Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions
From the best-selling author of Americanah and We Should All Be Feminists comes a powerful new statement about feminism today--written as a letter to a friend. A few years ago, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie received a letter from a dear friend from childhood, asking her how to raise her baby girl as a feminist. Dear Ijeawele is Adichie's letter of response.Here are fifteen invaluable suggestions--compelling, direct, wryly funny, and perceptive--for how to empower a daughter to become a strong, independent woman. From encouraging her to choose a helicopter, and not only a doll, as a toy if she so desires; having open conversations with her about clothes, makeup, and sexuality; debunking the myth that women are somehow biologically arranged to be in the kitchen making dinner, and that men can "allow" women to have full careers, Dear Ijeawele goes right to the heart of sexual politics in the twenty-first century. It will start a new and urgently needed conversation about what it really means to be a woman today.

Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions Details

TitleDear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions
Author
LanguageEnglish
ReleaseMar 7th, 2017
PublisherKnopf Publishing Group
ISBN-139781524733131
Rating
GenreNonfiction, Feminism, Writing, Essays

Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions Review

  • Emily May
    January 1, 1970
    Your feminist premise should be: I matter. I matter equally. Not “if only.” Not “as long as.” I matter equally. Full stop. I honestly cannot think of any author who writes essays as equally hard-hitting and utterly readable as Adichie does. Perhaps Roxane Gay's work could be said to be as compelling, or Ta-Nehisi Coates's work to be as powerful, but Adichie always comes out on top, for me, as someone who can write about important subjects with a conversational tone that makes them pageturners.T Your feminist premise should be: I matter. I matter equally. Not “if only.” Not “as long as.” I matter equally. Full stop. I honestly cannot think of any author who writes essays as equally hard-hitting and utterly readable as Adichie does. Perhaps Roxane Gay's work could be said to be as compelling, or Ta-Nehisi Coates's work to be as powerful, but Adichie always comes out on top, for me, as someone who can write about important subjects with a conversational tone that makes them pageturners.This latest essay is a letter Adichie wrote to a friend who asked for advice on how to raise her daughter as a feminist. It touches on so many different things, from the role of fathers: And please reject the language of help. Chudi is not “helping” you by caring for his child. He is doing what he should. When we say fathers are “helping,” we are suggesting that child care is a mother’s territory, into which fathers valiantly venture. It is not. To self-worth, standards of beauty, and double standards: Teach her that if you criticize X in women but do not criticize X in men, then you do not have a problem with X, you have a problem with women. I found it extremely powerful and moving. Adichie's style is simple and accessible and, in fact, she herself criticizes the tendency of feminists to use jargon like "misogyny" and "patriarchy" without explaining how this applies in human terms. Even I have a tendency to write in a less personal manner about "serious" books. My tone becomes more aloof, less emotive, I think. So I'll try to take Adichie's advice and put forward my review in human, non-jargony terms: This essay really affected me personally. I got goosebumps when Adichie talked about the necessity of celebrating difference. And I felt deeply touched, even as an adult who doesn't really qualify as a "girl" anymore, by this: “Because you are a girl” is never a reason for anything. Ever. Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Youtube
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  • Ariel
    January 1, 1970
    I wanted to write a review about how wonderful this book is, but instead I think I need to tell you how necessary this book is.About two months ago I met with Penguin who asked me if I'd do a sponsored video for this book. Having loved We Should All Be Feminists I was thrilled to work with them, and after reading this glorious little manifesto I agreed. (They sponsored that video and supplied me with the book, but this review is unrelated... I'm two months late, after all!) I got excited to make I wanted to write a review about how wonderful this book is, but instead I think I need to tell you how necessary this book is.About two months ago I met with Penguin who asked me if I'd do a sponsored video for this book. Having loved We Should All Be Feminists I was thrilled to work with them, and after reading this glorious little manifesto I agreed. (They sponsored that video and supplied me with the book, but this review is unrelated... I'm two months late, after all!) I got excited to make a video about what passages most spoke to me and to share personal experiences and thoughts I've had to do with feminism. And so I did just that and shared my video... and what came next I was naive enough to not foresee.I was flooded with comments from people who not only disagreed with my feminism, but who thought I shouldn't exist because of it. People who started to tell me that they hoped I never "tricked a man into dating me so that I never reproduce." It was the kind of infamous "YouTube Hate" that I rarely see since I run a channel about books. What struck me was that I considered what I'd said in the video to be extremely tame. I specifically wanted to highlight that what feels most prescient to me about feminism is simply choice. In my video I mention my relationship to makeup and to bras and how I wish they felt more like an option and less like an expectation. That's not a huge statement, right? Apparently it is. And so, fascinatingly, sharing my review heightened my appreciation for this book and even added an urgency to my understanding of it. It's beautifully measured and clever and I really think you should read it.My video review: https://youtu.be/LJf-am8WUPw
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  • Emily (Books with Emily Fox)
    January 1, 1970
    Teach her that if you criticize X in women but do not criticize X in men, then you do not have a problem with X, you have a problem with women.I'm actually mad that I have to return this book to the library. I need to own this book. The author has such a way with words. She states her opinion in a matter of fact and simple way. I wish I were able to do the same but I'll have to content myself with using her quotes!It warms my cold dead heart to know that women like her exist out there in the wor Teach her that if you criticize X in women but do not criticize X in men, then you do not have a problem with X, you have a problem with women.I'm actually mad that I have to return this book to the library. I need to own this book. The author has such a way with words. She states her opinion in a matter of fact and simple way. I wish I were able to do the same but I'll have to content myself with using her quotes!It warms my cold dead heart to know that women like her exist out there in the world.
