Would You Rather
A collection of poignant, relatable essays from the author of Never Have I Ever about coming out in her late twenties, entering into her first relationship, and figuring out what it means to be an adult.When Katie Heaney published her first book of essays chronicling her singledom up to age 25, she was still waiting to meet the right guy. Three years later, a lot changed. For one thing, she met the right girl. Here, for the first time, Katie opens up about realizing that she is gay. She tackles everything from the trials of dating in New York City to the growing pains of her first relationship, from obsessing over Harry Styles (because, actually, he does look a bit like a lesbian) to learning to accept herself all over again. Exploring love and sexuality with her neurotic wit and endearing intimacy, Katie shares the message that it's never too late to find love--or yourself.

Would You Rather Details

TitleWould You Rather
Author
ReleaseMar 6th, 2018
PublisherBallantine Books
Rating
GenreAutobiography, Memoir, Nonfiction, Lgbt, Writing, Essays

Would You Rather Review

  • Chantel (BW Book Reviews)
    January 1, 1970
    This review and others can be found at BW Book Reviews.I received this ARC from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. This has no influence on my rating. Would You Rather: A Memoir of Growing Up and Coming Out will be released on March 6th, 2018.4/5 – This year, I wanted to read a non-fiction book by a queer author about being queer. This spoke out to me when I saw it on Netgalley because it was exactly what I was looking for. What I didn’t expect was to relate so strongly with the author’ This review and others can be found at BW Book Reviews.I received this ARC from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. This has no influence on my rating. Would You Rather: A Memoir of Growing Up and Coming Out will be released on March 6th, 2018.4/5 – This year, I wanted to read a non-fiction book by a queer author about being queer. This spoke out to me when I saw it on Netgalley because it was exactly what I was looking for. What I didn’t expect was to relate so strongly with the author’s experience in coming out later in life and finding out who she was at the age of twenty-eight.Katie Heaney wrote a book called Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date and it was released in 2014. She references this book often in Would You Rather because, in it, she describes never having dated, being a virgin at twenty-five, and being attracted to men. At the time she wrote that book, she had not accepted that she was a lesbian. She might not have even known despite the signs she points out in Would You Rather.It is fascinating to have two different books, written at two different points in your life that demonstrate how things can change over the course of just a few years. At twenty-five, she is single, straight, and a virgin and at twenty-eight she has a girlfriend, is a lesbian, and is no longer a virgin. I love how candid she is about talking about her journey in coming out to her friends and family and how at first she didn’t feel “gay enough” because she hadn’t ever dated a woman. I related to her story for a number of reasons, but I’m not as candid as she is. I don’t think I would ever write, let alone publish not just one but two books detailing my love life and sexuality. I admire Heaney greatly because of it. She talks about how she continued to get emails after her first book was released from young women who related to her story and I know she will get emails for Would You Rather for the same thing.I thought the content of the book was great, I wasn’t too fond of the format. The book is described as a series of essays and sometimes the book flowed nicely and sometimes it didn’t. I would’ve liked if the book flowed all the way through and didn’t feel as if there were unrelated essays mixed in. That being said, I loved the essay about Heaney downloading and watching The L Word for the first time while she was studying abroad. There was even an essay where she talked about her anxiety and how she had been resistant to medication before accepting she needed it. Again, I really appreciated her openness throughout the memoir about her journey and I would highly recommend it.
