How to Survive the Loss of a Love
Discusses the variety of reactions that people experience because of the loss of a love and provides numerous recommendations for coping with pain and achieving comfort.

How to Survive the Loss of a Love Details

TitleHow to Survive the Loss of a Love
Author
LanguageEnglish
ReleaseNov 21st, 2006
PublisherPrelude Press
ISBN-139780931580437
Rating
GenreNonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Relationships

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How to Survive the Loss of a Love Review

  • Una Tiers
    January 1, 1970
    Years back, a friend gave me her copy of this book. For years, I gave copies to friends. I reread this book, forgetting that grieving is a process that varies from person to person and topic to topic. It is simple and I highly recommend reading it. If they let me write a chapter, I would say you can eat Dove bars or spaghetti for breakfast if you need to. And, remember to drink water.
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  • Katie
    January 1, 1970
    I'm not normally a big self-help reader. Not that I think there's anything wrong with reading self-help books or anything; they just aren't normally what I pick up off the shelf. However, I would absolutely recommend this book to anyone going through a serious (or even not so serious) loss. It was recommended to me by a dear friend, and I'm so thankful. The best thing I can say about this book is that as I read it, I kept thinking, "Yes. Yes! That is exactly how I'm feeling, but I just couldn't I'm not normally a big self-help reader. Not that I think there's anything wrong with reading self-help books or anything; they just aren't normally what I pick up off the shelf. However, I would absolutely recommend this book to anyone going through a serious (or even not so serious) loss. It was recommended to me by a dear friend, and I'm so thankful. The best thing I can say about this book is that as I read it, I kept thinking, "Yes. Yes! That is exactly how I'm feeling, but I just couldn't put words to it." I laughed, I cried, I felt less like a crazy person.
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  • April
    January 1, 1970
    "If you have a physical injury you are hospitalized, friends bring flowers, relatives bring baskets of fruit, you lie in bed all day--nurses give backrubs--you are pampered. If you have an emotional injury, you are expected to show up for work the next morning and be as efficient as ever. You must, in short, deal with a world that simply does not accept the fact that emotional pain hurts." This is such a sad fact: no one understands the time needed to emotionally heal. It's a process. I would re "If you have a physical injury you are hospitalized, friends bring flowers, relatives bring baskets of fruit, you lie in bed all day--nurses give backrubs--you are pampered. If you have an emotional injury, you are expected to show up for work the next morning and be as efficient as ever. You must, in short, deal with a world that simply does not accept the fact that emotional pain hurts." This is such a sad fact: no one understands the time needed to emotionally heal. It's a process. I would recommend this book to anyone who has lost a loved one, been dumped, or had some really traumatic thing happen to them. If you feel pain about some love that you've lost, whether it be a job, pet, spouse, house or dream, read this book! It will only take you about an hour if you read it the entire way through, but I wouldn't recommend doing it that way. Read as you heal.
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  • Niki
    January 1, 1970
    A powerful road map. My therapist recommended this book to me after the death of my parents left me feeling like an adult orphan adrift and alone in the world. It’s written with the intention to encapsulate all levels of loss – from death to divorce. Quick, digestible bullet points describe all the tumultuous steps and half-steps of grief and recovery. Most of the things I had expected to see there – sleep issues, lack of energy, blah blah blah - but there were certainly some “side-effects” or s A powerful road map. My therapist recommended this book to me after the death of my parents left me feeling like an adult orphan adrift and alone in the world. It’s written with the intention to encapsulate all levels of loss – from death to divorce. Quick, digestible bullet points describe all the tumultuous steps and half-steps of grief and recovery. Most of the things I had expected to see there – sleep issues, lack of energy, blah blah blah - but there were certainly some “side-effects” or steps I hadn’t attributed to my grief. Suffering of creativity? Ugh, check. The material did a good job of recognizing and humanizing the suffering without devaluing it. The downside is each level of is paired with some truly awful “high school breakup” poetry that doesn’t properly capture the tone of the material when confronting a hard loss like death. I can appreciate trying to appeal to all levels of loss, but perhaps “special editions” tailored more to the specific would be better served.
