Getting Off
A fiercely courageous account of one woman's unflinching, raw, and ultimately hopeful journey through sex and porn addiction.For almost two decades, Erica Garza was consumed by a singular, secret, shame-fueled pursuit that threw her life into chaos: orgasm. Back-braced, isolated, and teased in adolescence, and ambivalent about her Catholic upbringing, Garza found a secret solace in masturbation and porn--first by way of the limited softcore viewing offered by late-night cable, and, later, with the booming proliferation of online porn.In this wrenching, vivid account, Garza explores her sexual fixations and relives the series of disastrous relationships and one-night stands that haunt her as she runs from one side of the world to the other in a futile attempt to break free of her habits―from East Los Angeles to Hawaii and Southeast Asia, through the brothels of Bangkok and the yoga studios of Bali to disappointing stabs at twelve-steps, therapy, and rehab back home.Garza's terror at digging so deeply into her history to understand her anxieties is palpable, as is her exhilaration when she begins to believe she might just be free of them. And yet there is no false hope or prepackaged sense of redemption. Even her relationship to the man she will ultimately marry is credibly rocky as it finds its legs with several false starts, making her increasing sense of self-acceptance and peace by journey's end feel utterly earned.In exploring the cultural taboos surrounding sex and porn from a female perspective, Garza offers a brave and necessary voice to our evolving conversations about addiction and the impact that Internet culture has had on young women.

Getting Off Details

TitleGetting Off
Author
ReleaseJan 16th, 2018
PublisherSimon & Schuster
Rating
GenreNonfiction, Autobiography, Memoir, Biography, Sexuality

Getting Off Review

  • *TUDOR^QUEEN*
    January 1, 1970
    This is a bravely honest memoir from writer Erica Garza about her personal struggle with Sex Addiction. It all began at the tender age of 12 while listening to Loveline, a popular LA radio program hosted by Dr. Drew Pinsky and Adam Corolla. A female caller boasted of a fetish for inducing mind-blowing orgasms, achieved by lying in the tub in a certain way under a steady stream from the water faucet. This propelled an obsession for warm baths as a teenager and a way to release pent-up sexual frus This is a bravely honest memoir from writer Erica Garza about her personal struggle with Sex Addiction. It all began at the tender age of 12 while listening to Loveline, a popular LA radio program hosted by Dr. Drew Pinsky and Adam Corolla. A female caller boasted of a fetish for inducing mind-blowing orgasms, achieved by lying in the tub in a certain way under a steady stream from the water faucet. This propelled an obsession for warm baths as a teenager and a way to release pent-up sexual frustration. However, this was just the beginning and tip of the iceberg of Erica's sexual preoccupation through the years.Erica carried emotional baggage from childhood experiences such as feeling different from having to wear a back brace due to scoliosis. She also felt distant from her father who worked many hours away from home as a mortgage broker. When her Mom announced she was having a baby girl (when Erica was 10), her interest was piqued at the mystery of sex, but she felt even more isolated from her parents' affections. A familiar theme running throughout the book is Erica feeling unworthy of being loved. Instead, she feels like she has to use sex as the primary force in her relationships. When men get close to her emotionally, she always manages to push them away. And when she's alone, she relies upon incessant masturbation inspired by porn from the internet. Following this transient satisfaction, she is disgusted by herself.There are so many sexual partners...casual, random and serious...throughout the book. Erica desperately tries various therapies, retreats and workshops in search of a cure to her sex addiction. She just wants a healthy relationship with a man and most importantly, to feel good about herself.Erica previously revealed some of her provocative experiences in magazine articles, but courageously broached the subject full-on in this memoir. While the salacious nature of the book is certainly attention getting, the constant recounting of her sexual escapades had a numbing effect as I was heading towards the end of the book. Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for providing this advance reader copy in return for my honest review.
