Daring Greatly
Researcher and thought leader Dr. Brené Brown offers a powerful new vision that encourages us to dare greatly: to embrace vulnerability and imperfection, to live wholeheartedly, and to courageously engage in our lives. “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; . . . who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” —Theodore RooseveltEvery day we experience the uncertainty, risks, and emotional exposure that define what it means to be vulnerable, or to dare greatly. Whether the arena is a new relationship, an important meeting, our creative process, or a difficult family conversation, we must find the courage to walk into vulnerability and engage with our whole hearts.In Daring Greatly, Dr. Brown challenges everything we think we know about vulnerability. Based on twelve years of research, she argues that vulnerability is not weakness, but rather our clearest path to courage, engagement, and meaningful connection. The book that Dr. Brown’s many fans have been waiting for, Daring Greatly will spark a new spirit of truth—and trust—in our organizations, families, schools, and communities.

Daring Greatly Details

TitleDaring Greatly
Author
LanguageEnglish
ReleaseSep 11th, 2012
PublisherAvery
ISBN-139781592407330
Rating
GenreNonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Personal Development, Parenting

Daring Greatly Review

  • Andy
    January 1, 1970
    Teddy Roosevelt is spinning in his grave if he can hear how his famous quote about "daring greatly" has been turned into sappy psychobabble. The main theme of the book is "shame." To the author, this is a fundamentally bad thing, even though she acknowledges that shameless people are sociopaths. She also makes the claim that shame has never been shown to be helpful. Actually, there is research suggesting that shame-based societies have less crime and mental illness than societies that are more i Teddy Roosevelt is spinning in his grave if he can hear how his famous quote about "daring greatly" has been turned into sappy psychobabble. The main theme of the book is "shame." To the author, this is a fundamentally bad thing, even though she acknowledges that shameless people are sociopaths. She also makes the claim that shame has never been shown to be helpful. Actually, there is research suggesting that shame-based societies have less crime and mental illness than societies that are more individualistic. So I think there is potential harm to the way she redefines shame. If people are engaging in truly shameful behaviors, then they should feel ashamed; that's healthy. And society should shame evil people/acts. The author uses "shame" as a garbage term for all bad feelings. So getting picked last for kickball is somehow "shame." This book is advertised as "research" but the underlying science seems goofy; part of her methodology is to ignore the existing scientific literature before doing her study, so that she's amazed--as if she were born yesterday--by well-known facts. The definition of the scientific method is testing hypotheses, but she doesn't do that, so what she does do looks like circular reasoning where the finding is always "shame." It's OK to do qualitative research, but if you insist on the pretense of being completely open-minded blah-blah-blah, then you're "hypothesis generating" so at some point you still need to test a hypothesis to do science, and to know if you are helping people. Dare greatly: state your hypothesis and test it! Much of the book is a running anecdotal monologue about the author. The author seems like a nice lady who means well, and the original message of courage is a good one. The point of self-help books is to help, so if this book resonates with you, then "bully for you" as Teddy might say. I just found it irritating: another TED talk that can't carry a whole book. I hope I don't hurt the author's feelings with this review. The point of reviews is to help potential readers figure out if they will like a book or not. People who care about the points that I discuss above will likely share my impression of the book and can save time by avoiding it and just watching the TED talk. I didn't like this book very much and that's my right. And it's part of the risk the author takes in writing a book that she will get some bad reviews. You can't please everybody. I admire her for daring to write a book. But that doesn't mean she should only get good reviews. If the only outcome possible is victory, then victory is meaningless.-December, 2017 Update: I keep getting negative comments about this review, and that's fine as long as people can disagree agreeably. I understand many people love Brene Brown. Nevertheless, I have become more concerned about this book and I am lowering my rating to 1* from 2*. Part of the tipping point is the increasing evidence indicating that sheltering children from shame/guilt/failure does more harm than good over the long term: -Link to plain English article by a pediatrician from this week's Science Times about benefits of shame/guilt for kids: https://nyti.ms/2ia0gji-Link to recent NYT Magazine article about surge in teen anxiety: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/11/ma...Of course, a total lack of shame is sociopathy, and I don't think the world needs more of that. I am also concerned that with a blurb stating "Researcher and thought leader Dr. Brené Brown offers a powerful new vision" people think that this is science, and that it represents some kind of proven new discovery that helps people. I would encourage people who want to understand about the scientific method and evidence-based practice in healthcare to check out one of the following: . There are existing solutions for people seeking, for example, to improve their mental health by combatting unrealistic negative self-talk. There are also proven prevention programs for improving socio-emotional coping skills in children. There is no need to reinvent the wheel or the Hindenburg here. Finally, I think that reading a biography of Teddy Roosevelt would clarify how he would feel about celebrating failure, etc.
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  • Cecily
    January 1, 1970
    This book came highly recommended by seemingly the entire internet, and the concept was one I'm VERY familiar with. I'd watched a couple of Brene Brown's TED talks and I was impressed with the topic of her research and with how long and how thoroughly she's been researching. Oh yeah, and I also remembered that I am the most sewn up and invulnerable control freak that I know. It's been something I'm aware of, and I wasn't always this way. But I know it's keeping me from joy and love in a lot of a This book came highly recommended by seemingly the entire internet, and the concept was one I'm VERY familiar with. I'd watched a couple of Brene Brown's TED talks and I was impressed with the topic of her research and with how long and how thoroughly she's been researching. Oh yeah, and I also remembered that I am the most sewn up and invulnerable control freak that I know. It's been something I'm aware of, and I wasn't always this way. But I know it's keeping me from joy and love in a lot of areas in my life, so I'm working on it.This book doesn't fix everything, but boy is it good at calling you out and naming things. The very act of naming bad emotional habits, harmful tactics with people, etc...it takes away their power somewhat. At least that's how I felt. Ms. Brown's book takes a hard look at what vulnerability is, why we're so afraid of it, what keeps us from allowing it (shame) and how it affects men and women differently. She backs up her conclusions with research data, numbers, anecdotes and helpful insights into her own life. I really enjoyed her humor and candor. She takes a look at vulnerability as a professional, as a partner, a friend, and as a parent. All are really valuable view points.The bottom line is, we're hard-wired to be connected to others. We can't experience joy or peace without these connections. However, we can't have these connections without allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. I really can't recommend this book enough to anyone, any gender, and in any life situation. It's valuable and the topics she brings up need to be addressed.
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  • Timm DiStefano
    January 1, 1970
    "For me, and for many of us, our first waking thought of the day is "I didn't get enough sleep." The next one is "I don't have enough time." Whether true or not, that thought of not enough occurs to us automatically before we even think to question or examine it. We spend most of the hours and the days of our lives hearing, explaining, complaining, or worrying about what we don't have enough of... Before we even sit up in bed, before our feet touch the floor, we're already inadequate, already be "For me, and for many of us, our first waking thought of the day is "I didn't get enough sleep." The next one is "I don't have enough time." Whether true or not, that thought of not enough occurs to us automatically before we even think to question or examine it. We spend most of the hours and the days of our lives hearing, explaining, complaining, or worrying about what we don't have enough of... Before we even sit up in bed, before our feet touch the floor, we're already inadequate, already behind, already losing, already lacking something. And by the time we go to bed at night, our minds are racing with a litany of what we didn't get, or didn't get done, that day. We go to sleep burdened by those thoughts and wake up to that reverie of lack... This internal condition of scarcity, this mind-set of scarcity, lives at the very heart of our jealousies, our greed, our prejudice, and our arguments with life..."