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  • Nat
    January 1, 1970
    After having seen the scene below shared online, which was taken from this powerful short film, I immediately wanted to absorb myself in some much needed feminist literature. At which point I recalled the existence of Dear Ijeawele, which I'd gratefully received as an ARC.*Trigger warning: rape.* In We Should All be Feminists, her eloquently argued and much admired essay of 2014, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie proposed that if we want a fairer world we need to raise our sons and daughters dif After having seen the scene below shared online, which was taken from this powerful short film, I immediately wanted to absorb myself in some much needed feminist literature. At which point I recalled the existence of Dear Ijeawele, which I'd gratefully received as an ARC.*Trigger warning: rape.* In We Should All be Feminists, her eloquently argued and much admired essay of 2014, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie proposed that if we want a fairer world we need to raise our sons and daughters differently. Here, in this remarkable new book, Adichie replies by letter to a friend’s request for help on how to bring up her newborn baby girl as a feminist. With its fifteen pieces of practical advice it goes right to the heart of sexual politics in the twenty-first century.Discussing feminism, love, bodies, gender roles, marriage, rejecting likability, racism, sexism, white-privilege, privilege and inequality, body-image insecurities, female sexuality, periods, oppression, and so much more. “Where has this been all my life” was how I felt when I finished. A truly revolutionary book with a handful of innovative quotes that I'd liked to share next:“Your feminist premise should be: I matter. I matter equally. Not ‘if only’. Not ‘as long as’. I matter equally. Full stop.”“But here is a sad truth: our world is full of men and women who do not like powerful women. We have been so conditioned to think of power as male that a powerful woman is an aberration.”“Teach her that if you criticize X in women but do not criticize X in men, then you do not have a problem with X, you have a problem with women.”The above completely changed the way I perceive things. “Tell her that her body belongs to her and her alone, that she should never feel the need to say yes to something she does not want, or something she feels pressured to do. Teach her that saying no when no feels right is something to be proud of.”All of the above feels both so personally and universally relevant. And after having completed Dear Ijeawele in one sitting, I have one last thing to say: MY HEART IS SO FULL AND GRATEFUL THAT THIS EXISTS.ARC kindly provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.Expected publication: March 7th, 2017 Note: I'm an Amazon Affiliate. If you're interested in buying Dear Ijeawele, just click on the image below to go through my link. I'll make a small commission! Support creators you love. Buy a Coffee for nat (bookspoils) with Ko-fi.com/bookspoils This review and more can be found on my blog.
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  • Lola
    January 1, 1970
    I used to not understand why I am so opinionated, assertive and determined to be right. I am not kidding, I once was the exact replica of Hermione Granger personality-wise. I cared so much (and still do). Now I understand I have to pick my battles, but I thought maybe I was acting that way because I felt I had something to prove or was an attention-seeker.Then my brother told me a story about my young self. I was four or five. My brother, grandmother and I were outside on the streets, spending t I used to not understand why I am so opinionated, assertive and determined to be right. I am not kidding, I once was the exact replica of Hermione Granger personality-wise. I cared so much (and still do). Now I understand I have to pick my battles, but I thought maybe I was acting that way because I felt I had something to prove or was an attention-seeker.Then my brother told me a story about my young self. I was four or five. My brother, grandmother and I were outside on the streets, spending time with other kids. I had a lovely dress on and I was twirling, watching my dress fly around me. My grandmother was watching me, smiling, and my brother was probably playing with a stick somewhere close. I paid him no mind, as usual. (Love you, B!)Then a woman joined us and she brought with her a platter of apple-pie slices. We all ran to her, myself included. I took a piece, and after finishing it, I told the woman, ‘‘This is good, but my mom does better pies.’’ I was a kid. I didn’t understand I was being impolite. Still today, I don’t always have a filter (as you probably know if you’ve read some of my previous reviews), but I’m much more considerate of other people’s feelings.But the woman, who was my grandmother’s friend, didn’t take it the wrong way. She said, ‘‘Really, I don’t believe you!’’ though really she was joking. So I replied, ‘‘I’m telling you! Look, I’ll bring you one of my mom’s pies and you bring me one of yours.’’When my brother told me this story, I laughed so hard. I couldn’t believe four/five-year-old me had done something like that. My brother thought it was super funny also, ‘‘Already at four you were ever the negotiator.’’ That made me realize, hey, I was born this way. I was born with this assertiveness, this necessity to share my opinions and believe in them strongly. I was born this way so I better accept it and put it to good use, like I am doing on this site.I didn’t mean to make this story the focus of my review of this essay/letter. I planned on talking to you about the importance of education, seeing that the author repeatedly comes back to it, and it’s true that your greatest weapon will always be your mind, your knowledge. I shared this story because if four-year-old me hadn’t believed so strongly in herself, if people around her, who did not enjoy her loudness, had succeeded in taking that fire away from her, today I would not studying at Canada’s #1 university, in a language that is not my first, nor second. When I told my mom I wanted to study at an Anglophone school, she said I wouldn’t like it. She said it was too far. Some of my friends, who loved English as well, were afraid that they would struggle doing assignments in this language that they didn’t master perfectly. (Well, neither did I.)But my gut was telling me it was the right choice, and it was.Although this is unfortunate, what I’m saying is trust yourself because NO ONE else will believe in you as fervently as you can. Do not ask men if you are pretty or smart. You do not need their validation. You have eyes—you can see. If they tell you without your asking, say, ‘‘thank you,’’ don’t say, ‘‘Really, you think so??’’ Confidence and modesty are extremely attractive qualities. About a year ago, I had a conversation with a guy that went like this:Me: Hey what’s your final R score? [like GPA but for cegep]Him: It’s 3.3, you?Me: Omg, mine too! Haha that’s cool, means we’re equally intelligent!Him: Are you sure about that?That actually happened. I can’t make this up, not at this late hour anyway. He never said he was kidding, I thought he was, but he never explicitly said it and why would you say something like that if you didn’t believe you were superior to the other person? Needless to say, I didn’t date that guy, even if he asked me out… twice. I learned from that. I don’t ask people I’m not close to about their grades anymore and usually I only ask them if they’re happy with what they got, just so we can discuss whether we believe the assignment was graded fairly or harshly. Do not let men tell you what you can and can’t do. You can ask for advice, that means you are exploring alternatives and are seeking different opinions, but in the end you must be the one to decide. A beautifully-written feminist essay that I think everyone should read. Blog | Youtube | Twitter | Instagram | Google+ | Bloglovin’
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  • Warda
    January 1, 1970
    “The knowledge of cooking does not come pre-installed in a vagina.” Chimamanda just can't do no wrong! I had the honour and the absolute pleasure of seeing and hearing her in person over the weekend in London. As expected, the event was just spectacular. This book originated and was inspired by a friend of Chimamanda's who asked her ‘how to raise her baby girl as a feminist.’ The book is short, sweet and ridiculously impactful. The above quote is my favourite alongside many others. As she is “The knowledge of cooking does not come pre-installed in a vagina.” Chimamanda just can't do no wrong! I had the honour and the absolute pleasure of seeing and hearing her in person over the weekend in London. As expected, the event was just spectacular. This book originated and was inspired by a friend of Chimamanda's who asked her ‘how to raise her baby girl as a feminist.’ The book is short, sweet and ridiculously impactful. The above quote is my favourite alongside many others. As she is a WOC who speaks on feminism (and more) and as I find her cultural traits more relatable and similar to mine, I love and admire how she continues to advocate for equality and fights to break down the barriers of everything that contributes to sexism, whilst simultaneously empowering women to be who it is they want to be. Not only did I feel content reading this book, the concept of feminism was ingrained in me even more. And as someone who was slightly reluctant to accept the term, because of the ignorant, but common connotations and how in its origin, it catered to white women, I fully embrace the term now. At its root, it's about equality. Simple. For men and women. And though it's to educate all, it's more so effective on women. I can't help but feel glorious and powerful about myself, who I am as a person and to not back down on my values and my beliefs and what my gut instinct has been telling me for so long after reading this book. There's a certain 'aura' that she exudes in her writing (and in person), which you can't help but fall for, and commands full attention and concentration. I'm under a spell. I was positively beaming whilst reading the book.But why should I read it, I hear you say? Because this book is basically a massive f*** you to the cultural garb that has defined our societal standards and norms. Because this book is about being selfish in the sense that it is about self-acceptance, becoming your own person, and focusing on your wants and needs first and not tolerating bullshit. Difference. Diversity.I cannot get enough of her work and could read/listen to her forever. Though it's approximate 60 pages long, it's thought-provoking and it's the type of read that'll linger for a while. I know it's a book I'll constantly be referring to.
