The 5 Love Languages
Simple ideas, lasting love Falling in love is easy. Staying in love—that’s the challenge! How can you keep your relationship fresh and growing amid the demands, conflicts, and just plain boredom of everyday life? In the #1 New York Times bestseller The 5 Love Languages, you’ll discover the secret that has transformed millions of relationships worldwide. Whether your relationship is flourishing or failing, Dr. Gary Chapman’s proven approach to showing and receiving love will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your partner—starting today. The 5 Love Languages is as practical as it is insightful. Updated to reflect the complexities of relationships today, this new edition reveals intrinsic truths and applies relevant, actionable wisdom in ways that work. Includes the Couple's Personal Profile assessment so you can discover your love language and that of your loved one.

The 5 Love Languages Details

TitleThe 5 Love Languages
Author
LanguageEnglish
ReleaseDec 11th, 2014
PublisherNorthfield Publishing
Rating
GenreNonfiction, Self Help, Relationships, Christian, Marriage, Psychology, Personal Development, Love, Christian Living, Religion, Christianity

The 5 Love Languages Review

  • Msmeemee
    January 1, 1970
    this book is a tool through which the author, gary chapman, can play out his jesus-complex disguised as a relationship self-help book. there are references from the bible throughout almost every chapter and gary likes to include generous praise from his clients who call him a "miracle worker." it's damn-near pretty close to being called god.the book has all the hallmarks of a bestseller: easy to read (i read it in one day); hopeless circumstances that seem beyond repair; and an uplifiting ending this book is a tool through which the author, gary chapman, can play out his jesus-complex disguised as a relationship self-help book. there are references from the bible throughout almost every chapter and gary likes to include generous praise from his clients who call him a "miracle worker." it's damn-near pretty close to being called god.the book has all the hallmarks of a bestseller: easy to read (i read it in one day); hopeless circumstances that seem beyond repair; and an uplifiting ending. the more bestsellers i read, the more i realize that the formula for mainstream media isn't just used in music and movies, it's used in books, too. ugh, how annoying. i admit, i was almost sold on it, too. the author used just the right amount of despair and at the appropriate moments, instilled hope for a better future. and while hope isn't bad at all, the book lacks in addressing the complexity of relationships as well as the diversity of relationships in today's world. for example, this book may not translate well in multicultural relationships that are dictated by a whole different set of mores and values. also, i wonder how it would be relevant to queer couples or polyamourous relationships. it's quite apparent that this book is meant for hetero-white-christian-monogamous couples.but the one major caveat of this book that isn't so much a caveat as a poorly disguised advocate of misogyny, is the case of a woman who has been abused (what type of abuse has been perpetrated isn't made explicit and gary's reluctance to do so makes me suspicious of how the church deals with issues of domestic violence). gary's advice? dismiss any of your own feelings of discomfort (being used for sex) and have sex with your husband as an act of love and hope that he will reciprocate that love. and what i don't understand is how people have overlooked this, even people who are in the psychology field. that's one thing he doesn't really address, how to identify your limits and make compromises. if you can't see the problem with this picture, i pray you never get married. or have a relationship. or speak to people.the gender roles in this book are fucking archaic. there's this little section where gary talks about the gender differences in sexual desire. according to him, these differences are all physiologically based. men simply have more tension built-up as a result of massive sperm generation whereas women don't, and that is why women don't crave sex the way men do. instead, women only want sex if their men meet their emotional needs. what, do men not need to have their emotional needs met? are they really just fucking animals who want to empty their over-spermed dicks? why don't they just jack off into a toilet for crying out loud? oops, am i not supposed to mention masturbation in the presence of god? and gary makes women seem like fucking prudes from the latest harlequin romance, the christian edition. gag. this man has very little knowledge of couples outside the realm of christian folklore.his section on physical touch made me laugh. i wasn't sure if the lame attempts at humor were to assuage his own discomfort or that of his audience. yes, gary, people have sex. i understand that when you tell me to rub my partner's leg with my foot that i should make sure i'm not rubbing the dog. harhar.to be fair, he touched on the basic fundamentals of communication with your partner, but i can hardly call this book revolutionary. his book on the five languages of love for children sound more useful just because the developmental stage they are in matches the dumbed-down tone of the book. you'd think he was writing for couples who were born in a vaccuum.i'm so over reading new york times bestsellers. we've been brainwashed into accepting that the typical mainstream formula is quality literature. i prefer real talk to fluffy shit, thank you.
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  • Catherine
    January 1, 1970
    This book was recommended to my friend by her pastor to read before she got married. My assumption was that it would be religious in tone and not very relevant to today's relationships. I'm so glad I was wrong! This is one of those books I would suggest everyone read. It is such a simple explanation of what can so often go wrong in relationships. It's not about men vs. women, it's about the way people receive love.The basis is there are 5 Love Languages (obviously). And if you speak a different This book was recommended to my friend by her pastor to read before she got married. My assumption was that it would be religious in tone and not very relevant to today's relationships. I'm so glad I was wrong! This is one of those books I would suggest everyone read. It is such a simple explanation of what can so often go wrong in relationships. It's not about men vs. women, it's about the way people receive love.The basis is there are 5 Love Languages (obviously). And if you speak a different love language than your partner, then you may not feel loved. The 5 Love Languages are:Words of AffirmationQuality TimeReceiving GiftsActs of ServicePhysical TouchI'm sure everyone responds to all of these in some way, but we all have a primary language. There is a great quiz in the back that can help you more quickly define yours. By reading the book, I knew what mine was, but the survey pinpointed it to a T and helped me rank mine by importance, even better than I think I could have done on my own. This book will help you in your current relationships (of all kinds, not just romantic) and any future relationships you'll have. It really pinpoints how relationships can fall apart after the honeymoon period is over, even if you still love each other. It helps you understand how to show your love for someone else in a way that they'll best receive it. I could give a bunch of examples from the book, but I want you to read it! So go get it from the library TODAY. Then share with me what your primary language is! I'd love to know everyone's. Mine is Words of Affirmation."Almost never do two people fall in love on the same day, and almost never do they fall out of love on the same day." "Love is something you do for someone else, not something you do for yourself."