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  • Jane
    January 1, 1970
    I usually don't bother writing reviews for books I can't finish. And usually I give the book a fair chance -- say, at least 100 pages -- before giving up. Some books I even read all the way to the end before wishing I could just get my time back.In this case, I read an interview with the author in O Magazine, and the interview was so interesting that I immediately requested this book from the library. Well, once the book arrived, I quickly discovered that I had trouble following even the introdu I usually don't bother writing reviews for books I can't finish. And usually I give the book a fair chance -- say, at least 100 pages -- before giving up. Some books I even read all the way to the end before wishing I could just get my time back.In this case, I read an interview with the author in O Magazine, and the interview was so interesting that I immediately requested this book from the library. Well, once the book arrived, I quickly discovered that I had trouble following even the introduction, and I thought maybe I was just distracted. So I flipped to the center and chose a random chapter...nope, still not really getting into this. Okay, let's try this in order and begin with Chapter 1... I GIVE UP.You know what's wrong with this book? It is disorganized. I can't follow the author's thoughts and logic. And worst of all, whoever designed this book was totally carried away by his/her power and went completely crazy with the font formatting. Seriously, I can't even look at this book without wincing: bold text, italic text, large text, large text with huge spaces in between the letters, medium-sized text... Read the interview in O Magazine. Don't read this book. Your eyes will thank you.
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  • Alice Gold
    January 1, 1970
    Do you want to change the world?Do you want to have more powerful interpersonal relationships?Do you want to explore into your own soul to make sense of your life?Do you want to live whole-hearted?Do you want to rid yourself from shame?Do you want to understand men and women better?Do you want to give your heart a hug?I thought I would do something different this time and give you a list of questions for this book review. This book is so jam-packed with the "hard stuff" that I don't even want to Do you want to change the world?Do you want to have more powerful interpersonal relationships?Do you want to explore into your own soul to make sense of your life?Do you want to live whole-hearted?Do you want to rid yourself from shame?Do you want to understand men and women better?Do you want to give your heart a hug?I thought I would do something different this time and give you a list of questions for this book review. This book is so jam-packed with the "hard stuff" that I don't even want to dare pretend that I get it all. I will be reading it repeatedly until I have absorbed and memorized every nugget of wisdom. I wish every other person on the planet would do the same. It would seriously bring world peace and most certainly would give everyone inner peace. I'm not kidding, It's that powerful.I was proud to be a part of this book campaign. I was thrilled. I mean I jumped up and down when I got the e-mail confirmation and cooked a fancy dinner for my family when it arrived in the mail. I have been pouring over its pages and sharing parts with my hubby every chance I get. I have compromised my facebook relationships with the overabundance of quotes from this book. I just can't stop. It's too totally amazing not to share. YOU HAVE TO READ THIS BOOK. If you don't want to buy your own copy, borrow mine. I can't share it though for at least another month until I have it memorized.I had a powerful experience at work last night, using the principles learned in this book. I was substitute teaching a class at the therapeutic boarding school where I work. I gave the kids a reward for every half an hour of hard work. We listened to a song of their choice (with my approval). One boy chose a powerfully emotional song about a girl who wanted to be with her dying boyfriend forever. I loved it. Another boy in the class didn't. He started to shame the song choice kid. I stopped him and talked with the whole class about "shaming" and talked with them about giving people space to be who they are, even if they are wrong or different. I then turned to the shamer, and told him how much I loved him and admired him and that I would hope other people would give him space to love what he loved. He got teary-eyed. He turned to the other kid and said, "Dude, I am so sorry, I don't like that song, but it's cool if you do."World peace, people. World peace.A huge thanks to marriage counselor friend John Morgan who turned me on to Brene Brown just months ago. He shared with me her talks from Ted. I was hooked. Brene is a researcher and has a PHD and LMSW. Her life's work is shame and vulnerability. Here are her videos. Watch them both. Come back if you have to. They will make you understand why you need to read this book. Even if you aren't into that psychological mumbo-jumbo, you need to be.
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  • Brenda - Traveling Sister
    January 1, 1970
    Daring Greatly was not what I expected it to be instead it gave me a very different outlook to vulnerability and a new understanding of what it means to engage with our vulnerability, understand how shame and shaming others affects us, how to combat shame, and being vulnerable for the sake of making real connections with people. Not only has it helped me understand my vulnerability but understand other people’s vulnerability and understand scarcity and how wholeheartedness can affect us. I highl Daring Greatly was not what I expected it to be instead it gave me a very different outlook to vulnerability and a new understanding of what it means to engage with our vulnerability, understand how shame and shaming others affects us, how to combat shame, and being vulnerable for the sake of making real connections with people. Not only has it helped me understand my vulnerability but understand other people’s vulnerability and understand scarcity and how wholeheartedness can affect us. I highly recommend Daring Greatly to truly understand what vulnerability really is and understand the opportunities being vulnerable can create for us.
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  • Kelly
    January 1, 1970
    The premise of this book rocked, and I was very interested in learning more about how to be more vulnerable and dare to do more things. However, the book was written completely in generalities. I need to hear the details of your research, the way you helped clients overcome their problems with vulnerability, facts, and stories. I need concrete advice and concrete science. Couldn't finish this fluffy-ass book.
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  • Gwen
    January 1, 1970
    I really, really, really wanted to like this book. It came so highly recommended, and it started off so well. The first chapter was spectacular--I found myself nodding along to just about everything: feeling vulnerable, a culture of scarcity, the new economy, etc. This book was speaking to me. My fears, my anxieties, my worries. And I hoped Brown would be the person to help guide me through it all.But no.The book promptly went downhill--and fast. Instead of direction and guidance, we get narrati I really, really, really wanted to like this book. It came so highly recommended, and it started off so well. The first chapter was spectacular--I found myself nodding along to just about everything: feeling vulnerable, a culture of scarcity, the new economy, etc. This book was speaking to me. My fears, my anxieties, my worries. And I hoped Brown would be the person to help guide me through it all.But no.The book promptly went downhill--and fast. Instead of direction and guidance, we get narrative upon narrative, mindless platitudes, and silly "case studies" (it's not Brown's fault, but the inclusion of Lululemon as a model of great corporate culture is rather hilarious these days).Brown mentions nothing about the cultural structures at play that make being vulnerable virtually impossible and leaves so many questions unanswered. Why do the underlying issues exist? How do we address the cultural issues surrounding doubt, especially in terms of parenthood? How can we change the cultural narrative? How do we opt out of the "rat race" and still function? How do we convince ourselves that we are, in fact, loveable, and therefore able to be vulnerable?Overall, a very unsatisfying book (but one that had such promise) that wasn't helped by an audiobook narrator who perhaps was *too* successful at being vulnerable. She sounds incredibly insecure, not confident, and definitely not like someone who is "daring greatly". So many of the sentences could have been more powerful if they were spoken with determination and without annoying upspeak.