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  • Scotti
    January 1, 1970
    This book was also given me shortly after a family death. The friend who brought it to me drove it across town to me fairly late the night he heard about our tragedy. He said it couldn't wait - I needed it immediately. He was right. This, and George Anderson's book, have "saved my life" as they have helped me through the most horrific event a parent can go through. The thing that ministered to me the most from this book was the author's ability to understand not just the HUGH thing that happened This book was also given me shortly after a family death. The friend who brought it to me drove it across town to me fairly late the night he heard about our tragedy. He said it couldn't wait - I needed it immediately. He was right. This, and George Anderson's book, have "saved my life" as they have helped me through the most horrific event a parent can go through. The thing that ministered to me the most from this book was the author's ability to understand not just the HUGH thing that happened; but how you feel about the little things. Like going to pick up the phone to call, going to their favorite restaurant, hearing that song, etc. It addressed some of the little disappointments that I hadn't even recognized as grief.This is also a book I buy in bulk and pass on as Mike did to me when I run into someone unfortunate enough to need it.
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  • lynn❤️lynn
    January 1, 1970
    This book was recommended to me by a very special person.It's a practical read, that at times I found very hard to read, because I found what it said so true. It really hits the mark, and just allows you to think in other ways, it gives you the right to wollow in self pity, but see why this is actually good thing. There's no don't do this in this book. Even suicide is not a taboo subject, just another view,. The book causes you to reflect, ask questions of yourself, others, self reflection.I've This book was recommended to me by a very special person.It's a practical read, that at times I found very hard to read, because I found what it said so true. It really hits the mark, and just allows you to think in other ways, it gives you the right to wollow in self pity, but see why this is actually good thing. There's no don't do this in this book. Even suicide is not a taboo subject, just another view,. The book causes you to reflect, ask questions of yourself, others, self reflection.I've found it useful, and will read again in times of trouble, just to give me an alternative view. For me, I didn't like the poems, I couldn't understand the reasons for these, but then I'm not a poem person ;-)
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  • Shell
    January 1, 1970
    This book was recommended to me multiple times by my therapist. I resisted, thinking it sounded too self-help-y and depressing. The authors mix the psychology of the grieving process with short poems and quotations. The result was surprisingly helpful and validating.
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  • MsheArt2
    January 1, 1970
    I loved this book, it was the best book I read that year,a goddess sent, a recommendation for any one that's going througha loss of a love, be that love a human or the loss of a goal, attainment.
  • Passenger B.
    January 1, 1970
    What the [email protected]# did I just read?! This book was advertized as a "self help" book containing significant psychological insights and methods to overcome the loss of a love, either due to a breakup, death or other circumstances.But what it contains is nothing but dramatic, melodramatic poems that I found utterly depressing, confusing and felt very uncomfortable about reading as it gave me the impression I was reading someone else's diary. Add odd, seemingly torn out of context allegories and very per What the [email protected]# did I just read?! This book was advertized as a "self help" book containing significant psychological insights and methods to overcome the loss of a love, either due to a breakup, death or other circumstances.But what it contains is nothing but dramatic, melodramatic poems that I found utterly depressing, confusing and felt very uncomfortable about reading as it gave me the impression I was reading someone else's diary. Add odd, seemingly torn out of context allegories and very personal musings and "tips" for "survival," throw in God ad nauseam (eyeroll) and a few half quacky notions like "You have to go trust the process of having to go through the three stages of recovery," bla blubb, and you have just made money out of virtually diddly squat. Or should I say shit. Funny that the three stages of recovery are basically the five stages of grief half combined and half torn out of context but okay. Listen, I'm a big fan of self help books having at least a somewhat sympathizing or empathizing language to reach the reader at their deepest, most vulnerable and not just mentally or intellectually. But there is hardly anything but lamentations and emo/goth kinda crybaby poetry in here which really, REALLY does not help. This book is the equivalent to those types of self help groups that are not about moving on, support but just about people whining to each other and cultivating their brain pain. I'm sorry but I find this book to be utterly worthless.