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  • Michelle
    January 1, 1970
    Sexual addiction is often misunderstood, and remains largely a taboo subject. Some psychiatrists and other mental-health professionals do not identify or diagnose this condition, which may co-occur with problematic obsessive compulsive symptoms and other disturbing behaviors. In “Getting Off: One Woman’s Journey Through Sex and Porn Addiction” writer Erica Garza shared her courageous and dynamic story of how her addiction to sex and pornography prevented her from having a normal life and healthy Sexual addiction is often misunderstood, and remains largely a taboo subject. Some psychiatrists and other mental-health professionals do not identify or diagnose this condition, which may co-occur with problematic obsessive compulsive symptoms and other disturbing behaviors. In “Getting Off: One Woman’s Journey Through Sex and Porn Addiction” writer Erica Garza shared her courageous and dynamic story of how her addiction to sex and pornography prevented her from having a normal life and healthy fulfilling relationships with others.Garza was emotionally up front and graphic regarding her sexual encounters with men she barely knew. Clay, a huge beefy man with neck tattoos, might call or not. Usually drunk and/or high, he visited Garza for sex In the wee hours of the morning; she was sober. There was no need for condoms or conversation—what would they talk about, anyway? Real dates of dining, dancing or drinks were totally unnecessary. After Clay left, Garza would turn to computer porn and/or her favorite fantasies involving two sweaty women, a warehouse, fifty “horny” men, a harness, hairdryer and a taxicab. According to Garza, this was the disgusting “revolting” mix of shame and sexual excitement that seemed to fuel a bizarre ritualistic loop that brought a temporary gratification and relief that she craved for over two decades.As a writer, Garza lived abroad often with accomplished professional men that genuinely loved her. After engagements and/or wedding planning, meeting parents— her deep insecurities, poor self-esteem, severe jealousy, led her to sexually act out and sabotage her love relationships. *Garza would break plans with the people who needed her—family members, friends—or not make plans at all, because she didn’t want to miss out on any potential opportunity to have sex.There was no childhood trauma, neglect or abuse in her life history. In fact, she was raised in an ordinary and supportive Catholic home by her Mexican parents in Southeast Los Angeles in Montebello, CA. When she was 12 years old she started to masturbate-- seemingly to relieve stress and anxiety. On cable she discovered porn, her tastes for it only evolved when she began downloading it, which eventually led to compulsive viewing on her laptop. Online she could be anyone, and explore her perversions with other like-minded individuals. It would be five years after Garza acknowledged her deep seated sexual problems when she began attending Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), and studied self-help books. Marriage to her husband River connected her to a deeper level of her own humanity. When she wrote an essay about sex addiction for Salon.com (2014) she heard from others with similar problems. These healthy connections with others were vital in a three stage recovery process; with the final stage leading Garza and her husband in an unexpected direction. ** With thanks and appreciation to Simon & Schuster via NetGalley for the DDC for the purpose of review.
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  • ❇Critterbee (aka Vivian Darcy)
    January 1, 1970
    This book is very difficult to read. It is honest, true, harsh, heartbreaking and the author was very brave to share her story. It is a well-written book, But what I found uneasy or disturbing was that the content is very upsetting. She just keeps hurting herself. The pain is very devastating. Perhaps writing the book has helped her more than anything else. *eARC Netgalley*
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  • Muthuvel Deivendran
    January 1, 1970
    I thank Netgalley and Simon & Schuster Publications for the opportunity to review this memoir in exchange for my review.The Memoir is about a woman's obsession with Porn and Sexual fantasies, and her battle to confront the feeling of guilt every time she'd finished with her countless adventures around the world, and how she'd managed to recover being an addict (or at least obliterating that guilty feeling due self-destructive patterns). I felt the book is brutally honest with the way things I thank Netgalley and Simon & Schuster Publications for the opportunity to review this memoir in exchange for my review.The Memoir is about a woman's obsession with Porn and Sexual fantasies, and her battle to confront the feeling of guilt every time she'd finished with her countless adventures around the world, and how she'd managed to recover being an addict (or at least obliterating that guilty feeling due self-destructive patterns). I felt the book is brutally honest with the way things are portrayed like Henry Miller's kind though I'm still yet to read his. To avoid misconceptions, it's nothing like an erotica (I can say this since I tried one by Sasha Grey) but the psychological battle amongst emotion, numbness, recognition and self-destructive habitual patterns. If she happens to write more, I'll make sure to read that one as well.Erica Garza's essays have appeared in Salon, Narratively, BUST, Marie Claire, Good Housekeeping, Esquire, Refinery29, Bustle, Cosmopolitan, HelloGiggles, The Los Angeles Review and Australia's Mamamia and The Motherish. She has appeared as a guest on BBC Radio 4, Thom Hartmann's "The Big Picture" and August McLaughlin's Girl Boner Radio. In 2010, she earned her MFA in Creative Nonfiction at Columbia University. "GETTING OFF", her memoir on sex addiction, is forthcoming from Simon & Schuster in 2018.Born in Los Angeles to Mexican parents, Erica has spent most of her adult life traveling and living abroad in such places as Florence, London, Berlin, Paris, Barcelona, Bogota, Bali, Bangkok, Koh Samui, Chennai, Melbourne and the island of Maui. She currently lives in Los Angeles with her husband and daughter. From www.ericagarza.comThe Book will be available from January 09, 2018. Have a taste of being a sex addict.