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  • Robyn
    January 1, 1970
    This book was recommended on a blog that I follow by a person whose thinking somewhat mirrors mine. She recommended it in a big way, so I was anxious to read it. And I'm feeling odd about not giving it a higher rating, because I think it probably deserves one. I'm giving it three stars not because I have issues with the content (exactly) or with the writing, but because the subject matter is old hat to me.Ms. Brown is fairly well known as a speaker and writer on the subject of 'shame' and how it This book was recommended on a blog that I follow by a person whose thinking somewhat mirrors mine. She recommended it in a big way, so I was anxious to read it. And I'm feeling odd about not giving it a higher rating, because I think it probably deserves one. I'm giving it three stars not because I have issues with the content (exactly) or with the writing, but because the subject matter is old hat to me.Ms. Brown is fairly well known as a speaker and writer on the subject of 'shame' and how it debilitates us and keeps us from being the persons we want to be. She is right, of course. The weight that we give to shame is disproportionate to the weight it should have in keeping us to our personal code of ethics and values. She also addresses shame in this book as a chapter explaining why not being good at vulnerability often means that we are good at shame and how learning to be shame resilient is necessary to being able to achieve comfort with being vulnerable.In particular, she focuses on how being willing to be vulnerable and to acknowledge that vulnerability - embrace it - creates opportunities for growth and increased closeness to those we love.In my youth I was very vulnerable (ha!) to shame. Terrified of being judged not good enough, I spent a lot of time trying to make myself invisible. The summer after 10th grade, I spent some time thinking about the enjoyment of life I was not having. It was at that point that I decided that I would work to be me, whoever that was, and if that wasn't okay with the rest of the world, then they could kiss my skinny brown butt. I have spent the majority of my life since then trying to be only who I am in all social situations - 'what you see is what you get', 'keeping it real' and so on.So I found nothing really new or life-changing in Ms Brown's book. But that doesn't mean you won't. It's a good book. And if shame and lack of vulnerability are keeping you from being who you would like to be to your family, your friends, and your Self, then you should read this book. You should definitely read this book.
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  • Sarah
    January 1, 1970
    Daring Greatly is dense with information on how to combat shame and become vulnerable, authentic, and courageous - not just in romantic relationships, but at work and with your children as well. I have always struggled with vulnerability, but Brown makes a very convincing case as to why it is so important - we can't live fully and wholeheartedly without it. I look forward to implementing some of her strategies, and I am sure that I will be revisiting often. Really a must read for anyone who feel Daring Greatly is dense with information on how to combat shame and become vulnerable, authentic, and courageous - not just in romantic relationships, but at work and with your children as well. I have always struggled with vulnerability, but Brown makes a very convincing case as to why it is so important - we can't live fully and wholeheartedly without it. I look forward to implementing some of her strategies, and I am sure that I will be revisiting often. Really a must read for anyone who feels a bit closed off from the world and/or the best parts of themself.
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  • Theresa
    January 1, 1970
    Brene Brown is fabulous, and I’m so happy I finally got to read this book. I started reading one of her other books, one that was more specifically about her research around shame, and it wasn’t what I needed to be reading then. This, though, was what I needed. She still talks a lot about shame and about fear, and it’s in ways that are relevant for me in my day-to-day life and my work. One of my favorite parts is her discussion of how over-sharing is not the same as vulnerability. That’s so impo Brene Brown is fabulous, and I’m so happy I finally got to read this book. I started reading one of her other books, one that was more specifically about her research around shame, and it wasn’t what I needed to be reading then. This, though, was what I needed. She still talks a lot about shame and about fear, and it’s in ways that are relevant for me in my day-to-day life and my work. One of my favorite parts is her discussion of how over-sharing is not the same as vulnerability. That’s so important for me to recognize. I see it in my clients, and I see it in myself, this tendency to over-share, to spew stories, often the traumatic kind. I share these stores well when I share them with trusted people, in a setting that is appropriate. I share these stories less well when I’m at a social gathering and someone asks what I do for a living and then I spew all the awful that happened this past week. Brene says that people need to deserve our trust- we don’t gain a trusting relationship by telling someone we just met all the intimate details of our life right off the bat- that’s not how we form true and real relationships. She acknowledges the paradox too- that we can’t be vulnerable in a healthy way unless we trust someone, and we can’t trust someone unless we can also be vulnerable with them. It’s a tricky place to muddle through, and it’s so important to do it. There’s a difference between using vulnerability to try to gain something, and actually being vulnerable. She also says that when we feel vulnerable, what that often looks like to other people is bravery and courage. When we are risking sharing something about ourselves, whether it’s an unpopular opinion, or a life experience, or trying difficult things, we feel naked and open to attack. What others often see though, is someone being brave enough to “dare greatly.” She says that the prevailing internal opinion is that “vulnerability is courage in you and inadequacy in me.” I’ve been trying to keep that in mind too, and move forward with it. One small thing I’ve done recently is to take the work “but” out of much of my everyday vocabulary. I’m trying to recognize that I often have opinions and beliefs that contradict each other, and that’s okay. I don’t want to negate myself as much as I have been. It turns out that in a lot of my sentences, the word “and” can easily replace the word “but,” and it feels so much nicer to say things that sound more like a continuation than a negation. She talks too about how shame hits the brain in the same place that physical pain does, so that when someone talks about how shame hurts, it’s even neurologically true. She talks a lot about shame and how we attach to it and carry it with us, how it impacts both men and women deeply, and what shame looks like in big and small instances. I wish I could keep this book- there are a lot of things I’d like to remember more concretely, about parenting judgment, and having conversations with co-workers to talk about transformation, and about how we attach self-worth to our creative endeavors, and it turns out that I need to Dare Greatly in a small way by bringing this back (a week late) to the library.