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  • Malbadeen
    January 1, 1970
    This book is based on the premise that everyone has a "love language". Things others say or do that make one feel "loved",they are follows:-words of affirmation.-recieving gifts.-acts of service.-physical touch.-quality time.Personally I want you to tell me how great I am (words of affirmation) while walking in the house with a collection of poetry for me (receiving gifts), make a beeline for the trash that needs to be taken out (acts of service), then come back in and read quietly next to me (q This book is based on the premise that everyone has a "love language". Things others say or do that make one feel "loved",they are follows:-words of affirmation.-recieving gifts.-acts of service.-physical touch.-quality time.Personally I want you to tell me how great I am (words of affirmation) while walking in the house with a collection of poetry for me (receiving gifts), make a beeline for the trash that needs to be taken out (acts of service), then come back in and read quietly next to me (quality time) before I ride you like the wild stallion that you are (physical touch) so where does that leave me? Which love language am I? This book was not helpful (as indicated by the shelf it's on).
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  • Brittany
    January 1, 1970
    I think the basis for this self-help book is good. I totally get the "love languages" thing. My husband's "love language" is Physical Affection and mine is Quality Time. I totally see that. But this is like a "Love Language For Dummies." It talks to you like you're an idiot who has never had basic human social interaction before. And there isn't really any advice, just this guy rambling on about how smart he is for figuring out that people need to be loved in different ways. Like, his advice for I think the basis for this self-help book is good. I totally get the "love languages" thing. My husband's "love language" is Physical Affection and mine is Quality Time. I totally see that. But this is like a "Love Language For Dummies." It talks to you like you're an idiot who has never had basic human social interaction before. And there isn't really any advice, just this guy rambling on about how smart he is for figuring out that people need to be loved in different ways. Like, his advice for someone whose spouse (not partner, not lifemate, and - in this instance, always the wife) prefers "Acts of Service" as a love language (because wives love when their husband does the laundry for them, basically) is just that -- do the laundry without being asked. Well no shit. That's not real advice, that's common sense. And if the husband were to argue "I don't have time, I work a lot so that I can provide for my family" blah blah blah, he just says "WELL MAKE TIME." Super helpful, guy.Not to mention the book is sexist and heteronormative. Unfortunately, I did a little googling on the author AFTER the fact, and of course it is, because he's a Bible beater. I wish I had known that before I wasted my $7 on the Kindle book. I'd really like to see this concept updated and brought into the 21st century, written in such a manner as to A) actually include all walks of life, not just middle class straight white married couples, and B) actually offer advice that can be applied to a relationship.
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  • Jeff
    January 1, 1970
    This was recommended by a “friend” of my wife, which proves part of the old adage: “A friend of thy wife, is thine enemy”. That’s from the Bible or the Decameron or Archie Comics. I think.I’ll do the whole would-it-kill-you-to-read-something-positive-with-me-for-a-change thing if I want something in return in order spend some time with my wife. Plus, bonus, the audio book was relatively short.I’ve had to read a few scoops of self-help crap literature over the years, so I’m down with the lingo: This was recommended by a “friend” of my wife, which proves part of the old adage: “A friend of thy wife, is thine enemy”. That’s from the Bible or the Decameron or Archie Comics. I think.I’ll do the whole would-it-kill-you-to-read-something-positive-with-me-for-a-change thing if I want something in return in order spend some time with my wife. Plus, bonus, the audio book was relatively short.I’ve had to read a few scoops of self-help crap literature over the years, so I’m down with the lingo:Annie Wilkes’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. I’m OK (Neurotic, OCD, manic-depressive), You’re OK (Nymphomaniac, Daddy issues, Passive-aggressive).Untying my “inner child” from the radiator and letting him have ice cream with my “toxic” parents.Books that give you a “thought for the day”, you know, something cosmic and revelatory to think about and chew on for eternity (or until you close the book).Jeff, buddy, I’m breathless with anticipation! What are the five languages of love, already?Well, as a way to work into that, fanatical (and borderline crazy) Goodreader, let me explain the good doctor’s theory on the FIVE languages of love. Basically, we all speak a primary language and we all have a language of love that we learned from mommy and daddy.One of five languages of love.Five! Count ‘em, Five!What was that number again?So, that number is five, right?Stop dragging this out in order to post “five” gifs.According to Dr. Chapman, the five languages are:Now, I’m done.1) Giving gifts – If the last time you gave your wife flowers was when Nirvana was a thing, then this one isn’t you.2) Words of affirmation – These don’t include: “You’re an idiot/moron/devil/shrew/succubus etc.”3) Acts of Service or doing stuff for your loved one or something – Helping my wife bury the hoochies that chase after our son qualifies here.4) Quality time – It’s not me, me, me. Maybe your wife, wants to hang with you and do stuff, like, I don’t know, talk…5) Physical touch – It’s not only smexy times, but just being there, being present.Note to wife: Please treat every day like my birthday! So, in a nutshell, recognize your love language and your spouse’s love language and try to accommodate them in some small way.If I’ve saved your marriage, you’re welcome or just send me a check. Make it out to “CASH”.Warning! The doctor likes to work in the Christian stuff and this is strictly a hetero tome, so if the first is a turn off and you find the second limited, look for help elsewhere. And like anything in this world that makes money, Chapman has written enough additional books on this subject to choke a Tijuana stage show donkey.
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  • Hildie
    January 1, 1970
    My mother in law gave me this book and I hesitated reading it because it sounds so cheesy (and just take a look at the cover--how dorky!) But I was stuck on vacation with nothing else to read so I reluctantly gave it a try. In a nutshell, this book has changed my life. Page after page I found myself wanting to yell, "yes! Thats exactly right!" If I could give this more than five stars, I would. Okay, maybe "changed my life" is a bit strong, but it has certainly enhanced my marriage like nothing My mother in law gave me this book and I hesitated reading it because it sounds so cheesy (and just take a look at the cover--how dorky!) But I was stuck on vacation with nothing else to read so I reluctantly gave it a try. In a nutshell, this book has changed my life. Page after page I found myself wanting to yell, "yes! Thats exactly right!" If I could give this more than five stars, I would. Okay, maybe "changed my life" is a bit strong, but it has certainly enhanced my marriage like nothing else I've ever read or done.The advice this author gives is so profound and universal, it can be applied successfully to any deep relationship you have (children, parents, close friends). I just can't recommend it highly enough. Every couple, whether newly together or old marrieds, could benefit from this book.