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  • jessica
    January 1, 1970
    ‘your feminist premise should be: i matter. i matter equally. not ‘if only…’ not ‘as long as…’ i matter equally. full stop.’ once again, adichie is the voice of reason and the feminist icon we all deserve. i dont annotate my books but, if i did, i can guarantee nearly every single word of truth in this tiny gem of a book would be highlighted and underlined. there is so much wisdom and significance nestled into this letter that i am of the strong opinion this should be mandatory reading for anyo ‘your feminist premise should be: i matter. i matter equally. not ‘if only…’ not ‘as long as…’ i matter equally. full stop.’ once again, adichie is the voice of reason and the feminist icon we all deserve. i dont annotate my books but, if i did, i can guarantee nearly every single word of truth in this tiny gem of a book would be highlighted and underlined. there is so much wisdom and significance nestled into this letter that i am of the strong opinion this should be mandatory reading for anyone and everyone. but most of all, its a must read for all the strong women of the world - may we know them, may we be them, may we raise them. <3↠ 4.5 stars
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  • Sean Barrs the Bookdragon
    January 1, 1970
    “Teach her to love books. If she sees you reading she will understand that reading is valuable. Books will help her understand the world, help her express herself, and help her in whatever she wants to become.” Reading, reading is so vitally important in understanding other people and differences. It develops empathy and it makes the world a better place. We should never restrict ourselves in life, men or women, it doesn’t matter as long as we do not full victim to the silly constraints impos “Teach her to love books. If she sees you reading she will understand that reading is valuable. Books will help her understand the world, help her express herself, and help her in whatever she wants to become.” Reading, reading is so vitally important in understanding other people and differences. It develops empathy and it makes the world a better place. We should never restrict ourselves in life, men or women, it doesn’t matter as long as we do not full victim to the silly constraints imposed upon us by society. Books help so much. As with We Should All Be Feminists Adichie proposes positive change moving forward. However, with this also came a personal touch. This was never written to be published, but was instead a letter written to her friend (Ijeawele) offering honest advice on how to make her daughter into a feminist and a better human being. “Teach her that the idea of 'gender roles' is absolute nonsense. Do not ever tell her that she should or should not do something because she is a girl. 'Because you are a girl' is never reason for anything. Ever.” With it came experience and the suffering of living in a world that alters people’s minds. Growing up, Adichie and her friend had to learn the hard way. They had the pre-installed cultural mind-set that made them feel and act as if they were less than men. They felt like they could not do certain things and had to behave in “appropriate” ways. It took years for Adichie to gain the confidence to question her situation and tackle it head on. What she offers her friend in fifteen suggestions is an easier route: to grow up in a society knowing her rights. I’ve decided that I really, really, need to read one of her novels after this. I love the message she imparts and it will be interesting to see if this carries over into her fiction.
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  • Brina
    January 1, 1970
    Dear Ijeawele by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is a letter she wrote to a close friend who has just given birth to a daughter. The friend has asked her to describe how to raise the daughter to be a feminist in Nigeria, a male centered country. Spelling out how to raise a feminist daughter in fifteen steps, this letter can be viewed as a companion piece to We Should All be Feminists and a manifesto of how to raise all children to view all people with respect. Even though I recently read We Should All Dear Ijeawele by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is a letter she wrote to a close friend who has just given birth to a daughter. The friend has asked her to describe how to raise the daughter to be a feminist in Nigeria, a male centered country. Spelling out how to raise a feminist daughter in fifteen steps, this letter can be viewed as a companion piece to We Should All be Feminists and a manifesto of how to raise all children to view all people with respect. Even though I recently read We Should All be Feminists, I found that Adichie had offered some new points to ponder, starting from the child's birth. Both parents have made the decision to bring a child into the world, so, as a result, the father should not view child care as babysitting. Rather, anything he contributes to raising his child should be viewed as equal to the mother's work. Unfortunately, society as a whole does not see things from this light, and Adichie urges open minded people to change this. She goes on to state that children should not be conditioned to like a certain type of toy or play. From day one, girls are told to wear pink and play with dolls, whereas boys are told to wear blue and play with cars. If a girl chooses to play sports or be a princess, either is acceptable in this new world view, the same as if a boy would like to draw rather than play a police game. Adichie advances her views on child raising through adolescence in hopes that girls are not ashamed of their bodies and that they should still enjoy the same activities that they did when they were younger. Raising a child does not end at adolescence, so Adichie takes her readers through marriage. I found her points uplifting but most were pointed at Nigeria, which is still a male-centric society. From reading her other books, I have found that in Nigeria women oftentimes can not walk into a restaurant without a man and that Igbo women have few rights if at all. Adichie is urging the younger generations to change the older, tribal beliefs, even if it is one step at a time. By beginning from birth, she hopes that eventually this culture will change for the better and respect women and men equally. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is becoming a favorite author of mine and also a leading feminist voice internationally. I think this manifesto is something that all expectant parents should read so that their children start out with a clean slate. I would hope that later editions could be published together with We Should All Be Feminists because both are equally important. I look forward to the next time I take the time to read Adichie's work, 4 stars.