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  • Thomas
    January 1, 1970
    I picked up Daring Greatly after watching Brene Brown's amazing TED Talk on the power of vulnerability. I find it fascinating that someone can conduct research centered on human topics such as shame, vulnerability, connection, and happiness. When I first entered college I possessed the notion that research was something done with test tubes and beakers in the back of a laboratory, but Brown's work shows that in-depth research can apply to anyone, inside or outside of academia.The quality of Brow I picked up Daring Greatly after watching Brene Brown's amazing TED Talk on the power of vulnerability. I find it fascinating that someone can conduct research centered on human topics such as shame, vulnerability, connection, and happiness. When I first entered college I possessed the notion that research was something done with test tubes and beakers in the back of a laboratory, but Brown's work shows that in-depth research can apply to anyone, inside or outside of academia.The quality of Brown's insights in Daring Greatly deserves praise. She could have fallen back on trite tips that all self-help books preach. Instead, she examines vulnerability, shame, and wholeheartedness with a fine lens, using intriguing analogies and everyday anecdotes to illustrate her points. She discusses how men and women experience shame differently, how people who change their behaviors handle anxiety better than those who just cope with it, and how shame itself leads to distractions such as sex, alcohol, and addictions to Smartphones.Brown incorporates practical applications of her research, ranging from how to help veterans form connections with others in the community to how modeling shame-based behaviors can result in negative parenting. She even includes scenarios such as when to disclose personal information in order to form connections as opposed to when it's better to keep your life private. Daring Greatly looks at patterns in human behavior that some people might overlook, and it provides ideas on how to change.I would have appreciated a bit more of the "how" in regard to "daring greatly." Brown drives home the point that we should all strive to dare greatly, and she reveals a myriad of obstacles that obstruct us from doing so, but I wanted a few more concrete suggestions to guide us to success. It also would have been nice if Brown included more information about how she conducted her research throughout the book; even though she discusses methodology in the research appendix, knowing how she came to her conclusions when they're initially presented might aid in comprehension.Overall, a great read, and highly recommended to those who enjoyed her TED Talk and desire to gain even more insight into the concepts of vulnerability and shame. Brown has an extensive track record through her research, her books, and her presentations, so I will be sure to check out more of her work.
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  • Liz
    January 1, 1970
    Okay so this author uses Harry Potter, fellow TED favorite Ken Robinson, Top Gun, Teddy Roosevelt, John Gottman, and even The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin... How could I not like this book with all those references to items I like? Yet, she bases this book around solid research and combines together her own personal stories in the right moments to demonstrate her thesis.Daring greatly... A phrase she has used from Roosevelt.... She writes, "everything I've learned from over a decade of re Okay so this author uses Harry Potter, fellow TED favorite Ken Robinson, Top Gun, Teddy Roosevelt, John Gottman, and even The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin... How could I not like this book with all those references to items I like? Yet, she bases this book around solid research and combines together her own personal stories in the right moments to demonstrate her thesis.Daring greatly... A phrase she has used from Roosevelt.... She writes, "everything I've learned from over a decade of research on vulnerability has taught me this exact lesson. Vulnerability is not knowing victory or defeat, it's understanding the necessity of both, it's engaging. It's being all in." This book is NOT about being weak or permissive. It is daring you to be YOU! It is daring you to be uncomfortable, to define boundaries, to envision something outside of what society/culture makes "cool" "We are hard wired to connect with others, it's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives..." 2/3 of this book applies to every type of person... Male, female, leader, old, young, teacher, parent, etc. That is because the elements that prevent us from what she calls "wholehearted living" are so common and impact our workforce, creativity, connection to others. The very end of the book has chapters specific to leadership & parenthood. If you want to get a sense of her topic, search for one of her talks on TED.com but you will still get far more from the book than just the 18min speech.
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  • Jennifer
    January 1, 1970
    4.5*I read a memoir recently that discussed the importance of connecting with people, being vulnerable, and feeling gratitude. I’ve also read books about how childhood trauma and events shape the way we are, how we act/react, and how we think. The concepts in this book are not new, but some of Brene’s findings from her 12 years of research are, and the way she communications her findings are eye opening and thought changing. I found myself re-reading many of the passages because they were simple 4.5*I read a memoir recently that discussed the importance of connecting with people, being vulnerable, and feeling gratitude. I’ve also read books about how childhood trauma and events shape the way we are, how we act/react, and how we think. The concepts in this book are not new, but some of Brene’s findings from her 12 years of research are, and the way she communications her findings are eye opening and thought changing. I found myself re-reading many of the passages because they were simple, powerful, and truthful.Using examples from her research along with examples from her own life, she explores vulnerability, shame, and scarcity. She looks at the differences and similarities between men and woman when it comes to vulnerability and shame, why we behave the way we do in both our personal and professional lives, the impact of living with shame and guilt, and how to live a more authentic and courageous life. This is a thoroughly researched and well written book. I look forward to reading more of Brené Brown’s work, and I recommend this book to anyone interested in psychology, becoming a better leader, parent, or person.
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  • Christy Cole
    January 1, 1970
    This was a great book - one of the better books of this type that I've read. There were some really great thoughts that will change me. Even with all the analysis and tools, I still struggle with how to actually make vulnerability happen in my own life. Some of my favorite quotes from the book: “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena This was a great book - one of the better books of this type that I've read. There were some really great thoughts that will change me. Even with all the analysis and tools, I still struggle with how to actually make vulnerability happen in my own life. Some of my favorite quotes from the book: “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; . . . who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” —Theodore RooseveltAnd from Brene Brown: The bad news is that it's a chicken-or-the-egg issue: We need to feel trust to be vulnerable and we need to be vulnerable in order to trust.In fact, this betrayal usually happens long before the other ones. I'm talking about the betrayal of disengagement. Of not caring. Of letting the connection go. Of not being willing to devote time and effort to the relationship.When we dare greatly we will err and we will come up short again and again. There will be failures and mistakes and criticism. If we want to be able to move through the difficult disappointments, the hurt feelings, and the heartbreaks that are inevitable in a fully loves life, we cant equate defeat with being unworthy of love, belonging, and joy. If we do, we'll never show up and try again.When we feel shame, we are most likely to protect ourselves by blaming something or someone, rationalizing our lapse, offering a disingenuous apology, or hiding out.Yes I was pissed. Yes, I cried my eyes out. Yes, I wanted to disappear. But I gave myself permission to feel these things for a couple of hours or days, then I reached out, talked through my feelings with people I trust and love, and I moved on. I felt more courageous, more compassionate, more connected.We're so desperate to get out and stay out of shame that we're constantly serving up the people around us as more deserving prey.When I first made the connection between joy and vulnerability reported by participants, I could barely breathe. I had considered my constant disaster planning as my little secret.Once we make the connection between vulnerability and joy, the answer is pretty straightforward: we are trying to beat vulnerability to the punch. We don't want to be blindsided by hurt. We don't want to be caught off guard, so we literally practice being devastated or never move from self-elected disappointment.CC: Part of the answer is focusing on gratitude when we feel joy. Easier said than done.Foreboding joy, perfectionism and numbing have emerged as the three most universal methods of protection.When we stop caring about what people think, we lose our capacity for connection. When we become defined by what people think, we lose our willingness to be vulnerable. If we dismiss all the criticism, we lose out on important feedback, but if we subject ourselves tot he hatefulness, our spirits get crushed. It's a tightrope, shame and resilience is the balance bar, and the safety net below is the one or two people in our lives who can help us reality-check the criticism and cynicism.Maybe this is all bullshit, or it's not worth the vulnerability....If the critic doesn't count, then why does this hurt so much?...There really is no triumph without vulnerability.i
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  • Patricia
    January 1, 1970
