Beanstalker and Other Hilarious Scarytales
Once upon a time, a girl skipped into the forest and became a zombie.Wait, no, that's not how this story is supposed to go. Let's try again.Once upon a time, a boy did a horrible job as a sheep-sitter and burned his tongue on stolen pie.No, children in these stories are always good and virtuous. From the top.Once upon a time, a king and queen tried to find a princess for their son to marry, and he wound up fleeing from a group of very hairy vampires.Hmmm...What about, once upon a time, a bunch of fairy tales got twisted around to be completely hilarious, a tiny bit icky, and delightfully spooky scarytales... in other words, exactly what fairy tales were meant to be. Grab some flaming torches, maybe don't accept that bowl of pease porridge, and get ready for a wickedly fun ride with acclaimed author Kiersten White and fairy tales like you've never heard them before.

Beanstalker and Other Hilarious Scarytales Details

TitleBeanstalker and Other Hilarious Scarytales
Author
FormatHardcover
LanguageEnglish
ReleaseJul 25th, 2017
PublisherScholastic
Number of pages224 pages
Rating
GenreChildrens, Middle Grade, Retellings, Fantasy, Fairy Tales, Horror

Beanstalker and Other Hilarious Scarytales Review

  • Elise (thebookishactress on wordpress)
    February 11, 2017
    Damn, I want to be Kiersten White's best friend so much. Unfair Hair: 4 stars. This is such a solid, funny intro. Snow White, Blood Red: 4.5 stars. The meta stepmother jokes and the LOVE MOME tattoo all got me laughing. The Princess and the...Pea?: 5 stars. This is legitimately one of the funniest things I have read in my entire life. It's so meta. Little Dead Riding Hood: 5 stars. The plotting of this is so creative and interesting and twisty-turny. Cinders and Ashes: 4.5 stars for creativity, Damn, I want to be Kiersten White's best friend so much. Unfair Hair: 4 stars. This is such a solid, funny intro. Snow White, Blood Red: 4.5 stars. The meta stepmother jokes and the LOVE MOME tattoo all got me laughing. The Princess and the...Pea?: 5 stars. This is legitimately one of the funniest things I have read in my entire life. It's so meta. Little Dead Riding Hood: 5 stars. The plotting of this is so creative and interesting and twisty-turny. Cinders and Ashes: 4.5 stars for creativity, rather than for humor. I loved this story so, so much. Goldilocks and the Three Scares: 5 stars. This was so creative and generally great. Jack the Beanstalker: 3 stars. I wasn't all that impressed by this one, it just fell a little flat. Jack's character in general seems to fall a little flat throughout these stories. Bad Apple: 3 stars. Plot furthering but not all that funny. The Boy Who Cried Zombies: 4 stars. This one has some really great moments, but as a whole, it seems too plot-furtherting and not funny enough. Vampires and Zombies and Stepmothers, Oh My!: 4.5 stars for being an awesome conclusion.This was just a complete delight. These stories can all be read individually and enjoyed, but they come together into a really interesting story. I noticed that the later stories fell a little flatter individually, but as a whole, they really came together. So glad I spent an afternoon on this. Recommended for fans of parody and humor and Kiersten White.
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  • Ms. Yingling
    April 18, 2017
    E ARC from Edelweiss Above the TreelineIn this collection of fractured fairy tales, we follow the inept Jack through several adventures, and other characters show up along the way. The stories covered are all fairly standard, European tales via the Grimm brothers, such as Rapunzel, Snow White, LIttle Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, and the princess and the pea. The twists on these stories include pyromaniacs, zombies, vampires, and other monster like beings that are all on the gross side. This had E ARC from Edelweiss Above the TreelineIn this collection of fractured fairy tales, we follow the inept Jack through several adventures, and other characters show up along the way. The stories covered are all fairly standard, European tales via the Grimm brothers, such as Rapunzel, Snow White, LIttle Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, and the princess and the pea. The twists on these stories include pyromaniacs, zombies, vampires, and other monster like beings that are all on the gross side. This had its moments. I liked that Jack was a main focus, because so many of the fairy tale retellings have girls as the main characters (which is why I liked Shurtliff's Jack so much). Five years ago, the addition of vampires and zombies would have made this wildly popular among my Twilight fans. The general tone makes it great for readers who like somewhat gruesome twists ala Gidwitz's A Tale Dark and Grimm, but isn't quite so dark, making it appropriate for both elementary and middle school readers. I can see fifth graders finding Jack's confusion between pea and pee hilarious. This didn't appeal to me personally. I didn't care for the Lemony Snicket-esque asides, or for the odd twists on the stories. If this had covered some less well known fairy tales, or been somehow differently arranged, I might have bought it. I just don't have enough readers who ask for this sort of tale, and if they do ask, I have the works of E.D. Baker, Surtliff, Jessica Day George or Diane Zahler to hand to my students.