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  • Carina
    January 1, 1970
    "Would You Rather?" is Katie Heaney's second memoir. Yes, at the ripe ol' age of 30 she has already written two of them! I have not read her first book ("Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date") and you don't need to either, at least not in order to relate to and understand the new book. In the first book, and as the title implies, Heaney discusses her life until 25 and the singleness that has been its constant. She refers back to the first memoir a lot in "Would You Rather?" but nev "Would You Rather?" is Katie Heaney's second memoir. Yes, at the ripe ol' age of 30 she has already written two of them! I have not read her first book ("Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date") and you don't need to either, at least not in order to relate to and understand the new book. In the first book, and as the title implies, Heaney discusses her life until 25 and the singleness that has been its constant. She refers back to the first memoir a lot in "Would You Rather?" but never in an annoying kind of way where you feel like she's working on filler. She simply wants to make it clear, I think, that the thought of being gay or bisexual never crossed her mind while writing her first memoir. Anyway, about the new book---In "Would You Rather?: A Memoir of Growing Up and Coming Out" (again, as the title implies) Katie Heaney realizes that she is a lesbian. After 28 years of never being in a relationship and never having sex with a man, a light-bulb goes off in her head and she realizes that she may be bisexual...and then she realizes that she may in fact be straight-up gay. (See what I did there?) The book is essentially a collection of essays that detail the experiences that Heaney has leading up to and following her newfound sexuality: her friendships, her family, her life as a writer, her move to NY to work at Buzz Feed, her first official girlfriend, and her male and female crushes along the way. I really enjoyed this book! It was an easy read and quite fun at times. I think you'll enjoy the essay about Harry Styles and lesbians. That one had me laughing out loud.On a more serious note.... I think this is an important book. Most books about coming out are about people who have always known that they are gay, that "discover" their homosexuality during adolescence, that have always been attracted to both men and women. This book is different because Katie Heaney really had no idea that she was gay until age 28. She was so convinced that she liked men that she wrote a whole book about it! People who have doubts don't do that! That being said, I think she's very brave to come out with this second book well-knowing that some people will simply say "Yeah, that figures! We should've seen it coming." (This issue is also addressed in the book.) I'll stop with the puns now and simply tell you that you should read this book!**I got an advanced unproofed copy of this book from GoodReads**
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  • Chiara
    January 1, 1970
    A REALLY excellent follow-up to 2014's "Never Have I Ever." It was fascinating to read about Katie's journey of self-discovery and (sorry to use this annoying phrase) self-actualization. Funny, perceptive, and well-written -- I honestly tore through this one.
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  • Jess
    January 1, 1970
    I came home this afternoon and got my mail, excited because my ISBN Thinking of You shirt had arrived. But my excitement for that was curtailed when I saw a package from Penguin Random House just beneath it. What could it be this time, I wondered? Sometimes they sent things that caught my interest; other times, not so much. I hadn't heard of this book, or the author's previous memoir when I opened the box, but reading the back blurb immediately caught my interest. With no further ado, I sat down I came home this afternoon and got my mail, excited because my ISBN Thinking of You shirt had arrived. But my excitement for that was curtailed when I saw a package from Penguin Random House just beneath it. What could it be this time, I wondered? Sometimes they sent things that caught my interest; other times, not so much. I hadn't heard of this book, or the author's previous memoir when I opened the box, but reading the back blurb immediately caught my interest. With no further ado, I sat down to read.And now I'm done. I did not stop. Except, of course, to remind myself what Shane McCutcheon looked like ;) Such a compelling story; and Katie herself is so much like me I could relate to her discoveries over and over. There's a blurb on the cover that says "I devoured this book as though my life depended on it, and you will too." And for once, they're not wrong.