    These are my favorite parts of this book:"Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It's going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging." (p. 10)"When it comes to paren These are my favorite parts of this book:"Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It's going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging." (p. 10)"When it comes to parenting, the practice of framing mothers and fathers as good or bad is both rampant and corrosive--it turns parenting into shame minefield. The real questions for parents should be: "Are you engaged? Are you paying attention?" If so, plan to make lots of mistakes and bad decisions. Imperfect parenting moments turn into gifts as our children watch us try to figure out what went wrong and how we can do better next time." (p. 15)"One of my very favorite writers on scarcity is global activist and fund-raiser Lynne Twist. In her book The Soul of Money, she refers to scarcity as "the great lie." She writes:For me, and for many of us, our first waking thought of the day is "I didn't get enough sleep." The next one is "I don't have enough time." Whether true or not, that thought of not enough occurs to us automatically before we even think to question or examine it. We spend most of the hours and the days of our lives hearing, explaining, complaining, or worrying about what we don't have enough of.... Before we even sit up in bed, before our feet touch the floor, we're already inadequate, already behind, already losing, already lacking something. And by the time we go to bed at night, our minds are racing with a litany of what we didn't get, or didn't get done, that day. We go to sleep burdened by those thoughts and wake up to that reverie of lack.... This internal condition of scarcity, this mind-set of scarcity, lives at the very heart of our jealousies, our prejudice, and our arguments with life.... (43-45)" (p. 25-26)"What makes this constant assessing and comparing so self-defeating is that we are often comparing our lives, our marriages, our families, and our communities to unattainable, media-driven visions of perfection, or we're holding up our reality against our own fictional account of how great someone else has it. Nostalgia is also a dangerous form of comparison. Think about how often we compare ourselves and our lives to a memory that nostalgia has so completely edited that it never really existed: "Remember when...? Those were the days..." (p. 26)"One way to think about the three components of scarcity and how they influence culture is to reflect upon the following questions. As you're reading the questions, its' helpful to keep in mind any culture or social system that you're a part of, whether your classroom, your family, your community, or maybe your work team:1. Shame: Is fear of ridicule and belittling used to manage people and/or to keep people in line? Is self-worth tied to achievement, productivity, or compliance? Are blaming and finger-pointing norms? Are put-downs and name-calling rampant? What about favoritism? Is perfectionism an issue?2. Comparison: Healthy competition can be beneficial, but is there constant overt or covert comparing and ranking? Has creativity been suffocated? Are people held to one narrow standard rather than acknowledged for their unique gifts and contributions? Is there an ideal way of being or one form of talent that is used as measurement of everyone else's worth?3. Disengagement: Are people afraid to take risks or try new things? Is it easier to stay quiet than to share stories, experiences, and ideas? Does it feel as if no one is really paying attention or listening? Is everyone struggling to be seen and heard?" (p. 28)"Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage." (p. 37)"Vulnerability is courage in you and inadequacy in me. I'm drawn to your vulnerability but repelled by mine." (p. 42)"Give me the courage to show up and let myself be seen." (p. 42)"In the song "Hallelujah," Leonard Cohen writes, "Love is not a victory march, it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah." Love is a form of vulnerability and if you replace the word love with vulnerability in that line, it's just as true. From calling a friend who's experienced a terrible tragedy to starting your own business, from feeling terrified to experiencing liberation, vulnerability is life's great dare. It's life asking, "Are you all in? Can you value your own vulnerability as much as you value it in others? Answering yes to these questions is not weakness: It's courage beyond measure. It's daring greatly. And often the result of daring greatly isn't a victory march as much as it is a quiet sense of freedom mixed with a little battle fatigue." (p. 43)"When we pretend that we can avoid vulnerability we engage in behaviors that are often inconsistent with who we want to be." (p. 45)"Vulnerability is about sharing our feelings and our experiences with people who have earned the right to hear them. Being vulnerable and open is mutual and an integral part of the trust-building process." (p. 45)"That's not vulnerability. That may be desperation or woundedness or even attention-seeking, but it's not vulnerability. Why? Because sharing appropriately, with boundaries, means sharing with people with whom we've developed relationships that can bear the weight of our story. The result of this mutually respectful vulnerability is increased connection, trust, and engagement." (p. 46)"We need to feel trust to be vulnerable and we need to be vulnerable in order to trust." (p. 47)"Ah, the marble jar. Perfect. I told Ellen to think about her friendships as marble jars. Whenever someone supports you, or is kind to you, or sticks up for you, or honors what you share with them as private, you put marbles in the jar. When people are mean, or disrespectful, or share your secrets, marbles come out. When I asked her if it made sense, she nodded her head with excitement and said, "I've got marble jar friends!"" (p. 48)"Trust is built one marble at a time." (p. 49)"When we think about betrayal in terms of the marble jar metaphor, most of us think of someone we trust doing something so terrible that it forces us to grab the jar and dump out every sing marble. ...[T]here is a particular sort of betrayal that is more insidious and equally corrosive to trust. In fact, this betrayal usually happens long before the other ones. I'm talking about the betrayal of disengagement. Of not caring. Of letting the connection go. Of not being willing to devote time and effort to the relationship.When the people we love or with whom we have a deep connection stop caring, stop paying attention, stop investing, and stop fighting for the relationship, trust begins to slip away and hurt starts seeping in. Disengagement triggers shame and our greatest fears--the fears of being abandoned, unworthy, and unlovable.We may tell a disengaged partner, "You don't seem to care anymore," but without "evidence" of this, the response is "I'm home from work every night by six P.M. I tuck in the kids. I'm taking the boys to Little League. What do you want from me?" Or at work, we think, Why am I not getting feedback? Tell me you love it! Tell me it sucks! Just tell me something so I know you remember that I work here!With children, actions speak louder than words. When we stop requesting invitations into their lives by asking about their day, asking them to tell us about their favorite songs, wondering how their friends are doing, then children feel pain and fear (and not relief, despite how our teenagers may act). Because they can't articulate how they feel about our disengagement when we stop making an effort with them, they show us by acting out, thinking, This will get their attention." (p. 51-52)"[T]he vulnerability journey is not the kind of journey we can make alone. We need support. We need folks who will let us try on new ways of being without judging us. We need a hand to pull us up off the ground when we get kicked down in the arena (and if we live a courageous life, that will happen)." (p.53)"I want our home to be a place where we can be our bravest selves and our most fearful selves. Where we practice difficult conversations and share our shaming moments from school and work. I want to look at Steve and my kids and say, "I'm with you. In the arena. And when we fail, we'll fail together, while daring greatly." We simply can't learn to be more vulnerable and courageous on our own. Sometimes our first and greatest dare is asking for support." (p. 56)"We have to be vulnerable if we want more courage; if we want to dare greatly. But as I told my Harry Potter friend, how can we let ourselves be seen if shame has us terrified of what people might think?Let me give you an example.You've designed a product or written an article or created a piece of art that you want to share with a group of friends. Sharing something that you've created is a vulnerable but essential part of engaged and Wholehearted living. It's the epitome of daring greatly. But because of how you were raised or how you approach the world, you've knowingly or unknowingly attached your self-worth to how your product or art is received. In simple terms, if they love it, you're worthy; if they don't you're worthless.One of two things happens at this point in the process:1. Once you realize that your self-worth is hitched to what you've produced or created, it's unlikely that you'll share it, or if you do, you'll strip away a layer or two of the juiciest creativity and innovation to make the revealing less risky. There's too much on the line to just put your wildest creations out there.2. If you do share it in its most creative form and the reception doesn't meet your expectations, you're crushed. Your offering is no good and you're no good. The chances of soliciting feedback, reengaging, and going back to the drawing board are slim. You shut down. Shame tells you that you shouldn't have even tried. Shame tells you that you're not good enough and you should have known better. If you're wondering what happens if you attach your self-worth to your art or your product and people love it, let me answer that from personal and professional experience. You're in even deeper trouble. Everything shame needs to hijack and control your life is in place. You've handed over your self-worth to what people think. It's panned out a couple of times, but now it feels a lot like Hotel California: You can check in, but you can never leave. You're officially a prisoner of "pleasing, performing, and perfecting."" (p. 64)
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  • Melody Warnick
    January 1, 1970
    I didn’t want to read this because I thought, “Shame and vulnerability aren't really issues for me." HAHAHAHAHAHA.
