Loveability
“Love is your destiny. It is the purpose of your life.  It is the key to your happiness and to the evolution of the world.”     Loveability is a meditation on love. It addresses the most important thing you will  ever learn. All the happiness, health, and abundance you experience in life comes from your ability to love and be loved. This ability is innate, not acquired.     Robert Holden is the creator of a unique program on love called Loveability, which he teaches worldwide. He has helped thousands of people to transform their experience of love. “Love is the real work of your life,” says Robert. “As you release the blocks to love you flourish even more in your relationships, work, and life.”     In Loveability, Robert weaves a beautiful mix of timeless principles and helpful practices about the nature of true love. With great intimacy and warmth, he shares stories, conversations, meditations, and poetry that have inspired him in his personal inquiry on love. Key themes include:Your destiny is not just to find love; it is to be the most loving person you can be. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ Self-love is how you are meant to feel about yourself. It is the key to loving others. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ When you think something is missing in a relationship, it is probably you. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ Forgiveness helps you to see that love has never hurt you; it is only your misperceptions of love that hurt. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ The greatest influence you can have in any situation is to be the presence of love.

Loveability Details

TitleLoveability
Author
LanguageEnglish
ReleaseMar 1st, 2013
PublisherHay House
ISBN-139781401941628
Rating
GenreSelf Help, Nonfiction, Love, Psychology, Relationships, Spirituality, Personal Development

Loveability Review

  • Cloris Kylie
    January 1, 1970
    "All you need is love.” “Love is the answer.” We all know this.We have a holiday to celebrate love with red hearts and chocolate.We write songs and poems about love.We want to find love.But do we ever really talk about it?Robert Holden addresses the topic of love in Loveability,Knowing How to Love and Be Loved. This is not a book about finding a romantic partner or about fixing your romantic relationship. This book is about the most powerful healing force in the universe, which we neglect to dis "All you need is love.” “Love is the answer.” We all know this.We have a holiday to celebrate love with red hearts and chocolate.We write songs and poems about love.We want to find love.But do we ever really talk about it?Robert Holden addresses the topic of love in Loveability,Knowing How to Love and Be Loved. This is not a book about finding a romantic partner or about fixing your romantic relationship. This book is about the most powerful healing force in the universe, which we neglect to discuss or incorporate in academia.You might be asking, “How could we have a class about love? Such a thing doesn’t make sense.” My reply to you is another question: Is love less important than learning how to solve quadratic equations? “There were no lectures on love when I studied psychology,” Holden says. “No one addressed love directly, not even Carl Jung, who wrote about everything. It was as if we had forgotten that love existed, or maybe we were avoiding it.”Many people are afraid of love, and grew up in homes in which the words “I love you” were never spoken.The road to understanding love is the same road to self-actualization, because by definition, God is love and love is God. So, as you grow spiritually, you will become in closer contact to the true meaning of love.Holden structured Loveability in five main sections:In part one, Holden explains how love is our destiny because we are all connected to one Source. Love is our shared purpose as human beings.In part two, Holden tells us that love is who we are, and that only by loving ourselves, we can extend love to others. Holden’s view perfectly matches Dr.Wayne Dyer’s analogy of squeezing an orange and getting orange juice because that’s all there is inside. If there is love inside of you, no matter who squeezes you, love will be what comes out. Anita Moorjani, who released her own book after her near-death experience, also brings the message of self-love and self-acceptance to be truly happy.In part three, we learn about unconditional love. Holden writes, “The basic truth is that you are loved and wholly loveable. This basic truth is the memory of your wholeness. It is the awareness of your Unconditioned Self. It is the Original Blessing. It is your eternal loveliness.” This section of the book was especially interesting to me, because it clearly defines the difference between human love and divine love. Love is not an act, or a bargain, or idolatry. Love is not something you feel for a few selected people. Love is not lust or infatuation. Love is spiritual desire. I believe such a high percentage of marriages fail because couples don’t understand the true meaning of love. When the lust and infatuation fade, people “fall out of love.” Truth is, they might’ve never loved in the first place.In part four, we explore the polarities of love and fear, and how fear simply cannot exist where there is love. Using “The Mirror Principle,” Holden explains how what we bring into a relationship (whether romantic or not) is what we experience, and how when we think something is missing in a relationship, it’s probably us.Finally, in part five, titled: “Love is the Answer,” Holden calls for healing and forgiveness so we can allow love back into our lives. Have you thought about the fact that when you remain attached to past hurts you are not able to love yourself? This happens because resentments, which are a form of fear, are obstacles to love. If you are wasting your present moments being angry and sad, you are hurting yourself.I truly enjoyed reading this book, and recommend it to all of you who need a catalyst to release the knowledge that is already within your souls.For more info, please visit my blog: selfactualizedlife.blogspot
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  • Summer Szell
    January 1, 1970
    This book should be read by every person on this planet. Do not let the title fool you. It is not a book about romantic relationships. It is a book about your ability to love all people and all things. As Robert Holden says, "To love somebody is a commitment that says, ' I will not forget who you are,' and ' I will not abandon you' and ' Together we will remember what is real.' " It is a reminder that our true purpose here is to be love and be loved <3
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  • Barbara J.
    January 1, 1970
    I found this to be an incredibly inspiring book with lots of quotable lines. It's the kind of book that you want to own and revisit.
  • Tim Larison
    January 1, 1970
    “Of all the things there are to learn – philosophy and mathematics, poetry and law, all the arts and all the sciences – what could be more important than that we learn how to love?” writes Marianne Williamson in the Forward of Robert Holden’s new book, “Loveability: Knowing How to Love and Be Loved.” Holden’s book is indeed a great read for those who want to take a fresh look at how love is operating in their lives.Robert Holden did not come out of the womb as a love guru. I liked how Holden ope “Of all the things there are to learn – philosophy and mathematics, poetry and law, all the arts and all the sciences – what could be more important than that we learn how to love?” writes Marianne Williamson in the Forward of Robert Holden’s new book, “Loveability: Knowing How to Love and Be Loved.” Holden’s book is indeed a great read for those who want to take a fresh look at how love is operating in their lives.Robert Holden did not come out of the womb as a love guru. I liked how Holden opens up in “Loveability” with his own struggles in learning how to love. In one chapter Holden reveals how uncomfortable he was with Louise Hay’s Mirror Exercise, where you look into your eyes in a mirror and say to yourself “I love you”. Holden remembers saying “I can’t do this” when recalling his first experience with the mirror exercise at age 27. “When I said the words ‘I love myself’ it sounded fake.” His retelling of this experience had special meaning for me, as I was uncomfortable, too, when I first tried mirror work. In being vulnerable with his own love issues and how he worked through them, Holden’s lessons are easy for the reader to relate to. He is one of us.Holden emphasizes again and again in Loveability that self love is the key to a fulfilling life. Are you still dealing with painful rejections of the past? “Every relationship in your life is a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself,” Holden writes. “When you make someone your source of love, they will also be a source of pain.” His words will cause me to pause the next time I feel slighted at the words or actions of another. Is it the other person doing that to me, or am I just being reminding of parts of myself I don’t accept and love? It’s not about them, it’s about me. “The quality of your relationship with yourself determines the quality of your relationship with everything else,” Holden says.At times I felt Holden was repeating himself a bit much, stating his self love message in different forms throughout the book. Yet after reading Loveability I understood the value of his words: “Love is not just a technique you learn, a skill you acquire, or a secret you find on the last page of a book. It is a natural ability that flows effortlessly through you when you let it.”This is the second book I have read from Holden. I also liked “Shift Happens” which I reviewed back in 2011. If you are new to Holden’s work, I recommend reading Loveability first to get a sound foundation in his self love message, and then read Shift Happens for short, daily inspirational thoughts.The byproduct of self love according to Holden? Your relationships improve, too. “When you stop judging yourself, the habit of gratuitously judging others will also stop,” he writes. “The more you love yourself, the more people feel loved by you. It’s how reality works.”I found myself thinking of Holden’s words on love often in the past week as different challenges came up in my life. I’m guessing the book will have the same effect on you – I recommend reading Loveability.I received a complementary copy of this book from Hay House for review purposes. The opinions are completely my own based on my experience.