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  • Brenda
    January 1, 1970
    Thanks to Netgalley and Simon and Schuster for an ARC copy of this book. This is an emotional story about addiction and the struggles that accompany that addiction.When Erica is 12 years old she experiences porn clips and sex videos along with her first orgasm. From here at that tender young age it consumes her life and for the next two decades we watch her make one bad choice after another. She is self destructive and hurts herself as well as many innocent people along her path.I did not sympat Thanks to Netgalley and Simon and Schuster for an ARC copy of this book. This is an emotional story about addiction and the struggles that accompany that addiction.When Erica is 12 years old she experiences porn clips and sex videos along with her first orgasm. From here at that tender young age it consumes her life and for the next two decades we watch her make one bad choice after another. She is self destructive and hurts herself as well as many innocent people along her path.I did not sympathize with Erica as many other reviewers did. She was privileged, over indulgent, and spoiled, wreaking havoc wherever she went. Erica was blessed to be able to travel to many wonderful countries where visited and had extended stays in Bali, Hawaii and Bangkok as well as Southeast Asia where she studied yoga and visited brothels all to try to get to know who she was. (where did the funding for all this traveling come from?) Erica stayed in denial about her sex addiction even after so many people told her she had a problem and offered help.Don't get me wrong, I feel for anyone with an addiction; sex addiction being no different than any other. Erica's excuse for becoming a sex addict was when she was 12 she had to wear a back brace which made her an outcast at school. Really???? How many kids are bullied, raped, molested by family members or suffer from severe, lifelong painful disabilities that struggle through their days with optimism? Erica in my opinion was a confused, privileged, bisexual with a hefty appetite for sex and attention. and is now trying to capitalize on her escapades. If you want to read a book about someone that overcomes adversity, do yourself a favor and read about Jacee Dugard, now that is one amazingly strong person who deserves your time.
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  • Laura
    January 1, 1970
    'Getting Off' is Erica Garza's rather raw - and at times painfully honest - account of her years long battle with sex addiction. An affliction which is seldom spoken about, and more so associated with males, it's great to see such a taboo subject talked about with such overwhelming honesty. Garza's writing takes you on the journey with her, her anecdotes and accounts of situations succinct and snappy and bereft of unnecessary detail, which some auto-biographical accounts can get caught up in. I 'Getting Off' is Erica Garza's rather raw - and at times painfully honest - account of her years long battle with sex addiction. An affliction which is seldom spoken about, and more so associated with males, it's great to see such a taboo subject talked about with such overwhelming honesty. Garza's writing takes you on the journey with her, her anecdotes and accounts of situations succinct and snappy and bereft of unnecessary detail, which some auto-biographical accounts can get caught up in. I whizzed through this book in no more than a couple of hours, so fascinated was I by the topic itself, complemented by Garza's brilliant writing style. As you might expect from the subject matter is is certainly x-rated in places and so not suited for the most prudish readers amongst us, but is an eye-opening and fascinating read.
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  • Laura W
    January 1, 1970
    Thank you to Simon & Schuster for providing me with an ARC review copy. All opinions expressed are my own.To preface, I've never reviewed anything like this before. Normally, I review relatively clean books and I've never reviewed anything that directly confronts sex and porn like this book does. When a representative from Simon & Schuster approached me for a potential review, however, I felt that it was an important topic to take on. I'd also like to mention, that if you are someone who Thank you to Simon & Schuster for providing me with an ARC review copy. All opinions expressed are my own.To preface, I've never reviewed anything like this before. Normally, I review relatively clean books and I've never reviewed anything that directly confronts sex and porn like this book does. When a representative from Simon & Schuster approached me for a potential review, however, I felt that it was an important topic to take on. I'd also like to mention, that if you are someone who suffers from this same addiction, a trigger warning is in order. I would also suggest 18+.1. The content (the journey itself). The first portion of the blurb is beyond true. This book offers a good long look through a window into the house of sex addiction and it's probably a house not many have seen unless they've become trapped into the house themselves. Quite honestly, I found myself crying at one point because what the author has chosen to reveal is heartbreaking. Personally, I don't know too much about addiction of any kind so the feelings the author expresses are all new to me. She walks you through her shame and guilt and feelings of worthlessness which is so hard to read. I think Garza did a fantastic job of illuminating her personal struggle through these feelings and her journey of coming to understand herself and accept herself.2. The cultural implications. One aspect I'd like to mention before I get to far into this review are the cultural implications of a woman addressing her own sex addiction. As Garza states in the book (and backs up with evidence), sex addiction is often seen as a man's problem and one that isn't really taken too seriously (at least, not as seriously as drug or alcohol addiction) and it isn't as nearly widely publicized for many reasons. Our culture today is still struggling to break free of the idea that only a man's pleasure counts during sex and sex is predominantly a man's world. This novel addresses this in several scenes which I found to be particularly relevant.3. The big picture. The only large issue I had with the book was, in fact, the big picture. The blurb promises a book that will link the struggles of one woman to the larger issue of sex addiction itself and how the Internet plays into this. While Garza does refer to several studies and mentions these big picture ideas once or twice, I found the supposed connection flimsy and inadequate. Her personal narrative is compelling, but her connection with the rest of the puzzle wasn't enough for me.The Final Verdict:Though this is different from anything else I've read, I'm glad to have experienced it. The narration is poignant and very near flawless though the focus seemed to be only on a single puzzle piece.4 stars