  • Gail
    January 1, 1970
    I did it again with this book: I pretty much dog-earred every other page! Something I'm working on in 2016 is scaling back with this technique, especially when I have a tendency to abuse it. But dang it all if Brene's insights weren't so great in this (my first read of hers) that I couldn't help myself. I'll share some of my favorites below, but overall a few thoughts:1) Brene's writing grew on me--I've read enough about her to know she feels her strength is as a researcher, less as a writer. In I did it again with this book: I pretty much dog-earred every other page! Something I'm working on in 2016 is scaling back with this technique, especially when I have a tendency to abuse it. But dang it all if Brene's insights weren't so great in this (my first read of hers) that I couldn't help myself. I'll share some of my favorites below, but overall a few thoughts:1) Brene's writing grew on me--I've read enough about her to know she feels her strength is as a researcher, less as a writer. Initially, I felt that a bit ...her writing seemed to get stronger in certain passages, like on applying vulnerability to how we teach and parent (coincidentally, these were my favorite).2) I wish I have skimmed the Appendix before reading the book....for a lot of the time, I kept wondering WHAT research Brene? She refers to her work throughout, but in a 30,000 foot sort of way (or specific comments people have made to her post-lectures, etc.). It wasn't until I get to the very end and the appendix after (which is 20-ish pages long) that I thought, Ahhhhhhh HERE we go! Lines/concepts I loved from Daring Greatly (and I should mention, as many others have, I've already recommended this book to half-dozen people I know!)• I loved Brene's breakdown of what vulnerability IS (as a creative, I constantly feel like I'm there, but just don't always know how to describe it): "Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weaknesses."• "What's worth doing even if I fail?"--I've heard other writers refer to this idea; I think Brene's the one who owned it first.• Saving this just because I really like the way Brene defines empathy (and want to remember it!) "Empathy is connecting with the emotion that someone is experiencing, not the event or circumstance."• LOVED Brene's anaylysis of the three forms of shielding that people employ in their "vulnerability arsenal"...1) foreboding joy (dread that clamps down on momentary joy, ie, My life is so great...but what if my husband dies in a car accident tomorrow?) 2) perfectionism (if only you do everything perfect, you'll never feel shame) and 3) numbing ('nuf said)• One of my favorite passages of the book: "When we stop caring about what people think, we lose our capacity for connection. When we become defined by what people think, we lose our willingness to be vulnerable. If we dismiss all the criticism, we lose out on important feedback, but if we subject ourselves to the hatefulness, our spirits get crushed. It's a tightrope, shame resilience (those affirmations we tell ourselves to counter our 'gremlins') is the balance bar, and the safety net below is the one or two people in our lives who can help to reality-check the criticism and cynicism"• Brene's definition of what a leader is was revolutionary to me--I definitely want to remember this! "I've come to believe that a leader is anyone who holds her or himself accountable for finding potential in people and processes. The term has nothing to do with position, status, or number of direct reports." • A few final thoughts on the parenting chapter, which REALLY resonated with me:— This quote from Joseph Chilton Pearce: "What we are teaches the child more than what we say, so we must be what we want our children to become." —As parents, we help our children develop shame resilience and worthiness by staying very mindful about the prerequisites that we're knowingly or unknowingly handing down to them. Are we sending them overt or covert messages about what makes them more and less lovable? (ie, are we teaching girls to be thin, nice, modest to be worthy? boys to be stoic, put status first, be aggressive?)— We need to separate our children from their behaviors...there is a significant difference between "You are bad" and "You did something bad" (pg 224, on making the distinction between shame and guilt...shame is so painful to children b/c it's linked to their fear of being unlovable) —Hope is a function of struggle. If we want our kids to develop high levels of hopefulness, we have to let them struggle (pg 239) — And lastly, "Who we are and how we engaged with the world are much stronger predictors of how our children will do than what we know about parenting"
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  • Amir Tesla
    January 1, 1970
    آسيبي كه راز نگه داشتن يك اتفاق بد يا شرم آور به سلامت روان وارد مي كنه از خود اون اتفاق به مراتب شديدتر هست. نوشتن اون راز و افكارمون در موردش به ازبين بردن اثرات منفيش بسيار بسيار كمك مي كنه. When we spend our lives waiting until we’re perfect or bulletproof before we walk into the arena, we ultimately sacrifice relationships and opportunities that may not be recoverable, we squander our precious time, and we turn our backs on our gifts, those unique contributions that only we can make.Perfect آسيبي كه راز نگه داشتن يك اتفاق بد يا شرم آور به سلامت روان وارد مي كنه از خود اون اتفاق به مراتب شديدتر هست. نوشتن اون راز و افكارمون در موردش به ازبين بردن اثرات منفيش بسيار بسيار كمك مي كنه. When we spend our lives waiting until we’re perfect or bulletproof before we walk into the arena, we ultimately sacrifice relationships and opportunities that may not be recoverable, we squander our precious time, and we turn our backs on our gifts, those unique contributions that only we can make.Perfect and bulletproof are seductive, but they don’t exist in the human experience. We must walk into the arena, whatever it may be—a new relationship, an important meeting, our creative process, or a difficult family conversation—with courage and the willingness to engage. Rather than sitting on the sidelines and hurling judgment and advice, we must dare to show up and let ourselves be seen. This is vulnerability. This is daring greatly.