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  • Maha Maged
    January 1, 1970
    الزواج في مجتمعنا بقي تعكير دائم لصفو الآخر، بيوت كتير بقي فيها زي حرب نفسية، ما تعرفش ده ايه ده فراغ ولا سطحية في تفكير الطرف اللي بيختلق النكد و لا ضغط المجتمع ، مع انه المفروض يبقي سكن و رحمة و مودة الكتاب ده نفسي ابعته للنساء الزنانة، اللي مش بيكترثوا باختيار الوقت أو الظرف المناسب ليتحدثن في أي أمر!.. نفسي ابعته للنساء اللي بتشعر بغيرة زوجية مستمرة بسبب أو من دون سبب، نفسي ابعته للزوجة اللحوحة اللي بتلاحق زوجها وتحيطه من كل جانب لدرجة تكاد تكبله وتخنقه، تجعله يشعر معها بالزهق والملل والإزعا الزواج في مجتمعنا بقي تعكير دائم لصفو الآخر، بيوت كتير بقي فيها زي حرب نفسية، ما تعرفش ده ايه ده فراغ ولا سطحية في تفكير الطرف اللي بيختلق النكد و لا ضغط المجتمع ، مع انه المفروض يبقي سكن و رحمة و مودة الكتاب ده نفسي ابعته للنساء الزنانة، اللي مش بيكترثوا باختيار الوقت أو الظرف المناسب ليتحدثن في أي أمر!.. نفسي ابعته للنساء اللي بتشعر بغيرة زوجية مستمرة بسبب أو من دون سبب، نفسي ابعته للزوجة اللحوحة اللي بتلاحق زوجها وتحيطه من كل جانب لدرجة تكاد تكبله وتخنقه، تجعله يشعر معها بالزهق والملل والإزعاج.نفسي ابعته للرجال العشوائيين الفوضويين اللي معندهمش اي مراعاة لظروف ومشاعر زوجاتهم ، الرجال الانانين اللي بيغلبوا دايما مصلحتهم الشخصية على أي أمر آخر حتى لو ترتبت عليه عواقب وخيمة غالبًا ما تلحق بزوجاتهم و أسرتهم وتؤثر عليه في الأخر سلبًا ان شاء الله !..للرجال اللي بيحبوا التطنيش و مش بيقدروا ان الاهتمام هو مفتاح اي علاقة ناجحة .نفسي أبعته للمخطوبين اللي بيحاولوا طول الوقت يقوموا بالتجمل والهدوء المصطنع أثناء الخِطبة .الكتاب بيتكلم عن ان لغات الحب خمسة لا غير" كلمات التشجيع ، تكريس الوقت ، تبادل الهدايا ، الأعمال الخدمية ، التواصل الجسدي " و بيوضح ده بأمثلة ممتعة الحقيقي و بما ان المعني الحقيقي للحياة ليس فقط في الانجازات و لكنه في العلاقات فالكتاب ده مهم بجد أقروه و حاولوا تطبقوه يمكن ينفعنا و ربنا يصلح حال بيوتنا بيه .
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  • KatieMc
    January 1, 1970
    I won't go into the circumstances which lead to this bizarre buddy read that took place at Disneyland. Sometimes life can be stranger than fiction. I will say that this book has some reasonably helpful thoughts and ideas, but... it is way too simplified and way too heteronormative and way too traditional Christian-value based to speak to me in any meaningful way. Every single example featured a husband/breadwinner and wife/homemaker (who sometimes worked outside the home) couple. In one example, I won't go into the circumstances which lead to this bizarre buddy read that took place at Disneyland. Sometimes life can be stranger than fiction. I will say that this book has some reasonably helpful thoughts and ideas, but... it is way too simplified and way too heteronormative and way too traditional Christian-value based to speak to me in any meaningful way. Every single example featured a husband/breadwinner and wife/homemaker (who sometimes worked outside the home) couple. In one example, when the wife was asked to describe something positive about her husband, she says: "he let's me keep any money I earn in my part time job". Another example included a young wife who wished her husband would change the baby's diaper when he got home from work because she was busy cooking dinner (HIM: I would like her to cook dinner for when I get home from work).... WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?!?!?! The author didn't overtly advocate for traditional gender roles in the home, but I couldn't help but think there was a subliminal message indicating his preference for this. In the one example where the husband seemed to take on a fair share of the cooking, cleaning and other assorted domestic chores, the wife complained. She wanted him to spend more time with her. As it turned out, the wife really wanted to cook and clean, but the husband was too efficient and didn't give her a chance to do so. Oh, happy ending. Needless to say, I'm crying feminist tears at this point.Don't get me wrong, I am all for good communication, respect and understanding how to make your spouse feel loved. But when this misogynist flavored relationship guru doled out advice to a woman in a 'horrible' marriage, I took issue. The details of horror of the marriage were largely unsaid, other than it was given that the husband cursed and said he hated his wife. This woman was very religious and clearly the idea of leaving her husband was at odds with her beliefs. Since the husband had no interest in seeking marriage counseling, the author/marriage counselor devised a unilateral plan he admitted didn't know would work. The crux of the plan was for the wife to speak to her husband in his love language, and hopefully he would eventually he would reciprocate and the love tanks would start to refill. This plan basically suggested, among other things, that the wife initiate sex with her husband (as his love language was physical touch) even though this idea did not appeal to the wife. Kind of a 'take one for the team' approach. The author clearly said that this was her decision to do so. Ok, so all this has the appearance of consenting adults and informed decisions, so where's the problem Katie? Oh, I don't know, how about emotional manipulation of the vulnerable? Call me cynical, but I picture an abused spouse (view spoiler)[emotional or physical, it makes no difference to me (hide spoiler)] reading this and thinking that I just need to have sex with my husband and maybe things will work out. And that leads me to the other big issue I had with this book. All the case studies were simple and tidy and all had happily ever afters. Not very realistic. This author only cited success stories and provided no useful examples of how this love language thing can go wrong. Overall, I think the idea of love languages seems reasonable, but I was sorely disappointed in the examples and approaches suggested by the author. At best, he gave an overly optimistic view of how implementing his ideas would work. (and if they don't work the first time, perhaps you could try one of his marriage $eminars or buy more of his book$) At worst, they pander to the emotionally vulnerable in abusive relationships, giving them specious relationship advice.
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  • Sheri
    January 1, 1970
    A quick and valuable read to help you better understand how you and your partner best like to express and receive love. Great for helping you see what you truly value in a partner and what your partner truly values in you.
  • Safaa Abdullah A.Fallatah
    January 1, 1970
    من أروع و أهم الكتب التي قرأتها .كتاب سهل وواضحة أفكاره جدًا ، ويتضمن الكثير من الأمثلة و التجارب الحقيقية ، والتي تقرب الأفكار بطريقة ممتازة .هو كتاب مهم لكل شخص ، لأنه لا يقتصر على الحب بين الأزواج ، بل يمكن تطبيقه على الحب الإنساني بكل أنواعه و أشكاله .أنصح الجميع بقراءته ، حتى لو لم يكونوا واقعين في الحب أو متزوجين .