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  • Michelle
    January 1, 1970
    Sexual addiction is often misunderstood, and remains largely a taboo subject. Some psychiatrists and other mental-health professionals do not identify or diagnose this condition, which may co-occur with problematic obsessive compulsive symptoms and other disturbing behaviors. In “Getting Off: One Woman’s Journey Through Sex and Porn Addiction” writer Erica Garza shared her courageous and dynamic story of how her addiction to sex and pornography prevented her from having a normal life and healthy Sexual addiction is often misunderstood, and remains largely a taboo subject. Some psychiatrists and other mental-health professionals do not identify or diagnose this condition, which may co-occur with problematic obsessive compulsive symptoms and other disturbing behaviors. In “Getting Off: One Woman’s Journey Through Sex and Porn Addiction” writer Erica Garza shared her courageous and dynamic story of how her addiction to sex and pornography prevented her from having a normal life and healthy fulfilling relationships with others.Garza was emotionally up front and graphic regarding her sexual encounters with men she barely knew. Clay, a huge beefy man with neck tattoos, might call or not. Usually drunk and/or high, he visited Garza for sex In the wee hours of the morning; she was sober. There was no need for condoms or conversation—what would they talk about, anyway? Real dates of dining, dancing or drinks were totally unnecessary. After Clay left, Garza would turn to computer porn and/or her favorite fantasies involving two sweaty women, a warehouse, fifty “horny” men, a harness, hairdryer and a taxicab. According to Garza, this was the disgusting “revolting” mix of shame and sexual excitement that seemed to fuel a bizarre ritualistic loop that brought a temporary gratification and relief that she craved for over two decades.As a writer, Garza lived abroad often with accomplished professional men that genuinely loved her. After engagements and/or wedding planning, meeting parents— her deep insecurities, poor self-esteem, severe jealousy, led her to sexually act out and sabotage her love relationships. *Garza would break plans with the people who needed her—family members, friends—or not make plans at all, because she didn’t want to miss out on any potential opportunity to have sex.There was no childhood trauma, neglect or abuse in her life history. In fact, she was raised in an ordinary and supportive Catholic home by her Mexican parents in Southeast Los Angeles in Montebello, CA. When she was 12 years old she started to masturbate-- seemingly to relieve stress and anxiety. On cable she discovered porn, her tastes for it only evolved when she began downloading it, which eventually led to compulsive viewing on her laptop. Online she could be anyone, and explore her perversions with other like-minded individuals. It would be five years after Garza acknowledged her deep seated sexual problems when she began attending Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), and studied self-help books. Marriage to her husband River connected her to a deeper level of her own humanity. When she wrote an essay about sex addiction for Salon.com (2014) she heard from others with similar problems. These healthy connections with others were vital in a three stage recovery process; with the final stage leading Garza and her husband in an unexpected direction. ** With thanks and appreciation to Simon & Schuster via NetGalley for the DDC for the purpose of review.
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  • Amy Morgan
    January 1, 1970
    Thank you Edelweiss for my review copy of this book. An incredibly brave and raw account of one woman and her journey through two decades of being addicted to sex and porn.I was honestly not sure about this story before I began reading it. But Garza's account of her journey is well written and brutally honest taking you through her deepest moments of shame and despair and into her moments where she finally can see a life outside of her addiction. There are several parts that may be a bit too gra Thank you Edelweiss for my review copy of this book. An incredibly brave and raw account of one woman and her journey through two decades of being addicted to sex and porn.I was honestly not sure about this story before I began reading it. But Garza's account of her journey is well written and brutally honest taking you through her deepest moments of shame and despair and into her moments where she finally can see a life outside of her addiction. There are several parts that may be a bit too graphic for some tastes but I applaud this author for sharing her story so that it may be able to reach others who may be alone and suffering. The only criticism I have is that there are facts included at the end of some chapters and by the time you get to the end of the chapter you have a hard time remembering what they were a reference to.
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  • Alicia
    January 1, 1970
    The book is courageous and reveals Garza's story of sex and porn addiction that she put together after multiple articles in magazines that applauded her confrontation with her issues. Garza covers a lot of her normal life, including her relationship with religion and family living in California and Catholic with Latin roots. It's a balance of biography and the addiction that showcases how dangerous addiction can become regardless of the kind and her footnotes provide a validity and ability to di The book is courageous and reveals Garza's story of sex and porn addiction that she put together after multiple articles in magazines that applauded her confrontation with her issues. Garza covers a lot of her normal life, including her relationship with religion and family living in California and Catholic with Latin roots. It's a balance of biography and the addiction that showcases how dangerous addiction can become regardless of the kind and her footnotes provide a validity and ability to discuss her issues so that others can explore their own. Nothing too titillating or provocative that wasn't what she was dealing with. She kept it from being sensational for the sake of selling books. It was real.