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  • Tima
    January 1, 1970
    Every single day we face the decision to be vulnerable or dare greatly. Brown uses the book as a medium to explain how we can take shame and vulnerability and exchange them for meaning and purpose in our lives. There aren't really any step-by-step instructions so much as a thought process that needs to be changed in the way we think and approach circumstances.The book is going to really fly off the shelves for those who have a need for change in their lives or enjoy reading self-help books. It i Every single day we face the decision to be vulnerable or dare greatly. Brown uses the book as a medium to explain how we can take shame and vulnerability and exchange them for meaning and purpose in our lives. There aren't really any step-by-step instructions so much as a thought process that needs to be changed in the way we think and approach circumstances.The book is going to really fly off the shelves for those who have a need for change in their lives or enjoy reading self-help books. It is a dense book full of information, stories and examples. But for someone who is really needing to hear this message it will be an easy and informative read.I received this book free of charge from BlogHer and was compensated for my review.
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  • Krystal
    January 1, 1970
    So I'm pretty pleased to have started my '2018 self development challenge' with an utterly captivating, thought-provoking, soul-searching, five-star read.This book is just so damn relevant . We all experience shame and vulnerability.That seems like such an obvious concept but it took reading this book for me to properly understand that. I'm going to get pretty real here: I struggle a lot with feeling like I'm not worthy, or like I'm not good enough because I can't keep up with peers in certain So I'm pretty pleased to have started my '2018 self development challenge' with an utterly captivating, thought-provoking, soul-searching, five-star read.This book is just so damn relevant . We all experience shame and vulnerability.That seems like such an obvious concept but it took reading this book for me to properly understand that. I'm going to get pretty real here: I struggle a lot with feeling like I'm not worthy, or like I'm not good enough because I can't keep up with peers in certain areas or because I do things differently to most. I see people who seem to have everything going for them: attractive, fit, healthy, great friends, good job ... etc. The notion that these people might experience the same feelings of unworthiness and shame in areas of their own lives just blows my mind. Yet this is something I've read about countless times - 'The grass is greener ...' and all that. I know that no one is living the perfect life of all sunshine and rainbows, but I still feel shame for not measuring up. I practice gratitude often because I know there is so much in my life that I can be thankful for - I have a strong, loving bond with my family, I have a place to live, a job to provide income, a fully functional body, friends, hobbies, knowledge ... and yet I can't help being overtaken by shame when I am in situations that make me compare myself to others. Without exception, comparing myself to those around me makes me feel vulnerable because, more often than not, I inevitably fall short of the mark I'm hoping for.I HATE feeling vulnerable to such an extent that I really do switch off and avoid things and that made the first part of this book confronting, painful and refreshingly liberating to read. There's a fair bit in here about the power of semantics, and how the phrases we choose to use can influence how we see ourselves and others. I love that, and I think it ties in well with other self-development/spiritual books I've read that discuss the power of the subconscious mind. There's so much of the world that we can't control, but we have overwhelming power over our own minds provided we concentrate on exercising it.Daring Greatly is not about doing heroic, extravagant things; it's about having the courage to be true to yourself, and to be unashamed of who you are as a person . It's about not shying away from your vulnerability but embracing it, and using it to develop and grow. We all experience shame and vulnerability. By acknowledging this shared trait, we can take comfort in knowing we are not alone. We can work harder to accept ourselves so that our unconscious words and actions communicate positivity, love and acceptance to those around us. We can appreciate the vulnerability of others because we have a greater understanding of how it drives our own thoughts and actions.This book is written eloquently yet simply, so that the message is communicated without a need to unravel chunks of metaphors and similes first. It uses honest examples - and I'll admit, a few of these really got to me. There is so much about shame and vulnerability that needs to be understood because I hadn't realised until reading this book what a massive impact the two have had on my life.This book will not teach you how to abolish vulnerability from your life. Rather, it will teach you, as the title suggests, how the courage to be vulnerable will allow you to live a more fulfilling, wholehearted lifestyle.Honestly, I can't think of a single person who wouldn't benefit from reading this book. It's utterly compelling and so incredibly wise and honest. Brene Brown infuses the ideas with personal stories, both from her research and from her own life, and it gives her enormous credibility because, as readers, we can plainly see that she is teaching from a place of true understanding and experience. I loved all of it, and I'm not even a parent (nor anywhere close to becoming one) so don't let that part of the title put you off.I not only highly recommend but implore you to read this, so that we can change the world one mind at a time, beginning with ourselves.
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  • Dominic
    January 1, 1970
    I feel like it was beautiful serendipity that I stumbled upon Daring Greatly. After reading an interview with Brené Brown someone had posted on Facebook and then finally watching her TED talks on vulnerability and shame (another colleague had recommended TED.com to me a couple years ago, and I'm just now getting on that beautiful train), I knew I had to get my hands on this book. Three days later I carried the book in my hand. Three days after that I had devoured it. It turns out that these had I feel like it was beautiful serendipity that I stumbled upon Daring Greatly. After reading an interview with Brené Brown someone had posted on Facebook and then finally watching her TED talks on vulnerability and shame (another colleague had recommended TED.com to me a couple years ago, and I'm just now getting on that beautiful train), I knew I had to get my hands on this book. Three days later I carried the book in my hand. Three days after that I had devoured it. It turns out that these had been some of the best spent "working" hours in a really long time. Not since reading the work of Pema Chödrön have I been so inspired to start immediately cleaning up my life. (Cue John Lennon and Yoko Ono: "Clean-up time!") What has already proved incredibly transformative for me is the language that I now have to describe how I get silenced and shamed in the workplace. Working as an English teacher at the school where I teach has been both a love and an incredible burden. But I realize now that I am made of the kind of stuff that yearns to "dare greatly." I expect a lot from myself and my school. I keep expecting us to break new ground--yet we are forever grounded. I used to say that you can't be a Buddhist at UCHS; but now I think it UCHS is the BEST place to work on mindfulness and compassion. It's just REALLY HARD WORK!Brené Brown encourages me to stick to my guns, though--to not give up and to SHOW UP each day and to each meeting, emotions and hard questions and all of it. If I am going to be a part of true innovation, a true educational revolution (which some days--the jaded days--feels like a oxymoron), like I say I do, I'm going to have to honor my willingness to take risks, stay vulnerable and be uncomfortable. It also means I'm going to have to maneuver through a lot of what my wife has now called "shame soup."I'm so grateful for this book, for Brené Brown, and for the opportunity to impact my world, my family, my son, and myself. She doesn't provide all the easy answers, but she gives me the tools to not simply "get through the year" but to make it one of the best damn school years of my life. And then, simply one great life.
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  • Stephanie
    January 1, 1970
    Wow, what a book! The title comes from an amazing quote by Theodore Roosevelt encouraging us all to give things our best shot("...the credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena..who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again...who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly...") The basic thesis is that in order to live our best lives, we need to be vulnerable: to go all out in Wow, what a book! The title comes from an amazing quote by Theodore Roosevelt encouraging us all to give things our best shot("...the credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena..who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again...who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly...") The basic thesis is that in order to live our best lives, we need to be vulnerable: to go all out in living and loving, holding nothing back. With this comes great reward, but also great potential for feeling shame, heartbreak, criticism and disappointment. This is why most people view vulnerability as a weakness rather than a strength. Our culture greatly values people who project strength, even if it's a false sense of strength.In order to embrace vulnerability, we need to develop "shame resilience" strategies and supports. The author provides so many great insights into our current (damaged) culture, including the idea of a scarcity mentality(constantly comparing what we have and don't have vs. what everyone else has) and judging others as a deflection of feeling inadequate. The book is packed with practical tips for using vulnerability to become a more effective parent, leader, employee, human. Although chock full of research, the book is incredibly readable and the author very relatable and empowering. The words transformative, radical, counter-cultural, mind-blowing, and perspective-altering come most readily to my mind. I know I'll be mulling this book over for days to come, and hopefully applying some lessons to my own life. I can't wait to check out her other books.