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  • Billie
    May 23, 2017
    There's a lot of clever jokes about homonyms (rein, reign, rain; hair and Herr; and, of course, pee and pea) and some unexpected zombears, but the concept itself—re-told and interwoven fairy tales and nursery rhymes with a narrator who inserts herself into the tale— is about as fresh as one of White's zombies.
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  • Carina Olsen
    February 19, 2017
    This book is so gorgeous. And I wanted to love it so badly. Which is why I'm so disappointed to say that I did not. I love fairy tales. And retellings are amazing. And I love middle grade books the most. Which is why I was so sure that I would love this book. As I also adore the author. But oh, I was a bit disappointed with this.I don't think I will write such a long review of this book. Because it isn't really long, and because of the way it is told, there is not really that much to say about i This book is so gorgeous. And I wanted to love it so badly. Which is why I'm so disappointed to say that I did not. I love fairy tales. And retellings are amazing. And I love middle grade books the most. Which is why I was so sure that I would love this book. As I also adore the author. But oh, I was a bit disappointed with this.I don't think I will write such a long review of this book. Because it isn't really long, and because of the way it is told, there is not really that much to say about it. But will share my thoughts about all of it even so. I'm giving this book two stars. Aw. Makes me so sad. But I really didn't like this one much at all. Wasn't very good.As I said, this book is all kinds of gorgeous looking. And I really did think that I would love it lots. And I do think that others might enjoy it a whole bunch, especially most children. But for me, it wasn't that good. I have read a lot of books for children that have been amazing. But I felt like this one was a bit too childish. The writing was not very good, and it was pretty boring. It's written like the writer is telling a story from her point of view, including a narrator inside the story. Which could have been amazing, but sadly I found it to be written really badly. Aw. There are supposed to be a lot of jokes included in the text, but I didn't find any of it funny. A lot of it is about spelling, and hearing words the wrong way. Which is interesting, but it wasn't interesting in this.Sigh. Probably because I didn't find it funny that a boy had been making a soup out of pee. And had been peeing in a guest bed. That just wasn't for me at all. But I must admit that I did enjoy parts of this story. I liked that there are short stories about famous fairy tales, with different endings and such. And that they all fit together in the same kingdom. I liked that. I just didn't like any of the stories, lol. The writing was just not good for me at all. And I didn't really like the plot either. I found the ending to be pretty bad too. Sniffs.I don't really know what to say about this book. I felt like it was really short, yet I couldn't help but wish that it had been even shorter. Aw. I'm so sad that I didn't like it much. I'm just so sad that it wasn't for me. Because I had been wanting to read it so badly and thought for sure that I would love it. But yeah, I have read tons of better written books for children, which is one of the reasons for why this one didn't work for me. But I would recommend that a lot of really younger children read it. They might love it. And might not.This book have a vampire Snow White. And a zombie Red Riding Hood. And a really, really stupid Jack. I found some parts of it to be interesting, which is why I'm giving it two stars. But for the most part this book was too silly and not good enough. I feel sad about that. But yeah, nothing that can be done about that. It wasn't for me. Huge thank you, though, to the publisher for being all kinds of amazing and shipping this review copy to my hotel room. It means the most. Also so curious to know what others think of this book.---This review was first posted on my blog, Carina's Books, here: http://carinabooks.blogspot.no/2017/0...