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  • Janet
    January 1, 1970
    I received an Advance Reader Copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review and OH BOY DID THIS BOOK MAKE ME UNCOMFORTABLE. I am not saying in any way that sex is dirty --- hell orgasms are amazing but this book was way too honest for me.I read this book at work and my office-mate kept looking at the way my face was contorting and laughing which led to a looooooong discussion over sex and women and stereotypes of porn and addiction. When I stated (oh this is showing my age) "W I received an Advance Reader Copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review and OH BOY DID THIS BOOK MAKE ME UNCOMFORTABLE. I am not saying in any way that sex is dirty --- hell orgasms are amazing but this book was way too honest for me.I read this book at work and my office-mate kept looking at the way my face was contorting and laughing which led to a looooooong discussion over sex and women and stereotypes of porn and addiction. When I stated (oh this is showing my age) "When I was young I wanted to marry either Donny Osmond or Alan Alda(once I passed 7 years old)!" it led to a discussion of how young woman today don't want to marry Drake or Justin Beiber or Shawn Mendes THEY WANT TO F*CK HIM. Instagram, Youtube, and other social media have led us to a world where girls have to have the perfect body, have to still have a six pack stomach while pregnant (!!!!!) and have to contour their faces and paint their lips and eyebrows like Kardashians. Kim Kardashian is famous because of a sex tape (as was her pre-fame friend Paris Hilton. With this kind of pop-culture around us, it is no doubt why women end up as nothing but sexual beings.Being a sexual being is what a woman needs to be these days and Garza relates her journey through this world and her resulting addiction to porn and rehab and trips through the far east's sex clubs and brothels. There are so many graphic parts to this book that were difficult to read and stomach --- it is not for the everyday masses.I certainly would not give it to a daughter that was body-and-social-media-addicted!!!This was a brutally hard book to read but I think I am better for it in the end as I learned so much that can apply to my work in social services.
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  • Tina
    January 1, 1970
    My short review is: I LOVE THIS BOOK.Memoirs on addictions are, in my opinion, very difficult to write. Imagine taking your biggest secrets and putting them all on paper for the world to see. This is exactly what Garza did - in fact, she did it in a way that was different from many memoirs, while you can feel the dread, sadness, bewilderment Garza feels as she continues to indulge in her addiction, she does so in a way that sends the message "mea culpa, but I am human and this will never be perf My short review is: I LOVE THIS BOOK.Memoirs on addictions are, in my opinion, very difficult to write. Imagine taking your biggest secrets and putting them all on paper for the world to see. This is exactly what Garza did - in fact, she did it in a way that was different from many memoirs, while you can feel the dread, sadness, bewilderment Garza feels as she continues to indulge in her addiction, she does so in a way that sends the message "mea culpa, but I am human and this will never be perfect".I found this refreshing and surprising. Yes, we get the feeling that Garza is completely lost and yes, while she describes her past (especially her younger years with candor and mercifully not too much detail) we also get the feeling that this person was born to be who she is with the good, the bad and the really bad.I am not sure I understand some of the passages in her book, but I love that she is always honest, despite the fact that she basically tries everything to find "inner peace" - yoga, mediation, writing. While other memoirs would stop at "now that I have done all these things I have found inner peace" Garza doesn't find inner peace, but rather some kind of understanding of herself, if only a little.I do admit that I questioned how she could travel so much, to such places without ever seeming to run of money. I also wonder how she managed to survive this behavior without STDs, but this is extremely well written. Thoughtful and deep and I love, love it.
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  • kelly
    January 1, 1970
    Often times when we hear about sex addiction, it is a taboo subject. It is also a narrative that is usually dominated by men. "Getting Off" is one of the few books about this topic that I've read that's written by a woman, and shows the wide range of emotions and dysfunctions that goes along with this affliction. Garza's struggle with sex addiction begins when she is twelve and continues long into her adulthood. She has a brilliant writing style--raw, at times funny, and painfully honest in its Often times when we hear about sex addiction, it is a taboo subject. It is also a narrative that is usually dominated by men. "Getting Off" is one of the few books about this topic that I've read that's written by a woman, and shows the wide range of emotions and dysfunctions that goes along with this affliction. Garza's struggle with sex addiction begins when she is twelve and continues long into her adulthood. She has a brilliant writing style--raw, at times funny, and painfully honest in its detail. Once I started reading this book I didn't put it down and finished it in a manner of hours. As you can guess from the subject matter, it is quite x-rated in certain scenes, so it's not for the puritanical or faint of heart. If you can move beyond this, however, you will find this an enlightening and enjoyable read.[A free digital copy of this book was provided by the publisher, Scribner, and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.]