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  • Shannon (leaninglights)
    January 1, 1970
    4.5 starsI absolutely recommend this book to EVERYONE. Whether you are married, dating, single, whatever. The ideas and concepts in this book will benefit any relationship. The idea of loving others the way they need to be loved might feel counterintuitive, but it something so essential to growing as a person and understanding what love really is.I had always known about this book and the love languages, but this was the first time I actually read it. Of course, as with any self-help type of boo 4.5 starsI absolutely recommend this book to EVERYONE. Whether you are married, dating, single, whatever. The ideas and concepts in this book will benefit any relationship. The idea of loving others the way they need to be loved might feel counterintuitive, but it something so essential to growing as a person and understanding what love really is.I had always known about this book and the love languages, but this was the first time I actually read it. Of course, as with any self-help type of book, there were a few cheesy moments, which is why I docked it half a star, but overall it was a fantastic read!
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  • Amal
    January 1, 1970
    هذاالكتاب قام بالاجابة على كثير من الألغاز التي قد حيرتني في ما مضى..لماذا يشعر شخص ما في عائلة ما أنه غير محبوب ؟؟لماذا لا يستطيع بعض الأشخاص التعبير عن حبهم للآخرين ؟؟لماذا يتوقف البعض في مرحلة من حياتهم عن حب بعضهم البعض ؟؟ لماذا لا يقدر الآخر ما أقوم به ؟؟عندما تظن بأنك وصلت لمرحلة من الوعي تجعلك تفهم من حولك يأتي مثل هذا الكتاب المضيء ليقول لك بأنك مازلت تتلمس طريقك في الظلمة هذا كتاب يجعلك أكثر تسامحا مع البشرية و يجعلك كائنا ناضجا و واعيا و متفهما لن أتحدث عن محتواه لأني سأظلمه أكتشفه بن هذاالكتاب قام بالاجابة على كثير من الألغاز التي قد حيرتني في ما مضى..لماذا يشعر شخص ما في عائلة ما أنه غير محبوب ؟؟لماذا لا يستطيع بعض الأشخاص التعبير عن حبهم للآخرين ؟؟لماذا يتوقف البعض في مرحلة من حياتهم عن حب بعضهم البعض ؟؟ لماذا لا يقدر الآخر ما أقوم به ؟؟عندما تظن بأنك وصلت لمرحلة من الوعي تجعلك تفهم من حولك يأتي مثل هذا الكتاب المضيء ليقول لك بأنك مازلت تتلمس طريقك في الظلمة هذا كتاب يجعلك أكثر تسامحا مع البشرية و يجعلك كائنا ناضجا و واعيا و متفهما لن أتحدث عن محتواه لأني سأظلمه أكتشفه بنفسك أنصح بقراءته و بشدة.
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  • Marnie Krüger
    January 1, 1970
    This year I'm doing a Reading Challenge; so I have 26 books with specific subjects that I need to read. BOOK21: A book that will improve a specific area of your life I think every married couple should read this at least once.Do the quiz and know what Love Language your partner speaks.For the advice given in this book I give Chapman a five star rating.The writing on the other hand was not that good. He tends to "speak" down to the reader, making you think - I am not that stupid. Also he repeats This year I'm doing a Reading Challenge; so I have 26 books with specific subjects that I need to read. BOOK21: A book that will improve a specific area of your life I think every married couple should read this at least once.Do the quiz and know what Love Language your partner speaks.For the advice given in this book I give Chapman a five star rating.The writing on the other hand was not that good. He tends to "speak" down to the reader, making you think - I am not that stupid. Also he repeats himself A LOT!Reading this I think is the easy part: to practice what Chapman suggest is the difficult part.
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  • Al
    January 1, 1970
    blahblahblahblahDoing what your spouse asks of you makes them love you more. There. I just saved you $14.
  • Taghrid
    January 1, 1970
    من اهم الكتب التي تناولت موضوع الحب بشكل عقلاني وباسلوب ممتع بنفس الوقتانصح الجميع بقرائته (لو كان بإمكاني لسلمت نسخة من هذا الكتاب لكل زوج و زوجة في هذه البلاد واقول له لقد كتبت هذا الكتاب من اجلك, وامل ان تغير حياتك , واذا استفدت منه اعطه لشخص اخر وحيث انني لا استنطيع فعل هذا فسأكون سعيداً اذا اعطيت هذه نسخة من هذا الكتاب لعائلتك , ولاخوانك و أخواتك , وكذلك لابنائك المتزوجين , ولموظفيك, ولرفقائك في النادي , ومن يدري ربما يمكننا أن نحقق أحلامنا )
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  • Lachelle
    January 1, 1970
    My dad actually recommended this book to me and I finally decided to check it out from the library. Although I think my husband and I have a good relationship - it was amazing how much I learned from this book! And how I realized that by understand how we communicate differently - it could strengthen our relationship. I would recommend this book to just about anyone! A lot of it seems common sense but it's a good reminder and an eye-opener to read it.
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  • Bayan Al-Halabi
    January 1, 1970
    كتاب ملهم! عليّ بداية أن أعترف بعدم انجذابي للكتاب حين قرأت عنوانه وموضوعه، لكن المحتوى فاجأني حقيقةً.إن نحّينا جانباً عبارة (كيف تعبر عن حبك العميق لشريك حياتك) –وهكذا فعلت، فلا شريك لدي ، ولا يهمني الأمر بتاتاً في هذه المرحلة- واعتبرت أنها ( كيف تعبر عن حبك العميق للأشخاص من حولك) ، وتركت للكتاب فرصة إقناعك بجدارته فكن متأكداً أنه سيفعل على أكمل وجه، عن الكتاب: لكل امرئ منا لغة حب خاصة به يفصح عنها بطلباته واهتماماته بأسلوب غير مباشر ودورك يكمن في تتبع سلوكياته لتخاطبه باللغة التي يفقهها، ما أ كتاب ملهم! عليّ بداية أن أعترف بعدم انجذابي للكتاب حين قرأت عنوانه وموضوعه، لكن المحتوى فاجأني حقيقةً.إن نحّينا جانباً عبارة (كيف تعبر عن حبك العميق لشريك حياتك) –وهكذا فعلت، فلا شريك لدي ، ولا يهمني الأمر بتاتاً في هذه المرحلة- واعتبرت أنها ( كيف تعبر عن حبك العميق للأشخاص من حولك) ، وتركت للكتاب فرصة إقناعك بجدارته فكن متأكداً أنه سيفعل على أكمل وجه، عن الكتاب: لكل امرئ منا لغة حب خاصة به يفصح عنها بطلباته واهتماماته بأسلوب غير مباشر ودورك يكمن في تتبع سلوكياته لتخاطبه باللغة التي يفقهها، ما أهمية هذا؟ حين يبذل الآباء مالاً وجهداً في التعبير عن حبهم لأبنائهم بإعطائهم هدايا فيقابل الأمر بسلبية بحتة من قبل الابن الذي طالما عبرّ عن إحساسه بكره والديه إياه، موقف كهذا يُعلمك –إن أحسنت الانتباه- أن ابنك لا يتحدث لغة تبادل الهدايا التي لا تعنيه ولا تسعده إطلاقاً.. فربما كانت لغته تكريس الوقت وبالتالي فإن ساعةً مع والديه تغنيه عن هداياهم كافّة ومن ثم تقربه منهم - مثال عن فكرة الكتاب-كيف تعرف لغتك الخاصة؟ ثمة في نهاية الكتاب مخطط مخصص لهذا، وعلى عكس كتب التنمية البشرية ، فإنك لن تشعر بالملل حين تقرأ..
