You're Not That Great
I am addicted to positivity. I am addicted to positivity. I am addicted to positivity.I care more about feeling great than being great.I am NOT THAT GREAT. The self-help industry tells you that if you're positive, if you put your best foot forward and if you just believe in yourself that you will find happiness. Let's be real, you can read all the inspirational quotes you want. You can spend your days giving yourself affirmations in your heart-shaped mirror and trying to learn to love yourself. You can say your mantra over and over again while sitting cross-legged on a yoga mat in a Whole Foods parking lot. But the truth is, you're not a badass and you still don't have the life you want. That's where You're Not That Great (but neither is anyone else) comes in. This book teaches you how to harness all the negativity in the world and use it to improve your life, taking everyday feelings like self-loathing, regret and shame and making them work for you. Positive thinking is for assholes. Negative thinking is for winners.

You're Not That Great Details

TitleYou're Not That Great
Author
ReleaseDec 5th, 2017
PublisherGrand Central Publishing
ISBN-139781478918295
Rating
GenreNonfiction, Self Help, Humor

You're Not That Great Review

  • Nenia ⭐️ SJW = Smart, Jolly Woman ⭐️ Campbell
    January 1, 1970
    Instagram || Twitter || Facebook || Amazon || PinterestI snagged a copy of this ARC because the title made me laugh and I loved the paradox of the snappy, sarcastic title against the baby pink cover. "Mean" can sometimes be funny, as evidenced by the movie Mean Girls, and sometimes we all need a reality check. I was expecting something tongue-in-cheek, sarcastic, witty. Your best-frenemy-for-ever as she channels her inner-Dorothy Parker while sipping on mimosas at your favorite cafe.Instead I g Instagram || Twitter || Facebook || Amazon || PinterestI snagged a copy of this ARC because the title made me laugh and I loved the paradox of the snappy, sarcastic title against the baby pink cover. "Mean" can sometimes be funny, as evidenced by the movie Mean Girls, and sometimes we all need a reality check. I was expecting something tongue-in-cheek, sarcastic, witty. Your best-frenemy-for-ever as she channels her inner-Dorothy Parker while sipping on mimosas at your favorite cafe.Instead I got... something else.First, I understand why people are not totally on board with "positivity." It gets a bum-rap in the media, and its advocates are portrayed as irresponsible hippies or culturally appropriating phonies with no drive, who spend all their time smoking pot or meditating. This is NOT an accurate representation, however, and while this book appears to have been created to take cheap shots at self-help books like The Secret, and pop psychology books like Flow, it operates on the assumption that "happy" people are delusional people who aren't grounded in reality.YOU'RE NOT THAT GREAT is bitter and misanthropic. It encourages unhappiness, seems to suggest that you should wallow in it, and angst, hate, despise, sulk, and seethe freely. There were some passages I agreed with - the part about accepting the anxiety of your future and using that anxiety to propel yourself into action when it comes to accomplishing as much as you can before your own inevitable demise, for example. Death is uncomfortable but it happens to us all, and in a way, it's the driving force behind creativity and insight, because if we lived forever, we might all just become a bunch of dull, indolent vampires passing the days away in an endless malaise.The part about the author's mother getting cancer and her recovery was also quite touching, and portrayed - bitingly real - insights about the pain of recovery and how much of it relies on luck as much as fortitude, and how difficult it is to be brave in suffering. Although that was the point of no return for me as well - when I realized that I wasn't getting Dorothy Parker so much as Ernest Hemingway.And you know, I get it. I used to side-eye happy people too. I thought they were a bunch of fake, cultish people eating up their own lies like it was the most delicious thing they had ever tasted. And to some extent, Elan Gale has a point: being mindlessly, foolishly happy isn't a good way to live your life. That was one of the cautionary aspects of Aldous Huxley's Brave New World; unhappiness keeps society from stagnating; it can trigger change; it keeps pleasure from becoming a dull, drugged haze. But true positivity isn't about that - it's about learning to accept yourself, flaws and all, minimizing stress, and embarking upon the endless, and yes, sometimes futile, struggle of self-betterment.I couldn't really get on board with this book. But maybe darker souls than I will find it funny.Thanks to Netgalley/the publisher for the review copy! 1 star
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  • Courtney Judy
    January 1, 1970
    I wish I had liked it more than I did, I was really going in hopeful that I was going to find this book to be amazing. It had everything I liked, cursing...honesty...bluntness...but towards the end I was honestly getting sick of it. I was struggling with some of the concepts (and I myself deal with levels of anxiety and some of the other normal emotions discussed in the books but not usually openly discussed in public) that the author was putting out there. And in the spirit of the honesty the a I wish I had liked it more than I did, I was really going in hopeful that I was going to find this book to be amazing. It had everything I liked, cursing...honesty...bluntness...but towards the end I was honestly getting sick of it. I was struggling with some of the concepts (and I myself deal with levels of anxiety and some of the other normal emotions discussed in the books but not usually openly discussed in public) that the author was putting out there. And in the spirit of the honesty the author was pushing -- the ENTIRE Bachelor/Bachelorette TV phenomenon is TERRIBLE in every sense. So the author being involved in that heaping pile of crap didn't help...and the more he mentioned it, the more I felt like disengaging with the book.Overall, I liked what the author was selling -- and I know a few people I would like to send a copy of the book too, but I wanted to like it more than I did. I wish there were more bits and pieces that I was inclined to highlight to refer to later. I would read another published work by Gale, so if you are reading this Elan -- please do write some more.
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  • Jo-Ann Duff (Duffy The Writer)
    January 1, 1970