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  • Deann Dyke
    January 1, 1970
    This book was so honest and pure I could barely stop reading it. I never really thought about sex addiction (much less a female with a sex addiction) before having the chance to read and review this book. The writing really pulled me in. I felt like I got to know the author and very quickly I was pulling for her to make it through this addiction to the other side. I am so glad I was able to read Erica Garza's journey. Learning her story helps me understand sex addiction in a more meaningful way This book was so honest and pure I could barely stop reading it. I never really thought about sex addiction (much less a female with a sex addiction) before having the chance to read and review this book. The writing really pulled me in. I felt like I got to know the author and very quickly I was pulling for her to make it through this addiction to the other side. I am so glad I was able to read Erica Garza's journey. Learning her story helps me understand sex addiction in a more meaningful way now. I recommend that anyone who has the chance read this wonderful book.
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  • Patty Ramirez
    January 1, 1970
    Thank you NetGalley for providing me with a copy of this book. I could not put this book down! Ms. Garza's account of her struggles with sex and porn addiction were depicted in such a raw and honest way that it made you want to keep reading. Even though I love to read memoirs, I sometimes have trouble to remain interested, but this was not the case. I highly recommend this book.
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  • DespReader
    January 1, 1970
    Check out my in-depth review on my blog http://www.despreaderlife.com/2017/10...
  • Jeremy Reppy
    January 1, 1970
    This is a powerful memoir exploring the depths that addiction can reach and the harm that it can cause. The author is very open and honest about her behavior and actions as she fed her sexual addiction. One of the strengths of the book is that the author is female and is writing about a type of addiction that most people would associate with men. Not only does this hopefully make it easier for other women to confront their own sex addiction, if appropriate, but hopefully her courage in writing t This is a powerful memoir exploring the depths that addiction can reach and the harm that it can cause. The author is very open and honest about her behavior and actions as she fed her sexual addiction. One of the strengths of the book is that the author is female and is writing about a type of addiction that most people would associate with men. Not only does this hopefully make it easier for other women to confront their own sex addiction, if appropriate, but hopefully her courage in writing this memoir will help others who are struggling with an addiction that is stereotypically associated with a particular gender or ethnic group or socioeconomic status or other category that does not fit the particular addict.Another strength of the book is that the author acknowledges that she is not "cured." She admits that she still experiences the urges/desires to engage in the self-destructive behavior that defined her life for so many years and she admits that sometimes she slips up and indulges these desires, but she has developed coping skills to both help her deal with and move forward after "falling off the wagon" and keep her from sinking too far back into past unhealthy habits.While many people might be turned off by the subject matter (or only read it for the salacious content), I think the book is valuable for everyone. Although most people do not have an addiction as time-consuming and destructive as the author's, I think all of us have an addiction of some sorts or are prone to addiction, whether it is sex, drugs, gambling, shopping, food, the computer, exercise, work, spirituality, etc. as a way to compensate for or escape from some aspect of ourselves that we dislike, are ashamed of, fear, etc. We could all benefit from taking a deeper look at ourselves, the things we do/how we spend our time, and whether our actions/behaviors are truly healthy. I received a copy of the ebook from Netgalley in exchange for a review.
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  • Lee
    January 1, 1970
    I received an ARC of this very interesting book. Erica Garza begins her spiral into porn and sex addiction at the young age of 12 after listening to a late night radio program. I am not sure if her addiction is due to low self-esteem at having to wear a back brace due to scoliosis at that age, or if it was due to jealousy with the addition of a new baby sister at about that time. This is a very interesting account of her course in life with her sex and porn addiction, along with drug use. Ms. Ga I received an ARC of this very interesting book. Erica Garza begins her spiral into porn and sex addiction at the young age of 12 after listening to a late night radio program. I am not sure if her addiction is due to low self-esteem at having to wear a back brace due to scoliosis at that age, or if it was due to jealousy with the addition of a new baby sister at about that time. This is a very interesting account of her course in life with her sex and porn addiction, along with drug use. Ms. Garza is a brilliant writer, went to the best schools and traveled extensively abroad during which time she went from one encounter to the next and one relationship to the next with none of them working. She finally meets a man when she is studying yoga and he does make a difference in her life. This is an excellent account of this sometimes frightening journey and I enjoyed reading about it.
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  • Kathleen Gray
    January 1, 1970
    Garza has tackled a pretty much taboo subject in an open and honest way. She's not a particularly likable woman but she owns her issues. The reaction to this will be interesting, as sex addiction is more often the subject of jokes than serious study. Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC. I'm not sure who to recommend this to as it's a one off type of book. Definitely an interesting read.
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  • Lauren Fanella
    January 1, 1970
    I am really glad that I read this book. This was such a brave memoir that was written with such honesty about a taboo subject for women. She accurately captures the insecurity that so many young women face when it comes to men and sex.