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  • Reem Alkhalaf
    January 1, 1970
    هل تعتقدين أنكِ مخدوعة بزواجك من شخص كان من المفترض أن يكون هو المناسب، ولكن بعد الزواج اتضح أنه مختلف تماماً وما كان يجذبك به قد اختفى ؟ هل بذلتي كل ما بوسعك كأم ولكن النتيجة لم تكن مرضية بالنسبة لكِ وفي أعماق قلبك تشعرين أنكِ أم سيئة ؟ حسناً لدي الجواب لكِ عزيزتي أو حتى لك أيها الرجل إن كانت لديك هذه التساؤلات بما يخص زوجتك أو حتى أولادك وكنت مهتم بالوصول لحل مناسب ومرضي لجميع الأطراف. أولاً لنعلم أن الحل ليس بأن يضع الفرد اللوم على نفسه أو حتى على الطرف الآخر إن كان هنالك خلل، وربما لا علاقة هل تعتقدين أنكِ مخدوعة بزواجك من شخص كان من المفترض أن يكون هو المناسب، ولكن بعد الزواج اتضح أنه مختلف تماماً وما كان يجذبك به قد اختفى ؟ هل بذلتي كل ما بوسعك كأم ولكن النتيجة لم تكن مرضية بالنسبة لكِ وفي أعماق قلبك تشعرين أنكِ أم سيئة ؟ حسناً لدي الجواب لكِ عزيزتي أو حتى لك أيها الرجل إن كانت لديك هذه التساؤلات بما يخص زوجتك أو حتى أولادك وكنت مهتم بالوصول لحل مناسب ومرضي لجميع الأطراف. أولاً لنعلم أن الحل ليس بأن يضع الفرد اللوم على نفسه أو حتى على الطرف الآخر إن كان هنالك خلل، وربما لا علاقة للطرفين بما يحصل إنما هي اللغة المستخدمة للتواصل والتي يناقشها هذا الكتاب وسأوضحها بكل بساطة وسهولة. إن كنت تتحدث الصينية ولكن شريك حياتك لا يجيد هذه اللغة بل لغته الأم هي العربية هل ستتمكن من التواصل معه وايصال مشاعرك العاطفية اتجاهه ؟ بالتأكيد لا سيواجه كل الطرفين العديد من الصعوبات إلى أن يتقن كل شخص لغة الآخر ثم يحدث التواصل بسهولة ويسر. بإختصار هذا ما يتطرق له الكتاب ، فقد ناقش هذه اللغات الخمس كل على حدى بإيجاز وتبسيط مع ذكر قصص واقعية عالجها للعديد من الأزواج بوظيفتة كإستشاري للعلاقات الزوجية، كما سيشرح السبب الرئيسي في تغير شريك الحياة بعد الزواج ويوضح مرحلة الوقوع في الحب والحب والإختلاف بينهما. الكتاب جمييل جداً ومفيد خصوصاً للفئة التي ذكرتها مسبقاً بالإضافة للفضولين أمثالي، في هذا الكتاب ستتمكن من معرفة لغة الحب الخاصة بك وبشريك حياتك وحتى بأطفالك وسيختصر عليك طريق طويل، كما ستستمتع بقصص الأزواج وكيفية تحول إخفاقهم لنجاح وحب. *ملاحظة غير مهمة : أثناء كتابتي للمراجعة تذكرت قناة تميمة للدعاية والإعلان (كنت من أشد متابعينها في طفولتي ولا أعلم إلى الآن سبب حبي للدعايات في تلك الفترة) فالإسلوب يتشابه من ناحية الترويج والتسويق، ولكن هناك اختلاف واحد ان سبب المدح هو اعجابي بالكتاب وليس اي مقابل مادي تم دفعه
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  • حماس
    January 1, 1970
    كنتُ دائمًا أسألُ زوجى:-ما الذى تعيبه علىّ؟-أو ما الذى إذا فعلته تشعر بحبي لك؟وكان يجيبنى لا أنكر ذلك، ولكنى كنتُ أرى أن ما يقوله ليس أساسيًا وأن هناك الأكثر أهمية للتعبير عن الحب بغير هذه الصورةلذلك فكنتُ غالبًا لا أتغير ولا حتى أمل من السؤال لأننى كنت أريد الإجابة التى أريدها أنا...حتى قرأتُ هذا الكتابلا أكذب أبدًا حين أقول أن هذا الكتاب سيغير حياتى جذريًافهمتُ إجابات زوجى، وعرفت لغة الحب خاصته وخاصتى، وأدركتُ تباين الرغباتولا أستطيع أن أصف مدى سعادتى وفرحتى الآن،هذا الكتاب سأحرص بشدة على الحص كنتُ دائمًا أسألُ زوجى:-ما الذى تعيبه علىّ؟-أو ما الذى إذا فعلته تشعر بحبي لك؟وكان يجيبنى لا أنكر ذلك، ولكنى كنتُ أرى أن ما يقوله ليس أساسيًا وأن هناك الأكثر أهمية للتعبير عن الحب بغير هذه الصورةلذلك فكنتُ غالبًا لا أتغير ولا حتى أمل من السؤال لأننى كنت أريد الإجابة التى أريدها أنا...حتى قرأتُ هذا الكتابلا أكذب أبدًا حين أقول أن هذا الكتاب سيغير حياتى جذريًافهمتُ إجابات زوجى، وعرفت لغة الحب خاصته وخاصتى، وأدركتُ تباين الرغباتولا أستطيع أن أصف مدى سعادتى وفرحتى الآن،هذا الكتاب سأحرص بشدة على الحصول على نسخة ورقية منهفهو الكنز المهدى من السماء لى.