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  • Chrissy
    January 1, 1970
    I was almost resolved not to read this because I first learned about it from an Oprah magazine interview. The fact that the author is a shame and vulnerability researcher weren't selling points because it sounded like it would be a self help book that would provoke so many uncomfortable feelings inside. Want to feel vulnerable? Want to feel shame? Not really, not today.But once I chose to read it, I saw that the author was pointing to a broader definition of vulnerability, one that encompasses b I was almost resolved not to read this because I first learned about it from an Oprah magazine interview. The fact that the author is a shame and vulnerability researcher weren't selling points because it sounded like it would be a self help book that would provoke so many uncomfortable feelings inside. Want to feel vulnerable? Want to feel shame? Not really, not today.But once I chose to read it, I saw that the author was pointing to a broader definition of vulnerability, one that encompasses being in touch with your needs and feelings and the desire to communicate that to others. It means being willing and brave to connect with others and present your truth without giving in to a fear of rejection. It also means being available to to hear others' truth.I was relieved to learn that sharing everything without a filter like a reality TV show is not it and that's actually a way to avoid being vulnerable. Yes, we don't have to tell everyone everything. Beware the overshare and TMI.I also appreciated the differentiation between guilt, shame and humiliation. In a nutshell: guilt is "I shouldn't have done that," shame is "I am no good because of what I did," and humiliation is "I didn't deserve that consequence for what I did."Besides clarifying the definitions of these words, this book brought up a great point about how men feel shame according to the research findings. I didn't realize the social pressure that men face and the overwhelming feelings of shame that can occur with failure or rejection.
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  • Charity
    January 1, 1970
    I'm torn about the value of this book. I have been a Brene Brown fan for quite some time as an online course I teach for another university requires students to watch her TED talk on vulnerability. It has moved me on several levels. My favorite quote is that vulnerability is the birthplace of joy. This book dives deeper into the issues behind vulnerability, namely shame and guilt. Hence, the book is actually quite difficult to read. It's a bit dark in places with light at the end of the tunnel. I'm torn about the value of this book. I have been a Brene Brown fan for quite some time as an online course I teach for another university requires students to watch her TED talk on vulnerability. It has moved me on several levels. My favorite quote is that vulnerability is the birthplace of joy. This book dives deeper into the issues behind vulnerability, namely shame and guilt. Hence, the book is actually quite difficult to read. It's a bit dark in places with light at the end of the tunnel. Ultimately, though, the chapters on reforming education, work relationships, and parenting offered excellent insights into the value of vulnerability for leadership. At a military academy, vulnerability is not a value that we teach. This book makes me question how we might go about allowing vulnerability in the military while still honoring our commitment to strength. Perhaps we would see a decrease in sexual assault, domestic abuse, and suicide. Also, as a faculty developer, the book highlighted how teachers must be vulnerable in the classroom in order to affect their students. Stephen Brookfield's work on impostership affirms this notion by explaining how we pretend to be all-knowing in front of students when in fact sharing our imperfections often affects learning the most. Lots of food for thought, but I'm not sure how recommending this book might be received by my colleagues.
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  • Julie Ekkers
    January 1, 1970
    Daring Greatly presents a strong case for making one's self more vulnerable, which the author would define as showing up and letting one's self be seen--being the man in the arena from the Teddy Roosevelt speech from which the book takes its name. Brown's writing style is knowledgeable, but straightforward, just like her TED talks. Just like those talks, this book gave me a lot of terrific things to think about: the relationship between vulnerability and trust, the importance of boundaries and h Daring Greatly presents a strong case for making one's self more vulnerable, which the author would define as showing up and letting one's self be seen--being the man in the arena from the Teddy Roosevelt speech from which the book takes its name. Brown's writing style is knowledgeable, but straightforward, just like her TED talks. Just like those talks, this book gave me a lot of terrific things to think about: the relationship between vulnerability and trust, the importance of boundaries and how they can exist with vulnerability and trust, how perfectionism and vulnerability are at cross purposes, and how being vulnerable is a path to connection. The passage I have returned to multiple times reads, "When it comes to vulnerability, connectivity means sharing our stories with people who have *earned the right to hear them*--people with whom we've cultivated relationships that can bear the weight of our story." I love the author's acknowledgment that caring about what others think, but not letting their thoughts define us and being open to feedback, but unwilling to subject ourselves to criticism, is all tricky, tricky business, and so appreciated her offer of ways to help strike that balance more often than not. The book is a call to be vulnerable--as uncomfortable as that may be--but also an exploration of what is gained by daring greatly, and how to try.
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  • Rachel Smalter Hall
    January 1, 1970
    If you're already familiar with Brené Brown's popular TED talk, Daring Greatly follows much in the same vein.I wasn't familiar with her work, and expected this book to contain practical insights into creativity, innovation, and risk-taking. But instead it remained wholly in the territory of Brown's academic research on shame and vulnerability.Brown's work is interesting, but not at all what I'd intended to read. With a giant pile of TBR books waiting on my nightstand, my time spent on this book If you're already familiar with Brené Brown's popular TED talk, Daring Greatly follows much in the same vein.I wasn't familiar with her work, and expected this book to contain practical insights into creativity, innovation, and risk-taking. But instead it remained wholly in the territory of Brown's academic research on shame and vulnerability.Brown's work is interesting, but not at all what I'd intended to read. With a giant pile of TBR books waiting on my nightstand, my time spent on this book is ultimately time I wish I could get back.I might've stuck with it, but I was too annoyed by the attitude that society is deteriorating into a narcissistic bully fest, and it's all the fault of social media and cellphones. I never buy into that argument, and found it pervasive throughout Brown's book.
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  • Darcy
    January 1, 1970
    I loved this. It's going on the "reread when you need to be fortified/inspired/emboldened" shelf. Also, I don't have kids but I thought the chapter on parenting was just great. Note to self: reread that when you do have a kid. Many thanks to my childhood BFF for recommending.
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  • Anne Bogel
    January 1, 1970
    So, so good. This is one to read and read and read again.
  • Jazzmin Hunter
    January 1, 1970
    There wouldn't be much left if all the sappy autobiographical stuff was removed. The audiobook reader is irritating too. Imagine a breathy voice saying something like "Once again I amazed myself at how amazing I am in spite of all my humility and vulnerability." and it would pretty much sum up my impression of this book.
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