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  • Paige
    January 1, 1970
    I won a copy of this book from a goodreads giveaway, in exchange for an honest review. Some spoilersI originally signed up for the giveaway because I don't often get to read books (fiction or non-fiction) with LGBTQ themes. As part of the LGBTQ community, it's nice to see more representation, and someone willing to share their story. I didn't read Katie Heaney's first memoir, but that's okay, I think this one is more relevant to me. The first half of this book really resonated with me. I was abl I won a copy of this book from a goodreads giveaway, in exchange for an honest review. Some spoilersI originally signed up for the giveaway because I don't often get to read books (fiction or non-fiction) with LGBTQ themes. As part of the LGBTQ community, it's nice to see more representation, and someone willing to share their story. I didn't read Katie Heaney's first memoir, but that's okay, I think this one is more relevant to me. The first half of this book really resonated with me. I was able to relate to Katie's struggle to realize that she is queer, and to determine what being queer meant to her. It is a scary thing, to realize you're not the person everyone thinks you are, and with that comes the worry that the people you love most will not accept you, or possibly abandon you. Reading the essays early in the book, took me on a walk down memory lane, in a way. As I read my way through the essays I thought back to the time in my life that I realized I was gay, and had to go through the ridiculous process of coming out. The baby dyke phase...good lord. Do we all go through that? I attribute my own baby dyke time period to the belief that one should fake it until they make.The boy crazy stuff...I can't say I relate...just because that wasn't my experience in life, but I had plenty of friends who focused a lot of time on boys (famous or otherwise). I've always felt that kind of behavior was a little ridiculous when I observed it in my friends, and I felt similarly while reading this book. The chapter about Harry Styles in particular. To each their own. Once I got to the second half of the book, I felt less of a connection to the author. I guess I was a little surprised about how occupied she seemed to be with her "otherness". Even after coming out, she seemed to think she wasn't queer enough, or not doing "queer" the right way. I know we all have our insecurities, and it definitely takes some time to feel comfortable in our own skin after coming out. It came across and self-important as opposed to insecure. If I had a friend who voiced an opinion similar to Katie's, I'm sure I would have shaken my head and told them to take it down a notch. The queer community as a whole isn't going to reject you because you don't know how to dress "gay". We are all too busy living our own lives to worry much about what a random lesbian is doing....get over yourself. (said in a loving way, of course) We are not a big band of gays with a hive mentality. I judge queer people the same way that I judge straight people. Are you a good human? Can I tolerate you for long periods of time? Can we laugh together? Girl, you're good. Just live your life! On a similar note, I struggled with the very long "coming out" social media post. I appreciate that Katie addressed her white middle class privilege in one of the chapters....there were times prior to getting that far in the book that her privilege was glaringly obvious. Even in the midst of our own despair it's imperative we stay aware of the hardships other face. Feel your feelings, they are valid, but know how lucky you are. Katie seems to have that awareness, so even if she isn't as likable as sure used to be (as she claims), she has clearly grown as a person, and knows that there is room for continual growth. Though I did not relate to all sections of this book, I still enjoyed this read overall. Books, whether they are fiction or non fiction should make us feel things, and it shouldn't just be warm fuzzies. I felt a wide spectrum of things on my journey through this book, so I call that a success. **my rating system1 star- Did not finish2 stars- Did not enjoy3 stars- enjoyed4 stars- thoroughly enjoyed5 stars- loved enough to read again
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  • Kate
    January 1, 1970
    Thanks Netgalley for the ARC.I loved the other two books I've read by Katie Heaney (NEVER HAVE I EVER and the novel PUBLIC RELATIONS), and I loved this, too. Like her first book, in this one Katie is a very relatable writer, but part of that may be because we're the same age and grew up in similar environments (the midwest). I feel like this book could be written by my best friend, because it's conversational and real, and I love that. Like, if I lived in NYC, I'd totally want to hang out with h Thanks Netgalley for the ARC.I loved the other two books I've read by Katie Heaney (NEVER HAVE I EVER and the novel PUBLIC RELATIONS), and I loved this, too. Like her first book, in this one Katie is a very relatable writer, but part of that may be because we're the same age and grew up in similar environments (the midwest). I feel like this book could be written by my best friend, because it's conversational and real, and I love that. Like, if I lived in NYC, I'd totally want to hang out with her.This is a quick read, but it's meaningful, and I like the organization of it. The little snippets of her crushes on girls throughout her life are a lighthearted interlude between the overarching story she's telling. She touches on issues of feminism and LGBTQ rights, but nothing is so in-your-face that it becomes about that. Instead, it's about her experience. Regardless of your sexuality, this is an enjoyable read. Highly recommend. Now I need to read DEAR EMMA as well, because I'm sure I won't be disappointed.
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  • Tony Snyder
    January 1, 1970
    Extremely relatable and Katie is like a best friend you can't help but root for. Also, if you haven't read her novel "Public Relations", every music groupie is in for a treat!
  • Jennifer
    January 1, 1970
    Love, love, love, love, love this book. I listened to the Audio but want to buy the print too.