  • Kathy
    January 1, 1970
    Brave, unflinching and honest. These all describe this book.Despite that, it could also be described as Loooong, even though it clocks in at 192 pages. I found myself flipping through descriptions of man after man after man and sex act after sex act after sex act. Obviously, the fact that Garza felt compelled to "act out" like that is kind of the point, but I wish she'd broken it up with more of the information and statistics she clearly had, given the footnotes. It would have made this easier t Brave, unflinching and honest. These all describe this book.Despite that, it could also be described as Loooong, even though it clocks in at 192 pages. I found myself flipping through descriptions of man after man after man and sex act after sex act after sex act. Obviously, the fact that Garza felt compelled to "act out" like that is kind of the point, but I wish she'd broken it up with more of the information and statistics she clearly had, given the footnotes. It would have made this easier to read and added some reader context for the important story of sexual addiction in women. Plus, some more clinical text would have broken up the never-ending list of men and given the reader some much-needed emotional space to process what was happening with Garza. As it was, I found myself saying, "I don't care anymore! Get to when something changes!" which is a shame. Recommended. Sort of.
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  • Brittany Wilson
    January 1, 1970
    Garza is very honest and open. She lets us know who she was during her addiction and the partners she had slept with and hurt and who hurt her as well. She is brutally honest with details. Garza is a brave soul to let the world read what she had gone through and who it made her be.
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  • Robin
    January 1, 1970
    At first I was fascinated by Garza's tale but about halfway through all of the details (and raunchiness) got a little tedious, especially when she kept making such horrible choices in her love activities. However, I greatly admire the author's bravery in being so candid about every aspect of her life.Thanks to the publisher for the advance digital reading copy.
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  • Elizabeth
    January 1, 1970
    Getting Off tells the story of Erica Garza's descent into sex addiction and her inspiring recovery from it.The opening of the book is shocking, and paints an unpleasant picture of what the author's life was like when she was in the midst of her addiction to orgasms and pornography. She then revisits her childhood to tell the story of how she got to that point. Although she faced some physical challenges, Garza had an otherwise pretty normal childhood. Readers will be able to relate to her strugg Getting Off tells the story of Erica Garza's descent into sex addiction and her inspiring recovery from it.The opening of the book is shocking, and paints an unpleasant picture of what the author's life was like when she was in the midst of her addiction to orgasms and pornography. She then revisits her childhood to tell the story of how she got to that point. Although she faced some physical challenges, Garza had an otherwise pretty normal childhood. Readers will be able to relate to her struggles and insecurities as she navigates the treacherous waters of the high school social scene. She describes candidly how masturbation becomes her salve for emotional hurts. When she leaves her parents' home, she adds one night stands and a series of stormy relationships with men who treat her the way she thinks of herself to the mix. Pornography is a constant as well, and as technology improves, Garza takes solstice in material that is increasingly degrading and graphic.Eventually she does turn her life around and is now happily married with a child. I wish that she had focused more on this portion of her story. She does describe a retreat, some group therapy, and a couple of healthy relationships with men, but this latter part of the book seemed skimmed over.Although Garza's story is a difficult one to read, it is engaging and fast-paced. She adds a much-needed female voice to what is sadly a small body of serious works addressing addiction to sex and pornography.Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing an electronic copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
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  • Erica
    January 1, 1970
    Thanks to the publisher I received an advanced copy of Getting Off One woman's journey through sex and porn addiction. Erica is a brave woman for putting her story out there. She opens up to her readers and does not censor . It was hard to get through, not because it was a difficult read, but difficult to picture what Erica had to go through. Living her days thinking she was not worthy of saving herself for that special someone. She was looking for love and attention in all the wrong places. She Thanks to the publisher I received an advanced copy of Getting Off One woman's journey through sex and porn addiction. Erica is a brave woman for putting her story out there. She opens up to her readers and does not censor . It was hard to get through, not because it was a difficult read, but difficult to picture what Erica had to go through. Living her days thinking she was not worthy of saving herself for that special someone. She was looking for love and attention in all the wrong places. She got together with people she didn't truly love and didn't care who or care about herself. Erica felt unloved, unwanted and felt that she had to turn to other ways to forget that she was alone. When she went those ways,she felt ashamed and still lonely . Through Erica's story we see just how an addiction can be right in front of us and so easy to miss or pretend it's not there.
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  • Sharon
    January 1, 1970
    Thank you NetGalley for an advanced readers copy of this book.I thought it was well written, raw and honest. I learned a lot about sex addiction and recovery.I would highly recommend this book to others.
  • Debbie
    January 1, 1970
    Thank you to NetGalley and Simon and Schuster for the ARC of this book in return for my honest review.Honest is the big word that I can use to describe this book. Before reading it, I had no idea what having a sex addiction really meant and what it could really do someone who has that affliction. Garza's autobiography is raw and unflinching. It was really painful to read at times when she described how she continued to spiral into an uncontrolled lifestyle and how she ruined all of her relations Thank you to NetGalley and Simon and Schuster for the ARC of this book in return for my honest review.Honest is the big word that I can use to describe this book. Before reading it, I had no idea what having a sex addiction really meant and what it could really do someone who has that affliction. Garza's autobiography is raw and unflinching. It was really painful to read at times when she described how she continued to spiral into an uncontrolled lifestyle and how she ruined all of her relationships, both sexual and others. It opened up some interesting questions about the accessibility of online porn and how that can affect young adults.