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  • Guilherme Yoshioka
    January 1, 1970
    If looking for some insights on the art of loving, this one may be a good start for paving all the way.
  • Felicia
    January 1, 1970
    Awesome! One of the best book on love I have read! Thank you Robert!!!
  • Anjana Nathwani
    January 1, 1970
    It all begins with Self Love
  • Michelle
    January 1, 1970
    A book that speaks of how to become loveable that was what I thought I'd find within the pages of this book, it was not though... it was instead a rather long and unending sales pitch!The other reviews for this book seem all positive and I don't know why I felt as if I was constantly being given the merest whiff of an insight into cultivating loveablity before being told that unless I went on the Loveability course I could not hope to succeed finding it.Of particular struggle was the believabili A book that speaks of how to become loveable that was what I thought I'd find within the pages of this book, it was not though... it was instead a rather long and unending sales pitch!The other reviews for this book seem all positive and I don't know why I felt as if I was constantly being given the merest whiff of an insight into cultivating loveablity before being told that unless I went on the Loveability course I could not hope to succeed finding it.Of particular struggle was the believability of the absolute perfect statements that Robert Holden four year old self and his own pre-school children's uttered. There was a lack of realness about the whole book that left me thinking that Robert Holden wrote it whilst in an ivory tower looking down and shaking his head upon the rest of the world.This scornful book review is not something I thought I'd be writing about Loveablity, I can only say but this is how I honesty felt as I read from cover to cover this disappointing book. The weird thing about this review is that I have quite a few of Robert's other books on my bookshelves & I have to say I'm loathed to lend them out to others as I like them that much, hence why I find myself so conflicted by this book!
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  • Katie
    January 1, 1970
    I listened to the audio version on Audible which I totally recommend. I love Robert Holden. Its great to hear him read his own words. This book is part physiology, sociology, self help, autobiography, and spirituality. I wished I would have had this book in 15 years ago. Self-Love is not a topic that we generally discuss. It was eye opening for me to learn what love is and how important it is to love yourself. Thank you Robert for these words.
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  • Dee O'Sullivan
    January 1, 1970
    Enjoyed this book. Feel good factor for sure
  • Emma Chappell
    January 1, 1970
    Changed my life and my outlook
  • James C
    January 1, 1970
    This was one of the books for a writing class that Ing is taking. As I helped her with the class, I decided it was worth a few minutes to write a somewhat scathing review before returning the Kindle book. The author opens with a sweeping vision: “One day, our children will learn about love at school…One day, every society on our planet will honor and celebrate the importance of love…Leaders who demonstrate love-based values, like service and compassion…Economists will teach the world that money This was one of the books for a writing class that Ing is taking. As I helped her with the class, I decided it was worth a few minutes to write a somewhat scathing review before returning the Kindle book. The author opens with a sweeping vision: “One day, our children will learn about love at school…One day, every society on our planet will honor and celebrate the importance of love…Leaders who demonstrate love-based values, like service and compassion…Economists will teach the world that money does not work without love. They will offer us love-based economic policies that eradicate poverty and hunger and help us to experience real abundance and freedom.”But what does Holden mean when he uses this term “love”? Is he referring to sex? Or sensual love more broadly? Familial love? The love between friends? The love of God for a creature? In chapter 1, Holden offers his own non definition: “To know love, you must first accept that love cannot be defined. No amount of words can define love, because love is not just a name.”So if THE key term cannot (or will not) be defined, what is this book even about? In the end, this book is little more than empty platitudes, food without nutritional value like white bread. The author encourages the reader to recognize that “your eternal loveliness has no end” and to overcome the “learned self”…presumably by learning the ideas that he teaches. What Holden is presenting seems to be a mishmash of eastern ideas, sprinkled with statements that appear to reference the God of the Judeo-Christian tradition. He takes the nicest-sounding phrases from these theologically opposed traditions, but lacks any of the truly challenging (but meaningful and practical) practical enjoinders that virtually any real, serious religion demands. In the end, Holden seems to simply be suggesting that we feel more emotionally positive and be kinder. But there isn’t any practical, philosophical or theological meat to his ideas; reading this is like eating cotton candy…it looks nice and tastes good, but leaves you empty and malnourished. This flavor of philosophy demands little of the reader, but also offers little of substance. For those truly interested in the spiritual journey, in learning what love really is (and isn’t), and how it is reconciled with the practical realities of life and our tendency toward being selfish jerks, try almost anything by C.S. Lewis, but dozen or so pages of chapter 3 of The Problem of Pain has more wisdom on these matters than the 234 pages of Holden’s empty book.