  • Melissa
    January 1, 1970
    4.5! Katie’s memoirs have basically been a saga, and I’ve truly enjoyed the whole journey. She’s hilarious and relatable, and honestly we should all be so forthright with how little we actually know about the world and ourselves. Katie’s officially been inducted into my book lady squad. She knows wassup
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  • Hannah
    January 1, 1970
    When I picked up "Public Relations" I was confused that Katie was thanking a girl in the acknowledgements. So I did what any millennial would do and I stalked her on social media. Then I found out that she had this book coming out about her coming out and everything made a lot more sense. Reading Katie's writing makes you feel like you're her best friend and she's confiding in you (which is probably why I'm calling her Katie instead of her full name). Highly enjoyed this.
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  • Rebekah Gordon
    January 1, 1970
    This book arrived Tuesday afternoon and I couldn't stop reading it until I finished it Thursday morning. It's the kind of book I'd bring into the kitchen with me so I didn't miss out on reading during the 8 min my pasta was cooking. I loved so many things about this book. It's soooo relatable. Even though parts of my story are different, I found myself nodding along so much. I loved hearing about Katie's love story with Lydia, and I especially love that it's not sugar-coated or cliched. She gets This book arrived Tuesday afternoon and I couldn't stop reading it until I finished it Thursday morning. It's the kind of book I'd bring into the kitchen with me so I didn't miss out on reading during the 8 min my pasta was cooking. I loved so many things about this book. It's soooo relatable. Even though parts of my story are different, I found myself nodding along so much. I loved hearing about Katie's love story with Lydia, and I especially love that it's not sugar-coated or cliched. She gets super real with how different it is to be a single person watching your friends date people (when you think they could totally do better) vs being in a relationship yourself, while also still being really sweet and clearly in love. I think that people who liked the first book will find a lot to like and relate to here, even though the "premise" is slightly different, now that she knows she's queer. I also really loved the little interstitials on girls she's realized she had crushes on, looking back. So cute and so real.I'm excited to read everything else Katie will write.
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  • Catie
    January 1, 1970
    I’ll begin by saying that I have read two of Katie Heaney’s previous books, and that I was the tiniest bit weary before beginning this one. Her first memoir, Never Have I Ever, was a DNF for me (at about 75%). I found it a little shallow and juvenile, like an overlong Thought Catalog article. I later read Dear Emma, which was fine but not all that memorable (and probably more enjoyable for college-aged readers than for those of us closer in age to Heaney herself). But shortly after that book cam I’ll begin by saying that I have read two of Katie Heaney’s previous books, and that I was the tiniest bit weary before beginning this one. Her first memoir, Never Have I Ever, was a DNF for me (at about 75%). I found it a little shallow and juvenile, like an overlong Thought Catalog article. I later read Dear Emma, which was fine but not all that memorable (and probably more enjoyable for college-aged readers than for those of us closer in age to Heaney herself). But shortly after that book came out, I heard Heaney on Death, Sex & Money describing her realization that she was not romantically or sexually interested in men, and thought, “now that’s a book I would want to read.” Well, here that book is! And I’m glad that I was right—this was definitely a book I wanted to read.Like many other recent memoirs, Would You Rather? reads as more of a memoir-in-essays than a traditional memoir. There is a definite chronological narrative thread, but several chapters—including “Harry and Me,” a funny if slightly bloated essay about Harry Styles—are notable departures from the central through-line. As with most story and essay collections, not every piece will land with every reader. This is fine, but it might be something to know before picking up this book. So, with that in mind:Would You Rather? is a delight. The writing here is thoughtful, and conveys a good deal of maturity and self-awareness. The self-deprecating humor is charming, and the introspective passages land much better than those in her previous memoir. Heaney writes particularly well about her own growth—in friendships, relationships, self-discovery, and political consciousness. The last is particularly significant since this is a book completed and published after the 2016 election. (The current political landscape in the U.S. does play an understated, powerful role in this book.) One chapter includes timely, firm criticism of white feminism, which Heaney explores through a discussion of her college coursework and activism. Heaney’s willingness to own up to her flaws, her mistakes (both personal and political), and her privilege is a recurring theme in the latter half of the book, helping to elevate the lighthearted memoir into something a touch more serious. Still a quick, funny read, for sure, but with an emotional weight that some books of this genre lack. Even if you didn't particularly like Heaney's previous books, this is one worth picking up.Thank you to NetGalley and Ballantine for providing me with an ARC!