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  • Mia Nauca
    January 1, 1970
    Quiero que todos lean este libro. La manera de escribir de Chimamanda es increíble: expresa sus ideas de manera clara y concisa pero sobre todo es cálida y enriquecedora; me ha dejado con ganas de leer más de ella. Y lo haré, muy pronto.
  • Evgnossia O'Hara
    January 1, 1970
    Your feminist premise should be: I matter. I matter equally. Not “if only.” Not “as long as.” I matter equally. Full stop. And this is all I'm gonna mention here!Spectacular!Read it!
  • Emer
    January 1, 1970
    "Teach her that the idea of 'gender roles' is absolute nonsense. Do not ever tell her that she should or should not do something because she is a girl. 'Because you are a girl' is never reason for anything. Ever.""If we don't place the straitjacket of gender roles on young children, we give them space to reach their full potential."It feels very appropriate to be writing this review on International Women's Day 2017. Some years ago Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie was asked by a friend how she should ra "Teach her that the idea of 'gender roles' is absolute nonsense. Do not ever tell her that she should or should not do something because she is a girl. 'Because you are a girl' is never reason for anything. Ever.""If we don't place the straitjacket of gender roles on young children, we give them space to reach their full potential."It feels very appropriate to be writing this review on International Women's Day 2017. Some years ago Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie was asked by a friend how she should raise her baby daughter as a feminist. Most likely due to the amazing public talk and essay that she had given in 2013.Adichie's response was in letter format and this short book is an enhanced version of that letter to her friend. As anyone who is familiar with me on Goodreads knows, I am a huge fan of Adichie's novels. I think they are outstanding and that she is a writer fully deserving of all the high praise she receives. I am also, or I should qualify that and say, I have in the past been somewhat of a reluctant feminist. I have always struggled with the negative connotations that have been placed on the terminology associated with feminism. You can see my review for We Should All Be Feminists where I tried to explain my struggles (read it here). However, I have educated myself to see how wrong I was. Feminism isn't some sort of man-excluding idea. Feminism is about equality. Equal rights. No differences based on gender. I don't always get things right. I am hopelessly flawed but by reading books and essays such as this one I am recalibrating my points of reference. I am learning to see the ingrained and accepted detrimental inequalities in society today and I am changing myself for the better. Change always starts from within right?The abiding message I got from this book is one of self- acceptance and it taught me this incredibly valuable tool for myself. Your feminist premise should be: I matter. I matter equally. Not 'if only'. Not 'as long as'. I matter equally. Full stop. This was huge for me this week in particular. It talks to self-worth and acknowledgment of being, which is something I am currently struggling with. This book may initially propose how to raise a child with the correct feminist tools and that sense of equality. But it goes beyond that for me. It teaches the adult how to teach the child by simply just teaching the adult... By giving them the tools. "...above all, let your focus be on remaining a full person. Take time for yourself. Nurture your own needs. Please do not think of it as 'doing it all'. Our culture celebrates the idea of women who are able to 'do it all' but does not question the premise of that praise. I have no interest in the debate about women doing it all because it is a debate that assumes that caregiving and domestic work are singularly female domains, an idea that I strongly reject. Domestic work and caregiving should be gender-neutral, and we should be asking not whether a woman can 'do it all' but how best to support parents in their dual duties at work and at home." I could quote from this book all day. It is just that fabulous. There is something to learn, and gain insight from, on every page. It is so beautifully written with both wisdom and humour that as a reader you are immediately captivated by the words and then to discover that those words come together to create this beautiful testimony of the truths behind feminism and the struggle for gender equality... It is a breathtaking and immensely inspiring read. I would love to make reference to what Adichie terms 'feminism lite'. She calls it 'the idea of conditional female equality'.This was such an eye opener for someone like me and illustrates the connotations of what we mean when we use the language of allowing . Adichie contrasts how a husband allows his successful wife to shine whereas a wife supports her husband or is behind him when he shines.I don't know why I never thought about these different ways of viewing successful women and successful men. Needing to be allowed to do something and thereby given permission calls to mind an unequal relationship such as teacher/student. And most definitely not a marriage of equals. "Because when there is true equality, resentment does not exist."I would urge everyone irregardless of your gender, sexual identification, parental status, age or creed to pick up this book. Because it contains simple truths. Simple truths by which we should try to live our lives by. Adichie is not a perfect human being, she fully recognises that herself. But she is unashamed to be herself. Does not feel the need to be liked or to conform to how anyone thinks she should conform. This is such an admirable quality and one that I am attempting to instil within myself. She recently gave a wonderful interview to the Guardian Newspaper group and I think that anyone reading my review should take the time to read it and to hear what Adichie has to say herself. You can read it plus an extract from the book HERE.The last passage I wish to quote from is so beautifully framed that I don't think I need to add anything to it. "Teach her about difference. Make difference ordinary. Make difference normal. Teach her not to attach value to difference. And the reason for this is not to be fair or to be nice but merely to be human and practical. Because difference is the reality of our world. And by teaching her about difference, you are equipping her to survive in a diverse world. She must know and understand that people walk different paths in the world and that as long as those paths do no harm to others, they are valid paths that she must respect. Teach her that we do not know – we cannot know – everything about life. Both religion and science have spaces for the things we do not know, and it is enough to make peace with that. Teach her never to universalise her own standards or experiences. Teach her that her standards are for her alone, and not for other people. This is the only necessary form of humility: the realisation that difference is normal." The book ends with the same wish that we all share for ourselves, for our friends and family, and for the world at large: to be happy and healthy. And for our lives to be whatever we want them to be. four and a half stars rounded up to five -------Initial feelings after my first read:Since I finished Carve the Mark late on Sunday I have been unable to read another page of any of my books. Despite my preparedness and being aware of its possible issues, ultimately it took a lot out of me. I was feeling that ominous presence of a book slump lurking somewhere near by...Then I looked at the calendar. March 7th.Why did that mean something to me????BECAUSE IT IS THE RELEASE DAY OF ADICHIE'S NEWEST WRITING!!!!!! And all is right with the world again.I've already read it through once and it is glorious in its simplicity, its wisdom and its practicality. I'm about to read it again and will review it properly thereafter.