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  • JY Tan
    January 1, 1970
    In a nutshell, filled with many questionable ideas with its framework rooted in very skimpy philosophy. It seems like an effort to unite spirituality-theology with science, and ends up being a mix of pseudo-spirituality and pseudoscience. This is a shame as the author seems to be held in high regard as a psychologist. Scathing comments aside, its core idea has been pretty revolutionary. Perhaps there is really nothing to be negative about if it comes to self-love. Its a pretty bad book for psych In a nutshell, filled with many questionable ideas with its framework rooted in very skimpy philosophy. It seems like an effort to unite spirituality-theology with science, and ends up being a mix of pseudo-spirituality and pseudoscience. This is a shame as the author seems to be held in high regard as a psychologist. Scathing comments aside, its core idea has been pretty revolutionary. Perhaps there is really nothing to be negative about if it comes to self-love. Its a pretty bad book for psychology standards with very little practicality but its core idea is so important that I am willing to give it a 4 star.
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  • Karolina
    January 1, 1970
    Intelligent, witty and well written book about accepting others and most importantly accepting one-self.
  • Joan
    January 1, 1970
    This book has the potential to change your life for the better!
  • John Mcmahon
    January 1, 1970
    Excellent
  • Steven
    January 1, 1970
    Once you can get past the salesman like wording and somewhat preachy nature if the text, the actual ideas about how to deal with frustrating people in your life may actually offer something of value.
  • Jerel Wilmore
    January 1, 1970
    Food for thought; an interesting read.
  • Ciel
    January 1, 1970
    This is the best book I’ve ever read. I could have finished it in less than a week, but kept prolonging it so I could savor and really appreciate it.
  • Claire-Elizabeth Ramson
    January 1, 1970
    Lost me a few times with the psychological wishy washy stuff, but also gave me heaps to think about about was really insightful.
  • Julie Armes
    January 1, 1970
    Holden presents love and fear as the two basic choices we have at any moment...whether to live from a place of love an belief in our own loveability, or whether to live from fear and belief that we are not loveable. The whole book goes through his Loveability program, presenting our false beliefs about love, giving exercises to free us from these self-defeating beliefs. He comes from a non-religious background that values the common theme of love present in all major world religions (I think he' Holden presents love and fear as the two basic choices we have at any moment...whether to live from a place of love an belief in our own loveability, or whether to live from fear and belief that we are not loveable. The whole book goes through his Loveability program, presenting our false beliefs about love, giving exercises to free us from these self-defeating beliefs. He comes from a non-religious background that values the common theme of love present in all major world religions (I think he'd speak more about a spiritual path). I really enjoyed the poem because it's so surprising and challenging with which he ended the book:Disappearing into LoveWhen they ask you what is yourreligion, tell them that is islove.And if they ask you what are yourpolitics, tell them that it is also love.If they ask you what that means, you can tell them your philosophy is love.If they want to know anythingelse about you, tell them yourfavourite occupation is loving.And don't foret to tell them that your nationality is love.And that even your bloodgroup is love.Not everyone will stick aroundto hear what you say next,but fear not.Family and friends may get busy so as to pretend to forget what you just said.It's drive them crazy to now to knowthat their blood group is also love,that their nationality is love,and that the real work of their life is love.One day they will give in, and thentheir philosophy will be love,their politics will be love,and their religion will be love.Love gets us all in the end.We all of us disappear back into love eventually.Robert Holden
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  • Ying Ying
    January 1, 1970