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  • Meghan
    January 1, 1970
    Thanks to Edelweiss and the publisher for providing a free electronic copy of this title. With a publication date of March 2018, I read an advance ebook of this coming out memoir by Katie Heaney, a young white woman who didn't realize she was gay until her late-ish 20s. This title is actually Heaney's second memoir - the first was a story about her relationship inexperience as she entered her mid-20s, which covered how she'd never dated or had a relationship with a man, and was written while she Thanks to Edelweiss and the publisher for providing a free electronic copy of this title. With a publication date of March 2018, I read an advance ebook of this coming out memoir by Katie Heaney, a young white woman who didn't realize she was gay until her late-ish 20s. This title is actually Heaney's second memoir - the first was a story about her relationship inexperience as she entered her mid-20s, which covered how she'd never dated or had a relationship with a man, and was written while she still identified as straight. Which is...interesting, and also an argument against writing memoirs when you're still really young and don't have the benefit of reflection on your past experiences.I had a strong reaction to this 2nd memoir, and I don't think I was the right reader - I realized after finishing that it was because I identified too strongly with the inexperienced, sheltered, and self-protective nature of the author. Kind of how traits you don't like in yourself are really annoying when you see them in other people. All coming out memoirs are valuable, because everyone deserves to see a reflection of their own story in a book. This one didn't work for me but I would recommend it, especially to people who are younger, inexperienced, or want to read a story that might be kind of dull but also doesn't make coming out into a big traumatic moment.
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  • Jen
    January 1, 1970
    Katie Heaney published a book a few years ago called Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date, which chronicled her lackluster dating life - crushes on and dates with boys never seemed to pan out. In that book she was hilarious, poignant, and vulnerable, and because it was a memoir, I was rooting for her to find romance in her own real life.Since then, things have changed. She's published some great fiction, such as Dear Emma and Public Relations. Oh, and she found her happy ending, da Katie Heaney published a book a few years ago called Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date, which chronicled her lackluster dating life - crushes on and dates with boys never seemed to pan out. In that book she was hilarious, poignant, and vulnerable, and because it was a memoir, I was rooting for her to find romance in her own real life.Since then, things have changed. She's published some great fiction, such as Dear Emma and Public Relations. Oh, and she found her happy ending, dating-wise...once she realized she was gay.It's hard enough to come out at any age, but it's harder to come out as you get older - and it's REALLY hard when you've realized this right after you've published a book about your heterosexual dating experience. Would You Rather? can be read as a standalone, without any prior knowledge of the author, but it is a spiritual as well as temporal sequel to Never Have I Ever. In it, you can see how much Katie has grown as a writer, and also in her awareness of her own personhood. She again uses humor and vulnerability to share her incredible journey. It's fun, it's sweet, it will make you cheer when she comes into her own, even when she's just talking about mundane things like trying to make the bed while her partner is still in it, or her superfan crush on Harry Styles. You will enjoy this book if you've ever struggled with knowing who you are and who you want to be, whether or not you are queer-identified. Just as NHIE made readers feel it is okay to be who you are, WYR celebrates the not knowing and the knowing alike. Can't wait to see what's next!
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  • R
    January 1, 1970
    Would You Rather? was a refreshing, interesting, and funny memoir. Katie Heaney came to terms with her sexuality after much reflection about her dating history and male relationships. I found it intriguing, being a native New Yorker, that the author came to this decision while on a NYC train going to work. Her focused gravitated toward female passengers instead of several handsome men around her. The author realized in that 15 minute subway epiphany ride that she wasn’t straight. Needless to say Would You Rather? was a refreshing, interesting, and funny memoir. Katie Heaney came to terms with her sexuality after much reflection about her dating history and male relationships. I found it intriguing, being a native New Yorker, that the author came to this decision while on a NYC train going to work. Her focused gravitated toward female passengers instead of several handsome men around her. The author realized in that 15 minute subway epiphany ride that she wasn’t straight. Needless to say, the next day she explored this revelation with her therapist. It was shared information like this and others, such as her anxiety problems, online dating sites, political atmosphere, and Harry Styles infatuation, that set this apart from other memoirs. It was believable and funny, yet clearly emotional for the author as she explained coming to terms with not only her sexuality, but being in an actual loving relationship. This well written memoir is highly recommended, not only for those in similar situations, but for anyone who enjoys a good read!