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  • Ellyn
    January 1, 1970
    I would never have read this book on my own but was urged to read it after a debate with a friend of my roommate. It's written by a marriage counselor and directed towards couples, but it can be applied to all relationships, both romantic and platonic. The author's theory is that there are five major ways to express love (the five love languages). Each of us has a primary love language, and relationship problems occur when others fail to express love to us in that language. It's an interesting t I would never have read this book on my own but was urged to read it after a debate with a friend of my roommate. It's written by a marriage counselor and directed towards couples, but it can be applied to all relationships, both romantic and platonic. The author's theory is that there are five major ways to express love (the five love languages). Each of us has a primary love language, and relationship problems occur when others fail to express love to us in that language. It's an interesting theory but WAY oversimplified, and I was extremely bothered by one of the real life stories where the author encourages a wife to stay with an abusive husband and rescue their marriage by learning his love language. That's crap! The book is written from a religious perspective, and I struggled a lot with that as well. Overall, I wasn't so impressed, but I did conclude that my love language is Quality Time, and I've been surprised by how much insight that has provided into how I operate in relationships. For that alone, it gets two stars instead of one.
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  • Nikki
    January 1, 1970
    This book looks cheesy as fuck from the outside, but it's full of practical, down-to-earth wisdom. If you are married (or thinking about getting married), divorced (or thinking about getting divorced), read this book.
  • Matthew Moes
    January 1, 1970
    The author says love is a choice. He says that the infatuation that people experience in the beginning of the relationship is not real love. It is something else. Real love takes work while the infatuation period is instinctual and effortless. But isn't it the stuff we dream of and wish would last forever? Can we really accept that we will only get that chance at the beginning of the relationship and that thereafter, in order to remain monogamous, we must accept that it is not for us to feel eve The author says love is a choice. He says that the infatuation that people experience in the beginning of the relationship is not real love. It is something else. Real love takes work while the infatuation period is instinctual and effortless. But isn't it the stuff we dream of and wish would last forever? Can we really accept that we will only get that chance at the beginning of the relationship and that thereafter, in order to remain monogamous, we must accept that it is not for us to feel ever again? It explains a lot. But I accept his theory with the angst of a romantic.Yet anyone who is married and holds married life as a value that must be maintained must at some point consider the notion that making the marriage work after the honeymoon can be a matter of personal choice. And in so choosing, there are actions that communicate that willingness to different people psychologically. These are the five love languages that the author discusses: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Giving Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical Touch. I will not go into any details of what is meant by each of these here. The titles are somewhat self-explanatory, with the exception of the last one, which does not necessarily refer to sex. The author explains each love language along with the concept that most people are chiefly responsive to just one. He also discusses how to determine your own as well as your spouse's, and even provides some optimistic advice on how to practice the love languages with an unreciprocating partner. Despite the author's Christian underpinnings, as a non-Christian, to me this did not detract from the relevance of the author's ideas.In fact, these "love languages" are not confined only to the marriage relationship, but may also serve to strengthen bonds with children - or perhaps any other person you need to communicate your love and support for. I especially found the chapter on children the most valuable because it not only expands the concept beyond the marriage relationship, but also drives home the point. We might have a choice as to whether we wish to stay married or not - but our children are ours forever.And this brings me back to the point about marriage. Far from being ready to claim mastery of the ultimate male-female partnership, I have reflected upon it a great deal. In an age where the divorce rate challenges the age-old institution upon which the family is built, one must ask how marriages were ever successful in the past. Some may point out that they really weren't, but that society simply forced two people to be miserable by making it taboo to separate. And this then begs the question, why would the world's varied cultures and divinely inspired religions condone this relationship again and again? In fact, I would venture to point out that for the vast measure of our recorded history marriage has not only been a standard, but has also been traditionally arranged! What ancient wisdom allowed such "life-sentences" to form such a firm foundation for the basic building block of society?I suspect the answer lies right here in this book. As hard as it may be to admit, the commonplace yearning for finding a new and exciting fling is quite likely an unfortunate addiction to a desire that in its very nature is meant to be only a temporary rush that pulls two people inexplicably together at the heart during their initial engagement. It is later, through maturity and insight into what makes the other person tick that we can choose to make each other perpetually happy and foster the bonds of enduring love. This book provides some valid insight into this process. It is light and easy reading that I think every couple should invest some time into, again and again.MM March 1, 2005
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  • ياسمين ثابت
    January 1, 1970
