-state-of-mind.com/revi...
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  • Violante
    June 27, 2017
    It was beautiful, it broke my heart and warmed it at the same time. I wished I had words to describe these poems better. Sylver deserves all the praise. Read this collection and you'll will understand why.
  • CallMeTulip
    July 1, 2017
    "There is something about unconditional loveThat frees you upTo be the person you were always meant to be."I've never been a huge poetry fan, but I really enjoy everything I have read by RoAnna, including this one. While obviously not as uplifting and fun as Chameleon Moon and Steak Sauce, it's from the heart- working through grief and all that comes with it when life goes haywire. This is a nice, quick one-time read.
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