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  • Nicole Jarvis
    January 1, 1970
    I really enjoyed reading this. There's nothing earth-shattering about Heaney's writing style, but it's the first time I've read a book so close to my own life experience. I was highlighting huge swathes thinking, This happened to someone else too?! This woman had such a strange parallel to my own life, and I loved seeing how someone else handled: their later-in-life queer revelation (walking down the street in Madrid (for her) or Manhattan (for me) and deciding whether I was attracted to each pe I really enjoyed reading this. There's nothing earth-shattering about Heaney's writing style, but it's the first time I've read a book so close to my own life experience. I was highlighting huge swathes thinking, This happened to someone else too?! This woman had such a strange parallel to my own life, and I loved seeing how someone else handled: their later-in-life queer revelation (walking down the street in Madrid (for her) or Manhattan (for me) and deciding whether I was attracted to each person I saw), going back and reexamining childhood crushes (did I think that girl was cool, or did I like-like her?) and being afraid of not being out enough (should I get an undercut?) I love seeing narratives like this being published and read and accepted as just as much part of the norm as those people who are born knowing their sexual orientations.
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  • Samira Parsa
    January 1, 1970
    I received a free copy of this book from a Goodreads giveaway for an honest review.This book was.....okay, I guess. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't good either. I feel like the title was a bit misleading: "Growing Up and Coming Out" is actually more of "Coming Out and Spending Most of the Book Talking about Details of My Life and Opinions."I tried, I really, did, and I'm sorry, but I just don't care about this girl's life. It's great that she's using a platform to talk about coming out and nav I received a free copy of this book from a Goodreads giveaway for an honest review.This book was.....okay, I guess. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't good either. I feel like the title was a bit misleading: "Growing Up and Coming Out" is actually more of "Coming Out and Spending Most of the Book Talking about Details of My Life and Opinions."I tried, I really, did, and I'm sorry, but I just don't care about this girl's life. It's great that she's using a platform to talk about coming out and navigating expectations, but as soon as she started talking about her love for horoscopes, Harry Styles, or her need to always make the bed, I realized I honestly couldn't care less. This book really had no trajectory. Katie Heaney had a great platform here and the opportunity to make a change with her writing, but the sections where she really talks about her important revelations pale in comparison to all the times she just talks about mundane aspects of her life. I found myself trudging along just for the sake of finishing the damn thing. I also found her self-righteousness grating. She reminds me of one of those who always complains about you having a relationship and "leaving her out," and then as soon as she has one of her own she does the exact same thing!I don't know. This just wasn't my cup of tea.
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  • Rebecca
    January 1, 1970
    Thank you to the publisher (via Netgalley) for an advance e-galley of this book in exchange for an honest review. I really enjoyed Katie Heaney's first memoir (and Public Relations, the novel she co-wrote, was such a fun read), and was so happy to find that her upcoming memoir, Would You Rather, is enjoyable and interesting. Her story of the long road she took to coming out feels fresh and honest. The author is relatable, with a Midwestern self-consciousness I understand. A solid, easy read.
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  • Deanna
    January 1, 1970
    (Full disclosure: I won an ARC of this in a Goodreads giveaway.) Tore through it in a couple hours, found it even more compelling and relatable than her first memoir. I appreciated the honesty, how she writes about thinking she knew herself so so well and then keeps finding out that she doesn't, necessarily. It felt like she was trying less with this one to make everything funnier, more palatable, for the audience (which is a reflex that I totally get!). I ended up rooting for her, and also feel (Full disclosure: I won an ARC of this in a Goodreads giveaway.) Tore through it in a couple hours, found it even more compelling and relatable than her first memoir. I appreciated the honesty, how she writes about thinking she knew herself so so well and then keeps finding out that she doesn't, necessarily. It felt like she was trying less with this one to make everything funnier, more palatable, for the audience (which is a reflex that I totally get!). I ended up rooting for her, and also feeling a little bit better about myself and how I don't have a clue either. Thank you, for that.