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  • s.penkevich
    January 1, 1970
    ‘Because social norms are created by human beings...there is no social norm that cannot be changed.’We’ve all heard the maxim that ‘change starts with you,’ which is something we must all take to heart and shoulder the responsibility. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, author of the powerful novel Americanah and the powerful TedTalk We Should All Be Feminists, reminds parents how important the idea of change beginning with them is in her letter to a close friend, recently revised and published as Dear Ij ‘Because social norms are created by human beings...there is no social norm that cannot be changed.’We’ve all heard the maxim that ‘change starts with you,’ which is something we must all take to heart and shoulder the responsibility. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, author of the powerful novel Americanah and the powerful TedTalk We Should All Be Feminists, reminds parents how important the idea of change beginning with them is in her letter to a close friend, recently revised and published as Dear Ijeawle, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions. The advice, while geared toward raising a daughter in the modern world, is not limited in its audience to female bearing parents--or even to parents in general--but to all of us. The messages inside, told in casual yet puissant prose that is sure to rattle in any reader’s heart, mind and soul are salient advice towards creating a better, more equal and understanding world. On first glance, the ideas discussed seem fairly obvious and anyone who has embraced feminism--and I hope you have--won’t find anything completely groundbreaking, but the fact that there are those that need a reminder of these or an introduction to these ideas is why books like this exist. It is frightening to think this is a world where the ideas within the book aren’t already a cultural norm, but that is precisely why it is so important to spread and share the knowledge. Adichie’s advice should be carefully considered and constantly echoing in your mind when raising a child, engaging in a romantic relationship or simply interacting in society.‘My friend sent me a reply saying she would “try” to follow my suggestions.And in rereading these as a mother, I, too, am determined to try.’We must all be determined to try. It may seem difficult--there are still those who claim the gender wage gap is a myth--especially considering society has been built on an obdurate male culture that will fight tooth and nail to retain their hold. Even language is full of gender pitfalls as the history of language is a long history of misogyny. Adichie addresses many of these issues and offers a helpful guide to navigating them. The back dust jacket does a fairly accurate job of summing up her main points:All of these are ideas to take to heart. Particularly around children, as we must remember that children learn how to approach the world by watching us and those around them as role models. Adichie goes right to infancy to address a few problematic behaviors, such as how in play groups: mothers of baby girls were very restraining, constantly telling the girls ‘don’t touch’ or ‘stop and be nice,’ and she noticed that the baby boys were not restrained as much and were almost never told to ‘be nice.’ Adichie notes that ‘parents unconsciously start very early to teach girls how to be, that baby girls are given less room and more rules and baby boys more room and fewer rules.’ This sort of early guidance into the world begins a chain of behaviors that becomes very difficult to unlearn and sets girls up to feel they must be restrained their whole lives, and this is a problem. We cannot teach girls to fold themselves in and make way for boys, as much as we cannot teach boys that they have a dominant rule of the playroom and, therefore, world. The idea that ‘boys will be boys’, which is applied to a dangerously vast array of behaviors from roughhousing to sexual lusts, is an idea that must be stomped out like a cigarette butt. It gives a lower set of standards to boys and is a dangerous pass in the world. Concepts such as this allowed people to dismiss accusations of sexual assault as mere ‘locker room talk’ (another horrifically misogynist phrase that gives a pass to repulsive behavior) because ‘boys will be boys’.Adichie also brings up the problems of gendering toys and clothing. Why is ‘gender neutral’ it’s own category, she asks, even when toddler boys and girls have practically the same bodies. In fact, the idea of blue for boys and pink for girls has slowly become ingrained into society by misogynistic marketing schemes that began in the early 19th century¹ Furthermore, with regard to clothing, Adichie cautions against referring to clothing or fashion styles as immoral ‘because clothes have absolutely nothing to do with morality.’ She suggests constructive advice such as how it doesn’t or does suit them but never to refer to them as ‘looking like a prostitute.’ Many cultures and religions control women’s bodies in one way or another...the reason is not about women, but about men. Women must be ‘covered up’ to protect men. I find this deeply dehumanizing because it reduces women to mere props used to manage the appetites of men. This plays into the reprehensible ‘boys will be boys’ idea again--that males cannot control their sexual urges and it is women's responsibility to dress themselves accordingly. This is downright disgusting. Adichie notes that many cultures like a woman to be sexy but never sexual while never setting a similar standard for the sexual behavior of men. That male sexuality is seen as normal with all the high-fives and bullshit bravado and female sexuality is met with shaming and jeers is something we must not stand for. ‘Feminism and femininity are not mutually exclusive,’ Adichie says, and a female must not feel ashamed for taking pride in their appearance or body. Shaming women for their style of dress has me at all times one snappy retort away from declaring overgrown beards as a phallic symbol of maleness--society judges women for body hair but not men--and therefore overtly misogynistic. It doesn't feel so good when turned around does it?Returning to damaging gender norms, Adichie also notes that toys marketed to boys tend to be more mobile “doing” type toys while girl’s are more static, like dolls or playing-house. Here’s a helpful guide for deciding the gender of toys:Jokes aside, we must remove gender roles from toys. We do children, and society, a great disservice by upholding this tradition. Recently a friend recounted that while watching his young relatives he allowed the boy to get the ‘girls’ McDonald Happy Meal because it was a toy they would rather play with. Upon returning the children to their parents, he was met with disgust that he would allow their son to play with a girl’s toy. My friend was understandably taken aback and shocked that this belief hadn’t withered away by 2017. Another anecdote: During my many years working for Barnes and Noble I once had a customer who was irritated that we didn’t have ‘boy books and girl books’ in separate sections. She was relatively outraged by my response that books aren’t gendered, that it would be offensive and would result in massive lawsuits and protests. If a boy wants to read Angelina Ballerina, why not? If a girl is into Thomas the Train, encourage it. My daughter is currently mid-series in Chronicles of Narnia and it seems disingenuous to label that as a ‘gender neutral’ series. Especially as the term ‘gender neutral’ comes loaded with outdated and facetious gender roles that do more harm than good. Teach her to question language. Language is the repository of our prejudices, our beliefs, our assumptions. It is only by questioning language, and the impetus behind words, that we can re-harness language and reshape our society. Language is our greatest tool to assess, address and affect the world around us. Remember that words come bearing connotative weight that can be detrimental even despite our best intentions. Adichie highlights the term ‘princess’ for girls which, she says, ‘is loaded with assumptions of a girl’s delicacy, of the prince who will come to save her, etc.’ Adichie prefers the term ‘angel’, though personally I use ‘Queen’ or ‘heroine’ with my own daughter (a favourite game of ours is for me to hide in a play structure--the castle--and she is the princess that has to rescue the knight. Admittedly it’s a good excuse for me to sit and relax awhile until she finds me, but I like to think it gives agency to the role of a princess). Child rearing isn’t the only topic of this book, though it is an overarching thread. Marriage and relationships are under her scrutiny as well. Marriage must never be seen as a reward, she cautions. Adichie questions the effect on society when we teach girls to aspire to marriage, to win a husband, to please a husband, but don’t impose the same beliefs of boys (not that we should, her argument is that these teachings are problematic). There is a terrible imbalance from the start. The girls will grow up to be women preoccupied with marriage. The boys will grow up to be men who are not….The women marry these men. The relationship is automatically uneven because the institution matters more to one than the other. Is it any wonder that...women sacrifice more, at a loss to themselves, because they have to constantly maintain an uneven exchange? Adichie asks for a balance in marriage and addresses the language used in it. A father is never ‘babysitting’ or ‘helping’ the mother, no, he is doing his duty as a father. The duties must be shared and not done resentfully so--like any instructional on love would suggest. ‘When there is true equality, resentment does not exist.’ We must also not refer to women as being ‘allowed’ to do things by the man. She cites many examples of this in society. Adichie continues to focus on working women, the philosophy behind names, and the idea of keeping family members around that project positive non-gender-normative roles for the child to aspire to. This goes for both boys and girls.What is most important in this book is Adichie’s ‘Feminist Tools’. The first is ‘I matter. I matter equally. Not “if only”. Not “as long as.” I matter equally. Full stop.’ The second tool follows in the form of a question. ‘Can you reverse X and get the same result.’ This second tool is the crux of many of her arguments. She shows countless examples of an inequality between gender norms. What we accept as normal in a man we often scorn in a women. A domineering man is powerful and given promotions or political positions yet we have a whole language of insults to hold back domineering women. We rarely judge a man by his style of dress but frequently assess a woman by that very thing. And have marketing campaigns that only bolster it. Here is a sad truth: Our world is full of men and women who do not like powerful women. We have been so conditioned to think of power as male that a powerful woman is an aberration. And so she is policed. We ask of powerful women: Is she humble? Does she smile? Is she grateful enough? Does she have a domestic side? Questions we do not ask of powerful men, which shows that our discomfort is not with power itself, but with women. Adiche also strongly cautions against the idea of ‘Feminism Lite,’ which amounts to a misunderstanding of what feminism is. I would argue that this also applies to much of the feminism of the white-privilege bent that ignores intersectionality. While many women made great strides for feminism in the past decades, by modern standards it often reeks of privilege. This is another thing to avoid.A Feminist Manifesto is an utterly engaging read that goes down in a single sitting but will last with you a lifetime. Adichie is charming, witty and humorous that makes her messages digestible and leave you wanting more. There are far more issues discussed in this slim book than I have mentioned, and I urge you to pick it up and read it. We must be the change we seek in the world. It starts with you, how you treat your partner, raise your children, interact with friends or society, Feminism isn’t only about educating women, it is about education all of us.4.5/5‘Of course I am angry. I am angry about racism. I am angry about sexism. But I recently came to the realization that I am angrier about sexism...because in my anger about sexism, I often feel lonely. Because I love, and live among, many people who easily acknowledge race injustice but not gender injustice.’¹ For an interesting look at the marketing campaigns that bolstered the idea of blue/pink as gendered infant clothing, please read the following articles fromThe Smithsonian and Jezebel
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  • Carol (Bookaria)
    January 1, 1970
    Here's a very short book with a lot of wisdom.Just because it's short it does not mean it is a light read, not at all.Years ago, the author received a letter from a childhood friend who had just given birth to a baby girl. In the letter, her friend asks Chimamanda for advise on how to raise her daughter as a feminist. Oh boy, and did she deliver a response. You know she did.The book is divided in small chapters and in each chapter there's a suggestion or topic from the author. The topics range f Here's a very short book with a lot of wisdom.Just because it's short it does not mean it is a light read, not at all.Years ago, the author received a letter from a childhood friend who had just given birth to a baby girl. In the letter, her friend asks Chimamanda for advise on how to raise her daughter as a feminist. Oh boy, and did she deliver a response. You know she did.The book is divided in small chapters and in each chapter there's a suggestion or topic from the author. The topics range from gender-neutral clothes to virginity, careers, gender roles and much more. This is an excellent book on women's rights and advocacy for equality among the sexes.  I enjoyed it, learned from it and recommend it to all.
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  • Ilenia Zodiaco
    January 1, 1970
    Spunti di riflessione concreti, pragmatici e chiari su quanto sia necessario il femminismo per una società giusta e una vita più felice. Utile anche per chi ha dei dubbi su femminismo "buono" e femminismo "cattivo". P.S. Adesso non ho più scuse per non leggere "dovremmo essere tutti femministi".
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  • Riley
    January 1, 1970
    This might have been even better than 'We Should All Be Feminists' which I loved a lot. I found myself nodding along to everything Adichie was saying. This is largely focused on motherhood, gender roles, and how to raise your child to be a feminist.
  • Whitney Atkinson
    January 1, 1970
    This book was so quotable. Very short but very powerful; I highlighted pretty much every other line. I don't intend on having kids, but this made me think a lot about how we train girls and boys to be and the gender roles we should avoid them adopting, and it was very empowering and great advice.
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  • Raeleen Lemay
    January 1, 1970
    Read for Popsugar's 2018 Reading Challenge: A Book by an author of a different ethnicity than youI've never read anything by Adichie until now, so I had no idea how beautiful her writing would be. I mean, I've read all of the glowing reviews for Americanah, but for some reason I wasn't expecting it. As for the content on this book, I was in love with the way Adichie thinks and how clearly and concisely she gets her thoughts across in writing. I was able to speed through this book pretty quickly Read for Popsugar's 2018 Reading Challenge: A Book by an author of a different ethnicity than youI've never read anything by Adichie until now, so I had no idea how beautiful her writing would be. I mean, I've read all of the glowing reviews for Americanah, but for some reason I wasn't expecting it. As for the content on this book, I was in love with the way Adichie thinks and how clearly and concisely she gets her thoughts across in writing. I was able to speed through this book pretty quickly (it's just over 60 pages long) but I felt like I'd read a much longer book because of how much STUFF is packed in there. Highly recommend!