    The key message is understanding and practicing self-love. We are all loveable, made to love, meant to be loved. The extent to which we can love ourselves, is the extent to which we can love others.The best passage of the book might be this one:"When you know that your source of love is not outside you, you don't stalk people, put them on pedestals or turn them into idols. You treat people as equals. You don't put on a show. You express yourself without trying to win approval. You don't give lov The key message is understanding and practicing self-love. We are all loveable, made to love, meant to be loved. The extent to which we can love ourselves, is the extent to which we can love others.The best passage of the book might be this one:"When you know that your source of love is not outside you, you don't stalk people, put them on pedestals or turn them into idols. You treat people as equals. You don't put on a show. You express yourself without trying to win approval. You don't give love to get love. You love unconditionally, without attaching any hidden emotional invoices. You make good choices about whom to give your phone number to, whom to date, when to have sex or not, whom to be friends with, and when it's authentic to stay in a relationship or leave. Your capacity to love yourself also influences how much you let yourself be loved by others. When you feel loveable, you don't need to put on a pleasing image to win love. Nor do you slip into a role in order to deserve love. You let love in. You are a good receiver. You aren't threatened by too much love. You are receptive to what is really happening. You recognize when you are being loved or not. You trust in love and in how loveable you are. This makes sense when you remember that we all come from the same love. In a loving relationship, 'my love' and 'your love' and 'his love' and 'her love' are all the same love, shared."
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  • Diane
    January 1, 1970
    Reading this book is like a prayer, a practice of reminding myself to live from love, not fear. I finished it in February, then started reading it again. One chapter at a time every few days. It keeps me connected to love in all the relationships in my life: husband, children, other family, coworkers, friends, strangers.... I highly recommend it. In fact, I think I bought 10 copies already to share with others. Enjoy!
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  • Joya Cousin
    January 1, 1970
    'Loveability' was a bit difficult for me to get into at first. I struggled with the first few chapters, and started reading it four times. Once I got to the middle, the tone which at first seemed overly sentimental, now became transformative. The last few chapters were amazing. I fully recommend this book to anyone who is seeking to live a life led by LOVE.
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  • pri
    January 1, 1970
    I read this on recommendation of the Londoner's blog and I thought it was not that good all told. there is something that lingers with you about knowing your loveability and the feeling that "i am not loveable" can destroy so much. but there was so much other to slog through that has really been covered in A Course in Miracles and others.
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  • Andrea Lewis
    January 1, 1970
    An insightful read on how to love. He writes that we do not need to look for love, we need to be love, this is our true essence--love, anything else is fear. He also provides helpful tools from his loveability workshops as well as thought-provoking questions to get in touch with our fear of love.
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  • Katie Oman
    January 1, 1970
    This is a truly wonderful book that everyone should read. To understand that we are all love- that love isn't something outside of us to get or to own, but is the essence of who we are- is a true joy. This book will shift you and open your heart. An absolute joy from start to finish
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  • Selena Fielden
    January 1, 1970
    I only read this because my therapist recommended it and while it has some really great points and advice I decided that it just was not for me. Reading the word "love" approximately 10,000 times kind of makes you hate that word.
  • Alyssa
    January 1, 1970
    It was a short book but it took me awhile to read it. The message it conveyed was a lot to absorb and I found I could only read a few pages in a sitting. At times the books language could be a bit dry. Overall it was a good book and I already notice a shift in the way that I am thinking.
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  • Daylynn Foster
    January 1, 1970
    Wow! This audiobook is one of the BEST self-help on love I've exposed myself to in the last 15 years! I listened to it, then again & took notes! Definitely a keeper & one to share! He is easy on the ears, too, ladies. :)
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