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  • Catherine
    May 22, 2017
    ? In this very twisted fairy tale collection favorite characters have undergone some creepy changes. Snow White is a vampire, Cinderella and Prince Charring are pyromaniacs, Red Riding Hood is a thug and Goldilocks is a zombie hunter. Linking all ten short chapters is the Stepmother who tries to keep all of these creepy kids in check. Humor appears in some mistaken wordplay. Jack mistakes p-e-a for p-e-e, making for a quite disgusting version of The Princess and the Pea (Pee?) Each chapter ends ? In this very twisted fairy tale collection favorite characters have undergone some creepy changes. Snow White is a vampire, Cinderella and Prince Charring are pyromaniacs, Red Riding Hood is a thug and Goldilocks is a zombie hunter. Linking all ten short chapters is the Stepmother who tries to keep all of these creepy kids in check. Humor appears in some mistaken wordplay. Jack mistakes p-e-a for p-e-e, making for a quite disgusting version of The Princess and the Pea (Pee?) Each chapter ends with a twisted nursery rhyme such as “Rock-a-bye baby, In the treetops/Who put you up there? Let’s call the cops. The cops are all zombies, So is the town/You’re safe up there, We won’t get you down.” The narrator also adds some fun by directly speaking to and warning the reader: “This is getting scary. Let’s skip ahead. The baby was born, covered in blood. Babies are gross. You were warned.” The book will include artwork that was not yet finalized. This is sure to appeal to readers who like a little horror with their fairytales.
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  • Stephanie Bange
    July 19, 2017
    White has taken several Grimm Fairy Tales and Mother Goose nursery rhymes and retells them, weaving each together into a longer narrative. Spoiler: The connecting link is the stepmother and Jack. Along the way, the narrator (a character) tells each traditional folktale and adds a twist. For example, Goldilocks picks locks and swings locks around; Red Riding Hood is a vampire; Cinderella and Prince Charring are pyromaniacs; Snow White is a vampire; everyone the stepmother marries dies; only Jack White has taken several Grimm Fairy Tales and Mother Goose nursery rhymes and retells them, weaving each together into a longer narrative. Spoiler: The connecting link is the stepmother and Jack. Along the way, the narrator (a character) tells each traditional folktale and adds a twist. For example, Goldilocks picks locks and swings locks around; Red Riding Hood is a vampire; Cinderella and Prince Charring are pyromaniacs; Snow White is a vampire; everyone the stepmother marries dies; only Jack is a simpleton throughout. Adding the horror element to each story brings a level of humor and turns these into fantasies. She is very successful, as once you start the book, you don’t want to put it down. Pencil renderings by Karl Kwasny help break up the stories and balance humor with the horror.
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  • Taylor Knight
    May 16, 2017
    I was sent an ARC copy of this book by the publisher in exchange for an honest review3.5 starsThis was such a fun read. I really loved the creativity and writing style. The concept was a lot of fun and I think young readers will really enjoy it. The Princess and the...Pea? was probably my favorite of all the stories and I even laughed out loud while reading it.I don't know if this really appeals to an older audience but I think middle school and elementary readers would really enjoy this book.
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  • Ashley Elliott
    July 26, 2017
    This was a fast fun delight to read! I laughed so hard at the princess and the...pea story I honestly had tears rolling down my face. I loved the reimagined idea of fairy tale woman taking charge and goldilocks was perfect, also Jill. It made fun of old cliches and added adorable touches to Jack and added stories like his and Mary together. Honestly I just want to give it to the closest kid I can find because it's hilarious just as the name says and I know they'd love it!
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  • Bethe
    June 2, 2017
    Bookaday #1. If you like a cheeky, chatty narrator with fairy tale characters gone to the dark side, then this book is for you. I liked the few digs at Disney princesses with big eyes and breaking into song!
  • Abbie
    June 5, 2017
    Read my review at Bookish Adventures.
  • Heather
    July 22, 2017
    2.5/5It was cute
  • Rachel Strolle
    March 11, 2017
    DELIGHTFUL
  • Sami
    February 17, 2017
    Fiendishly clever "scarytales" for any middle grader who delights in the unconventional. Zombie Red Riding Hood, vampire Snow White, and fire-starting Cinderella certainly keep a certain stepmother very busy as each classic fairy tale is turned into something spookier. White's laugh-out-loud narration and twisted sense of humor will also appeal to any parent tired of the same old fairy tales.
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