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  • Flor
    January 1, 1970
    Hermoso.!!! 💕 Me ha gustado tanto como “Todos deberíamos ser feministas” Que palabras tan sabias y que ideas tan claras tiene esta mujer.!! Se lo recomiendo a todos, tanto hombres como mujeres.!! Dejo algunas de las frases que más me gustaron, aunque casi todo el libro lo tengo marcado ☺”Tu premisa femenina debería ser: Yo importo”.”Todo el mundo tendrá una opinión de lo que deberías hacer, pero lo importante es lo que tú quieras y no lo que los demás quieran que quieras”.”En ocasiones las madre Hermoso.!!! 💕 Me ha gustado tanto como “Todos deberíamos ser feministas” Que palabras tan sabias y que ideas tan claras tiene esta mujer.!! Se lo recomiendo a todos, tanto hombres como mujeres.!! Dejo algunas de las frases que más me gustaron, aunque casi todo el libro lo tengo marcado ☺️”Tu premisa femenina debería ser: Yo importo”.”Todo el mundo tendrá una opinión de lo que deberías hacer, pero lo importante es lo que tú quieras y no lo que los demás quieran que quieras”.”En ocasiones las madres, tan condicionadas para ser y hacerlo todo, son cómplices de la reducción de la función de los padres”.”Enséñale a tu hija que los “roles de género”son una solemne tontería. No le digas nunca que debe hacer algo o dejar de hacerlo porque es una niña”.”Las mujeres no necesitan que las reverencien ni las defiendan, solo necesitan que las traten como a seres humanos iguales”.”Jamás hables del matrimonio como un logro”.”Enséñale a rechazar la obligación de gustar. Su trabajo no es ser deseable, su trabajo es realizarse plenamente en un ser que sea sincero y consciente”.
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  • Seemita
    January 1, 1970
    [Originally appeared here (with edits): http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/li...]Feminism – A rather commonly used terms these days, with interpretations far and wide, but not necessarily, coherent. If among contemporary writers there is one who imparts veritable meaning and clarity to this much relevant and pertinent ideology, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie would be her name.When a friend asked Adichie how she can raise her little daughter as a feminist, Adichie shared fifteen suggestions in form of [Originally appeared here (with edits): http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/li...]Feminism – A rather commonly used terms these days, with interpretations far and wide, but not necessarily, coherent. If among contemporary writers there is one who imparts veritable meaning and clarity to this much relevant and pertinent ideology, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie would be her name.When a friend asked Adichie how she can raise her little daughter as a feminist, Adichie shared fifteen suggestions in form of a letter. And each one of them echoes so loud that it feels quite unreal to see these obvious orders missing in our societies.She advises that a girl should be taught to reject “likeability”. Often people put so much thrust on girls being nice and likeable that this shallowness gobbles up more important and life-defining traits like kindness and fullness of character. It is the same brutality the society exhibits when it equates a girl’s appearance to her morality. One should teach their daughters to consistently reject this policing. From setting examples at home by sharing responsibilities, to actively shunning the so-called “gender-roles”, the onus of driving the essence of feminism lies on both the parents. Among other propositions, Adichie writes about encouraging the child to read and understanding the importance of having an identity of her own. Adichie’s effectiveness in what she advocates is primarily because of her aim, which indeed, is to empower girls and not turn them into saints. She insists that female goodness goes hand in hand with female evil, and that, she is fallible and not without flaws. She justly maintains that equality is a two-way road and that raising your child as a feminist is inclusive of not manipulating the opposite gender to one’s benefit.Drawing inferences from her own experiences (as an Igbo girl), her teens, her biases and her learning, she forwards her recommendations with not just an intimate warmth inherent between two childhood friends but also etches a manifesto, as is mentioned in the title, that has an universal application. If you have not been taken by Adichie's strong voice or ethos in the past and have an inkling you might not after all spend time reading this book (though I strongly recommend against it), you can view her fifteen suggestions under this spoiler: (view spoiler)[ Teach her - to be a full person (and not simply a mother to your child)- to do it together (i.e., husband and wife/ father and mother sharing responsibilities in equal spirit)- "Gender Role" is nonsense- "Feminism Lite" is dangerous (you are either a feminist or you aren't; there is no mid-way)- to read- to question language- to never view marriage as an achievement/ a reward to aspire for- to reject "likeability" (that appeases society at the cost of her own falsities)- to acquire a sense of identity- to not view her appearances from the societal lens (that will help with all the body image insecurities that the world thrust upon girls; as a parent, surround her with people whose qualities you might want her to acquire)- to question our culture’s selective use of biology as “reasons” to social norms- to converse about sex with parents without shame- to love- female goodness is as normal as female evil - about difference, and that it is rather ordinary and should be respected/accepted. (hide spoiler)]. But don't take my word; read it. The accompanying texts and instances she quotes, are as much a delight to read as they are wise to imbibe. Clearly, this is a book which should be read by parents and its philosophies, inculcated in their children, regardless of their genders.
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  • April (Aprilius Maximus)
    January 1, 1970
    This was great, but I wish it was more trans inclusive coz she implies multiple times that all women have vaginas.
  • Lualunera
    January 1, 1970
    Quiero regalar este pequeño gran libro a todas las mujeres del mundo.
  • Cece (ProblemsOfaBookNerd)
    January 1, 1970
    *3.5/5Unsurprisingly, after some of Adichie’s comments a couple of years ago, this is good but deeply cis-centric in its language.
  • j e w e l s
    January 1, 1970
    FIVE STARS, of course! Confession.I need 4 more books to make my 2018 goal. Four more books in a very busy month is not realistic for me. I'm doubting my strength to power through it in December.Solution. Audio books. Short audio books. My Overdrive app offers a section for short audio books under three hours. Honestly, many of them are less than one hour. Hey, I read three books today!! And anyone can do it!I've got this goal. Almost.I'm a die-hard fan of the brilliant Adichie. I firmly believe FIVE STARS, of course! Confession.I need 4 more books to make my 2018 goal. Four more books in a very busy month is not realistic for me. I'm doubting my strength to power through it in December.Solution. Audio books. Short audio books. My Overdrive app offers a section for short audio books under three hours. Honestly, many of them are less than one hour. Hey, I read three books today!! And anyone can do it!I've got this goal. Almost.I'm a die-hard fan of the brilliant Adichie. I firmly believe her books are for ALL PEOPLE, not just women. This book is a letter to a friend that had asked her advice on how to raise her newborn girl as a feminist. It is a concise, wise and compelling piece of writing that carves a tiny niche in your brain and holds on tightly. I am willing to bet you won't call any little girl "Princess" in the future after reading Adichie.Adichie, in 15 suggestions, tackles sexual politics, clothes and make-up, and choices of toys for your child. She is at her best when debunking myths that we don't even realize we as "modern society" still carry and pass down to our children. I am especially fond of Suggestion #5. TEACH HER TO LOVE BOOKS.Note: I was so disappointed with the American narrator. She sounds silly when pronouncing all the Nigerian names. Why no Nigerian narrator, Penguin Random House? I've listened to two other Adichie books, both with lovely Nigerian narration.