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  • Hayley Martin
    January 1, 1970
    My therapist recommended this book to me. I was hesitant to read it at first, but I am so, so glad I did. Recently, I lost someone really important to me. The first two days, I stayed home and did nothing but cry. The rest of the week, I went back to work and did a lot of pacing. Healing has been difficult, and to be honest, I've felt stuck and more sad than I've ever felt. I am not a fan of self help books. I find them preachy, and most of the time, I feel like shit instead of feeling better. T My therapist recommended this book to me. I was hesitant to read it at first, but I am so, so glad I did. Recently, I lost someone really important to me. The first two days, I stayed home and did nothing but cry. The rest of the week, I went back to work and did a lot of pacing. Healing has been difficult, and to be honest, I've felt stuck and more sad than I've ever felt. I am not a fan of self help books. I find them preachy, and most of the time, I feel like shit instead of feeling better. This book gave me hope. I don't feel stuck, and I know I won't feel this way forever. I would HIGHLY recommend this to anybody going through a significant loss in their life, or anyone helping someone through this loss. It provides insight and suggestions to help healing and growth. I will most likely reread this one, as I tore through this in a couple of hours the first time. If anyone is feeling lost, hurt, depressed, or stuck, this is an amazing read. "I am alive. I will survive."
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  • Sara Testarossa
    January 1, 1970
    I found this book very helpful in grieving the death of a loved one. I also can see how it can benefit people who have experienced other types of loss - the applications are wide. It's an easy read, not clinical, and the authors write in a way that connects with the reader (for me anyway) and feels genuine.I liked the bits of poetry interspersed between the sections of more standard writing.Though it's in theory a quick easy read in terms of the text, I found myself slowing down sometimes to fol I found this book very helpful in grieving the death of a loved one. I also can see how it can benefit people who have experienced other types of loss - the applications are wide. It's an easy read, not clinical, and the authors write in a way that connects with the reader (for me anyway) and feels genuine.I liked the bits of poetry interspersed between the sections of more standard writing.Though it's in theory a quick easy read in terms of the text, I found myself slowing down sometimes to follow some of the suggestions, other times to process what I'd just read or to process my grief. I think it would have been overwhelming for me to read in just a few sittings, but YMMV.
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  • Kristina
    January 1, 1970
    Sometimes it is really good to go over stuff you already know when it's told to you in a friendly, non-judgmental manner.
  • Sherry Joiner
    January 1, 1970
    Reading How to Survive the Loss of a Love by Melba Colgrove, was a positive experience for me in accepting and understanding the death of a loved one to suicide and losing a relationship. I was able to visualize myself becoming comfortable with grief and anger, as I healed inside. I found hope. I cussed out my pillow, threw it against the wall, and saw a counselor the next day. This book is a must read.
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  • Melly
    January 1, 1970
    My Mom read this book after my brother passed away many years ago and it really helped her. She suggested I read it after a bad break-up. Although our situations were very different, this book was comforting to us both. I haven't read it in years, but it's probably about that time to read it again.
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  • Shadow Girl
    January 1, 1970
    I pick this one up every time someone close to me dies, so...needless to say, my copy is pretty worn and well read.Should actually be 59 things to do when there is nothing to be done, since reading this book is one thing I do every time.
  • Sarah
    January 1, 1970
    I came across this book at a timely point in my life. It is basically a survival handbook for dealing with loss (and it covers many types of loss, but specifically the loss of a love). I have and still would recommend it for those in need of such a book.
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  • Cheryl Anderson
    January 1, 1970
    This book helped me so much when my mom transitioned.
  • Jessica
    January 1, 1970
    This book validates grief and the necessary process of grief. It cover grief from a death, divorce, lost job, lost pet, etc.
  • Charlotte Jansdotter
    January 1, 1970
    Ska ge den här i handen till alla som förlorar någon älskad i ett dödsfall, skilsmässa eller annan typ av förlust <3
  • Jean-Paul Eberle
    January 1, 1970
    This book is an elegant heart-centered way for navigating through the loss of significant love relationships.
  • cathy
    January 1, 1970
    What a terrific, uplifting tool to refer to again and again.
  • Rhonda Preston
    January 1, 1970
    My mother gave this book to me after my father died. I read it again after a relationship ended. I will keep it forever.