    Harness the power of negative thinking!You're Not That Great (But Neither Is Anyone Else). Yep, if you read my blog, you'll understand why this book caught my eye.  This fresh new wave of frank, 'real-life' motivational books have become very popular, and I've enjoyed some of them immensely.  Get Your Sh*t Together, and Unf*ck Yourself were both great reads, and the very popular The Subtle Art Of Not Giving a F*ck is still flying off bookstore shelves.So, what is there to know about You're Not T Harness the power of negative thinking!You're Not That Great (But Neither Is Anyone Else). Yep, if you read my blog, you'll understand why this book caught my eye.  This fresh new wave of frank, 'real-life' motivational books have become very popular, and I've enjoyed some of them immensely.  Get Your Sh*t Together, and Unf*ck Yourself were both great reads, and the very popular The Subtle Art Of Not Giving a F*ck is still flying off bookstore shelves.So, what is there to know about You're Not That Great (but neither is anyone else), and is it any different to the other motivational books out there?  Elan Gale writes with an energetic, pumped up tone rather than an aggressive 'get yourself together loser' tone which particularly helped when reading such passages as 'Say Goodbye To Happiness'. Elan also uses his own experiences and is incredibly honest when sharing his own personality failings and extremely regrettable, awkward life situations.The mantra of You're Not That Great(but neither is anyone else) is to not be addicted to being the best, instead, try and be a bit better each time. It makes sense.  How many of us have beaten ourselves up because we've stuffed a whole bag of Caramelo Koalas in our face halfway through a 3 day juice cleanse and triggered a shame spiral that lasts for days? The mindset of giving it another go and maybe completing your juice the cleanse and only having 3 Freddo Frogs might offer a small sense of comfort. Don't aim to be the best. Just aim to be better."Regret is powerful. It stays in your body. Like swallowed gum, regret just lives in your intenstines and bowels tile the day you die" - Elan GaleIt's all well and good stuffing your instagram feed with daily affirmations to make you feel like a good person, but do you actually live by them, or to you just scroll through mindlessly activitating the little red heart, only to go and comment on a funny wine meme? Does everyone in their perfect instagram world inspire you really? Or do they, in reality, leave you feeling insecure about your looks and your life as you scroll through social media feeds on the couch in your dirty trackpants and your hair in a messy bun?This book tells you to not believe the hype and perfection that everyone is meant to strive for as it's simply not attainable for most of us. We can't all be Beyonce. Harness the negativity of others who say you can't do something, and get up and give it bloody good crack to prove them wrong, but don't think that you'll be a billionaire by the time your 40 with a model partner and perfect kids because you eat a clean food diet and listened to a Tony Robbins podcast or two.  Life for most of us is a bit harder than that.This book didn't tell me anything I didnt already know, but it did remind me that I can't just sit back and go through the motions if I want to be more successful, however this book did tell me fair and square that being the next JK Rowling just isn't on the cards, and dreams crushed can be a bitter pill to swallow. Gale explains it best.  We are told as kids, by our parents, that our piece of crap artwork is the best thing in the world and put on the fridge, you only need to look at American Idol to see that the most terrible singers are told they sing like angels by their mothers. This is engrained in us, that we can do anything we believe we can. Sometimes it happens, but sometimes these are falsehoods.A quick, enjoyable, sometimes confronting, sometimes funny, guide to surviving life if you arent so perfect.
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  • Sarah
    January 1, 1970
    Me prior to reading this book : I’m a millennial and I’m special unicorn. Me after reading this book : I might be a millennial and special unicorn, but I’m not really a great person. And being a great person is more important that being a special millennial unicorn.The last time a read a self-help book (The Fangirl Life), I hated myself more and more after each chapter. In reading You’re Not That Great, a certain amount of self-loathing is a prerequisite. One must accept that they’re not that gr Me prior to reading this book : I’m a millennial and I’m special unicorn. Me after reading this book : I might be a millennial and special unicorn, but I’m not really a great person. And being a great person is more important that being a special millennial unicorn.The last time a read a self-help book (The Fangirl Life), I hated myself more and more after each chapter. In reading You’re Not That Great, a certain amount of self-loathing is a prerequisite. One must accept that they’re not that great in order to become great. Now, I knew absolutely nothing about Elan Gale, I didn’t know he was a producer of The Bachelor (which, oddly enough, I’ve never seen), and I purposefully did not look up any information about him until I was done reading. Primarily because I wanted to believe he is a credible authority on his subject matter.Now, he is not a psychologist, which is probably why our publisher rep at the store suggested that we shelve this book in humor, but as a real life person, with real life experience (not just the experience of patients and extensive study), I find him to be uniquely qualified to write the anti-self-help self-help book.You’re Not That Great is, yes, very humorous, but it is also incredibly helpful. For centuries, millennia even, court fools were the only ones allowed to make fun of their lord/king. And in the poking fun, was also at least a morsel of truth. It’s like when someone tells you they have good news and bad news and ask which you’d like to hear first. I’m sure 9 out of 10 people will say the bad news first, because then they get to cheer up, and maybe even laugh a little, when they hear the good news.It is an age old practice because it is an effective one, one that Elan Gale uses to his great advantage to drive home the purpose of his book, or what I believe should be the second subtitle for the book, “But You Can Be Better.”
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  • Jake Harris
    January 1, 1970
    A not-very-well-written book about a great way of living that gets repetitive around page 50. At 179 pages, it could’ve been way shorter and just as effective.
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