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  • Lisa
    January 1, 1970
    Dear Chimamanda, I love the fact that you still write letters, that you care and stay committed to the issues that are important to the next generation. I love the fact that you write short and anecdotal letters that can be shared between my three children and myself in a library on a dark winter afternoon.I can't say how much it means to me that you have a voice that is clear and sharp and kind enough to reach out to both my sons and my daughter. We feel the same anger you feel, and when I read Dear Chimamanda, I love the fact that you still write letters, that you care and stay committed to the issues that are important to the next generation. I love the fact that you write short and anecdotal letters that can be shared between my three children and myself in a library on a dark winter afternoon.I can't say how much it means to me that you have a voice that is clear and sharp and kind enough to reach out to both my sons and my daughter. We feel the same anger you feel, and when I read your passage about being angry to them this afternoon, they all identified with the frustration:"The writer had accused me of being 'angry', as though 'being angry' were something to be ashamed of. Of course I am angry. I am angry about racism. I am angry about sexism. But I recently came to the realization that I am angrier about sexism than I am about racism. Because in my anger about sexism, I often feel lonely. Because I love, and live among, people who easily acknowledge race injustice but not gender injustice."Dear Chimamanda, we talked about this, my children and I. And we realised you were right. Misogyny is the most widespread injustice we could think of, to be found in almost all societies to some extent, and nurtured by both men and women when they raise their daughters and sons to live fully to their potential - or to comply fully with someone else's potential. Women and men are equally responsible for changing the world, and a start is to take on the challenge of your first suggestion: "Be a full person". Never reduce yourself or others to a gender or a fixed mindset. Be what you can be. A parent, a professional, a lover, a writer, an artist.You gave us a delightful discussion this afternoon, and as dialogue is the way to constructive change, I thank you for starting the string of words...Sincerely,A Mother, A Teacher, A Reader
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  • Joce (squibblesreads)
    January 1, 1970
    4.5 stars! So important and wonderfully written and explained with examples. I wish it had been longer - I was imagining this as a collection/novel made up of vignettes with the author as a type of wise narrator... A+ material
  • Amanda
    January 1, 1970
    Dear Ijeawele is Chimanda Ngozi Adichie's response to her friend's request for advice on how to raise her baby girl a feminist. The format of the book is a letter to the baby with fifteen suggestions. I may have enjoyed reading this even more than We Should All Be Feminists. Many of the suggestions include changing the language we use with our daughters and examining attitudes about marriage and relationships, identity, and gender roles. I feel that many of the suggestions are already widely acc Dear Ijeawele is Chimanda Ngozi Adichie's response to her friend's request for advice on how to raise her baby girl a feminist. The format of the book is a letter to the baby with fifteen suggestions. I may have enjoyed reading this even more than We Should All Be Feminists. Many of the suggestions include changing the language we use with our daughters and examining attitudes about marriage and relationships, identity, and gender roles. I feel that many of the suggestions are already widely accepted in the West, but the book demonstrates the need for additional progress and further examination of these topics. Of course, the author and her friend are Nigerian, and I enjoyed her inclusion of Nigerian culture and cultural expectations in that country.I could relate to quite a few of her suggestions. One suggestion was to reject the idea of gender roles, and she retold the story of a little girl showing interest in a remote-controlled helicopter in a U.S. mall and the mother responded to the girl that she had her dolls. I've always loved science and as I child my gift requests to Santa were a microscope, a telescope, a rock tumbler, etc., and the only doll I ever wanted was a She-ra action figure and her castle. I think girls and boys should be allowed to explore their personal interests. Another topic Adichie explored that I related to was marriage. She discussed keeping her name and using the title Ms. instead of Mrs. When I married almost twenty years ago, I decided to keep my last name. It wasn't a question of "feminism" for me. I was married in Mexico and liked the fact that women didn't change their names, and, frankly, I didn't want to go through the process of a legal name change. Now, however, I truly enjoy my identity and am thankful that I kept it. I think if you enjoyed We Should All Be Feminists, you'll definitely want to add Dear Ijeawele to your list.
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  • Kristina Horner
    January 1, 1970
    I loved this little book.As someone getting married and starting to think about having children, this book resonated so strongly with me, and really inspired me in a couple of areas for how I want to approach my relationship and parenting. It's like in one little book she managed to summarize so many things I feel like I've learned and begun to care about in the last decade, and threw in a few more ideas as well. As soon as I finished it I immediately handed it to my fiance, to help us even furt I loved this little book.As someone getting married and starting to think about having children, this book resonated so strongly with me, and really inspired me in a couple of areas for how I want to approach my relationship and parenting. It's like in one little book she managed to summarize so many things I feel like I've learned and begun to care about in the last decade, and threw in a few more ideas as well. As soon as I finished it I immediately handed it to my fiance, to help us even further get on the same page. I've read a few things by this author now, and I havent been let down by her yet. :)
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  • Simon
    January 1, 1970
    Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie has the most incredible way with words and how to get her points across with humour and hope. This, a letter to her friend who asks her 'how do I raise my daughter feminist?', was brimming with warmth and power whilst asking us all to check ourselves and how feminist we are when we say what we do and act as feminists.
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  • Sara
    January 1, 1970
    As a mother of a son and daughter(s), this book speaks to me on a deeply personal level and I hope I can raise my children with a sense of what it is to be a feminist. All I want for them all is to grow up in a society that is inherently equal to all, without any biases towards what they grow up to be.I hope they already have some idea about the values discussed here. I'm the main earner in our family, my husband and I divided the childcare equally and I would never impose supposed views on them As a mother of a son and daughter(s), this book speaks to me on a deeply personal level and I hope I can raise my children with a sense of what it is to be a feminist. All I want for them all is to grow up in a society that is inherently equal to all, without any biases towards what they grow up to be.I hope they already have some idea about the values discussed here. I'm the main earner in our family, my husband and I divided the childcare equally and I would never impose supposed views on them just because of their gender. My son hates sport, is very emotional, plays with his sisters toys sometimes and likes computer games. My daughter loves ballet, wearing pink and wants to be a doctor when she grows up. The important point here is that these are their own choices and I would be happy no matter what as long as they are happy too. This is such an important read, I don't think I could express it enough. We could all take away something to learn from it, even if it's just to realise how ingrained some cultural ideas about feminism and 'women's roles' are in society. It’s a fight that I’ll continue to make as long as gender inequality exists, to ensure a better world for my children.
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