    اكره التنمية البشرية ومع ذلك حين بدأت قراءة كتب باللغة الانجليزية كان صعب بالنسبة لي ان اقرأها في لغة ادبية روائية لذلك وحتى احفز نفسي لقراءة وانهاء كتب بالانجليزية اضطررت لقراءة مثل هذه الاعمالولكن وياللعجب الكتاب اعجبني لا اعلم هل هي عقدة الخواجة ام ان الكتاب فعلا كان جيدططبعا الكلام في الكتاب قد يكون مألوف للجميع او نعلمه ولكن الجميل في الكتاب انه وضعه في في نظرية واضحة او بمعنى اصح عبر عن ما نعرفه في اعماقنا بشكل سلس وله معنى.الكتاب يتحدث باختصار عن مشكلة البشر ان كل انسان له طريقة في تعبير اكره التنمية البشرية ومع ذلك حين بدأت قراءة كتب باللغة الانجليزية كان صعب بالنسبة لي ان اقرأها في لغة ادبية روائية لذلك وحتى احفز نفسي لقراءة وانهاء كتب بالانجليزية اضطررت لقراءة مثل هذه الاعمالولكن وياللعجب الكتاب اعجبني لا اعلم هل هي عقدة الخواجة ام ان الكتاب فعلا كان جيدططبعا الكلام في الكتاب قد يكون مألوف للجميع او نعلمه ولكن الجميل في الكتاب انه وضعه في في نظرية واضحة او بمعنى اصح عبر عن ما نعرفه في اعماقنا بشكل سلس وله معنى.الكتاب يتحدث باختصار عن مشكلة البشر ان كل انسان له طريقة في تعبيره عن الحب مختلفة عن الاخر وليس بالضرورة التعبير عن الحب للزوج او الحبيب ولكن ايضا الاب والابن والحفيد والاصدقاء وكل انواع العلاقاتصور الكاتب الامر على انه لغة حب وحين تتحدث مع شخص مثلا من اسبانيا عليك ان تحدثه بالاسبانية لتتواصل معه بشكل افضل وطريقة تعليمك لغته واحساسك بان اللغة ثقيلة لانها مختلفة عن لغتك الام (او بمعنى اصح لغة حبك)وضع الكاتب خمس انواع للتعبير عن الحب 1- اظهار الحب بكلمات التشجيع والدعم والتحفيز – الكلام الايجابي عامة بعيدًا عن اي نقد سلبي 2- تخصيص وقت لهذا الشخص لكي لا تفعل اي شئ على الاطلاق سوى النظر في عينيه والاستماع اليه والى مشاعره دون ان تستمع اليه وانت تشاهد التلفاز مثلا او تلعب في الموبايل او تستعمل الكمبيوتر وان يكون هذا الوقت يومي ليشعر الاخر انك تحبه (وهي لغة الحب الخاصة بي والتي كانت سبب في انهاء علاقات كثيرة في حياتي لان من حولي لا يفهمون هذه النقطة واحتياجي لها ويصفوني باني ما بزهقش ومملة)3- لغة الحب المعتمدة على اللمس الجسدي – الاحضان القبلات مسك الايدي او الاتصال الجسدي بمعنى يمكن ان تكون جالس مع هذا الشخص لا تتحدث اليه وهو مشغول في الكمبيوتر مثلا ولا تقول له كلام حلو ولا تفعل اي شئ سوى انك تمر بجانبه تقبله وهو مشغول او تلعب في شعره او تحضنه من الخلف فهذه لغة الحب الوحيدة التي يتمناها4- الخدمات – كأن تغسل له ثيابه ترتبها تكويها ترتب سريره تحضر له طبخة جيدة – تخلص له مشوار او تجلب له شئ كان بحاجته او تكنس له الارض او او او ان تخدمه هذه هي الطريقة التي يحب ان يتلقى بها حبك فلا يشعر انك تحبه مهما قلت له كلام حلو او جلست تتحدث معه طالما انك لم تفعل شئ لخدمته 5- الهدايا – طبعا كلنا يعرف هذا النوع من الحبيقول الكاتب انه كل البشر يحتاجون هذه اللغات الخمس بطبيعة الحال لكن تختلف اولوية اللغة الام بالنسبة له من شخص لاخريتحدث عن العديد من الامثلة بين ازواج وزوجات قاموا باللجوء اليه باعتباره مستشار خاص بالمشاكل الزوجية يتحدث عن امثلة من الحياة ومشكلات كثيرة وكيف تغير هذان الزوجان بمجرد اتباع النصائح في تفهم طبيعة لغة حب كل منهمابقية فصول الكتاب تتحدث عن كيفية اكتشافك لغة الحب الخاصة بكوكيفية اكتشاف لغة الحب الخاصة بالشخص المعني بالنسبة لكفصل يتحدث عن الابناء في سن صغيرة وكيف تكتشف لغة حبهمفصل عن طبيعة تغير الحب بعد الزواج وكيف يتم المحافظة عليهبغض النظر عن القوالب الموجودة في الكتاب لان كلنا يعلم ان البشر ليسوا نسخ من بعض لكنه كلام الى حد ما يضعك على بداية االطريق ويشرح لك لماذا حين تعطي شخص ما لا يفرق في تعامله معك ببساطة لانك تعطيه حب بطريقة لا تناسب احتياجهكأن تعطي سمكة طعاما لكلب ستموت السمكة جوعًاوهي حقيقة اعاني منها مع اسرتي وفي علاقاتي مع الاسفاحببت الكتاب بالفعل وانصح بقراءته
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  • Ashley
    January 1, 1970
    I loved this book! Before reading I had considered the premise to be very basic, common-sense knowledge and didn't think the book would tell me anything I couldn't have figured out on my own. Five love languages, not everyone speaks the same love language....ok, well as long as you know what they are, shouldn't have to read the book, right? Wrong. Gary Chapman's years of marriage counseling have brought him invaluable insights that EVERYONE should be privy to. I'm not just talking married couple I loved this book! Before reading I had considered the premise to be very basic, common-sense knowledge and didn't think the book would tell me anything I couldn't have figured out on my own. Five love languages, not everyone speaks the same love language....ok, well as long as you know what they are, shouldn't have to read the book, right? Wrong. Gary Chapman's years of marriage counseling have brought him invaluable insights that EVERYONE should be privy to. I'm not just talking married couples, I'm talking parents, children, friends...anyone in any relationship should know this stuff. Chapman explains what each love language entails, and gives examples of some of the "dialects" in each language (for example, quality time may mean quality conversation.) And then he tells you very specifically what you can do to learn to "speak" each love language. There are books geared towards different types of relationships that are probably worth taking a look at, too...but this one is fantastic!
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  • Yen-Tzu
    January 1, 1970
    Reasons I read this book:- It was free;and on a slightly more embarrassing note- I read blogs about The Bachelor and The Bachelorette and every season someone very seriously mentions their "love language", and not even in a self-deprecatingly British way, which is really the only way to pull off saying, "my love language is words of affirmation". Just to be clear, I don't actually watch the television show, I just really enjoy reading blogs that analyse each episode and all of the delightfully r Reasons I read this book:- It was free;and on a slightly more embarrassing note- I read blogs about The Bachelor and The Bachelorette and every season someone very seriously mentions their "love language", and not even in a self-deprecatingly British way, which is really the only way to pull off saying, "my love language is words of affirmation". Just to be clear, I don't actually watch the television show, I just really enjoy reading blogs that analyse each episode and all of the delightfully ridiculous things that happen. When people question this life choice, I like to think that it's my flaws that make me human.Now that I've hopefully sufficiently justified why I read this book, let's get to the content. As advertised in the title, this book is about five love languages. They are, in no particular order:1. Words of affirmation2. Quality time3. Receiving gifts4. Acts of service5. Physical touchThat list should have come with a spoiler tag because it's all rather self-explanatory, and now there's no reason for you to read the book. I'm sorry. (I'm actually not really, but apologising just seemed like the polite thing to do here.)The author implores you throughout the book to discover the love language of your significant other and then everything will be fine if you focus on meeting that one need. In my very humble opinion through knowledge gained largely by reading blogs on The Bachelor, I'd suggest being a bit more ambitious and trying to provide your partner with all these forms of love.So, things I liked about the book:- It's always nice to be reminded that one shouldn't be complacent in a relationship and you should remember to express your love.- I like the very specific examples about how you can express love in various ways because I'm lazy and now I can just shamelessly steal ideas straight from the book. Things that were bizarre:- The author was rather self-promotional about this book in the book itself. He kept encouraging the reader to give this book to family and friends.- The examples given about complaints wive and husbands had about each other were all very archaic (or rather I hope they are):Wife: We never talk.Husband: You should have dinner ready by the time I get back home.Highlight of the book:The author counsels a woman who was reluctant to be intimate with her husband anymore (it was a failing marriage) to initiate sex with her husband by leaning on Jesus and her faith. Here are some choice quotes: “You will probably have to rely heavily upon your faith in God in order to do this. Perhaps it will help if you read again Jesus’ sermon on loving your enemies”“You are simply choosing to do something for his benefit. I think that must be what Jesus meant.”Holy crap!