  • David White
    January 1, 1970
    Found this book by happenstance at a time in my life when I needed every word in it. Lost a friend? A love? A job? Anything or anyone that meant something to you? This book is a must read
  • Steffan Bard
    January 1, 1970
    Rating: 3.5/5Sat down in Barnes and Nobles and finished it in one sitting, probably about an hour and a half.Solid and compassionate guidance for surviving the loss of a love relationship. Like the other reviewers, I, too, found the poetry to often be a bit cheesy or unnecessary, though it added some depth at other times.My main take away’s:-Recovering from any loss takes time.-Being with and welcoming all feelings as they arise is the most effective way to heal.-Don’t push yourself during this Rating: 3.5/5Sat down in Barnes and Nobles and finished it in one sitting, probably about an hour and a half.Solid and compassionate guidance for surviving the loss of a love relationship. Like the other reviewers, I, too, found the poetry to often be a bit cheesy or unnecessary, though it added some depth at other times.My main take away’s:-Recovering from any loss takes time.-Being with and welcoming all feelings as they arise is the most effective way to heal.-Don’t push yourself during this time of recovery.-Balance time alone and time out with others or in activities.-Feeling good, even if soon, does not mean you didn’t love deeply, it may mean that you are healing effectively.-Do what you need to to get by; reaffirm meaningful beliefs that have helped you survive loss before, pamper yourself, meditate.
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  • Anurag Shukla
    January 1, 1970
    Having survived the death of both parents at an early age, I thought I had what it takes to face whatever life throws at me. I could not have been more wrong about it. This book came to me as much needed help and I have never looked back since. When the divorce happened and sometime to this day, I feel the pain of barbed wire pulled out of my heart, one notch at time. Especially, when the culprit mind takes me back to old memories and how they mean nothing anymore. Every such memory has become b Having survived the death of both parents at an early age, I thought I had what it takes to face whatever life throws at me. I could not have been more wrong about it. This book came to me as much needed help and I have never looked back since. When the divorce happened and sometime to this day, I feel the pain of barbed wire pulled out of my heart, one notch at time. Especially, when the culprit mind takes me back to old memories and how they mean nothing anymore. Every such memory has become barbed wire in my heart. The words in this book allowed me to tolerate and appreciate the pain. It may never go away, the pain of barbed wires, but I know when I need it, to nurture the bruised and broken heart, this book will be there, one shelf away in my room, tucked among others.
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  • Ana
    January 1, 1970
    Throughout the book, I was realizing I already knew most of the things it stated, but nevertheless, I find that from time to time it is good to remind yourself of the basics and get reassured that you're on a good path. That being said, I feel this read will help me start practicing the self-healing more regularly. The part that really made me think was the 50th chapter: "Remaining Distraught Is No Proof of Love" and it initiated a different kind of emotions in me. Overall, a good, simple read.
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  • Sebastian Vogel
    January 1, 1970
    Los 3 autores, a través de capítulos cortos y pequeños poemas, nos intentarán explicar la pérdida de un amor y llevar a través de las etapas de supervivencia, recuperación y crecimiento.Si tuviste o pasaste por una pérdida amorosa, ya sea por muerte, separación o cualquier otra causa, este es el libro perfecto para entender los porqués, las etapas y cada cosa que es normal y es bueno hacer o no. Más que cualquier libro, es la guía perfecta para sentirse mejor y entender que somos humanos y es no Los 3 autores, a través de capítulos cortos y pequeños poemas, nos intentarán explicar la pérdida de un amor y llevar a través de las etapas de supervivencia, recuperación y crecimiento.Si tuviste o pasaste por una pérdida amorosa, ya sea por muerte, separación o cualquier otra causa, este es el libro perfecto para entender los porqués, las etapas y cada cosa que es normal y es bueno hacer o no. Más que cualquier libro, es la guía perfecta para sentirse mejor y entender que somos humanos y es normal pasar por una etapa de recuperación. La vida no se ha acabado.
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  • Matthew
    January 1, 1970
    This book came to me at the right time.Admittedly, the poetry isn't anything stunning, but paired with the advice, it just works. There's some part of me that has resentment to these authors for killing so many trees (there's so much white space) but it works. It helps. I know people in my life who probably need this more than I do. Which is saying a lot. This isn't the kind of book you want, it's the kind you need.
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  • Haru Nguyen
    January 1, 1970
    I would say that this is a cute and wonderful book. I like the poems and the guidelines given by the book. I believe this book can help a lot of people who are suffering and having pains in their soul. Time will heal all the pains if you know the right way to treat it. Losses are the evitable and important fragment in life, the thing we can do is to prepare and accept it as a part of our lives and move on.
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  • Terry
    January 1, 1970
    Published in the late '70s, this classic self-help book is admittedly dated. This can be overlooked. The content is genuinely useful for those who are living through a crushing loss. You won't find a list of instructions or advice or greeting card platitudes; what you will find are sensitively worded reminders that grieving is a process, part of the human experience, and survivable.
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