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  • Catrina
    January 1, 1970
    Katie Heaney has such an easy-going, relateable writing style that makes reading anything she writes a joy to read. I also find myself relating to her work so well and Would You Rather? was no different. As someone who doesn't date a lot I related to her first memoir and as a bisexual women I related to this one as well. You don't have to LBGT+ to relate to the idea that you and others are ever changing and the hiccups and pitfalls that come with that, as well as those rare moments of clarity. T Katie Heaney has such an easy-going, relateable writing style that makes reading anything she writes a joy to read. I also find myself relating to her work so well and Would You Rather? was no different. As someone who doesn't date a lot I related to her first memoir and as a bisexual women I related to this one as well. You don't have to LBGT+ to relate to the idea that you and others are ever changing and the hiccups and pitfalls that come with that, as well as those rare moments of clarity. That is the beauty of this book, you feel connected to the memoir because it is human and honest. I always enjoy writing like this and can't wait for what Katie has for us all next!
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  • Victoria
    January 1, 1970
    "Would You Rather?" was a refreshing set of memoirs and essays by Katie Heaney. Heaney had already written a book about her dating misadventures, and I definitely want to read that after reading this one. In "Would You Rather?," Heaney grapples with her dating mishaps, losing her virginity late, and guys not appealing to her - because in her later twenties she finally figured out that she'd much prefer dating women. Heaney made me laugh and made me cry with her otherness, and made me feel like I "Would You Rather?" was a refreshing set of memoirs and essays by Katie Heaney. Heaney had already written a book about her dating misadventures, and I definitely want to read that after reading this one. In "Would You Rather?," Heaney grapples with her dating mishaps, losing her virginity late, and guys not appealing to her - because in her later twenties she finally figured out that she'd much prefer dating women. Heaney made me laugh and made me cry with her otherness, and made me feel like I'm not alone in my alternate sexuality.
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  • Rhonda
    January 1, 1970
    Honest, heartwarming memoirI have not read Kate Heaney's previous book. However I think she does an excellent job in bringing the author up to date as she shares the next leg of her journey of discovery.I was very moved by her honesty on conveying her journey to discovering her true self. I really believe this book is not just a book for the LGBTQIA community. Rather it's a book for anyone who has questioned who they were or what they really want or need from their lives.I received an advance re Honest, heartwarming memoirI have not read Kate Heaney's previous book. However I think she does an excellent job in bringing the author up to date as she shares the next leg of her journey of discovery.I was very moved by her honesty on conveying her journey to discovering her true self. I really believe this book is not just a book for the LGBTQIA community. Rather it's a book for anyone who has questioned who they were or what they really want or need from their lives.I received an advance reader copy from Netgalley.
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  • Allie
    January 1, 1970
    There's no such thing as coming out too late, and I loved reading about Heaney coming to realize that over the course of these essays. The one on Harry Styles is the only part of this book that I really couldn't wait to get done with, but even then, I can relate (to a degree) to the nature of that sort of obsessive behavior. Overall: Nice.
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  • Aimee
    January 1, 1970
    This book appealed to me because I wanted to have a better perspective of what people go through when this part of their lives is so different from mainstream. This was a great book for that. The author walks you through her own self awareness process. You feel empathy, sadness, and laughter. It is a great book.
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  • Jennifer Bradshaw
    January 1, 1970
    I really enjoyed reading about Katie's experiences, and I was able to identify with parts of her story: being in my late 20s before I really realized that I was gay and not dating, let alone falling in love, before then.
  • Sara
    January 1, 1970
    I wouldn't call this an award winner by any means, but I liked a lot of what Katie had to say about her experience so far. There were some really relatable and funny stories in this book. 3.5 stars.
  • Nicki
    January 1, 1970
    I'm glad this book exists.
  • Patty DeFee
    January 1, 1970
    I haven't read Katie Heaney's other books, but I will after reading this one! "Would You Rather?" is a sweet and touching account of a woman learning about (and accepting) her true self. Written in an easy to read style, it's a book you can start and finish in a few hours. Thank you for the ARC. This was a good one!
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  • Mandy
    January 1, 1970
    She's still delightful.
  • Victoria
    January 1, 1970
    😭💜
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