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  • Gaijinmama
    January 1, 1970
    The premise of this best-selling book is quite simple, but many of us haven't tried looking at our marriages this way. In short, people have their own, often unconscious way of expressing love and rarely do two spouses have the same "Love Language." This can cause trouble in a marriage because we may simply not understand the way in which our partner is expressing his or her love, even if s/he is trying really hard to express it and has NO idea we aren't getting it. In turn, s/he may not feel lo The premise of this best-selling book is quite simple, but many of us haven't tried looking at our marriages this way. In short, people have their own, often unconscious way of expressing love and rarely do two spouses have the same "Love Language." This can cause trouble in a marriage because we may simply not understand the way in which our partner is expressing his or her love, even if s/he is trying really hard to express it and has NO idea we aren't getting it. In turn, s/he may not feel loved if we are "speaking a different language." Thus, we could be struggling for years and still be completely misreading each other.To my surprise, my husband was actually willing to take the quiz at the end of the book with me, and we have had a FABULOUS few days so far. Just knowing which Love Language is most important to each other can make us happier, and an awful lot less frustrated.Let's see if he keeps this up (nudge-nudge, wink-wink!).A couple things that annoyed me: the author is a devout Christian and mentions his beliefs a little more often than I would prefer. And he is more than a trifle sexist. He's convinced that women mainly have sex for emotional reasons whereas men have a stronger physical need. In a word: bullshit. On the men's version of the quiz there is a question about "loving to have sex with my wife", but on the women's version, the wording is changed to "I love cuddling with my husband".BAH HUMBUG to that! Dr. Chapman, sir, it is the 21st Century. Do you truly think that most women have that hard of a time admitting that they enjoy having sex?!Poppycock and balderdash and Honey, puh-leeze! Dr. Chapman, I really do feel you, and I cannot tell you how delighted I am that you got my husband's attention, but you just lost yourself a 5-star rating for going on and on about the Gospel of Luke and for being stuck in the Victorian era in terms of gender differences.In spite of that, I found the book readable, useful and, if my husband's behavior is any indication, very helpful.**2014 Follow-up:Still works for me. It helps just knowing that Mr. Gaijinpapa is trying to express love in his own way, which isn't my way, but hey I am me and he is he..so I appreciate his effort and I try to understand his way and do not try to change him. After 23 years, I think romance is all well and good, but marriage is really about patience and being willing to accept each other for who you are..I am still Royally Pissed Off about the Gender and Kinda Fundamentalist Religious stuff. Dr. Chapman, Sir, I maintain that women like to get some! Cuddles are nice too, and guys might be happier and healthier if society would allow them to admit that they too need to cuddle sometimes, but sometimes we ladies want..you know...It and why pretend otherwise?
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  • Joe Wisniewski
    January 1, 1970
    Everyone has "the" relationship book. This book will NOT automatically solve all relationship problems. People have to want to work on things; have to want to communicate needs and expectations. Having said that, I have not seen a better way to tie in to your significant other's point of view, then trying to understand how THEY need to have love expressed. But even more importantly, maybe, is looking at ourselves and seeing how we automatically expect others to "get" love the way that we need to Everyone has "the" relationship book. This book will NOT automatically solve all relationship problems. People have to want to work on things; have to want to communicate needs and expectations. Having said that, I have not seen a better way to tie in to your significant other's point of view, then trying to understand how THEY need to have love expressed. But even more importantly, maybe, is looking at ourselves and seeing how we automatically expect others to "get" love the way that we need to 'get' it. Which is simply not the way it works.I was especially enlighted when Chapman talks about the difference between love as a "feeling" and love as an "action". The latter is what Christ is asking us to do.I had previously read the "Peacegiver". These two books together would be an excellenet companion set.
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  • Samuel
    January 1, 1970
    I read this book in 2 days; it is a quick read that incorporates stories to illustrate human nature when it comes to expressing love--especially in marriage. It is brilliant not for its originality of ideas but rather in its categorization and clarity of ideas. In the words of John Lennon, "All you need is love." Love is the most important thing, and yet, many people have a truly hard time feeling loved and successfully expressing love to those who matter most to them. Why is this? Dr. Chapman t I read this book in 2 days; it is a quick read that incorporates stories to illustrate human nature when it comes to expressing love--especially in marriage. It is brilliant not for its originality of ideas but rather in its categorization and clarity of ideas. In the words of John Lennon, "All you need is love." Love is the most important thing, and yet, many people have a truly hard time feeling loved and successfully expressing love to those who matter most to them. Why is this? Dr. Chapman thinks it is because people speak different love languages. Within these broad fields there are different "dialects" but overall there are five love languages that people value: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. In general, each individual has a "primary language" or two that he (or she) values above others. As a result of our complex variations of nurture and nature, people have individual preferences. When we are "courting" someone we experience the euphoria of "falling in love" and in general all of these languages are "spoken" between two parties to some degree. But after marriage (or even after about two years of courting--the euphoria stage rarely lasts a few months longer than two years), expressing love continually becomes less natural. It is common to focus on expressing love the way we want it expressed to us rather than understanding the needs of our spouse and choosing to "speak their language;" true love requires choice and sacrifice. This is not rocket science, but I found it very helpful to read through it and recognize the power of thinking through this simple revelation of differences in expectation and affection.
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  • المدرب محمد الملا
    January 1, 1970
    الكتاب جديد في طرحه وموضوعه عن الحب .. رغم بداهة إن طريقة التعبير عن الحب تختلف من شخص لشخص إلا إن الكتاب وضعها في إطارها الصحيح وجعلها في سياق علمي من خلال المقدمة عن (الوقوع في الحب) وفي سياق عملي عن طيق الخاتمة التي اشار فيها إلى نقاط جديرة بالإعتبار، خصوصاً تلك النقطة عن التي يكون فيها الحب قد مات فعلاً الكتاب رائع فعلاً، وأنصح به للجميع وليس فقط المتزوجين، هو يجعلك تفهم لغات الحب إلى كل الناس ولأني لم أجد مأ أضيفه للكتاب أوأعلق عليه فيه فإني أعطي الكتاب خمس نجوم
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  • Samantha
    January 1, 1970
    I highly recommend this book for ANY couple. Married, engaged, dating, gay, straight. It matters not. I even recommend it if you're single. My husband and I were on the verge of divorce, even separated, but after some counseling and reading this book it has helped us out tremendously! I bought a copy for my mom, sisters, and brother because I think it is that important to read his book and understand your significant others love language.
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