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  • Jen
    January 1, 1970
    I requested this book from NetGalley, intrigued at first by both the title and the cover. When I initially saw the book, a portion of the image wasn't visible and for the life of me I couldn't make out what the image was intended to be. Judging by the title I figured it would be about sex, a generally taboo subject, and porn. Once I received the advance copy, however, I realized it was meant to be a woman's backside. Naked, vulnerable, intimate. And that's exactly what this book is. Garza contin I requested this book from NetGalley, intrigued at first by both the title and the cover. When I initially saw the book, a portion of the image wasn't visible and for the life of me I couldn't make out what the image was intended to be. Judging by the title I figured it would be about sex, a generally taboo subject, and porn. Once I received the advance copy, however, I realized it was meant to be a woman's backside. Naked, vulnerable, intimate. And that's exactly what this book is. Garza continually goes on about how hard she tried to keep this secret from everyone, how hard it was for her to finally open up, and yet she gives the readers an inside look to every single feeling of guilt, shame, and fear that took over her life for close to 20 years. I devoured this book in two sittings. It was incredibly hard to read, I too felt Garza's shame and embarrassment. However, unlike her, I could have turned off my Kindle and stepped away. Reading page after page of horrible decisions, feelings of worthlessness, and emptiness had me wanting to scream at the pages, "Stop doing this to yourself! You are not worthless!" Destroying relationship after relationship, picking at it until they fell apart, then desperately needing to feel loved, to be validated by whoever would give her the time of day - reading all of this was torturous, cringeworthy, so raw that I had to keep reading for the simple hope that she would eventually stop carrying her shame and get better. There are so many books out there about strong, courageous women who have defied the odds, discovered their true selves, and have come to love and accept who they are, usually stemming from a broken heart or some traumatic event. This journey while somewhat similar also deals with the severity of an addiction. And yet despite this, her story still feels relatable. Her feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy are quite common, yet hardly ever discussed and not with this openness.
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  • Jessica Traver cashen
    January 1, 1970
    This is a memoir about a woman's addiction to porn and sex. It is well written, raw, and honest. I commend her for talking about something viewed as taboo. If she writes anything else I would be interested in reading it.
  • Niklas Pivic
    January 1, 1970
    While persons who are not affected by sex addiction can find sex to be sating, loving, and wholesome, a sex addict can find emptiness at the end, merely a road trodded to fill a hole, metaphorically and physically speaking, no pun intended.At thirty years old, at twenty-four, even at twelve, it was impossible for me to think about sexual pleasure without immediately feeling shame. I felt bad about the type of porn I watched. I felt bad sleeping with people I didn’t like. I felt bad because of th While persons who are not affected by sex addiction can find sex to be sating, loving, and wholesome, a sex addict can find emptiness at the end, merely a road trodded to fill a hole, metaphorically and physically speaking, no pun intended.At thirty years old, at twenty-four, even at twelve, it was impossible for me to think about sexual pleasure without immediately feeling shame. I felt bad about the type of porn I watched. I felt bad sleeping with people I didn’t like. I felt bad because of the thoughts I feasted on when I was having sex with people I genuinely loved. For as far back as I can remember this is just the way it was. My sexual habits were sick and shameful. My thoughts were sick and shameful. I was sick and shameful.Myself, I'm reserved when divulging my sex life, but Garza is not, which is for the better in this book. Just like seeing Steve McQueen's excellent film "Shame", one quickly reads through this book and knows that its contents are not sexually arousing but symptoms of what occurs in Garza's life. Bar the start of this book, it is chronologically written. As such, her growing up, the introduction of Internet that projects her extremely quickly into hypersexuality, her first relationships, her short sentences that describes self-damaging behaviours, it all bears the hallmarks of simplistically describing situations that have happened, á la Lisa Carver in her diaries.When other addicts shared about porn addiction, my ears always perked up. Porn kept us from engaging with the world. Porn distorted our perception, not just of sex, but of everything. Something so simple, like standing in an elevator with other people, or brushing up against another body on the subway, or exchanging money with a supermarket clerk—anything really—could quickly be turned into a pornographic scene by our trained, overstimulated minds. We felt numb to touch and always craved more of it. We were impatient and disinterested with a situation unless it was leading to sex. We were never really satisfied with the act of sex—it could always be better—and when it was over, we quickly wanted to discard the person. Their use was diminished. Our use was diminished.Her descriptions of being a sex addict leaves me with the sense of what I felt when watching "Shame" for the first time. Still, this is not a hopeless nor a shocker of a book. It's a description of a life—which has yet to reach midlife—and the haunts that come with sex addiction. This is a very easy read, even though the stories affected me; at times, I was a little jolted, but mostly I kept hoping for Garza to feel a lot better in the end; naturally this is something that can be felt for every human being.
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